GKB Spring 2012 Crystal Pitcher

The people have spoken, and the most fun team this season was Jacked Up! We had a record number of votes cast, with about 68% of the entire league voting. I'm guessing that's about 90% of the people who played on Saturday. And the results weren't close.

Mmmm... data.

Jacked Up probably won the league's affection with their nice personalities. But if anyone saw them Week 11 and at the tournament, it was well deserved. The slip-n-slide game with the Alcoballics was a lot of fun to watch... and after losing their first round game on Saturday they stuck around to play dizzy bat and flip-cup for most of the day. They might surprise some of the league's elite at flip-cup at next weeks' party. And they'll definitely challenge the Growlers at drunkenness.

Other notes of interest:

• The Shockers received zero votes, which gives them one vote over the past two seasons. I find this a bit surprising since D-10 throws a bunch of good parties throughout the year. Grimace can't get any love.
• The Growlers went from 12th place last season (zero votes) to 3rd this season (20 votes). They dominated the bar most weeks, and it's nice to see the league acknowledge it.
• The Crystal Pitcher winner almost always gets the complete backing from a few teams. This season, Jacked Up basically got every vote from YLLINaD and the ToeJammers.
• YLLINaD also didn't fare too well in the voting, which was probably due to sporadic bar appearances. But if Talia wore those shorts to more games, the greenies would have won unanimously.
• Stoney's after the tournament was off the chain. Anyone reading this who didn't attend really missed out on some fun times. The turnout was great too!

I don't really have an update for the actual tournament since I kinda got drunk and wasn't paying attention. I think that yellow team won again.

Playoff Bracket!

Here's the bracket for the tournament on Saturday.  Show up early!  Set up tents and grills under the oak trees.  Get drunk!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub?key=0Aptj-DBFO3vwdHp4eWpyWGNEbjV0NHFEUTk4eHBpZmc&single=true&gid=0&output=html

Picks - Week 11

Last chance to pad your stats. But you still won't catch Frank.

Closed 

Chandler, Todd - Here's your common ground!

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Your Answers

A special early morning post from the Commish.

Hey guys! Thank you for all the insightful questions posted via my "Ask the Commish" column. I will do my best to do it justice (sips cup of coffee spiked with Irish Rose).

@Yella- The Beer Jam Belt, one of the most esteemed trophies in local kickball lore, is a hard award to give up. Perhaps in anticipation of losing Nate crack flossed it. Spray Simply Green or Fabuloso and wipe. Maybe a little Fabreeze. It will be as good as new.  

@Smooty- The miracle of life can come in many forms. In many cases, it comes down to bourbon and bad decision making. Just sayin.

@Fat Kid- Going to my mom's house tonight for dinner, so whatever she's making.

@Jess- The reason I love Cookies n' Cream pudding shots so much is because it taste like the smooth, creamy ice cream version that I love with the sharp kick in the face of cake vodka. I plan on eating 20 of them on Saturday, then passing out at Stoney's. Looking forward to new flavors as well   ;  )

@Hot Tub Party Todd (aka Hand Job, aka the league's best calves)- There's no reason to believe you couldn't. I'm fine with it. If it turns out you can't, I'll let you know beforehand.

Ladies!!!! If yo man ever sells you to make em a sammich again...

Who you gunna call?

Summer Kickball

While many of us wily veterans cherish our off-season, there are a handful of people who enjoy playing kickball year round. Take Griff, for example, who plays 6 nights a week. On the 7th day, he rests while cuddling with his kickball.

As our season comes to a close this week, perhaps you shudder at the impending void on your calendar.

Well you could sign back up with WAKA, like Traitor Handjob Todd did (playing with the Shockers). Of course, that will cost you $73 for 8 weeks of Communism.

Or... you could join GKB for 7 weeks of shenanigans for only $30 (with the current player discount). Games are on Thursdays at our current location.

Hmm... which deal is better?

And don't think you need to sign up with your current team. Summer is a good opportunity to play with different people. Hell... Johnny talked me into joining his squad. And there's at least one WAKA team coming over, so maybe I'll find some future Ligers!

