Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Great sexist reading


Came across this new product while surfing the interwebs and the product reviews are awesome. Take a few minutes to kill some time at work by reading some of the sexist product reviews by clicking the link below.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B004FTGJUW/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt/275-4079941-7427224?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Sample: This pen is great. I bought it for all my female friends and relatives. It enabled them, finally, to write things (although they may not yet know to do so on paper; but you can only expect so much, really). I thought they were just a bit slow.

My mother, a hard-working woman who raised twelve kids single-handedly whilst doing all the ironing (as nature intended), was furtively abashed by her illiteracy. Long would she gaze upon her husband and sons' scrawlings and would dedicate five minutes a day (which she really should have spent making sandwiches) to pray that one day she would be granted the ability to create such scribbles of her own. She's still a little slow on the uptake, but this product has definitely helped start the ball rolling. We tried to give her men's pens but she used to rip the cartridges out and drink the ink. Typical woman.

Anyway, it's good that BIC are finally doing something to aid the plight of women. Hopefully a range of 'for her' paperclips is on the horizon - my wife has an awful time keeping her recipes together.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Kickball Cancelled

The people in charge of DeSoto park called and told us the fields were closed tonight. I'm told Johnny went out there to see for himself... and there's basically standing water everywhere. Apparently one day of sun no rain doesn't make up for 5 straight days of downpour.

I'll be at the bar anyway.

Next games are in two weeks due to RNC road closures. See you then.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Week 1 Picks

I guess picks are back too this season. Choose the winner of each game... write some commentary... win free beer.

If you're new to the blog and lurking, come out of the damn closet and join in the fun.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Power Rankings - Week 1

Aaaaaaaand we're back!


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Free Bar Tab at The Patio or O'Briens

This year I was elected as the Athletics chair for the Tampa Gator club and I have the responsibility of making the schedule for "game hosts" at our viewing locations for all Gator gamedays. This year our two main gameday viewing locations are The Patio in South Tampa and O'Briens on North Dale Mabry.

Due to some Alumni Association restrictions, our board membership was significantly reduced this year and we don't have as many board members in years past.  This presents the unique opportunity for non-board members to volunteer and act as game hosts on behalf of the Tampa Gator Club.


Gameday hosts will receive a $25 gift card for hosting that can be applied immediately to your bar or food tab.  As a host you'll be responsible for setting up/running the gameday raffles for prizes like gift certificates, football tickets, autographed memorabilia and other items that have been donated.   Each game will most likely have a Gator club board member as the primary host, so you'll pretty much be hanging out and getting a free bar tab.

Why not host a game and get a free bar tab if you're going to be watching the game and drinking anyway?

Let me know if you're interested so I can get you scheduled before the spots fill up.

-Robert Pickett
(352) 256-1933
rpickett00@gmail.com

Friday, August 17, 2012

Yard of FAIL

HOT HOT HOT.
Crowded.
Why... would you co-ordinate a running event & Kickball pre-season party at your establishment on the same night?  I guess going forward... they will not conflict with each other because the GOKB crowd will get there after the Running jocks have gone home & to bed, so shouldn't be too bad... in other news today, there's like some "FREE PUSSY RIOT" going on in Russia, where, from what I can gather from it, they are rioting for free pussy.  Smells like a DPT trip to me??? Anyone???

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ask the Commish!


With the Fall season approaching, I thought I'd take a little time to answer any questions you have about life, the upcoming seasons, the She-wee, my covert trip into WAKA country, whatever you got.

As always, I'll try to answer as honestly as possible.

Ask away!

GKB Fall 2012 Schedule

Once again, those who reluctantly visit this corner of the internets get a sneak peek at some insider information. Bull (remember him?) successfully hacked into the GKB servers and stole a copy of the upcoming schedule. It must have been a slow night on the oil pipeline, with no baby seals to unclog from the tubes.

This news couldn't have come at a better time, since apparently people need to know the schedule weeks in advance.

And remember: unless there is a rain-out, every team will play each other.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Smithkey's Birthday Cruise

Smithkey has planned a cruise for his birthday on November 1st. You don't have to give a shit about his birthday to attend though, cruises are fun regardless. He posted the following on facebook, but figured I'd share it here just incase you missed it...
And we're 99% sure that we have a booze hook-up since there is someone working on the cruise that is connected to Mike.
Litman and I have been talking about going on a cruise for awhile now and figured my upcoming 30th birthday would be a great time so we booked it. 4 day Carnival Cruise to from Port Canaveral to the Bahamas. Depart Thur @ 4pm and return back Mon @ 7am.

Everyone is welcome to come and bring whoever they wish. It might not be the Groove Cruise but it is sure to be a good time. A single cabin for 2 is just $338 + $112.46 in taxes/fees for a total of $450.46 which break down to just $225.23 a person. Of cours
e you have options to upgrade your room, squeeze in more people, etc but they cheapest rate for a Florida resident comes to $225. Litman and I booked room R54 so you may want to get one close by or as far away as possible.

