GOKickball Sponsor Bar

The response to the sponsor bar was anything but a "consensus." With margin of error, the results were pretty much 50/50 and a lot of "both are fine" emails. After reporting this back to GKB, the manager (Johnny) decided to go with Yard of Ale.

For those of you liquor people, it's time to discover wine.

As mentioned before, there is still a contest running to name the division and conferences. $50 bar tab is up for grabs so get on that.

Also, registration is nearing the end. The league is about as big as GKB wants the inaugural season to be. If you haven't signed up yet, you're just about out of time. No worries though... I hear WAKA has some spots open.

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing..rolled out at Busch Stadium...


I could watch this all day...



Here's how it works - their is a magnet at the bottom that raises when filling, then drops when done.

GOKickball Bar and Contest

Hello DPT readers.  It's time to get involved and help shape one of our endorsed kickball leagues.

GOKickball has been very appreciative that many of us have decided to try their league this Winter/Spring.  The league manager, Johnny, is willing to let our group help make key decisions which will define our experience.  Today, we have two items to discuss.

1)  League Bar - We have gotten two offers from bars which we feel are acceptable.  Please comment, email, text, gChat or communicate to me your choice.  If you don't vote or don't spread the word to others to vote, then we will assume you don't have a preference and are OK with the federal deficit tripling in two years.

• Bungalow - $1 beers (not sure which type, but probably Miller Lite draft equivalent).  20% off all food and liquor drinks. They'll pay for karaoke if we find them a vendor.  They've also agreed to open their private room upstairs to our group so we'll have our own bar.
• Yard of Ale - $2 drafts / $7 pitchers of Yuengling and one other beer TBD (either Fosters, Presidente or Stella).  50% off all pizzas.  They'll bring in karaoke for us.

So start voting, debating and commenting.  We need a consensus ASAP.

2)  Division Name - We need a name for the division, and GKB wants to tap into our creative minds.  There will be a post on GKB - Tampa's FaceBook wall at 6pm tonight opening the contest.  "Like" them so you can participate.  If a name you suggest is selected, you will win a $50 bar tab at the season meet and greet (February 3rd).  That's right... a kickball league is actually going to give someone free drinks, instead of drinking beer and then charging us for it.  If you aren't playing in GKB, I'm sure you're still eligible to win.  You can suggest names here on DPT... but it won't count for the contest so make sure to go on FaceBook and suggest also.

That's all for now.  Hope those who celebrate Christmas had a nice one.  And those who don't... at least the annoying cliche songs will cease.

Merry Christmas DPT

Your Boy

Tryna be part of my friend group?

Feel the Warmth

Winter is officially here, and the Tampa Bay area has already seen a string of cold nights recently. While the next few days should be pleasant, 30 degree weather will be back early next week. DPT stresses the importance of staying warm while you party. Through our extensive research, we've found the warmest fire is made with solid dry wood and a World Accuracy Kick Association t-shirt. Here are two examples from last few weeks (more pics to follow throughout the winter):

A rare shirt: "Kicktease" from the Jeanette Era.

Your post-burning pose is key to successful warmth.

Remember to turn your head to avoid "smoke eyes."

Should skydiving be the next Cayo Costa trip?

So a buddy of mine is the pilot for a jump plane and has been bugging me to participate in my first ever skydive. Well i always gave him excuses like how its pricey and how far the place is for a South Tampon like myself and that all seemed to work.. until now...

CrowdSavings is discounting a tandem skydive from $285 to just $129! The place is skydivetampa.com and its located about 45 min from here. (near Smithkey's hometown of Lakeland) Now heres what really intrigued me.. If we get a big enough group to sign up he's invited us to come make a trip out of it and camp overnight. The jumpsite welcomes drinking and bonfires so combine that with skydiving what can go wrong?

You have a few days to decide on buying the coupon and we have till the end of June to use it. Given the 1st quarter of 2011 is packed with weddings and gasparilla shenanigans maybe we can we can find a weekend for us all to go do this before July? Even if you dont want to skdive (pussy) you can still come out and camp with the group.

So let me kow your thoughts about it and if enough people respond that are interested I say we start buying some of these coupons.

Here's the crowdsavings link to the discount. Post your thoughts..

Pretty Catchy

NSF - An oldie but a goodie: "Because now I know exactly what I have to do..."

MLoop Speaks; Grammar Weeps.

Despite the multiple emails sent by new Bayshore Division Rep Erik, WAKA decided to call in the "big guns" today and have MLoop take a stab at increasing the pathetic registration numbers.  Usually by now, Bayshore is sold out with 16 teams and 380+ players.  But this year (for some reason unbeknownst to me) there are only 7 groups signed up with only one containing the required 18 people.  O' how the mighty have fallen.

So in case you didn't get this email (like myself) here it is below.  I've highlighted a few lines that I'll discuss in a bit:

-----------------------------------

Hello WAKA Kickballers:

Our holiday season pricing discount is still effect, but ends soon.
Register now to play in the winter 2011 season for the FL Bayshore division in Tampa and take advantage of teh $10 discount.
Registration for the Tuesday night Breaker division opens in January.

Details:
Season Start Date: February 10th
Registration Close Date: As soon as the spots are gone, we work on a 1st come 1st served basis.
Game Nights: Thursday evenings at 7 & 8pm rotating weekly
Season length: 8 week season plus a Saturday morning/afternoon tournament.
Field Location: Police Athletic League.- 1924 W Diana Street Tampa, FL
Fees: $62 per player(early registrants only) includes team shirt, field equipment, and parties, lots more.

How to register:
Go to www.kickball.com/flbayshore
Read the entire info section carefully and register by clicking the blue register logo on the right side of the page.

Important:
If you want to return to the team you played on last season, make sure when you register to pick that group.

If you want to play on a team with your friends, make sure the 1st one who registers creates a “group” and everyone else who registers joins that group . (Otherwise you will end up elsewhere and will not be able to switch later) Groups are not guaranteed to become teams and may be merged with others to form teams.