Anyway, if you're interested in playing you can't go wrong for $30. Just head on over to GOKickball and sign up. And email me or the blog (donkeynoms@gmail.com) for the discount code. If you need a team to play for, let me know that too.

Power Rankings - Week 11

Week 11?!?!?!? That shit is cray!

End of Season Party

The end of season party is scheduled for May 5th, at Wings Gone Wild (7pm).

Yes, that is "Cinco de Mayo." No, it's not actually Mexico's Independence Day. Most Mexicans don't even celebrate it. But luckily for your ignorant ass, you can join your GOKickball friends at a bar and get wasted anyway (for free).

As always, admission is free for current registered players. Guests are encouraged and will be charged $10 for an all-you-can-drink beer wristband. If you don't drink beer, there will be some reduced shot and drink specials.

We will also hold our season flip-cup tournament at 8pm. If your team would like to play, post a comment on this blog OR on the GKB Facebook page. Cost is $5 per person, six people per team. Single elimination. Best of 5 games, until the finals which is best of 7.

If you're going to attend, please RSVP on Facebook so the league can be sure to reserve enough kegs.

Week 10 Picks Results and Tournament Bar

The following people had perfect picks this week:

Christian, Todd, Dan, Matt R, Litman and Deeks.

They get one drink from these people who missed one:

Matt B, Chandler, Nate, Jess, Frank and Alison.

--------------------------------------

Since our fields are not near Rajun Cajun, I'm proposing we invade Stoney's. Looking at Google Street View... it's a fine specimen. Perfect for Banko games and sketchy locals. And it's very close to the fields.

T & A Green Corner Salutes Earth Day

Earth day falls on 4/22, which is appropriate due to the massive deforestation and carbon emissions that occur just a few days earlier on 4/20 (thanks Frank).

In the past 150 years, average atmospheric CO2 concentrations have climbed to ~400 ppm (this is beyond any calculable standard deviation from the ~200 – 300 ppm natural “cyclical” levels recorded for the past hundreds of thousands of years).

(Stick that in your smokestack, Bull)

To put that excursion into terms that DPT readers can appreciate, let’s compare the normal CO2 “cyclical” concentrations of 200 – 300 ppm to Party Paige’s normal BAC “cyclical” concentrations of 1.0 – 1.5 %.  400 ppm CO2 concentration is equivalent to Party Paige’s 2.0 % BAC on display for Chelsea Lately.  Holy crap.

Even more startling is the acidification of our oceans. The average pH of the oceans has dropped from ~8.3 to ~8.2.  When dealing with #s operating on orders of magnitude, as pH, that’s a big deal.  I will spare the details of the underlying water chemistry principles behind how CO2 is readily absorbed into water, but this irreparable damage cannot be undone.

(Shove that up your excel spreadsheet, Chandler)

 What can we do? One person can’t make a difference?  Bullshit, we’re all Americans (except for Juno, Jayda, Teneille…).  Car pool to kickball, Jacked Up girls will appreciate the ride.  Use CFL lighting.  Use a space heater and a sweater in the winter.  Rip off your shirt in the summer.

detail…  http://tampaelectric.com/residential/saveenergy/savingstips/
detail…   http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/howmuch.html

 Also, you can buy renewable energy from TECO, or install renewable energy.  TECO rebates & federal Tax credits make this not only economically viable, but also a sure investment with Europe hanging just above the toilet bowl. 

detail…  (quarterly, TECO will release applications for rebates on this page):  http://www.tampaelectric.com/environmental/renewableenergy/

If you believe in your existence for a few years, want to secure your energy needs for future decades at a fixed price, reduce CO2, and support American companies that manufacture quality renewable energy equipment… check it out.

