Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Picks Week 2

We all know Rain will be the real winner this week (deja vu anyone?) but you're probably bored as shit at your crappy desk job (or maybe that's just me) so make some picks.  For all the new lurkers out there (if they exist anymore) this is where you write funny shit at the expense of others and make people laugh.  We'll (maybe) keep tabs of winning Pickers at the end of the season and give you some sort of awesome prize. And by awesome I mean terrible.



8 comments:

Jess said...

OAF v. THEE Beer Nuts
Welp, looks like THEE Nuts are back to their old, losing ways but with a (less than) formidable opponent in OAF on the schedule they might actually have a chance. WILL LaNiece chug a beer for every kickballer in the league this week? HAS TBN’s average height actually gotten SHORTER this season?? WILL Nate have a complete loss of composure and commence a yelling rampage at least once this season? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Only time will tell.

Free Ballers v. Rikickulous
FreeBallers have some decent players. I expect them to pull off an upset or two this season. As for Rekickulous, like Paul said, I don’t know anything about this team but Litman likes you. Except the appropriate phrase following that statement should be “May God have mercy on your soul.”

Pitches be Cray v. Ligers
The new and improved PBC knows how to (kick)ball and are bringing the heat from WAKA. They have athletic players and know the rules. Ironically; however, they are the fan of the sidearm. Hmm…seems suspicious. Come to think of it, I never saw CJ Thursday night….What if CJ is PBC Pitcher and PBC Pitcher PBC is CJ?!? I smell an Ace Venture Pet Detective quote coming on.

Superbad v. Great Balls of Fire
Don’t know where Great Balls of Fire came from. They seem to be pretty decent though, not taking into consideration the fact they are named after a terrible Jerry Lee Lewis song. I have no idea which Superbad will show up this week but chances are it’ll be the one with a sweaty Deeks and a side-arming CJ (unless of course Finkle is Einhorn and Einhorn is Finkle).

Growlers v. Alcoballics
This is a tough call. A trimmed down Growler team came out in dominating fashion last week before the deluge called the game after 5 innings (Griff is hiring the best kickball lawyer in the land to appeal as we speak) but the Ballics are a tough veteran team. I’m not sure how much arguing will occur with Mt. E-Flo out of the line-up, but a lot less cigs will ripped, that’s for sure. Douchebaggery will abound as it always does with these 2 teams and I gotta go with my asshole black team for the W.

Chris Faz said...

On a five point scale I give your commentary 3.5/5. Pretty good stuff. Now your picks on the other hand, they get a 1/5 because you actually only made one pick and it was for your own team to win. For being the queen of picks you certainly could use a little help.

Paul said...

Faz,

That's funny, on a recent Growler email Jess gave your sexual skills a 3.5/5 but also scored her desire to have sex with you 1/5.

I know what your thinking and yes, that is what the Growlers talk about in our emails.

JD said...



THEE Beer Nuts d OAF
The Keebler nuts destract LeNiece by baking her delicious cookies and crackers. Unfortunately she works through their offering by the third inning and realizes OAF is down 10-0. In a fit of rage she destroys their tree house leaving Nate and Faz homeless.


Free Ballers d Rikickulous
FreeBallers have some decent players. I expect them to pull off an upset or two this season. As for Rekickulous, like Paul said, I don’t know anything about this team but Litman likes you. Except the appropriate phrase following that statement should be “May God have mercy on your soul.”

Ligers d PBC
Always bet on black. It appears this is not the remnants of our old team, so they may show up in the playoffs. The curse of the name continues.


Superbad d Great Balls of Fire
How the hell did I end up on Superbad??? I have to stock up on Under Armour and hair gel, so I may be late to the game. Now that CJ, Justin and Josh are on the same team will we be called Superbad with Women? I stayed up way too late thinking that up.

Growlers d Alcoballics
Allison would not shut up about her team, so I'm assuming she purged her Benetton squad. Still not enough to be black.

Chris Faz said...

Paul,

You're*

Jess said...

I wish Paul was joking

Smooty said...

Paul isn't good at math or grammar...

Supa CJ said...

Noah has come back from the dead and has begun to build the Ark at Desoto Park. I have requested he put a kickball field on the ship.