If you are an individual just register as an individual and you will be placed on a team.

Division Bar:
The Bayshore division is proud to call MacDintons home of the WAKA special $1 beers our home away from home again.

Miscellaneous:

WAKA does not issue refunds once you register.
Game schedules may change due to circumstances beyond our control.
We also play on some holidays. The current schedule is posted on the division website.

TO UNSUBSCRIBE - REPLY BACK WITH THE WORDS "REMOVE ME" IN THE SUBJECT LINE

----------------------------------- 

Holy shit.  We've already put MLoop through our Customer Service Training Program, so why not grade his writing?  Let's do this:

1. "...is still effect" is missing a key word.  I guess MLoop gets props for using the correct effect/affect.
2. "Teh" is a common typo of "the," and is really only used on purpose through internet slang.  I highly doubt Michael was using leetspeak, so it boggles my mind how he didn't spell-check his email. Or... maybe he did.
3. "1st come 1st served" should really be typed out.  It's a cliché phrase, not a statistical quote.  This is an official company email, MmmBop.  Please take the time to write the word "first."
4. The games rotate weekly between 7 and 8pm?  No they don't.  Game nights always start at 7pm.  Individual team's kickoffs will be one or the other... but even that isn't evenly rotated.  Plus, it's looking like WAKA can fit the entire league into one time-slot.
5. While this isn't a grammatical error, I'm very curious as to what falls under "lots more."  How about medals for field set up?  Considering that Bull, Souder and I set up almost EVERY field weeks 1-7 last year, I want that damn medal I was promised.
6. Put the period AFTER the parentheses.
7. You sure as Hell can switch your teams after registration.  It happens all the time, every season.  And WAKA really shouldn't be in the business of making strict rules these days.
8. Souder already touched up on the horrible sentence about MacDinton's and the ridiculous number of times "home" is used.  But listen up, WAKA people.  MacD's offers $1 Miller Lites to ANYONE who walks in the door on Thursday.  It is NOT a special for WAKA players.  Any other kickball league can head to that bar and annoy the shit out of you one dollar at a time.  Coincidentally, GoKickball has already gotten a $1 beer special offer from another SoHo bar on Thursdays.  In one week of sponsorship discussions, it's painfully obvious to me how little effort our WAKA reps put into finding us the best deal possible.
9. I'm assuming "circumstances beyond our control" refers to lightning strikes, which will probably shorten the WAKA season to 5 games. 
10. I still love how WAKA now puts the "remove me" option at the end of their emails.  Since when has that ever been an issue?  Hopefully all of you see how an organized group can force change just by holding our vendors responsible.  Using their services is our right, and their privilege.  Bullying and taking customers for granted should never be rewarded.

Brie pointed out to me this morning that when she was hired on as Breaker's rep, MLoop always stressed to proof-read each email carefully (due to the number of recipients).  Yet the emails from Michael and Erik are nothing but laughable.  Get your shit together, WAKA.  Remember how popular and widely used AOL was? Or Myspace?

I had a decent conversation with Jonathan Korb three weeks ago, and Alison talked to him last week about her banishment.  I'll do an analysis of that later if anyone is interested, but currently I'm spending my designated kickball time volunteering for the new league.  So if anyone has concerns or questions, let me know.

Name Contest

So the latest rumor is that Dollar Wells is breaking up, so Caruso is planning on forming a new team in GoKickball.  But he needs a team name.  So let's help him out.   The winner will be entered in the "free drinks" sweepstakes.

But so will everyone else.

Because Caruso averages buying 5 drinks a night due to shitty picks.

Help this man buy you drinks.

Who's Next?

Can anyone replace The Herb?

Over/Under 5.5 days until he is back?

***************************************

Update: This is called a hyperlink. They're fun.

DPT - Winter/Spring 2011 Kickball

GoKickball registration is open, and an email has been sent out to those who've asked to be on the distribution list.  If you want to play and don't have the email, please let me know.

Location is now the Doc Nance baseball field at 3100 N. Ola Ave., Tampa, FL 33603. The sponsor bar will be determined in the next two weeks based on feedback from those of you who join.  The season will start Feb 10th, and will run eight weeks with a tournament on a Saturday.  Cost is only $50, with NO additional charge for parking.  You'll need the promo code for the $50 rate, so email me or DPT if you'd like it.  The GoKickball Tampa manager is not a douchebag. 

DPT proudly endorses both GoKickball and Kickball Society in the Tampa area.  Both are locally run leagues, where you can literally discuss all issues with the league owners/managers.  There are pros and cons to both leagues, and they will definitely be a change from what we're used to.  But regardless how the immediate Winter/Spring season plays out, at least we exercised our right to choose a better option.  And WAKA will definitely think twice about swinging the Ban Hammer the next time one of their leagues complains.

How about some MS Paint???

Created by Chris S.

Created by Jack - used in OC team email

WTH WAKA? WAGGDTGBAH?!?!

So someone must have a crush on me at WAKA (crosses fingers that it's Sarah Nelson) cause it seems no matter what I do I can't get banned. I've sent emails to WAKA Founders and talked all kinds of shit on the blog! What am I doing wrong?!?!  I bet you Geoff can still log in after making the Accuracy Kick game!  WAKA has no heart and no balls!  Send me a generic banishment email, MLoop (one syllable)!!

Oh Sarah... please "poke" me on FaceBook.  Love, Bull.  <3 <3 <3

GoKickball Update

GoKickball registration will open tonight at 6pm.  Before this happens I'll be sending an email out to everyone on my distribution list, and later I'll post details on the blog.

Thanks to everyone who has been patient with this whole kickball debacle.  DPT will continue to find (or create) better options for the entire group.  Regardless, it appears our Winter/Spring choices are finalized.

More to come in a few hours... after I do some actual work today.

