Red Rockets Shutout and Ass-RapeTeam Viagra 7-0 Leaving Them With Blue Balls!!

The Red Rockets won the "Boner Bowl" Wednesday night and hit the kickball version of the trifecta by ass-raping Team Viagra, pulling out to "Superman that hoe"and then left their post middle-aged, overly erect opponents with blue balls. It was a crushing, demeaning and demoralizing display that would probably have given one of Ruben's groupies flashbacks.

Once again, the carnage began in the top of the first courtesy of back to back base hits by Ruben "Rubs" Kajkowski and Ali "Dookie" Deese. Then John "Griff" Griffin smacked a low liner into right center driving in both runners before rounding the bases and scoring himself for his 3rd consecutive homer to start the season. He rounded 2nd, 3rd and took home with the ball in the infield almost daring his blue pill swallowing counterparts to try and throw him out. Through two games, the reigning WAKA tourney final MVP has 3 homers and 9 RBIs in only 4 at bats.

Two weeks into the season, two first inning facials. I think this is becoming a team trademark. Props to Team Viagra though. They didn't take it up the ass all game without a smile. In fact after taking an ealry pearl necklace from Griff's 3 run shot, they wiped themselves off and kept on fighting and even seemed more spirited by the 5th inning when the game was out of reach. Maybe that's just all of that "experience" those old-timers have on us. Or maybe they just like to be dominated.

Some other notes from the game.....


John "Irish" Durcan got off the snide with a nice extra base hit. When asked if the Red Rockets win took some of the sting off of watching Manchester United lose earlier in the day, his reaction (pictured on the right) almost made me shit myself in fear. Guess soccer is still the top sport in his heart. Just save some room for "Dookie" and kickball.. okay, bud?



SarahB was robbed by a horrible call negating a fine base hit. Jeanette did her best to try and cool off everyone in attendance with a nice breeze when she swung and completely whiffed on a pitch. That's the kind of unselfishness I like from teammates. Duc "Duck" Truong pitched two more solid innings to start the game. "Rubs" relieved in the 3rd closing out the game and dominated. His debut using the smaller yellow ball was a successful one, and his pitches had enough movement to draw the ire of his raging hard-on opponents. Yella/RedBird shut down a couple of bunts drawing some comparisons to Nick ("Asshole Catcher") from Balls N Dolls and some ribbing from a drunk Red Rocket fan. "His name is Bito."


Brent "BK" Kraus was a defensive demon taking away two base hits in the first and earned "Rocket Man" honors for the week. For his efforts, he'll receive an all-inclusive overnight stay in bed with Elton John. Sir Elton is excited about this upcoming visit. Bayshorekb.com talked to him via conference call earlier today and he had the following comment, "Mmmmmm.... I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with that Brent. I'm so delighted to share my bed with an American stud like him! Isn't kickball wonderful? Go Red Rockets!"






The Rockets were in control the entire game, but never really laid the hammer down like last week when they blew multiple loads all over the faces of the Whiskey Sours. Still, they got Team Viagra bent over early and just pretty much leaned on them in attempt to "make it last" more so than the previous week. Maybe they were tired or just comlpacent. One thing's for sure, they know they can perform better and even have the adult film awards to prove it. We'll see if it comes (or cums) out next week vs "Got Green?" The toe hits the rubber at 8pm. See you there!