Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Captains Meeting

The GKB captains meeting will be on August 18th at Yard of Ale.  Hopefully soon I'll get the list of teams, schedule and other information to post.  Power Rankings and all that other asinine shit we do will then follow.

**UPDATE**

"GOKickball Tampa Fall Meet and Greet and Captains Meeting"
Yard of Ale: 7pm
Thursday Aug 18th
Captains meeting starts at 7:45pm (unlike our old league, it lasts like 10 minutes)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

New Krewe in town


If anyone is looking to join a Gasparilla Krewe, Ye Eternal Krewe of Davy Jones is officially taking members. Ray Rose and I started up the Krewe with advice from founders of other krewe's in the area. Our float will be under construction in a couple weeks. It's going to be a 2 story float modeled after the flying dutchman from the movies. Besides all the partying we will be doing volunteer work in the area. If you are interested our brochure can be found here:


Our website with more information is www.DJKrewe.com

Monday, August 1, 2011

Competitive Kickball

The ToeJammers (and friends) went up to Atlanta this past weekend to compete in GOKickball's Southeast Kickball Fest, which was an open tournament played in conjunction with their national tournament.  For me, the experience was much like that Las Vegas trip we took with the Alcoballics last year (but on a smaller scale... and I didn't lose a shit-ton of money gambling... and I don't think we're going to be banned from this league in a few months).

First off... we made the "Elite 8" before getting anally raped (10-0) by the team that has now finished 2nd both years this event has taken place.  Our team played well, and all three games we won were come-back wins in the LAST inning.  Apparently the second team we beat was the dominant team of their local GKB league, so at least we were able to beat one team who thought they were the tits.

ToeJammers (and friends) love tits.

We also finished 2nd in the flip-cup tournament... which was a disaster due to the cups provided by the bar.  They were taller and had a smaller diameter than normal Solo cups, so even in the finals BOTH teams had players 8+ flipping.  I haven't lost very many flip-cup tournaments in my life, so that was a little more disappointing than the kickball.

Anyway, the whole event was more organized than I expected.  GKB is still a growing league, but they have a long way to go and need to make a few changes before they'll ever be as large as the "Microsoft of kickball."  The problem (which will never go away) is that their rules cater too much to competitive kickball.  I'll post up my thoughts on their rules later in the week.

Last year in Vegas we learned about "The Circuit," which is a group of teams that travel the US and play in kickball tournaments.  From what I know... their site started as a portal to bridge all kickball leagues together.  They have a message board where people bitch and complain about all the normal kickball-related bullshit... and it's 100% all serious.  Ironically, I haven't heard of WAKA banning people for talking shit on that website (apparently MLoop doesn't read it).  It's only a matter of time until the guys who run the site attempt to start leagues nationally, and it appears the groundwork for that has already begun.  Everyone is a whore for your kickball dollars these days.

So what's wrong with competitive kickball?  The team we beat that was "the tits" had a line-up that was used by EVERY top team in the tournament: ten guys followed by four girls.  That is ToeJammer Tournament Mode on steroids.  The reason this happens is because munting (and in GKB's case, allowing the pitcher to run up past the mound) eliminates the need for females.  Not even the strongest legged girl is going to boot a ball over the defense when a male pitcher is throwing 100mph fastballs.  And no girl bunting will sprint faster to first base than a roided out Ed Hardy fan who is also allowed to munt.

We actually asked a guy about their line-up.  His response was (and I'm not joking): "We're here to win money.  Guys score the runs in kickball. So if a girl wants to play on our team they can take their rightful spot at the end of the line-up."

ToeJammer Christian quipped how we actually like our girls, and our rules make them a crucial part of the team.  But competitive dude-fests don't need chicks and as long as the rules of major leagues stay the same, they never will.

I came back from the tournament happy to have spent the past three years playing kickball with everyone in Tampa. We're easily the most creative, most close-knit and most ambitious kickballers in the nation.  Every season there's a few teams that take it too far and suck the fun out of the game... but even they are light years away from "The Circuit."  I look forward to sitting back in a few weeks, drinking beer at the fields (in my ice-cold and previously outlawed cooler), helping the Ligers to another .500 season... all while enjoying the companionship of our female friends.  Hell... they get on base more than our guys do anyway.

Oh... and the team that won the tournament... a traveling team ranked #5 on The Circuit at the time of this writing.  They also won the GKB national tournament in the morning, which means they won about 20 games in 14 hours (and lost none).  No thanks.