**UPDATE**
The email with all the details and such will go out after 6pm tonight.  So all you people with ants in your pants just need to drink a beer and relax.

But they have Conjugal Visits, Right?

Right?

Schwack is wack

Don't Forget to Register...wait...

For an organization full of people who claim to rarely, if ever, read this fine interwebs publication, WAKA seems to know an awful lot about what is said on here. The possibility of our banned and boycott group beating a trail to GoKickball seems to have accuracy kicked them in the ass. I also received one of those emails today and what's the first thing I notice? A $10 discount for returning players. Now they may have planned to do this all along, but for my money (I hope they didn't hear that, they'll try to take it to pay for "parking" during the winter league on Wednesdays) they finally realized a lot of us were serious about getting the fuck out of WAKA and they're, gasp, trying to cultivate some customer loyalty. WAKA has never really been anything but the only choice for kickball anywhere close to the center of Tampa. They took it for granted that people wouldn't go looking for a better option if they eventually got fed up with the piss-poor customer service. First, there was "update #2", now it's an attempt to seem magnanimous when really, they're making a half-assed attempt to keep many of the people responsible for making Bayshore so popular in the past. They might have been fooled into thinking we weren't organized enough to coordinate a mass-exodus when they see MS paint pics and grown men making fun of high schools girls, but as soon as Mike and Chandler got the ball rolling with one of their competitors, they MLooped their pants. I don't want to opt out of these emails though. If I did, I'd miss gems like this...

"The Bayshore division is proud to call MacDintons home of the WAKA special $1 beers our home away from home again."

Grammar policing is a pretty common occurrence around here, and it usually has to do with Teneille's ongoing pie fight with which "your/you're" to use. But, it's more fun to pick on WAKA reps. I would suggest home that instead home of using the party home budget for parking home and buying MLoop home drinks at the home captain's meeting, they home buy a thesaurus and a home bag of commas.

Now, I have to get back to trying to win that damn accuracy kick game...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update 12/1: Yesterday I could still log in to my account on the WAKA website, today, not so much. I never replied to the email with "remove me", what else happened in the meantime?

"It's kickball time again"--Thanks but NO THANKS

For those of you who received an email from Erik @ WAKA today reminding you that registration is open for the winter 2011 bayshore league begining in Feb.
Remember that it is rude to ignore people so make sure to reply with "REMOVE ME" in the subject line and whatever personal thoughts you might like to share in the body. See my example to the right.

World Accuracy Kick Association Challenge*

Here's the scenario:

It's the championship game and your team is STILL tied 0-0 after two "Kansas City" extra-innings. Everyone on the field is tired, and your ex-division rep clearly doesn't want to be outside anymore. Only 84.852813 feet stand between you and W.A.K.A glory.


Do you have what it takes to play in the Breaker Division?




*created by Geoff

More WAKA Bullying

Want to know something funny?

GoKickball is one of WAKA's largest competitors in the national market.  Their website is www.gokickball.com.

Guess what I just stumbled upon?

WAKA registered the domain: www.gokickball.org!

Proof from WhoIs:

Domain ID:D155951849-LROR
Domain Name:GOKICKBALL.ORG
Created On:24-Apr-2009 17:07:33 UTC
Last Updated On:12-Apr-2010 10:10:18 UTC
Expiration Date:24-Apr-2011 17:07:33 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:Moniker Online Services Inc. (R145-LROR)
Status:CLIENT DELETE PROHIBITED
Status:CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED
Status:CLIENT UPDATE PROHIBITED
Registrant ID:MONIKER1936737
Registrant Name:WAKA Kickball
Registrant Street1:PO Box 1002
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Gainesville
Registrant State/Province:VIRGINIA

Oh... and DPT's visits from Arlington, VA continue to be quite high.  Arlington is the closest major city to Gainesville, VA, and our stat tracker lumps those together.

Shame on you WAKA.  This tactic completely violates standard business ethics.

**UPDATE** - You can read more about cybersquatting here. I'm not sure if this qualifies, but we'll research it some more later.

**UPDATE 2** - If you see me out this weekend, ask me about "update 2."

**UPDATE 3** - Since I stumbled upon WAKA's ownership of the www.gokickball.org address... it never occurred to me to broaden the search.  Sure enough... WAKA has registered www.gokickball.net and www.gokickball.info.  For shame!!

**UPDATE 4** - WAKA also owns the websites: www.wakasucks.com and www.kickballsucks.com.  Foreshadowing, perhaps?

TMZ Catches Korb Corrupting PAL!!!!

Photo taken at the scene of the underhanded event, at which he also presumably banned several freedom-loving Bayshore kickballers for loving freedom, beer, kickball, and freedom.

Winter 2011 Kickball Options

I sent out an email to some people regarding the details of our kickball options.  If you didn't get it, more than likely it was just a huge oversight* on my part as I raced through my phone contact list.  Just ask and I'll forward it to you.

My inbox is blowing up with responses, which is good... but Smithkey correctly suggested we need public comments.   Please discuss:

• WAKA - Take a massive dump on freedom and return to PAL for $72 + parking (paid for by your party budget).
• Kickball Society - $55 if you sign up by midnight Wednesday (technically Thursday). $59 for a week or so after that.  $65 after that period.  Play up in Temple Terrace, which is a decent and established league.
• GorecKickball** - $50 for ex-WAKA members, no deadline on that price.  Field is actually in South Tampa.  League is very small and customizable.  If it sucks, we either help make it better or return from whence we came.  Here's a link to what this league looks like.

*There is the slight chance that I fucking hate you and wish you bodily harm.  :)
**The league is not actually called this.  I'm just busting Gorecki's old-man balls.  www.gokickball.com/tampa

List of Bayshore movement.  Please comment or email me so this is accurate.

Hold the Phone

There have been some new developments tonight in the world of kickball.  We're talking last minute shit, and we might just have a suitable solution for everyone after all.  An official announcement will come on Wednesday afternoon.  Do not make any plans until then.

