All week match-ups this week, nothing to be funny about:
PBC over JACK: What can be funny about this, PBC wins, then kills kittens.
SuperBad over ALCO: What can be funny about this, Alco’s new sign is like 5 seasons past it’s prime.
Ligers over Growlers: GAME OF THE WEEK: Liger Blue will have to face a tougher opponent than usual. But The Todd knows Peter will pull through and spear head an offensive Blitzkrieg over the black.
TJ over BND: They will use the same winning strategy as last week, prompting Griff to search hard for another Jean Cluade van Damme Bloodsport picture. The rest of the Recap post will be recycled.
TBN over HBHT Last weeks TBN performance brought back their winning ways, even if HBHT is gaining steam.
Shock over YOU… I really dig the Green Team, more than you could know, but Shocker Rob’s off season recruiting has made sweetly in returns…. Easy win.
I have a busy day tomorrow, so I figured I may as well get this done early.
PBC – They’ve had my shoes for the last 5 weeks and apparently the team believes those shoes are their new lucky charm. Who am I to argue with that logic? Plus, you don’t jack up the Deeks, the Deeks jacks up you… and will replace every since team member if they don’t win this game. Annnnd…. I already made the prediction of an undefeated season for PBC, so I gotta stick with it.
Superbad – The Alcoballics came into the season with such potential, but they just haven’t lived up to the hype. Actually, they’ve looked downright superbad in a couple games this season. They do have an awesome new flag, but props don’t win games. And neither do mascots. Just ask Ohio University.
Ligers – As we’ve all learned, ligers ARE cute and cuddly… but they also have a mean growl! Just ask this kid:
[Well... that was a letdown. Apparently you can't post pictures in comments section of this blog. That seems lame. I'll post the picture in a separate post. Hype, anyone?]
This game might be close, but the Ligers come out with the win.
Toejammers – No contest here. Kevin’s special sauce, snake and afro will distract from the beat down that is sure to occur. Not really anyway to make this funny…
TBN – Poor honey badgers… if only they could hit that… or kick that… they might have a chance to win more than one game this season. TBN are veterans, honey badgers are the new kids on the block. And, just like NKOTB, their hits are over.
Shockers – YLLINaD just hasn’t gotten it done this season. We can probably go ahead and chalk that win last week up to some left over St. Patty’s day luck. Team Green will need a drink after being demolished by the Shockers this week. Too bad Todd won’t be donning his Shocker outfit to help console YLL after their loss… or will he? Rumor has it he likes him some green…
Without a major unforseen upset the games this week are already over.
Jacked Up vs. Pitches Be Crazy I've yet to witness Jacked Up, jack anyone up besides themselves. Unless they find a case of roid-rage this game is a walk in the park. Then again this walk requires our team to stroll through "landmine lane" aka the base paths on field one. I've heard rumors that capt. Dave is threatening us with Nut Liquor shots if we lose. PBC WINS
SuperBad vs. Alcoballics I'll take the spread here. Supa by 4 1/2.
Ligers vs. Growlers So much for that unforseen upset, Growlers get to growling and blindside the Ligers. Growlers Win.
Toe Jammers vs. GBD Well...what can be said here? GBD appear to be having a good time even though they get slaughtered every week. I did see the catcher bust some sweet break dance moves while trying to pick up a ball last week. Toe Jam taste like a Win!
TBN vs. HBHT Either TBNs played better than they are last week or we really sucked. TBNs win this one by running around tags taking them 2'7" out of the allotted 2'6" base paths. Not sure how the pitches will be called but I saw some pretty nasty spins last week from the pitcher of TBN. I say if he can get it between the cones kick that shit!
YLLINAD vs. Shockers I'm not one to refuse a shocker and no exceptions will be made here. Plus YLLINADs name is just too long. Shockers Win!
PBC over Jack......Seiler will be 15 minutes drunker by the start of the game this week. We will slowly roll the ball in a relatively straight line to the batter and put the least possible amount of thought and effort into it.
SuperBad over Alcoballics.....There will be at least one weird argument that both teams will look back on with regret and shame.
Growlers over Ligers.....Growlers have played tough and are no longer distracted with the Gators out of the tournament.