(Fly that up your flagpole, Steve Westphal)

Since I’m on the soapbox,

Bottle water a bullshit snake-oil industry that didn’t even exist a generation ago.  Bottled water CEOs will even state that bottled water is no healthier than regular tap water (they can’t state otherwise due to legal repercussions of lying), and in some cases is just bottled tap water.  If you are concerned with removing trace amounts of industrial pollutants, pharmaceuticals, residual chlorination by-products and microorganisms from municipal water, buy an under-the-sink reverse osmosis (RO) system.  You can get these at Home Depot, or talk to me, I have one, I can get them via a work vendor for 1/3 cost, I can help you install it (1 hour).  It will give you free “good” water & pay for itself in a month & your coffee will be better than Starbucks.
(to quote the Beastie Boys, “This plastic stuff is out of control”, you may discredit my appeal for eco-awareness and supporting scientific facts, but no one discredits the Beastie Boys)

FOUND

A pair of women’s (or perhaps a certain type of man's) burberry sunglasses.  They were left on our table at Field 1.

Fun things I heard last night:

-Big, sleeveless, blonde dude from Shockers as he walked up to kick: “I’m gonna kick this to the solar system”

-Entire TBN squad as they had to witness Superman undies-clad Jammers: “I feel like we’re the ones who lost this bet”

-E-Flo after he bought basically the entire bar a shot of straight Jager (btw thanks...I think?): “I’m so fucking hammered”

PBC v Guys & Balls recap

The PBC girls proved once again that they will do what it takes to win. We needed every little drop of determination to finish off a rejuvinated Guys & Balls team. Ethel has been taking notes from the ToeJammers and showed up with some new recruits, but we took all they could handle and God's chosen team pulled off a 2-1 victory....I think, pretty sure that score is wrong.  

Both Alicia and Anne scored during the game.

Ask the Commish!

I'm back. After weeks of sitting back and reading about a vareity of controversies involving douchey pitching, forfeits and wilting team chemistry, I'm back to answer any and all questions.

You got a question, I've got an answer. My responses will come in post later today or tomorrow.

Sorry, I would have posted this sooner, but I just woke up.

Love

Johnny

Picks - Week 10

Best commentary gets a date with Jacked Up. The entire team.

Shits closed.

Tale of the Tape - Beer Jam edition

The belt is up for grabs tonight, folks!

DPT Translate

Introducing DPT Translate! Now you can understand all of your fellow kickballers in two easy steps:

Step 1: Select the language or kickballer (and applicable mode) you wish to translate.

Step 2: Type in their nonsense.

Never be left in the dark again! Communicate!

Todd's TOTT (Tale Of The Tape)

way better than watching whatever garbage was on TV tonight....

be THAT team!!!

Since my post regarding out FORCED forfeit last week, it happened, -send request for the gchat log to my FB- , I must say the surprising thing was the fact the league peer pressured the game into existence via a contrite FB post and blog update for the betters.

Hoping to yield that power with intent, I call on the ALLL-COO-BALLL-ICSS to do us a solid and once again BE THAT TEAM.

After rigorous negotiations, Jack Up, you know, the team with the hottest girls in the league, have agreed to a Wet T-Shirt contest themed game, no joke!

Also they asked me to inform the league gentlemen that 75% of the ladies rostered ARE IN FACT, SINGLE!!! In the "Bro Code," the most coveted rule, "Bros before Hoes," ladies of course I mean hoe in the lightest of vernacularand the heaviest onamonapia, I share this info. And quite frankly, I cannot do them all. Actually I could, odds are some of them will not like short, fat brown guys, slim odds BUT the odds are there so Bros have a go.

Anywho, 'Balics if you could make this happen all will be forgiven.

BE THAT TEAM!!!





Footnote: SB was not asked to execute said wet tshirt theme due to their history with water themed kickball games and the lack of understanding of what a water gun does.

------------------------------

DPT Translate:

"Even though Frank attempted to force the ToeJammers into a forfeit... social justice saved the day.

I now want to use 'social media' to pressure the Alcoballics into a Super Soaker theme next week against the hot Jacked Up girls.

I've spoken with Jacked Up, and they are willing to do the theme.

Turns out most of their hot girls are single. I'm going to try to fuck them all. The rest of the GKB guys can go after the ones who are racist.

Finally, the Alcoballics can repair their reputation if they make the Super Soaker game a reality next week.