Oh...

DPT Turkey Bowl 2010!

For any of the guys I missed on the facebook invite, Im trying to put together a football game Saturday morning at 9:30 at the fields down on Davis Island. I know it's something a few of us have been talking about for a while now, so lets make it happen!!!

WAKA Strikes Back

So WAKA flexed their muscle and decided to monopolize the "South Tampa" kickball market.  As many of you know, there have been a couple of people working diligently with Kickball Society to give us another option a little closer than Temple Terrace.  Here is a time line of events:

• November 1st (Monday) - Michael Luppowitz, speaking on behalf of WAKA, sends out his first direct correspondence ever to Bayshore Division individuals.  Ironically, he decided to begin this inaugural dialog by saying we were banned from the league.
• November 4th (Thursday) - The director of PAL returns from partying with the San Francisco Giants (his son, or something, is on the team).  He returns to countless emails from Kickball Society, who is interested in playing two to three leagues in 2011 on Wednesday nights.
• November 5th-9th - PAL and Kickball Society discuss potential dates for 2011.  There's a lot of effort put into shifting schedules around PAL's youth soccer and football leagues.  KBS feels the general idea is worked out and mulls over the risk of investment.  In all honesty, I think they doubted a bit too much during this time how many of us are willing to give WAKA the finger and switch leagues.
• November 10th (Wednesday) - The director of PAL (Phil) calls WAKA and tells them Kickball Society is attempting to sign up on Wednesdays.  When asked why he did that, Phil replied: "They are a loyal customer so I wanted them to know competition was moving in.  Maybe you guys can have inter-league play."
• November 12th (Friday) - PAL finally sends KBS a contract for Wednesday nights... however due to "computer issues" they only had a template so the official contract was scheduled to be hammered out and signed the following Monday.
• November 13th (Saturday) - Jonathan Korb and Michael Luppowitz show up at the Breaker Division tournament.  Korb meets with PAL and says they want to have a Wednesday night league in 2011.  Tyrus Gordon then goes on to ruin kickball as we know it by allowing the championship game to be decided by an Accuracy Kick.
• November 15th (Monday) - On the day KBS was set to sign a contract, Phil from PAL informs them that WAKA has enacted a clause from their Big Guava league (Summer 2010 on Wednesday) which says they get first choice of Wednesday nights.  This is very confusing for two reasons: 1) PAL NEVER mentioned this clause during the previous two weeks 2) Big Guava was in the summer, not the winter or fall.  So it makes no sense as to why they have first right for the entire calendar year.  This is nothing more than sketchy on PAL's part.
• November 18th (Thursday) - WAKA was supposed to finalize with PAL what Wednesday nights they wanted.  Initially, they requested a time during youth soccer.  PAL had promised KBS this would be resolved, but continues to give WAKA extra time in deciding.
• November 19th (Friday) - PAL informs KBS that WAKA has reserved Wednesday nights starting January 16th, and again on June 14th.  This means in the winter season, WAKA will have PAL for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights at the same time.

Well played, WAKA... you pissed on our parade and stopped KBS from playing at PAL in 2011.

Despite the lies that have been told to us in the past, Breaker on Tuesday does not sell out.  This past season they had only ten teams... so there's really no chance for WAKA to make a "standard" profit on Wednesday nights.  They just didn't want KBS to move in, and PAL bent over backwards to accommodate their wish.

PAL has since been informed that we will no longer donate the Leif Nissen golf charity money to their organization, due to their involvement with WAKA.  This totaled $1,373 this year and should continue to grow as we add more teams.  Every year we hold this tournament, I will send PAL an email detailing for them how much money we are giving to a more deserving organization.

So now what?  It's far too late to find a South Tampa option for Winter 2011.  I'm talking to another kickball league tonight, but as of now it's just going to be an initial discussion of our groups needs.

Kickball Society has moved their Temple Terrace league to Thursday nights, in hopes of getting our members to sign up.  Historically, they do not have a season party like we're used to...  But they will have one this year (although rates are increasing to make this happen).  Starting tonight through THIS Wednesday, sign-ups will be $55.   November 25th - Dec 4th, sign-ups will cost $59.  After Dec 4th, it'll be $65 to play in Kickball Society.  I've been told that you can just sign up and put "DPT" or something as your team... and rosters will be shuffled once there is a good idea who's playing.

The members of this blog have nothing to do with Kickball Society's offerings.  We've done our best to show them that we're a large group fed up with our current league.  Undoubtedly, what they currently have is not good enough for many of our friends who live in St. Pete or South Tampa.  In the meantime, WAKA is banking on their monopoly strategy.  MLoop bragged to Brie before the start of last season that players threaten to quit every year, yet they always return.  We need to start holding these people to a higher standard.  We're the customers, and somehow we're getting pushed around and lied to.

If you know for sure you're going to play in KBS this winter, leave a comment.  If there is a need for DPT to host roster spreadsheets to help teams form, we'll gladly do that.  I apologize that this news isn't "best case," but I assure you we'll keep working on improving our situation.

Trivia Update

This week's trivia team name: "Accuracy Kick MLoop in the Korbs." They didn't win, but still managed to drink their weight in free beer from previous weeks winnings.

No actual updates about DPT's kickball future yet. Too many loose ends. But I hope soon that will change. Hope you all are having a nice week, and I'll see most of you this weekend at various events. If not... you're doing it wrong.

The One Where They Decided A Championship With An "Accuracy Challenge"

Happy Monday Ladies and Gents,

I think I may have a bit of a treat for you this morning. Lots of interesting things came out of the WAKA Breaker Fall 2010 Tournament on Saturday. None of these were more interesting than a very candid chat I had with Jonathan Korb from WAKA's Corporate Office.