ToeJam over Guys & Balls....2 of the first 3 TJ's will kick homeruns. This will be ugly and Rubs will start pitching straight after the first inning just to shut Chandler up.
Beer Nuts over HBHT.....Beer Nuts will devise a new, more efficient strategy of skipping second base and running straight from first to third. The rest of the league are idiots for not thinking of it. It actually does frown upon it in this magical rulebook everyone speaks of, but Johnny decides not to enforce it.
Shockers over YLLINAD....Final score 1-0 and somewhere Rubs is smiling.
Pitches - Jacked Up starts the 2nd half of their farewell tour. Which is a shame because they probably have some of the hottest chicks in the league. Yeah... I said it.
Supa - Frank and Sandra are on a honeymoon. So Matt P is in charge. Gorecki will be mentally boating tonight so expect him to drop everything he touches.
Growlers - The entire pitching debate is Jess' fault. I didn't have anything to do with it... she was the mastermind of the movement! All of her sweet karaoke raps at the bar were filled with subliminal messages, convincing Johnny we needed to enforce existing rules for the betterment of the league. Because I've now exposed her diabolical plan... they're going to kick our ass tonight on the field.
Jamz - Ruben is back! But due to the pitching rule changes, the Jammers won't be at the top of their game. So they'll only win by 13 instead of 30.
Nutz - If there is an "upset" this week... you might find it here. HBHT is decent depending on who shows up. At least the Nuts are consistently OK.
Shocks - I've got some inside information that I'm not sharing with anyone. Shockers win this game.
Jacked vs. PBC Deeks’ entire extended family shows up this game to cheer on PBC behind home plate. And by cheer I mean smoke copious amounts of drugs and play with their scary Dobermans/Pitbulls. Scared shitless of under-performing, PBC pulls another win out of their ass. Oh yea, something about DeekSweat too.
Superbad vs. Ballics Rabble Rabble Bitch Bitch Supa wins.
Ligers vs. Growlers Since my secret, non-pick weapon (as Alison so eloquently put it) failed me last week and my diabolical plan has been exposed this week, I’m out of tricky maneuvers. I’m also pissed that Ruben’s post got one more noms than mine. For all these reasons I incite supreme feistiness in my team and we win a close one.
Jammers vs. GBD This has been a rough season for the Jammers. First Rubs’ subway points get denied and now he leaves for two weeks and one feisty catcher quotes the rule book and shit’s hit the fan. They take their aggression out on the geriatrics and win by 50 regardless of how they pitch.
TBN vs. HBHT These are probably the front runners for the Chalice of the Others or Crystal Pitcher or whatever the hell award they are eligible for. Both teams don’t give a shit about their play tonight, they drink booze and share some laughs (they might even gather on the field, singing “Afternoon Delight” , naked, afterwards…wait, that’s just another dream I had). One wins and one loses and no one cares. (TBN wins, for the record, though)
YLL vs. Shockers Poor YLL pitcher, starting all this drama because you have a wicked crazy pitch. You’re probably one of the nicest guys out there; too bad you never read the blog to know what you’ve started. And not only that, you’re going to lose to purple tonight.
Jacked Up v. Pitches Be Crazy There’s a new badass in town and his name is Lucifer! Those pointy ears and intense black eyes didn’t throw PBC off their game last week so don’t expect it this week either. Jacked Up will look near angelic this week next to the DeekSpawn crew but that still won’t save them. With Lucifer at the wheel the PBC bus is headed straight to hell. Repent! Repeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent!
SuperBad v. Alcoballics Most fun game of the week! Even though Frank won’t be in town to bring his movie star good looks to the fields, Supa will be out in force after hyping it up after the hypiest hype hypie-hype wedding of all time! Hype!!! The two teams will be bringing their “M” costumes to a game that is always fun, well attended, and will surely have some excellent costumes. I’m going to try to come as a bigger movie star than Frank….gonna be close! Hype! Oh yeah, and there will be a kickball game. Which Supa will win. But we’ll all still have a hype time.