Ruben and Griff in action.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

GOKickball Pick-Up Tournament (Saturday) Cancelled

There were not enough RSVPs on this blog or FaceBook to justify GKB renting the field and bringing food/drinks for a pick-up tournament.  So the event has been postponed, which really means cancelled.  If anyone was planning on going and didn't RSVP... well... you're to blame for the lack of freedom throughout the world and for the thousands of puppies and kittens who are euthanized each day.

Obviously, we'll keep you posted with any other kickball news.  Go fill up the rest of your rosters!

Wings Gone Wild - Voucher

As some of you know... there is a half-off voucher for Wings Gone Wild.  $10 for $20 worth of food and alcohol (I used one last night).  Just follow this link... on the left side of the site choose restaurants and you'll see it.

It's good for one year from purchase, and you can buy up to three of them.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dating Site Fun

So apparently there is a guy out there on the internets that trolls dating sites by offering to draw/sketch women.  He claims to be an excellent artist and sends them portraits (ingeniously created in MSpaint).  Check out his forum post for some giggles. One day I'm going to have to get Geoff to teach me how to draw...

It's mean... but most funny things are.

At least there's a crowd at the a Rays game


Pretty great crowd reaction, my fave is the guy right above the batters helmet, everyone else is ducking and this genius looks straight up.

Got this in my email, wonder if it's real?

THIS IS THE (F.B.I)
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
E=MAIL: ( washingtonfbi@washington.usa.
com)
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)

ATTENTION DEAR THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING YOU ARE GOING TO RECIEVE FROM ME DO YOU GET ME????
I HOPE YOURE UNDERSTAND HOW MANY TIMES THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT TO YOU?.

WE HAVE WARNED YOU SO MANY TIME AND YOU HAVE DECIDED TO IGNORE OUR E-MAILS OR BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE NOT BEEN INSTRUCTED TO GET YOU ARRESTED, AND TODAY IF YOU FAIL TO RESPOND BACK TO US WITH THE PAYMENT THEN, WE WOULD FIRST SEND A LETTER TO THE MAYOR OF THE CITY WHERE YOU RESIDE AND DIRECT THEM TO CLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT UNTIL YOU HAVE BEEN JAILED AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES WILL BE CONFISCATED BY THE FBI.

WE WOULD ALSO SEND A LETTER TO THE COMPANY/AGENCY THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR SO THAT THEY COULD GET YOU FIRED UNTIL WE ARE THROUGH WITH OUR INVESTIGATIONS BECAUSE A SUSPECT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR ANY PRIVATE ORGANIZATION.
YOUR ID WHICH WE HAVE IN OUR DATABASE BEEN SENT TO ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES IN AMERICA FOR THEM TO INSET YOU IN THEIR WEBSITE AS AN INTERNET FRAUDSTERS AND TO WARN PEOPLE FROM HAVING ANY DEALS WITH YOU.

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SOLVED ALL THIS WHILE IF YOU HAD GOTTEN THE CERTIFICATE SIGNED, ENDORSED AND STAMPED AS YOU WHERE INSTRUCTED IN THE E-MAIL BELOW.
THIS IS THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) AM WRITING IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAIL YOU SENT TO US
AND AM USING THIS MEDIUM TO INFORM YOU THAT THERE IS NO MORE TIME LEFT TO WASTE BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN FROM THE 3RD OF JANUARY.

AS STATED EARLIER TO HAVE THE DOCUMENT ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED WITHOUT FAILURE AND YOU MUST ADHERE TO THIS DIRECTIVES TO AVOID YOU BLAMING YOURSELF AT LAST WHEN WE MUST HAVE ARRESTED AND JAILED YOU FOR LIFE AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES CONFISCATED.YOU FAILED TO COMPLY WITH OUR DIRECTIVES AND THAT WAS THE REASON WHY WE DIDN'T HEAR FROM YOU ON THE
3RD AS OUR DIRECTOR HAS ALREADY BEEN NOTIFIED ABOUT YOU GET THE PROCESS COMPLETED YESTERDAY AND RIGHT NOW THE WARRANT OF

ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND IT WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN THE NEXT 48HOURS AS STRICTLY SIGNED BY THE FBI DIRECTOR.
WE HAVE INVESTIGATED AND FOUND OUT THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN THE FRAUDULENT DEAL WAS COMMITTED WITH YOUR INFORMATION'S/IDENTITY AND RIGHT NOW IF YOU ID IS PLACED ON OUR WEBSITE AS A WANTED PERSON, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THAT IT WILL BE A SHAME TO YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BECAUSE AFTER THEN IT WILL BE ANNOUNCE IN ALL THE LOCAL CHANNELS THAT YOU ARE WANTED BY THE FBI.

AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND A HONEST MAN, I DECIDED TO SEE HOW I COULD BE OF HELP TO YOU BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU END UP IN JAIL AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES CONFISCATED ALL BECAUSE YOUR INFORMATION'S WAS USED TO CARRY OUT A FRAUDULENT TRANSACTIONS, I CALLED THE EFCC AND THEY DIRECTED ME TO A PRIVATE ATTORNEY WHO COULD HELP YOU GET THE PROCESS DONE AND HE STATED THAT HE WILL ENDORSE, SIGN AND STAMP THE DOCUMENT AT THE SUM OF $400 USD ONLY AND I BELIEVE THIS PROCESS IS CHEAPER FOR YOU.

YOU NEED TO DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE WITHIN TODAY AND TOMORROW TO GET THIS PROCESS DONE BECAUSE OUR DIRECTOR HAS CALLED TO INFORM ME THAT THE WARRANT OF ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND ONCE IT HAS BEEN APPROVED, THEN THE ARREST WILL BE CARRIED OUT, AND FROM OUR INVESTIGATIONS WE LEARNT THAT YOU WERE THE PERSON THAT FORWARDED YOUR IDENTITY TO ONE IMPOSTOR/FRAUDSTERS IN NIGERIA LAST YEAR WHEN HE HAD A DEAL WITH YOU ABOUT THE TRANSFER OF SOME ILLEGAL FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10.500,000.00 USD.

I PLEADED ON YOUR BEHALF SO THAT THIS AGENCY COULD GIVE YOU THE 2011/02/16 SO THAT YOU COULD GET
THIS PROCESS DONE BECAUSE I LEARNT THAT YOU WERE SENT SEVERAL E-MAIL WITHOUT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM YOU, PLEASE BEAR IT IN MIND THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO HELP YOU AT THIS MOMENT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO FACE THE LAW AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ONCE IT HAS BEFALL ON YOU.YOU WOULD MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEY GRAM TRANSFER OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE BELOW

DETAILS.
RECEIVER NAME ==== FRANK OBISI
COUNTRY========== NIGERIA
CITY============== LAGOS
TEXT QUESTION==== URGENT
TEXT ANSWER===== MATTER
AMOUNT=====$400 USD
SENDERS NAME======
SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS TO ME WHICH ARE SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS, MTCN NUMBER, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER USED AND THE AMOUNTSENT.

MAKE SURE THAT YOU DIDN'T HESITATE MAKING THE PAYMENT DOWN TO THE AGENCY BY TODAY SO THAT THEY COULD HAVE THE CERTIFICATE ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.
AFTER ALL THIS PROCESS HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT, THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO PROCEED TO THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR COMPENSATION FUNDS WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10,500,000.00 USD WHICH WAS SUPPOSE TO HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO YOU ALL THIS WHILE.
NOTE/ ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES HAS BEEN CONTACTED ON THIS REGARDS AND WE SHALL TRACE AND ARREST YOU IF YOU DISREGARD THIS INSTRUCTIONS.

You are given a grace TODAY to make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched.
THANKS AS I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE
RESPECTIVELY
AGENT RONALD T. HOSKO.
EMAIL: a_ronaldhosko_fbi@w.cn
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)

Friday, July 15, 2011

It's Friday... Why Am I at Work?

DPT and DPT Golf have now joined the Konami "community."  I'll change it up from time to time... but it's just more asinine shit to tinker with.  If you don't know what I'm talking about... it's probably better that way.

GOKickball is going to host a pick-up tournament at Doc Nance next Saturday (23rd).  Just show up and play.  It should kick off at 11am, so inform your teams if you want practice.  It's been a long off-season and I wouldn't assume everyone will see this message.  It's not a You Tube video... you know.  More importantly, the ToeJammers (and friends) should use this opportunity to practice GKB's actual rules (not the better rules we play by).  The Atlanta tournament is coming up very soon.  Please RSVP (via comment) if you're interested.

The inaugural season of DPT Golf is finishing up.  It appears everyone is enjoying it, so if you want to play next season let us know.  Before you ask... I have no idea when next season will be.  Probably in a few months.

DPT's summer trip is also rapidly approaching.  We have enough people going to fill the 3-story mansion/cabin we rented.  But we aren't turning people away!  Get on that evite (you can find it on this blog) if you want to join us for whitewater rafting.

Alright... back to work.