Where shall I begin??? Well, my team "Multiple Scorgasms" was the number 8 seed going into the tournament. As you may know, Breaker only has 10 teams in the league. We had a "play in" game vs. the number nine seed to determine who would play the much hated Seminoles. After a 6th inning rally, my team came back to tie "Booze on First". Clearly ignoring directives sent down from God, we chose to play Kansas City rules. After the 8th inning, we were still tied. This is when the first round of excitement began. Ty & Erik informed us we would have to have an accuracy kick-off to decide a winner at this point. After the other captain and I discussed several options, including a fight to the death, a 5K, a team chug off, a game of Dungeons and Dragons and a tricycle race, we decided to play flip cup for the right to move on. I assembled a squad that would rival any team from the Ligers, Ballics, TBN, etc. (insert booing and animosity here) and then went to have a chat with Mr. Korb. While my team was quickly disposing of the amateur squad, I expressed my displeasure with this type of a format and that this would never fly in the Founders Cup. Mr. Korb assured me that this would only happen in the first and second rounds, and that much like the Founders Cup, our championship would be decided on the kickball field.

As we moved on to face the Seminoles, it was brought to our attention that they were using a roster filled with impostors due to the fact that almost all of their registered girls were in Tally for the FSU game. My team, much to my dismay, wanted to go "douche move" and challenge their roster. We did...Korb and MLoop ran the roster checks...told us everyone checked out...although they didn't and I have proof of that...and we played. My team fell apart in one inning, we looked a bit like Team Fab, and we lost 5-2.

So after we lost to the Seminoles, there was some downtime before the semifinals began. In fact, about 30 minutes went by between the conclusion of the quarterfinals and the beginning of the semifinals. Now, if only that time had been preserved, perhaps we would have gotten a real winner in the end of the tourney, instead of an accuracy champion. However, Miss Nevada used this time to discuss the shenanigans of late with Korb. I should have tape recorded it, but I failed in this department. Highlights are as follows:

1)Mr. Korb insists that he has only looked at the blog twice, ever. The first time was after the hit-and-run incident with a former league rep (I apologize, I don’t have her name) and the second time was when Kegger told him to check out the cooler game video this season. He admitted that he and MLoop both laughed at this video.

2)Mr. Korb admits that WAKA could have handled all of these things better, but both he and MLoop insist that the blog is not the reason for anyone’s dismissal. For the record, Korb doesn’t like the word “banned”.

3)When asked what the reasons for dismissal were since they weren’t stemming from the blog, I got the standard “well, we can only discuss that with the individuals in question.” However MLoop’s take on the situation was “if you’re going to bitch and complain about things in our policies that we aren’t willing to fix, than you just shouldn’t play here anymore.”

4)When I brought up the issue of the parking and the budget, I was assured that our parking was not paid for out of the party budget. Instead, the reason our party budget was so much lower this season is because in all previous seasons we had a lot of money rolled over from season to season, so we had a bigger opening balance and this accounts for the money at our parties. Also, Korb said that they were tired of walking into places and throwing their wallet on the table and saying “here, take this, what do we get” and instead WAKA would rather negotiate before hand without releasing total budget amounts to get a better deal. I would tend to agree with part of this logic, but I don’t agree with the disappearing money aspect.

5)Korb insists that not a single banned member has emailed him. He would have responded and would certainly remember them. Korb welcomes any and all player emails, especially from those players who have concerns about the validity of their ban.

6)Korb has had a conversation with one banned member though. Per Korb, he, MLoop and Jenn V. had a conversation about the issues and she has been reinstated. When asked if it had anything to do with the fact that she was the only who had retained counsel, Korb assured me he had never heard from a lawyer or knew of her representation.

7)I then began to discuss my lack of understanding of how someone such as Alison who helped to plan fundraising events, went to Vegas to support this organization and had never said anything directly negative about WAKA (at least not on the blog) had caught the wrath of the ban hammer. Was it because she was dating Chan Chan? Were the DC hipsters upset about her choice of representation in Vegas? Did they feel left out because they’d never had the pleasure of her jello shots? No answers…

8)We discussed that the very people they banned were the heart and soul of WAKA Bayshore and that the reason they spoke up is because they actually cared. He didn’t disagree.

9)He admitted that they should have handled this entire process differently and that MLoop had certainly made some mistakes during this process. “But we all make mistakes and we can only improve in the future”…so to you banned people, they messed up but don’t expect an apology.

10)I mentioned that a league wide email from someone with a brain at the corporate office might go a long way towards clarifying concerns and easing tensions. Korb indicated he had contemplated such a venture, but had not done so to date.

11)When I asked him if he was concerned about the impending revenue loss, he responded that he was of course concerned by a loss of revenue, but that he didn’t think the hit would be as significant as the blog has made it out to be. (wait, wasn’t the ban/boycott list and revenue calculations started after the cooler video was put up?)

12)There were some other rumblings, mostly from my stomach because I forgot to bring a sammich…Korb disappeared before the quarterfinals started, and MLoop left shortly thereafter. Chandler, if I left anything out from this synopsis that I told you on Saturday, feel free to fill it in…I blame the Andre.

So now that the Korb/MLoop Chronicles were finished for the day, let’s get down to that historic championship game, shall we?

After 6 offensively charged innings (0-0 tie) we were forced into extra innings. Kansas City rules came into effect and let me tell you, the offensive futility continued. I was busy eating spiked Watermelon put together by Jaime’s own Masterbatters team…her team is actually pretty cool and she seemed far more laid back. Despite providing a scouting report to the green team as I had umpired the semifinal game for the pink team, they still managed to not do anything to push a winning run across. So after 8 innings of fun and excitement, Ty broke the news that this game was going to a kickoff. Allegedly, the captains met before the 8th inning began to discuss what would happen if the game was still tied. Queue the video…

This video was taken from my phone, so the quality isn't great and I was a bit intoxicated by this point




bumped by bull...way too much great info to be buried below two silly posts

You guys going??

What's wrong with this Poster??