Hype
Ligers v. Growlers The Feisty & Non-Complaining Jess’ are ready to dominate the Ligers this week capitalizing on the yet-again absence of Hot Tub Party Todd. Whether it’s a Chili Peppers concert or the crying children of Haiti, HTPT will only come to a game if you donate your 80 cents a day. That’s all. Less than a cup of coffee even. For just 80 cents a day you can be a part of something so special—feeding him protein bars, clothing him in shocker costumes, and healing of HTPT’s Liger loyalty. Our precious Todd will continue to be jealous of the new Ballic flag if you don’t reach into your pocket and pull out that 80 cents a day. Please, do your part. …before Sally Struthers devours him.
ToeJammers v. Guys, Balls & Dolls Christian will be in good company this week as I’ve never seen a senior citizen that doesn’t have scraggly-ass feet. I haven’t checked with Miss Cleo yet to see if Trini will make an appearance (they have to be cousins…right???) so it’s still up to the universe if Christian will finally get that pedicure or not. My Magic 8 Ball currently says that anyone who bets this is going to happen will find themselves wearing the superhero underwear of the week. It also says that anyone who bets that the Jammers won’t take out their pitching rule frustrations on GB&D and Fierce Rape them in scoring will find themselves buying drinks.
THEE Beer Nuts v. Honey Badgers Hit That TBN held their own last week against an undefeated and Beelzebubian inspired PBC so it seems that their prayers were partially answered and aid was sent in their hour of need. After that close loss last week TBN said their prayers and can now get prepped for the Battle of the Greys. I foresee their intelligently designed aid returning to their sides. Only this time to carry them to victory! Why? Because light grey was surely the color of Jesus! No one has Clorox back then; no such thing as bright whites. Get your head on straight, Son.
You Look Like I Need A Drink v. Shockers Most evenly matched GOTW despite their opposing records in the standings. Too quality teams matching up here. The Ballics were almost able to mount a comeback against the Shockers last week so the Shockers will need to step up their game if they want to take the W from YLL. Props to the two Shocker chicks who came out nerded up last week…for the theme that the Shockers proposed. Oh, and Rob wore a tie askew. Nerd! I wish YLL would do something funny so I have better material for future commentary weeks. In lieu of that, I will provide you with Tony’s next stunt. Forget chair jumping… Shockers win.
PBC - Deeks and crew continue to kick anything thrown at them, fueled by the sweet sweet blueberry pie provided by Dan's nursing home pals.
SupaPinky - Battle of the Scarecrows now showing on field 2! I'm cheering for the 'ballics to pick up a "W" to go along with this new flag I'm hearing about, but the SupaPinky's are just too deep with talent.
Growlers - It's the Secretary of the "Enforce Better Pitching Until Fastballs Become Too Hard To Kick and We Ban Those Too Movement" vs the President of the "Pitch Competitively but Don't be a Douche Because I Am NOT Complaining Committee" tonight. This one could go either way...but hopefully there will be lots of scoring from both teams so everyone is happy once more. Growlers win 34-33, and everyone who gets on base receives a lollipop from Mr. Secretary.
TJ's - Skeleton crew tonight, but with the return of Fedora and Muscles the Toejammers won't skip a beat. Unless a mid-season modification changes that to give these newbies a better chance. Rabble Rabble Rabble! Let's go to YOA tonight...F'reals this time! :)
TBN - The Nuts can kick it to pretty much anyone except their captain. He played Right-center-everywhere-roamer against us and was the only one to stop the bleeding.
Shockers - Rob's squad should roll tonight...no curvy pitching from the greenies = man-bunt-a-thon for Team Grimace.
18 comments:
All week match-ups this week, nothing to be funny about:
PBC over JACK:
What can be funny about this, PBC wins, then kills kittens.
SuperBad over ALCO:
What can be funny about this, Alco’s new sign is like 5 seasons past it’s prime.
Ligers over Growlers:
GAME OF THE WEEK: Liger Blue will have to face a tougher opponent than usual. But The Todd knows Peter will pull through and spear head an offensive Blitzkrieg over the black.
TJ over BND:
They will use the same winning strategy as last week, prompting Griff to search hard for another Jean Cluade van Damme Bloodsport picture. The rest of the Recap post will be recycled.
