Friday, October 28, 2011

Top 20 Tebowing Positions

Okay.. So it's Friday and my friend and I were bored at work. Actually, this is all her doing - she's a Gator:

I decided to make a list of ideas for Teneille’s Tebowing weekend:

1. Tebowing while holding a boa constrictor: Te-boa-ing

2. Tebowing on a toilet: Te-go-ing

3. A hooker Tebowing: Te-hoe-ing

4. Tebowing on a tow-truck: Re-po-ing or Te-tow-ing

5. J. Lo Tebowing: T-Lo-ing

6. Tebowing while mowing: Te-mow-ing

7. Tebowing while reviewing the National Debt: Te-owe-ing

8. Tebowing while reading The Raven: Te-Edgar-Allen-Poe-ing

9. Tebowing in a row boat: Te-row-ing

10. Tebowing while sewing: Te-sew-ing

11. Joey Lawrence Tebowing: Te-WHOA-ing (Ben you may be to young for a Blossom reference)

12. Billy Blanks Tebowing: Tae-bow-ing

13. Tebowing while bowling: Te-bowl-ing

14. Tebowing in New Orleans: Te-beaux-ing

15. Tebowing while asking for a raise: Te-pay-me-more-dough-ing (ok, that’s a stretch)

16. Tebowing by a FSU fan: Te-foe-ing

17. Tebowing while at a swap market: Te-quid-pro-quo-ing

18. Tebowing while painting: Te-Vincent-Van-Gogh-ing

19. Tebowing while picking your hair: Te-fro-ing

20. Tebowing in a Mary Jane lab: Te-grow-ing

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dirty Tebowing.....


Dirty Tebow

The next time you contemplate giving somebody a 'Dirty Sanchez', smear the turd across the upper cheek instead.... and think of Tebow.

Tebowing...

Tebowing

When you walk out of your next status meeting, drop to one knee, put your fist to your forehead and think of tebow.

EOS party and TeamFox Contribution

Kickballers!!!

I wanted to update you on the shot total and contribution to the Fox Foundation. The shot total ended up being $556 with $139 of that going to TeamFox! Also a personal contribution from the Beer Nuts that night puts the overall total of the fundraiser over $1700!!!

Thank you all who have donated thus far, those who bought shots and those who still plan to donate.

Thanks again!!!

-rK

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

DPT BQBL Week 7 Recap

"You people" need to have some more interesting things to blog about.

In the meantime... record setting weekend. More points were left on the bench (398) then were started (310)!

Gorecki vs. Souder
Gorecki couldn't bring himself to start his man-crush Brantly Tebow. And that looked like a huge mistake for most of the game. But then Jesus did Jesus things... like giving motivational speeches to prisoners, donating his time to the homeless, and circumcising impoverished kids. In fact, during the 4th quarter, Tebow H. Christ had just started to squeeze the foreskin scissors on his last patient: Litman. Unfortunately he realized there was only about 2 minutes left in the game, so he had to stop mid-cut to go embarrass the shit out of the Dolphins. Eighteen un-answered points later, Denver had a victory... Gorecki had an orgasm... and Litman had a hybrid. None of this has anything to do with the Gorecki/Souder match-up. All you need to know about that is "AJ Feeley," and his first start since 2007. Nate can fill you in on the rest. It also doesn't help that Souder left the Colts (with 97 points) on the bench. Final score: Gorecki wins 39 - 0.

Litman vs. Kyle
Matt Cassel played valiantly (shitty) for Kyle, doing his best to become a 2nd string QB. Meanwhile, my boy Charlie Whitehurst did his best to make me look like an idiot... by failing to reach 100 yards passing. With the Ravens unexpectedly stinking up Kyle's bench, the outcome was never in question. Final score: Litman wins 62 - 46.

Chandler vs. DNN
Mark Sanchez continues to be the bane of my existence, throwing 3 touchdowns and killing my team once again. Nate was forced to start the Bucs and Cards due to byes, and was quickly rewarded with Kolb taking a safety (like an idiot) and Freeman doing what Freeman-Lovers refuse to acknowledge that he does (suck ass). The Bucs have gone to England twice, and were beat down twice. Is the NFL trying to LOWER interest in the game across the pond? Please... just leave our Bucs alone and allow them to suck in peace. Final score: Nate wins 71 - 19.