Footnote: I still blame SuperBad for ruining the Super Soaker game last season."
------------------------------

Power Rankings - Week 10

 

2012 Alcoballics

Kyle's recent post was a hot topic of conversation during the DPT Golf League on Sunday. It seems the 'Ballics that we've loved for years aren't all on the same page. The consensus was not that they disagreed with his analysis, but that the team wished he kept his feelings "in house" during their weekly emails (which don't get nearly as many responses as they used to).

This relates to the "ebbs and flow" of kickball that I reference all the time. As the veteran teams get older, they struggle to accept a change to their identity.

I told the guys at golf they sounded like a dysfunctional reality TV family.

So I present to you:

Kickball with the Kardashoballics

Drama... just the way you like it. View the original pic here.

We are THAT Team

Listen guys, it's time that we just embrace this. We are THAT team. The Alcoballics are not the team they used to be, and there is nothing wrong with that. But we need to stop arguing for 15 minutes and then when we realize we've lost, end it by saying "we aren't that team."

For fucks sake people, we've had a guy thrown out of a game for threatenting to beat up another player and intimidating the ref. We're not that team though, right? We've heatedly argued in more than half of the games i've been at this season, and I've only been to 4! We arent that team though, right? When Duc left, when Geoff left, when the Borio's left, we became that team. We're not the most social team, we're not going to ever win a crystal pitcher again (or whatever it's being called now) and we're never going to be the team everyone looks forward to playing against anymore. It's cool, just embrace it. We want to win and we choose to argue when things don't go our way.

We used to get away with being hot headed from time to time because we were winning more games than we were losing and then we showed up in numbers at the bar...it's not happening anymore. I'm sure I'll offend some peeps, that's cool.

We are that team, we are that team, we are that team. Enjoy your weekend!

Long Dormant, Mount E-Flo Erupts

It was a wonderfully pleasant and serene evening on Field 2 last night.  The Growlers were in high spirits, frolicking around the field before gametime.  One of the Ballics’ girls was picking daisies along the sideline.  Birds were chirping in the oak trees behind home plate.   THEE Beer Nuts were having a picnic awaiting their 8:45 Beerlympics to begin.  The Superbad –Jammers game ended with a powwow around the pitchers mound.  The Hare Krishnas came and delivered a healthy dinner for everyone.  Everything was at peace in kickball world. Except for E-Flo.

Something seemed off about him. Rumor has it he was seen intentionally running over a family of ducklings on his way to the fields. At a party last weekend, he poured an entire bottle of Vodka down the sink and I’m pretty sure I saw him push someone’s grandmother out of the way as he walked up to the plate for the play that changed the game. He kicks the ball and runs to first base. There was a close call on whether he was safe or out.   As people were debating, E-Flo decided to drift so far away from first base, that he “looked like he was playing Right Center,” as one Beer Nut pointed out, and he got tagged out by a Growler (see diagram below).  That’s when it happened. For years, Mount E-Flo lay dormant until Thursday night, when he erupted.  The veins in his neck were popping out so big I thought he had gotten some sort of implants (no doubt a recommendation made by Hand Job after his calves turned out so nicely).  At one point he threw his hat on the field, Steve Spurrier-esq.  The language coming out of his mouth was so vile, every resident surrounding Desoto park had ear muffs on their children.

Both teams started arguing and before you knew it, an all out brawl ensued, led by Eric.  Smooty broke out ninja stars.  Alison busted out a gat. Someone had one of these: Hunga Munga.  Naturally, Deeks’ family joined in.  Finally, someone on the Ballics declared, “C’mon guys. We’re not that team.”  and everyone dropped their weapons and resumed play. 

Mount E-Flo continued to erupt for the remainder of the game, screaming obscenities and hitting women. He even got Alison in on the action, and she titty punched me at home plate while scoring a run.  She claims it was an accident but we all know better.  Afterwards at the bar, E-flo said that it had been a while since he had ‘gone off’.   I’m pretty sure he meant it’s been a while since he’s gotten off, thus resulting in his ridiculous outbursts.  Moral of the story: E-Flo needs to get laid. 

Week 9 Picks Results

Frank, Nate, Matt R. and Jess all missed one game.