Here is the schedule
Thur (nov 1)- depart port canaveral 4pm
Fri- Nassau, The Bahamas 10am - 7pm
Sat- Half moon Cay, The Bahamas 9am - 5pm
Sun- Fun Day at Sea
Mon- arrive back at Port Canaveral 7am

Here is a direct link to the cruise we selected
http://www.carnival.com/BookingEngine/StateRoom/stateroom2/?embkCode=PCV&itinCode=BAK&durDays=4&shipCode=EC&subRegionCode=BH&sailDate=11%2F1%2F2012&sailingID=63697&numGuests=2&showDbl=False&isOver55=N&isPastGuest=N&stateCode=FL&isMilitary=N

Note- Price will show starting at $219 but will drop to $169 when you select Florida resident. We selected
midship as our room location.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

WAKA Recap…

All right, it’s great to see DPT awake and alive and kicking after its long summer slumber…. Reid’s Chicken catch, She-Wee… DPT never disappoints.  As many of you know, I spent this past summer season in WAKA.  It was actually a covert operation aimed at securing a full league for GOKickball.  It was an arduous mission, the season was in total discombobulation as the cash-generating WAKA machine empire expanded its domain to an uncontrollable 20 teams.  All of this in the mist of constructing a huge bigger Death Star building to house all of the new money making madness social sports machine.  IT was quite a HOT sweaty mess.  Once I penetrated deep into the Shockers roster, I donned the “Happy Hand” to make it an extra happy season.   And with my announcement of rejoining the fearless Ligers in the Fall season in GOKickball, well, the purple (yes all of it, Shockers & Jacked UP) followed the Pied Piper back to Happy Chanland.  I was surprised to observe a much more developed WAKA league than when I saw it last summer.  There were some quality teams out there.  I’d say the competition between the top 8 teams was all equal.   Quality Kickball was well played.  The Seminoles are the talk of the town, and like true WAKA cut-throat champions, they never frequented the bar.  Fun Factor sucked thoroughly.  McDinton’s turn out diminished weekly, and at about week 6  hardly a WAKA shirt would be found past 10 oclock at McDs.  Karaoke dwindled to the point to which HTPT was pulling out all the tricks.  Schniikies, during my last performance, I did a back flip off the stage to get some reaction… to which the crowd responded with a mild to quite-mild yawn.  I didn’t land it like an Olympic gymnast, or any kind of gymnast, but dude… a back flip… nothing.  How can this league be fun… and it hit me.  So then a revelation came across my mind.   Epiphany.  And I second guessed myself.  The outside world would judge me, conventional behavior told me not to do it, It’d be too much fun.  It wasn’t me.  But after a weekend afternoon of watching Dr Wayne Dyer on PBS, I found the inner EGO igniting it once again, and where better than at GOKickball.  WAKA wouldn’t appreciate this.  I’m signing OFF now with the cryptic tone set, and mostly because no one read this posting after “WAKA” was in the title, so I’ll quit wasting precious keystrokes.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Newest piece of kickball gear for the ladies...

Another kickball season is right around the corner and you want to make sure that you are prepared for it! I know many kickball ladies have complained that the park bathrooms are far from the playing surfaces making it difficult to make the trip between innings. Well I have the answer for you! The SHEWEE!


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

GKB Registration

We have been told that Fall GKB registration is almost over. Here's the deal:

The league is capped at 12 teams again this season due to the size of the field we're playing on. Two teams were turned away during the registration process. They should have gotten their act together sooner.

Teams that do not have 18-20 people on their roster will get free agents. So if you have open spots, fill them ASAP.

We'll do a breakdown of the leage soon... and maybe even poke fun at WAKA who went from 16 teams last season to 14 teams this season. Attrition sucks, no?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Reid's Catch of the Day

On our recent trip to Key West, Bull and I formulated an idea... but we weren't really sure how to pull it off. Thankfully, the pieces fell into place.

-----------------

The group activity this year was one of those fishing excursions where a local restaurant would cook up whatever you caught. So the guys decided to make a pact: if you didn't catch a fish, you didn't get to eat dinner that night. The pressure was immense, especially after Heather W. caught seven mangrove snapper (the other three girls combined for a total of zero fish).

Eventually Bull and I each caught a couple of snapper, while Reid seemed headed for a diet of Coronas. And then this happened:


At breakfast that morning (Reid wasn't with us) Bull called the fishing company and explained our plan. Their exact response: "you want to do what?!?" When Bull told them that our friend was black, all you could hear was laughter coming out of the phone. Then we had the issue of finding the damn thing at a grocery store (not as easy as you'd think in Key West), getting it on the boat, putting it in the water and weighing it down without Reid seeing it.

Anyway, big thanks to Reid for having a sense of humor... and putting up with the politically incorrect assholes he calls "friends."