Bito vs. Smithkey
This was a battle of two bench-riding titans (somewhat literally)! In fact, I'm not even going to talk about the starting teams. Bito told the actual Titans to sit the fuck down. The Titans told Bito that he doesn't know much about real football or pansy European football, and proceeded to do their best Man U vs. Man City impression. Hasselbeck eventually got benched in the 4th quarter following a pick six, and finished with 92 wasted points. It appeared Smithkey was going to be destroyed in the Bench Bowl. But for some unknown reason, he didn't feel like using the Raiders who had just signed an aging Carson Palmer... and were threatening to start him on 3 days practice. WTF? Oakland eventually went with Kyle Boller, but his 3 picks (one for six) led to a benching. Rusty-ass Palmer prances into the game and throws three more interceptions (one for six). Terrelle Pryor is on the sideline looking nervous. What a mess. 178 BQBL points wasted! Final actual score: Smithkey wins 58 - 15.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Next Season

The Fall 2011 GOKickball season has officially come to an end with an awesome end-of-season party at Wings Gone Wild. Thanks to all those who attended, participated in flip-cup, sang countless hours of karaoke, bought charity shots and went to the Red Dog after party.

Speaking of flip-cup... the Alcoballics won their 2nd championship (in as many years) by defeating a few really good teams in dramatic fashion. Not even Gorecki's 8-flips could deny this team their destiny. Considering the final was Alcoballics vs. Alcoballics, it's safe to say they're currently the team to beat.

Alcoballics. Flip-Cup Champions.

DPT isn't sure how much money was raised for Ruben's marathon, but hopefully he'll comment the final number so we'll all feel better about ourselves. We truly do have one of the most charitable groups in Tampa, so a big thanks to everyone who continues to donate hard-earned money to good causes.

Good pic of the kickball champs: SuperBad.

So let's talk about NEXT season.

We will once again be working with GKB in the off-season to further improve their kickball product. This season was very smooth, which is mostly attributed to an oak tree not falling and destroying the field lights. The refs were vastly improved as well. There were a couple of new teams who survived, and we've heard talk of other new groups wanting to join the league.

The next season will start in the beginning of February. Registration will open November 14th, and you will have two weeks to sign up before it's open to anyone else. That's a week longer than usual, due to the league being full last season.

We're also working on getting a 10/11 flex game schedule for an additional $5. Under this plan, you'll have 10 scheduled games and a one week buffer for a rain-out. If there are no rain-outs (there usually aren't in the winter) you'll play the 11th game. For the liberal arts majors out there, this means you play every team in the league during the regular season... all while the cost per game decreases.

If you have any reasonable suggestions for league improvements, let your voice be heard. GKB people read this blog so they'll see it.

Keep an eye out for winter parties and other events during the off-season!

-------------
Bonus Stat
Here's a fun exercise for your WAKA friends. Let's say you play on Off Constantly, and you sign up for all three of WAKA's seasons (Bayshore in winter and fall, Guava in summer). The winter and fall leagues are 8 games long, and summer has 7 for some reason. Both cost about $74. By the end of the year you'll have paid $222 for 23 regular season games, compared to the $110 for GKB's proposed 22-game schedule. Unbelievable. Next time we'll break down the horrible competition in that over-priced league, and why one veteran team is thinking about switching to GKB (even though we might not have room for them).
-------------

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

DPT BQBL Week 6 Recap

The leader board is getting tight!

Souder vs. Litman
Souder once again neglects his 3rd and 4th round picks, choosing to start the powerhouse tandem of Carolina and Indy. Litman avoided my boy Whitehurst killing his team this week, thanks to a Seattle bye. And with 3 interceptions by Drew Brees, I really thought Litman had this game won easily. But what's that sound I hear? Cam Newton still riding the interception train? CHOOO CHOOO!!! CHOO CHOOOOOO!! Three more shitty passes for the most overrated rookie of all time. Final score: Souder wins 48 - 38.