ToeJammer Asshole Matt and Litman owe them one drink for missing three games.

Frank is going to win the picks AGAIN. I can feel it.

----------

Also... Tony thinks he left his sunglasses (in a case) at the fields last night. Did anyone find any?

Despite being held hostage, Superbad hangs on for win

Before everyone calls us douchey for "forcing a team to forfeit," let me explain the situation.

ToeJammers have, maybe 6 girls on their roster TOTAL. This is done, by design, so they can have the least amount of girls kicking, and can choose the best of the best to play every inning. First of all, only having 4 girls each week is still pretty lame, much less, not even being able to field the requirement.

So I talk to Ruben who explains, they will only have 3 girls. Myself and my team WANT to play, we'd been looking forward to this game the entire season, and the last thing we want is a forfeit win. At the same token, we don't want to lose because they only have 3 girls, and can blast the ball with all dudes in the lineup.

This is not the first time this season this issue has come up with the Jammers. So I think to myself, if we do let them play, they win the game, and somehow win the regular season title, since they were tied for first place, it is all because people have let them slide each time they show up with only 3 girls.

I know winning is important to the Jammers, as well as it is us. They are our biggest rivals, so if we do lose, no matter the situation, they will still have bragging rights, and the 3 girl stipulation would be out the window.

So, I text Rubin, saying, sorry, but I want to stick to the rules of having at least 4 Jammer girls playing, especially considering we have like 9 or 10 girls out there every week, and we will RELUCTANTLY take the forfeit. I also say, that I hope they will still show up so we can play a game for fun.

So this is where we get held hostage. He says, that they will probably just not show up if they have to forfeit. Being that we have been looking forward to this game forever, the last thing I want is to have our team be let down as we all show up ready for a great game. It's like going to bed Christmas eve and having the Grinch steal all the gifts during the night, waking up to zero presents.

So, I talk it over with my Coach, (Sandra) and she definitely wants to play. We tell Rubin to get another girl from whereever and lets do this, and let the chips fall where they may, because I and my team want to play kickball no matter what. It just sucks that we have to do this in order to play at all.

It turned out to be an awesome game, full of great defense, douchey pitching on both sides, and I dont think I heard one complaint from either team. Just like kickball should be.

In the end, one of our veteran girls, Kristy slides into home safe for the win in the top of the 7th, and Superbad sings "Sah Coo Toray" in the streets of Desoto.

And the grinch (I guess me) grew a heart, which triggered an earthquake in the Indian Ocean, creating a tsunami, killing millions.

The End

Jammers have only three ladies, SB enforces the forfeit W

It was a perfect storm for our lady Jammer attendance today.

One is stuck at JFK on a flight delay, one is very sick and at the doctor's office, one is on her honeymoon, one got stuck on a double shift because a co worker quit today and the hilarity actually goes on.

SB enforces the four lady minimum rule. Does not allow the short fielding play on playing one gal, one guy down in the field and takes the W.

Sorry to those who actually bet on us today. I'll make it up to you in the tournament.

-rK

Tale of the Tape - Toejammers vs. Superbad

Inspired by Deeks...

Bored

Here are my picks for the top-10 post-game performers in the league:

1) Jess from Growlers.................Consistently brings it each week.
2) Cassia from PBC......................1-hit wonder, but here are her lyrics from last week:
"When I eat Papa Johns, I have to back that azz up
poopity-poopity, poopity-poopity, poopity-poopity
poop, poop, poop
Papa Johns y'all"
3) Rubs from ToeJammers.........................Soft, sultry, sexy and serinading the chick he just met.
4) Jessica from SuperBad............................usually gets her team worked into an uncomfortable frenzy.
5) Courtney / Kelli Jo / JackedUp girls........obvious
6) Alicia from PBC.........................more of a lifetime achievement award.
7) Todd from Ligers.....................When Todd takes the stage you know someone in the audience is getting dry-humped.
8) YellowBird from parts unknown.......will be used as evidence in his eventual arraignment
9) Jonathan from SuperBad...................so much anger
10) CJ from WAKA.............needed a black guy

Tampa Bay Storm Game

The Ligers stumbled upon a bunch of free Tampa Bay Storm "tickets" for this Friday's match against the Cleveland Gladiators. Needless to say, we have many more tickets than we have Ligers willing to go.