TBN over HBHT
Last weeks TBN performance brought back their winning ways, even if HBHT is gaining steam.
Shock over YOU…
I really dig the Green Team, more than you could know, but Shocker Rob’s off season recruiting has made sweetly in returns…. Easy win.
I have a busy day tomorrow, so I figured I may as well get this done early.
PBC – They’ve had my shoes for the last 5 weeks and apparently the team believes those shoes are their new lucky charm. Who am I to argue with that logic? Plus, you don’t jack up the Deeks, the Deeks jacks up you… and will replace every since team member if they don’t win this game. Annnnd…. I already made the prediction of an undefeated season for PBC, so I gotta stick with it.
Superbad – The Alcoballics came into the season with such potential, but they just haven’t lived up to the hype. Actually, they’ve looked downright superbad in a couple games this season. They do have an awesome new flag, but props don’t win games. And neither do mascots. Just ask Ohio University.
Ligers – As we’ve all learned, ligers ARE cute and cuddly… but they also have a mean growl! Just ask this kid:
[Well... that was a letdown. Apparently you can't post pictures in comments section of this blog. That seems lame. I'll post the picture in a separate post. Hype, anyone?]
This game might be close, but the Ligers come out with the win.
Toejammers – No contest here. Kevin’s special sauce, snake and afro will distract from the beat down that is sure to occur. Not really anyway to make this funny…
TBN – Poor honey badgers… if only they could hit that… or kick that… they might have a chance to win more than one game this season. TBN are veterans, honey badgers are the new kids on the block. And, just like NKOTB, their hits are over.
Shockers – YLLINaD just hasn’t gotten it done this season. We can probably go ahead and chalk that win last week up to some left over St. Patty’s day luck. Team Green will need a drink after being demolished by the Shockers this week. Too bad Todd won’t be donning his Shocker outfit to help console YLL after their loss… or will he? Rumor has it he likes him some green…
Without a major unforseen upset the games this week are already over.
Jacked Up vs. Pitches Be Crazy I've yet to witness Jacked Up, jack anyone up besides themselves. Unless they find a case of roid-rage this game is a walk in the park. Then again this walk requires our team to stroll through "landmine lane" aka the base paths on field one. I've heard rumors that capt. Dave is threatening us with Nut Liquor shots if we lose. PBC WINS
SuperBad vs. Alcoballics I'll take the spread here. Supa by 4 1/2.
Ligers vs. Growlers So much for that unforseen upset, Growlers get to growling and blindside the Ligers. Growlers Win.
Toe Jammers vs. GBD Well...what can be said here? GBD appear to be having a good time even though they get slaughtered every week. I did see the catcher bust some sweet break dance moves while trying to pick up a ball last week. Toe Jam taste like a Win!
TBN vs. HBHT Either TBNs played better than they are last week or we really sucked. TBNs win this one by running around tags taking them 2'7" out of the allotted 2'6" base paths. Not sure how the pitches will be called but I saw some pretty nasty spins last week from the pitcher of TBN. I say if he can get it between the cones kick that shit!
YLLINAD vs. Shockers I'm not one to refuse a shocker and no exceptions will be made here. Plus YLLINADs name is just too long. Shockers Win!
PBC over Jack......Seiler will be 15 minutes drunker by the start of the game this week. We will slowly roll the ball in a relatively straight line to the batter and put the least possible amount of thought and effort into it.
SuperBad over Alcoballics.....There will be at least one weird argument that both teams will look back on with regret and shame.
Growlers over Ligers.....Growlers have played tough and are no longer distracted with the Gators out of the tournament.
ToeJam over Guys & Balls....2 of the first 3 TJ's will kick homeruns. This will be ugly and Rubs will start pitching straight after the first inning just to shut Chandler up.
Beer Nuts over HBHT.....Beer Nuts will devise a new, more efficient strategy of skipping second base and running straight from first to third. The rest of the league are idiots for not thinking of it. It actually does frown upon it in this magical rulebook everyone speaks of, but Johnny decides not to enforce it.
Shockers over YLLINAD....Final score 1-0 and somewhere Rubs is smiling.
Very busy this week...not much time for commentary.