Chandler vs. Gorecki
Alex Smith led a game winning drive, stabbing Chandler in the back with his small hands (once again). But Ginger Dalton laid a goose egg, putting Young Grey behind Old Grey by one point. The match-up would be decided in prime time, as the Dolphins took to Monday Night Football. Matt Moore led the charge, and found the red zone with ease. What could go wrong?? Oh... a 100-yard pick six. That'll do it. Final score: Chandler wins 59 - 11.

Bito vs. Kyle
The Redskins and an all pro day, scoring 78 points thanks to Sexy Rexy's 4 interceptions and benching. Of course, Kyle left the Skins on the bench in favor of using one of his Patriot starts. So how did the Pats do? -2 points. Add to that another shitfest from McNobble (who finally got benched too) and Bito ran away with it. Final score: Bito wins 67 - 2.

Smithkey vs. Nate
The Jags continue to be the steal of the draft, scoring a solid 27 points thanks to an under 150 yard day. Meanwhile, Mike Vick continues to refuse to get fully injured. And Josh Freeman decided not to suck. Nate's team is horrible... and by horrible I mean good in real life. Final score: Smithkey wins 33 - 4.

Comment your selections for next week.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

GOKickball Season Party

Don't forget the party this weekend. Be there, and sign up for flip cup (starts at 8pm).

Saturday, October 22nd
7pm - Midnight
Wings Gone Wild
Registered GKB Players - FREE 
Guests - $10

We're heading back to the bar that probably takes the best care of us... Wings Gone Wild.

Beer will be provided until it runs out, but we didn't run out last season so I wouldn't worry about it. There will once again be a charity shot, with proceeds benefiting the Michael J. Fox Foundation. All food items will be discounted 20%. Drunken karaoke will obviously be set up for us, as well as the seasonal Flip-Cup Tournament!
The Todd. Doing his thing.
Flip-Cup Tournament Details:
- Six (6) players per team. If you do not have a full squad, free-agents will be given to you.
- $5 per player ($30 per team).
- Every round will be a best-of-seven series.
- Single elimination.
Alcoballics - Last Season Flip-Cup Champs!
Additional reminders and details will be sent out as the date get closer. If you're attending the USF homecoming game (with its awesome 12pm kickoff time), make sure you take a nap before attending the party.

Monday, October 17, 2011

SHOCKED



I am entirely responsible for the fallout of PBC's denied crystal pitcher. Kissing the ass of D-10 (who are awesome) I got a shocker costume for Halloween and thought it'd get in a great work out at the tourney, completely oblivious to the implications it had in completely swaying the vote of the Shockers, the Shock value which ultimately brought ligers to crystal. Oops… but the pics are funny. My personnel opinion… screw it, anyone who cares about hanging onto this last remnant of WAKA deserves to be relegated back to WAKA. What the hell is it anyway. It’s undefined as something that goes to the most fun team that exhibits the true passion of the kickball camaraderie or some BS like that. Completely based on Qualitative measurements that only ensure drama in this bitch-ridden blog. How about a “beer pitcher” award that goes to the team that consumes the most alcohol in a season…. Now were talking. Completely quantitative measurements that will decide a clear victor. But then BCBT will win it and I hate those table-flipping shenanigan-doers. screw it… let’s burn the Shocker with the Waka shirts on National anti-Waka day. And the crystal pitcher too.

Discrimination has no place in kickball!

I think it is very clear what is going on here.







I guess we weren't Wigger enough for you.








What??????

When we began our Crystal Pitcher journey we were told to NOT DREAM the impossible dream. We heard that only 3 or 4 teams were truly eligible and the elite would not accept us. We thought our strategy of hot women, buying affection with an aggressive bar tab and generally not being douchebags would work. Unfortunately our dream has been raped. We don't mind losing to the Ligers, because they were two of our best games. Instead of taking the high road, we'd like to take this opportunity to piss and moan.