The last time I went to a Storm game (also for free) I stayed for the first half... of the first quarter.

But maybe this outing will be different! For one, it's "Youth Sports Night" as well as "Martial Arts Night." It's also Friday the 13th. And we're going to do some hardcore pre-drinking along with attempting to sneak beers into the game.

If the game sucks we'll just bail and head to Hattricks or the Hub.

So if anyone out there wants to join a few Liggers (although you have to call us Liggas, because you aren't one of us and the other phrase is offensive when outsiders use it), post a comment or send me a message. Maybe we'll spot the next Deeks on the field!

Week 9 Picks

Make them. Caress them.

Closed

Sports Science - Creepy Beard Pitching

Hello kickball fans! And welcome to another edition of SportsCenterKB Sports Science!

In this episode we'll examine just what makes Creepy Beard a formidable foe on the mound, as well as the most "non-Jewish" pitcher in the league!

At 5'3", CJ is eight inches shorter than the average pitcher in GKB, giving him unprecedented lines of sight as he looks up to his opponents standing at the plate. This advantage limits the ball flight before it hits the ground, allowing for minimum air-friction as illustrated in this to-scale image:

A dollar bill is exactly 6.14 inches long!

Releasing with over 25 lbs of force, CJ slings the 10-inch ball 42.42640687119 feet with enough power to run an electric razor for 1.8 seconds! Which probably explains the beard.

But CJ's most menacing tactic is his release angle, combined with a wicked 210 degree wrist-flick that spins the ball right-round faster than any Dead or Alive record in 1984. Look at these three different pitches to Deeks in last Thursday's game:

Creepy Beard is definitely not throwing "over-hand" as blog admins previously implied, but he's also definitely not throwing "under-hand" in accordance to Playing Rule #8. We're going to need some science!

Using the GOKickball logo centered in CJ's chest, we can draw a line to his hand position at the bottom of the ball. From there, we are able to calculate his exact release angle using PhotoShop's measuring tool (horizontal = 90°, straight down = 0°, in-between... you guessed it... 45°). Click on the images for full size analysis!

60 degrees

58 degrees

55 degrees

Perhaps only a GKB rules official can clarify if this is "sidearm," but science is fun!

Next week, we'll analyze how PbC Anne makes her pitches so crazy! Which will probably just turn into an excuse for us to measure the curvature of her voluptuous ass.

Ligers and Toejammers and Drama...OH MY!

Last week the Toejammers (8-1) and Ligers (5-3) faced off in a battle of completely contrasting styles:

- Advocates for Pro-Cupcake pitching vs. advocates of Pro-Douchey pitching 
- Everyone gets a lollipop for participation vs.Your ass gets cut if you make an error
- Pressure to make sure you're always having fun vs. pressure to win every game and be the highest ranked winless team in competitive tourneys.

But in an effort to make this FUN, we had some bets on the line:

1. Handjob Todd threw down his Subway Point card against Ruben's in a winner-take-all high stakes affair.

2. Christian threw down some Superman boxer-briefs against A-hole Toejammer Matt (AHTM) Toejammer Asshole Matt (TAHM) that he couldn't throw out QuickSilver on one of his infamous Chunts.


Game Summary: 

The Toejammers came out swinging with four runs in top of the first inning, while some of the Ligers came out swinging with a mindset that they were going to have a shitty night regardless:

Just don't kick me the ball..I'm good right here.

The Toejammers surged for three more runs before the Ligers retaliated with two of their own, bringing the score to 7-2. Later in the game after a few well placed kicks (and few well placed comments from the Liger bench), Ruben gets a bit flustered and starts tossing bouncy meatballs fun pitches to the Liger kickers, and subsequently misses the tag on Rollo's little bro, who is surprisingly flexible, as he ran home to score. Follow this by an "I-gotta-win-this-bet" velocity overthrow by AHTM TAHM, and a drop-kick from the outfield by Christian that missed Chandlers gray-bush by "inches" (according to Christian) the Ligers start to get some momentum going. At this point it's 7-6 and we're realizing that we actually have to pick up the offense again. So we score an insurance run to push it to 8-6 before locking down the defense to preserve the win.