Proceeds to benefit Waka and PAL?? How does that work?? And the Pub Crawl is at MacDinton's? How is that a Pub Crawl and who is organizing this? Care to let us know Waka Powers that lurk our blog?? And what kind of Costume are you supposed to wear for Thanksgiving?

"Courage"

Since these lovely ladies are of the chubby catholic variety, they probably were too busy thinking about getting drunk and giving Melvins, to concentrate on the impending hurdles.

Ruben's Christmas Card 2010

In the midst of all this hate on the blog, thought I'd share some early Christmas joy with everyone.
For those of you who attended the party at our house this past Saturday, you were lucky enough to see this live. For the rest of you, here's an early Christmas card to you all from Ruben (or so he proclaims at the end). It's what happens when you mix Ruben + rum + our new hardwood floors. Enjoy.

The OC is Coming With You

Hello all. Do you like how that title can be read in a couple ways? I do.

Many of you know me as Jack from Off Constantly, and many of you know me personally as J.W. I've played 5 seasons of Bayshore Division kickball and dominated the only season of Big Guava kickball. I love kickball. Some folks think it's an ironic thing: adults playing a child's game. I think it's my favorite day of the week, where I get to hang out with dozens of friends, hundreds of acquaintences and well-wishers (in that they don't wish me any specific harm), run around a little bit, have a couple (or several) beers, and get the competitive juices flowing.

In my time as a loyal WAKA customer, I've recruited, directly or indirectly, at least 20 folks to sign up, and many of them have in turn become loyal WAKA customers. If this was Amway, I'd be doing pretty well for myself. I was a part of building what is now everyone's favorite team, Off Constantly. I loved WAKA, the division, everything. Ty and Jaime, WAKA associates, are amongst my friends and have each played on Off Constantly at least one season.

And then WAKA went and dumped on my friends.

Now I'm not going to play with WAKA anymore.*

I met MLoop and I met Kegger, the two folks WAKA sent down to run the captain's meeting this last season. Why the hell Kegger was there other than to act like a dickhead, be obnoxious, and drink free beer, I don't know. I'd never met the guy and the first thing he does is insult my team. Thanks, guy, go smoke another bowl.

MLoop seemed like a decent enough guy, but his answers to our concerns left more than a little to be desired. Lightning? Apathy? Just let us play 10 games, or just tell us the real reason (insurance costs and need for more money for the national office to fund Keggers' free beer and all the levels of management and top notch customer service they have, I presume).

Now they're banning people for blog posts that are mostly jokes? Give me a break.

So, thanks Jaime and Ty for being good WAKA reps (to myself and the OC at least). Sorry you guys work for such a sorry entity. The OC is out.**

*Except maybe taking the summer team to Vegas, assuming they don't hit me with the ban hammer for this post.

**Can't say for sure whether or not the entire roster is out, but the majority and the official team are.

Just Felt Like Singing For You Guys

Since "Brooke Loves Yella's Karaoke Lyrics" and because I love this song, I guess inspiration hit me. The timing seems about right.

Cee Lo Green – "Forget You"

I see you kickballin' down at PAL Fields
It's the game I love
and I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
Oo, oo, oooooooo!

I guess my honest concerns about the league
Were just way too much
I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
And fuck MLoop too!

I said, if I was quieter, I’d still be with ya
Ha, now ain’t that some shit? (ain’t that some shit?)
And although there’s pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a…
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooo!

Yeah I’m sorry, I pointed out your service has gotten shotty,
But that don’t mean I can’t get you square.
I guess Kickball Society is an xbox and WAKA's more atari,
But the way you play your banning game just ain’t fair.

I pity the fool that pays $75 to you
Well...
(oh shit WAKA’s a gold digger)
(thought you should know fellow kickball niggaz)
Ooooooh
I’ve got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend, Ty

I see you kickballin' down at PAL Fields
It's the game I love
and I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooooo!

I guess my honest concerns about the league
Were just way too much
I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
And fuck MLoop too!

I said, if I was quieter, I’d still be with ya
Ha, now ain’t that some shit? (ain’t that some shit?)
And although there’s pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a…
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooo!



Here's the video to the full version. Warning, NSFW.

One Week Later

So it's been a full week since WAKA started swinging the Ban Hammer and crushing fools in the Bayshore Division. So what's new?

• DPT called for a boycott, and so far 20% of Fall 2010 registered players have pledged to never play for WAKA again. Add to that three team captains who have told me they are willing to get their teams to leave. This is quite amazing since we haven't even announced details on a new place to call home. Speaking of...
• Plans for a new home are in the works.  Please keep in mind that WAKA locks up fields a year in advance... whereas our people are scrambling to get something official in two weeks time.  I think we'll be able to speak more about this later in the week, and I think most people will be happy with the outcome.
• To my knowledge, four of the five people banned have not heard ANYTHING from WAKA since the infamous MLoop letter.  Johnathan Korb, the Director of Customer Service, has responded to emails sent by members of our league.  Thankfully, he's said in a few of those responses that the blog wasn't really a factor in the bans.  This revelation would be a huge victory for Freedom of Speech if only he were able to offer up another explanation.  So far, he's hiding behind "privacy concerns."  That is also an acceptable excuse... but it implies he would be willing to tell us banned people what happened.  Sounds like it's "Open Letter to Johnathan time!"
  
  "Dear Johnathan... you have my email address.  Please let me know what WAKA policy I violated, what altercation I was a part of, or how I failed to adhere to your published rules of kickball.  Considering that I was told by both Tyrus and Jaime (both WAKA contractors) that a banned list existed due to comments on the blog, I can only assume that you are a liar.  I know of at least two other people who heard the same thing from those contractors.  So please, correct my ignorance.  Thanks in advance."

• One of the five banned people has had conversations with WAKA.  I hope that person comes forward and tells their story.
• Finally, it was quite cold this weekend.  Gorecki did a horrible job estimating the amount of firewood needed to keep his guests comfortable.  Thankfully, Bull came to the rescue:

Have a good week.