PBC over Jacked Up...Deeksweat back on track with a double digit win.
Superbad over Ballics...Gorecki strikes again. Even if he isnt there its still his fault.
Growlers over Ligers...literally flipped a coin on this one. Only game this week that is in question.
TJ over GBD...no complaining, no sidearm pitching, no problems for the TJ'ers. Who knows how many runs they score. 30?
TBN over HBHT...battle of the greys, hopefully we dont fuck this one up.
Shockers over Greenies...Its simple, the green team cannot score runs and the Shockers score alot.
PBC
Super Bad
Ligers
Jammers
TBN
Shockers
Commentary
Pitches - Jacked Up starts the 2nd half of their farewell tour. Which is a shame because they probably have some of the hottest chicks in the league. Yeah... I said it.
Supa - Frank and Sandra are on a honeymoon. So Matt P is in charge. Gorecki will be mentally boating tonight so expect him to drop everything he touches.
Growlers - The entire pitching debate is Jess' fault. I didn't have anything to do with it... she was the mastermind of the movement! All of her sweet karaoke raps at the bar were filled with subliminal messages, convincing Johnny we needed to enforce existing rules for the betterment of the league. Because I've now exposed her diabolical plan... they're going to kick our ass tonight on the field.
Jamz - Ruben is back! But due to the pitching rule changes, the Jammers won't be at the top of their game. So they'll only win by 13 instead of 30.
Nutz - If there is an "upset" this week... you might find it here. HBHT is decent depending on who shows up. At least the Nuts are consistently OK.
Shocks - I've got some inside information that I'm not sharing with anyone. Shockers win this game.
Jacked vs. PBC
Deeks’ entire extended family shows up this game to cheer on PBC behind home plate. And by cheer I mean smoke copious amounts of drugs and play with their scary Dobermans/Pitbulls. Scared shitless of under-performing, PBC pulls another win out of their ass. Oh yea, something about DeekSweat too.
Superbad vs. Ballics
Rabble Rabble Bitch Bitch Supa wins.
Ligers vs. Growlers
Since my secret, non-pick weapon (as Alison so eloquently put it) failed me last week and my diabolical plan has been exposed this week, I’m out of tricky maneuvers. I’m also pissed that Ruben’s post got one more noms than mine. For all these reasons I incite supreme feistiness in my team and we win a close one.
Jammers vs. GBD
This has been a rough season for the Jammers. First Rubs’ subway points get denied and now he leaves for two weeks and one feisty catcher quotes the rule book and shit’s hit the fan. They take their aggression out on the geriatrics and win by 50 regardless of how they pitch.
TBN vs. HBHT
These are probably the front runners for the Chalice of the Others or Crystal Pitcher or whatever the hell award they are eligible for. Both teams don’t give a shit about their play tonight, they drink booze and share some laughs (they might even gather on the field, singing “Afternoon Delight” , naked, afterwards…wait, that’s just another dream I had). One wins and one loses and no one cares. (TBN wins, for the record, though)
YLL vs. Shockers
Poor YLL pitcher, starting all this drama because you have a wicked crazy pitch. You’re probably one of the nicest guys out there; too bad you never read the blog to know what you’ve started. And not only that, you’re going to lose to purple tonight.
Jacked Up v. Pitches Be Crazy
There’s a new badass in town and his name is Lucifer! Those pointy ears and intense black eyes didn’t throw PBC off their game last week so don’t expect it this week either. Jacked Up will look near angelic this week next to the DeekSpawn crew but that still won’t save them. With Lucifer at the wheel the PBC bus is headed straight to hell. Repent! Repeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent!
SuperBad v. Alcoballics
Most fun game of the week! Even though Frank won’t be in town to bring his movie star good looks to the fields, Supa will be out in force after hyping it up after the hypiest hype hypie-hype wedding of all time! Hype!!! The two teams will be bringing their “M” costumes to a game that is always fun, well attended, and will surely have some excellent costumes. I’m going to try to come as a bigger movie star than Frank….gonna be close! Hype! Oh yeah, and there will be a kickball game. Which Supa will win. But we’ll all still have a hype time.