Final Score: Toejammers - 8 Ligers - 6 


Other News and Notes:

- There were plenty of sexy schoolgirls out at the bar...good job, Growlers!
- Later on at Yard of Ale, Handjob Todd buys me a round and shared his thoughts on the game:

Betting Results:

1. Undies:
- QuickSilver's first kick attempt goes to Christian at shortstop and Matt cannot make a play. Second attempt is shanked and our catcher Joe throws him out on a call that (seeing how the Ligers reacted) surely landed our first base ref on the couch that night. On his third and final attempt, he finally lands the Chunt down the third base line to Matt, who rockets the ball into the outfield of the other field.

Result: After deliberation, it was decided that BOTH Christian and Matt would sport the Superman undies this week (or next  week if they don't arrive in time). At the time of this writing it was not clear as to why.

2. Subwaygate:
- After our victory, Ruben collects Todd's Subway card only to find that those shady folks at Subway corporate tried to hoodwink our hero out of the 219 points Handjob Todd had promised. After Ruben threatened to once again take his business elsewhere, balance (on the card) had been restored.

I had fun in this game and I hope others did as well.

aw hell naw

Ok first of all don't blame me for the poor quality but it's actually a pretty decent scrap out on the causeway. It includes some guys car getting smashed in while people walk on top of it, a pregnant girl, and gun shots.

Power Rankings - Week... 9?

That's right. Week 9. Just like we used to have before Tyrus took it away.

Week 8 Picks Results

Good Friiiiiiidaaaayy Good Friiiiiiiidaaaaay. Gotta get cruciiiiifiiiiiiiieeeed day!

Todd missed two games last night, and owes a beer to the following people who missed zero:

Litman
Chandler
Matt R.
Frank
Matt
Deeks
Christian
Nate
Jess
Griff


Good luck, Hand Job!

Todds pre game speech

Todd had a pregame speech for us on Wednesday night for our match up against The Jammers

A Special Motivational Speaker Visits The Ligers

***The Ligers sit in their locker room, 15 minutes until game time. ***

Hot Tub Party Todd:  Alright kids, this is it! Subway classic, I'm getting those points, the Jammers are going down! Ruben’s buying us sandwiches and then he’s going to give us tickets to a Lightning game! Woooo, Peter I’m so amped, I need a hug.

Peter: I’m cool man.

HTPT: Ok, you’re right, we’ll hug after we win.

Chandler: Todd, you’re talking out of your ass. We aren’t going to win this game. Nobody’s getting a sandwich, not even Bull. And the Lighting’s season is over.  That ticket offer is about as reliable as Griff’s ankles. I’ve run 458,408 statistical models of this game, and we didn’t win fucking one of them.

HTPT: What’s that Chandler, I didn’t hear you, I was practicing my air kicks for our victory karaoke concert tonight.

Chandler: We can’t win, Todd. Numbers don’t lie.

***Shouting match is about to erupt in the locker room when…***

(the door flies open)

Tale of the tape: PBC v SuperBad

Week 8 Picks

They're here. Don't make them shitty.

Closed.

T&A Green Corner is bringing back the bins!

You probably have been missing the Recycling Bins that were so appreciated last year. Sorry, I’ve missed a lot of the first half of the season rehabbing after my calf implant surgery. It won’t help me kick the ball any better, but man do these puppies look sick now.
So the bins are back. Look. Recycle. It is imperative that we do this since the bums that we relied on at the old field aren’t at Desoto Park to help out.

Power Rankings Week 8

So that's how Tony put on all those lbs...keep it away from JACOB!!!!

Week 7 Picks

Odd week in the world of picks. The only game that wasn't unanimously chosen was Ligers vs. Growlers.

Those with perfect picks:

Dan
Deeks
Nate
Chandler
Jess
Alison
Griff

Those who owe one drink to everyone above:

Frank
Todd
Natalie
Litman