Suck it WAKA

The District of Columbia is Watching

Here is a chart of how many visits we've gotten from the DC & Arlington area, per day, since September 1st.  Thankfully, WAKA has made it clear in a few emails that the blog had nothing to do with the banning of it's contributors.  So they must be visiting to share the laughs.

We have always maintained that anyone can contribute to this community.  Thus, if any WAKA employees out there would like posting rights, please send a request to donkeynoms@gmail.com.  We would love to have you submit haikus during the next MLoop Appreciation Week.  Thanks in advance.

My email and Mloops response

Dear Mloop,
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Washington and find those Waka fucks who are making these bans, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfucks are next.

Love,
Sean & Silent Rollo.



Mloops response

Who's the biatch now? Suck it bayshore.

My contact with WAKA

Below is my email to WAKA and their response:

To whom it may concern,

I’ve been a WAKA player for 10 seasons now and I must say I enjoy the game of kickball as well as the company of the friends I’ve made while doing so. I know you’ve received other emails from the FL-Bayshore division already, but I’d like to let you know my letter is not one of complaint but one of inquisition.

I understand your right as a private company to remove anyone from playing under your umbrella that you choose. But can you please offer me an explanation as to why each of these individuals has been banned from play? I just want to make sure for myself that these players weren’t banned from WAKA for just voicing their opinions. After all, the adage goes “the squeaky wheel gets the oil” not “the squeaky wheel gets removed and we’ll just ride around with one less wheel”, right? I’m sure there’s a perfectly sound reason to remove these individuals; so if you could just forward me a breakdown, that would be great.

Also, there’s a “List of grievances” located online outlining the complaints/questions raised by our division that weren’t met with any sort of resolution; I’ve attached a pie chart (fig. 1-A) illustrating the customer service received by us as a whole. So I’d also like to ask that someone up there in big WAKA HQ take the time to explain to me why these issues weren’t addressed by the people you placed in charge of addressing such issues (i.e. Division Rep, Customer Service Rep, those in charge of “banning”)

Finally, I’d like to thank you for your time in answering my questions and finally clearing the air about this whole debacle. I know how important customer feedback in to a company that reaches so many individuals so let me remind you that the easiest way to keep players coming back and the money rolling in is to just be open and honest with them. Which is all we here in the FL-Bayshore division have been after since the beginning. I’ve also included a customer service graph(Fig.2-B) as a visual aid.

I hope while reading this you take my visual aids in jest and my email to heart. Have a great day & I look forward to your response.

Geoff Leighly

Loyal Waka Customer

******************

Geoff,

Thanks for your e-mail. A bigger thanks for playing 10 seasons! Due to privacy issues we can’t discuss any individual player issues. I am sure you can understand the reason behind that concern. However, to clear up one issue we are more than open to discuss any and all ideas to make WAKA Kickball better. I have also made sure to always keep a “virtual” open door policy to any ideas that would make our player’s experience better. In the near future I plan to visit the Tampa area and would be glad to chat about your concerns.

Thank you,

Jonathan Korb

Director Customer Service

WAKA Kickball

The World Adult Kickball Association

Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends.

KICKBALL.COM

You have to give it to him... at least HE replied to all of us. Where are the other people we emailed?

Get on Down the Road

Ruben Kajkowski aka “RÜBS”

The Glo in Soul Glo

Best pitcher in the league

All-star third baseman

12 seasons, season 2-13

final 6 seasons as captain

57 wins in six seasons

possibly a team history 100 wins, division history is incomplete

14-0 undefeated season, last 10 count regular season before you took away 2 games

3 division titles

3 tournament titles

3 flip cup titles

1 crystal pitcher

5 BeerJam belts

help banned munting

2 week suspension for my “words”

2 players banned from the league

numerous personal donations to the board to raise extra money for PAL

my stats ON the field are mirrored by my stats OFF the field

HENCE, the first rule of bayshore kickball is named after me

i.e. I piss excellence

SOOOO Glad our comments on the blog do not impact the decision making to ban players because Jonathan Korb, Director of Customer Service you really lived up to your name. You have certainly directed your customers to seek services elsewhere. And since WAKA has up held freedom of speech, i can say your customer service is shit. so that would make you the director of shit. and what is the gateway of shit? the sphincter or asshole which when you do your job apparently makes a sound, "mloop." >enter Team America where we are dicks and they are…>

- see kids, that is satire and good clean fun. but of course no one is reading this but my bayshore cohorts but i will go on because i feel it will be better for the division...um, blog.

now all these moves have been made to "better" the division. Funny, as one of the longest registered customers, i was NEVER asked if banning these players is better for MY division.

Let’s see.

banning a national tournament certified ref and field sheriff - NO. I find that to be a great asset. I recall over several seasons seeking out Nate to clarify rules

banning two ladies who helped organize the best party in my 12 seasons that raised the most money for our local charity - NO. Again a great asset to the league and more so to the charity who saw their county budget cut and greatly appreciated the additional revenue created.

banning the captain of one of my rival opponents who keeps the team legacy alive of a person we lost two years ago. - NO. He too is an asset as he bridges the bayshore community from seeing each other 20, oh yeah NOW 16 times a year into an everyday blog or weekly gathering.

banning my co captain of 12 seasons - NO. If i have to explain the value of 6 year customer who has advertised and recruited for you for free, well you are either stupid or dont give a shit. my guess is both.

I think if you do your job correctly, you will find that my opinion is mirrored by the league and NOT by your decision. This is completely a personal attack on our league, our friends and the business WE grew for you here in Tampa.

A few years ago, WAKA censored a picture that was posted on our division webpage. That spawned this blog. A communal tool that is head and shoulders above ANYTHING you do or other divisions do. It’s to a point you cant manage so you banned players and are possibly facing a mass exodus. Do you really want to challenge the same people who kicked your ass with a website to go play and grow another league in OUR backyard?!?!?!?