Hype
Ligers v. Growlers
The Feisty & Non-Complaining Jess’ are ready to dominate the Ligers this week capitalizing on the yet-again absence of Hot Tub Party Todd. Whether it’s a Chili Peppers concert or the crying children of Haiti, HTPT will only come to a game if you donate your 80 cents a day. That’s all. Less than a cup of coffee even. For just 80 cents a day you can be a part of something so special—feeding him protein bars, clothing him in shocker costumes, and healing of HTPT’s Liger loyalty. Our precious Todd will continue to be jealous of the new Ballic flag if you don’t reach into your pocket and pull out that 80 cents a day. Please, do your part. …before Sally Struthers devours him.
ToeJammers v. Guys, Balls & Dolls
Christian will be in good company this week as I’ve never seen a senior citizen that doesn’t have scraggly-ass feet. I haven’t checked with Miss Cleo yet to see if Trini will make an appearance (they have to be cousins…right???) so it’s still up to the universe if Christian will finally get that pedicure or not. My Magic 8 Ball currently says that anyone who bets this is going to happen will find themselves wearing the superhero underwear of the week. It also says that anyone who bets that the Jammers won’t take out their pitching rule frustrations on GB&D and Fierce Rape them in scoring will find themselves buying drinks.
THEE Beer Nuts v. Honey Badgers Hit That
TBN held their own last week against an undefeated and Beelzebubian inspired PBC so it seems that their prayers were partially answered and aid was sent in their hour of need. After that close loss last week TBN said their prayers and can now get prepped for the Battle of the Greys. I foresee their intelligently designed aid returning to their sides. Only this time to carry them to victory! Why? Because light grey was surely the color of Jesus! No one has Clorox back then; no such thing as bright whites. Get your head on straight, Son.
And last but not least...
You Look Like I Need A Drink v. Shockers
Most evenly matched GOTW despite their opposing records in the standings. Too quality teams matching up here. The Ballics were almost able to mount a comeback against the Shockers last week so the Shockers will need to step up their game if they want to take the W from YLL. Props to the two Shocker chicks who came out nerded up last week…for the theme that the Shockers proposed. Oh, and Rob wore a tie askew. Nerd! I wish YLL would do something funny so I have better material for future commentary weeks. In lieu of that, I will provide you with Tony’s next stunt. Forget chair jumping… Shockers win.
PBC - Deeks and crew continue to kick anything thrown at them, fueled by the sweet sweet blueberry pie provided by Dan's nursing home pals.
SupaPinky - Battle of the Scarecrows now showing on field 2! I'm cheering for the 'ballics to pick up a "W" to go along with this new flag I'm hearing about, but the SupaPinky's are just too deep with talent.
Growlers - It's the Secretary of the "Enforce Better Pitching Until Fastballs Become Too Hard To Kick and We Ban Those Too Movement" vs the President of the "Pitch Competitively but Don't be a Douche Because I Am NOT Complaining Committee" tonight. This one could go either way...but hopefully there will be lots of scoring from both teams so everyone is happy once more. Growlers win 34-33, and everyone who gets on base receives a lollipop from Mr. Secretary.
TJ's - Skeleton crew tonight, but with the return of Fedora and Muscles the Toejammers won't skip a beat. Unless a mid-season modification changes that to give these newbies a better chance. Rabble Rabble Rabble! Let's go to YOA tonight...F'reals this time! :)
TBN - The Nuts can kick it to pretty much anyone except their captain. He played Right-center-everywhere-roamer against us and was the only one to stop the bleeding.
Shockers - Rob's squad should roll tonight...no curvy pitching from the greenies = man-bunt-a-thon for Team Grimace.
Alison broke the commentary this week. Griff and Jess kicked it in the nuts (especially Griffs Liger/Growler analysis).
Probably the best week of commentary ever.
Awesome commentary this week, Alison! That YouTube vid for tony was great...lol
Tony would have gone right through that door...
Kinda like the Kool Aid guy
Thanks, G-dizzle! I really hope you guys do bet something and that is the stakes. Aaaaaand that he's wearing a Kool Aid costume. LOL!
I second Chan on lots of good commentary this week. Enjoyed reading through it.
TIME IS UP!!!!!!
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