Mother Nature Teases, Give Red Rockets a Ruined Orgasm

The Red Rockets got to fields early last Wednesday night only to be greeted by distant thunderstorms that seemed to be circling over Northdale. Over the course of 45 minutes the rain would slow to a playable drizzle, but then much heavier "Big Charlie-like" rain would soon follow with a flash and distant thunderclap. And while a few people from various teams were kicking a ball around braving the storm, the Rockets just couldn't seem to "get it up" in true Red Rocket fashion and join in. It was a teasing, frustrating evening. Not a lot different than a weeknight first date makeout session with a beautiful, yet totally sober, hottie. But, hey it's cool, that's what the Mons and 2001 are there for right?


So, we leave the fields and head for the bar. The kickball crowd was pretty solid and the Red Rockets were well represented. After ordering my signature beverage of choice, this kickball reporter began to wander around and mingle with some other teams.

























Not long after making the rounds, I found myself at the bar discussing topics such as soccer techniques, Ireland and Irish American dual citizenship with John "Irish" Durcan. It was a good conversation, but after about 20 minutes, I realized that Irish doesn't have boobs and it was time to start a new conversation with someone else. But first I asked him if the sting of the Manchester United loss had wore off yet. As you can tell by his reaction (pictured above) it certainly hasn't.

After shitting myself from Irish's look of potential murder, I changed my undies and found some girls to talk to. It wasn't long after that when the words "flip cup" came out of someone's mouth (Not to be confused with a game Ruben likes to play called "Who's in My Mouth?"). And wouldn't you know it, two folding beer pong tables, about 8 crazy flip cup games and a few pitchers later, I was officially drunk. I'd give more details beyond this point, but to be honest, I don't really remember much. But I woke up at home, my pants we not missing and my phone wasn't blowing up with messages, so I guess people couldn't tell how trashed I was.

So I guess we're still playing Got Green? next week. Should give you Red Rocket clowns reading this (FYI, Jeanette probably just cursed you and your entire family) more time to get your green bandannas, undies, etc. for Wednesday. Until then, rock out with your Red Rocket out!