The truth of the matter is YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US and so,

My team, MY ENTIRE TEAM, ToeJammers aka Soul Glo will not be registering for another WAKA season. And as such, all recruiting and advertising I and we have done for WAKA is over.

You have a marketing person. I saw an email from her posted. Perhaps she should right the ship and explain how it is nearly 10 times as expensive to produce a new customer than it is to retain a customer and that a negative customer on average will cost a business anywhere from 3 to 6 potentials customers.

I gotta tell you, I find it completely hilarious that you banned these people. You literally had people, while complaining STILL using your product. You were winning. You couldnt give the league two more weeks? Or maybe just keep the 8 weeks and make one night a month per team a double header. So many options and you ban players. Fired the customer. How moronic.

Wow, maybe I will take back the satirical tone earlier, you might be assholes after all.

-RÜBS

Trivia

Hey MLoop... we got first place in trivia tonight. This win is for you, big boy.

Love,
Chandler, Stephanie, Chris, Gorecki, Brie, April (tall), Angie, Jared and Karen.
(aka: "Turds Go MLOOP")

Kickballers 4 The Cure

Kickballers 4 The Cure

Help the children of St. Jude in the Give thanks walk for the cure 5k on November 20th 2010.
If any of you are interested in joining or donating that would be cool...allegedly

WAKA Responds... Kinda

Today we got a few responses from WAKA... sort of.  Stephanie and Chris both sent emails to various WAKA employees, and you can read Chris' in his post yesterday.

Johnathan Korb sent them pretty much the exact same response (with a few tweaks).  In Stephanie's reply, he added: "Your team was a lot of fun in Vegas this past year and I hope you will return in 2011."

In the reply sent to Chris, he references this blog:
----------------

Chris,

Thank you for your e-mail. 

We are always open to  feedback that will help make the WAKA kickball experience better for all of our players.  The fact you took the time to send us an e-mail with your concerns speaks great volumes on your overall concern for WAKA Kickball.  I will continue to closely monitor the FL Bayshore division to make sure we continue to listen to the players and hear out their concerns.

Due to several concerns over the past year we have decided to ask a few players not come back to play in any WAKA divisions.  The blog you mention really had nothing to do with the decision as there were other circumstances that led to this decision. By no means was it an easy decision for WAKA to make but it was one that we felt would be better for the division.

Thank you again for taking the time and for playing WAKA Kickball.

Thank you,

Jonathan Korb

Director Customer Service

WAKA Kickball

The World Adult Kickball Association 

----------------

Well there you have it.  Posting on DPT had "nothing to do with the decision."  So... what did?  How the Hell did they even know who to ban?  Was it just coincidence that they kicked out 4 people who have complained and 1 person who happens to date me?  And if there were "other circumstances," why haven't they told anyone what those circumstances consist of?

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid WAKA thinks we are.  Kind of like that time they told us we couldn't play 10 game seasons due to fear of lighting strikes in the summer. If they just came out and said they wanted to increase their profit margins by cutting the cost of field rental, we would at least respect their honesty.

You can read more about that as we continue to compile our list of grievances here.

In any case, those of you who do not participate in the boycott can sleep easy.  WAKA has pledged to "closely monitor" the Bayshore Division and "continue to listen to the players and hear out their concerns."  Because... they've done such a great job doing those things in the past.

Boycotts and Rabble-Rousing

I know most of you, like me, have decided to boycott WAKA in the future. While it's great to let everyone who reads the blog know this, I think it's even better to let other people with positions of power in WAKA know your concerns. This is the email I sent to hr@kickball.com, as well as a few other WAKA employee email addresses I came across.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Whom It May Concern,

I am aware that many, if not all of you have received emails about this issue already, but I wanted to have my concerns on the record. Normally I would have contacted my division representatives, but, as you may have heard, that is no longer a viable option.

I have been a member of the FL Bayshore division since I moved to Florida in July of 2008. Through this division I have made a great many friends, some of whom I count among my closest and most important. Until yesterday I remained an active and loyal member of the division. I have been a team captain and I was even a certified referee at this year's Founder's Cup tournament. But, as of now I will no longer be registering for any WAKA events in the future.

Several of my friends in the league have been banned from registering for/being a spectator at any WAKA event. The main reason for this, it seems, is that they chose to voice their concerns about our league on our division blog. This blog is not affiliated with WAKA, in that, it is hosted, maintained and contributed to privately by members of the division. When it became apparent that this blog was causing problems with our regional representative, Michael (MLoop), one of our members, a friend and teammate of mine, chose to reach out to him with a thoughtful and polite email. In this email he attempted to open a line of communication so these issues could be discussed and hopefully resolved. Five days later, he and four other members of the division were sent curt and dismissive form emails informing them that they were banned with no reasons given.

As it states in email signature, Michael is the Florida Regional Customer Service Manager. The job description for a customer service representative on the kickball.com website states that "WAKA Customer Service Representatives are the "face" of their WAKA division and are primarily responsible to provide players with a great WAKA kickball experience". When presented with our concerns and approached about opening a line of communication, our customer service manager shirked these responsibilities and resorted to refusing service.

There is one line in Michael's banishment emails that troubles me. He states, "WAKA is aware of you dissatisfaction with the FL Bayshore division". The truth is, in fact, the exact opposite. We as a group are passionate about our division and want it to be the best possible kickball experience it can. When communication with our representatives breaks down and we have no reliable resources for answers, we become dissatisfied with our representatives, not the division.

When I was in Vegas for the Founder's Cup I had great interactions with everyone I met from WAKA. Everyone I came into contact with was thoughtful, considerate, and kind. While it is not something I would have chosen to do before yesterday, I plan to take my kickball business elsewhere. WAKA is not the only kickball league in Tampa, and I believe WAKA is going to lose a number of loyal customers.

Thank you for your time,

Chris Souder