Week 9? Power Rankings

So, I generally have to strain my very limited comical ability to just attempt to be funny on these Power Rankings and frankly, with the nonstop coverage of the shit going down this week I just don't have it in me.  Yet, I don't want all the lurkers to spend too much time continually refreshing this site in the hopes for new Power Rankings....so the Freeballers get the only shout out this week.