A few of our own fun facts/observations:

Shockers are dicks......we rolled into our game with them in full Octoberfest/Gay Leprechaun attire and took shots with the only player on their team allowed to talk to outsiders. We didn't even lose it on a controversial play that cost us the game in the last inning. We still like Rob and have a crush on the hot catcher, but we didn't even warrant a single vote from your team????

SuperBad is on probation.....Seiler and half our team was there cheering you on when you won. Sure it was because they were too drunk to leave, but they still showed support. We've had your back on the field and at the bar and quite frankly we are hurt, dicks.

ALCOBALLICS.....1, 2, bite me.

Katherine plays for PHDivas. Can anyone else name someone from that team? Exactly. We also got support from IHT, although they are a little clingy and drunk text us late at night. FYI...we know you would hit that, but we just want to be friends. While some teams are circle-jerking with each other, we're at least reaching out to the new teams. We're giving up on YOA and starting a new book club with the PHDivas.

We should get more credit for our Community Outreach program. Even though it cost us games we were the only team that would allow JD, Jepsen and Caruso to play. You should see their happy, simple faces light up while they are dry-humping the damn ball around the field.

On behalf of the Pitches, congratulations Ligers......the rest of the league can kiss our ass!

Crystal Pitcher Results

Just like the Chicago Tribune inaccurately announced the presidential election of 1948, DPT counted the chickens before they hatched in this seasons Crystal Pitcher.

Way before your time.

Despite an extensive, but subtle blog campaign... Pitches be Crazy still can't get any respect. Upon learning that half their team needed to leave before the day was over, PbC was asked to pose for a "Crystal Pitcher victory photo."

Premature Ejac... oh never mind.

In most of our minds, there was no way they could lose. They brought in hot girls, jolly fat men... and even took Caruso! Exit polls conducted during the last few weeks of the season also pointed to a landslide victory for the ex-Bumpit squad.

But when we tallied the votes, it turns out that the league elected a bunch of Liggers.

We stole that blender from Soul Glo.

The Ligers edged PbC by 7 votes (5%), and DPT still isn't exactly sure why (Rollo thinks it was due to Maria's pudding shots and the addition of The Todd). The complete breakdown of votes, showing which teams voted for whom, can be seen below.



Right off the bat you'll see that the Ligers got 100% of the Shocker vote, 63% of the Growler vote and 50% of TBN votes. Pitches be Crazy did well with the Ligers (100%) and I'd Hit That (88%). But they were spurned by SuperBad, Alcoballics and YLLINaD.


Other fun facts include:
  • THEE Beer Nuts only attempted to vote for themselves once, but switched it to BC!BT!
  • The Growlers got zero votes. This is nowhere near a true representation of their "fun level." They dominated the bar and karaoke every week, which is more than most teams can say.
  • The Shockers received one vote. Rob's lack of Game Day reports is surely to blame.
  • Someone on SuperBad voted for the Ligers and wrote on the ballet: "Because I have a crush on Paige." Rob's lack of Game Day reports must make this unidentified suitor believe he has a chance!
  • A voter on SuperBad initially voted for PHDivas, but changed it to THEE Beer Nuts and wrote: "Because they [PHDivas] left early." This person is awesome and thankfully didn't waste their vote on an undeserving team.
  • Speaking of... the PHDivas cast zero votes, because they ALL left early after their 11am game.
  • BC!BT! only cast 4 votes because most of their team left immediately following their round one loss. I'm sure some people had a good reason... but most who leave after losing are kinda missing the point of kickball.
  • The ToeJammers cast 5 votes, presumably because they were too busy losing another tournament.
Next season DPT is going to have to push a lot harder for the unappreciated Pitches be Crazy. But in general, we love the mix of people in the league. Tournament day was a lot of fun... Rajun Cajun afterward was out of control... and we're all happy to still be playing kickball.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

DPT Bracket Madness

I guess it should come as no surprise that Frank won the brackets this season. He does, in fact, know more about kickball than anyone in the league. Only hours after I presented him Kerrygold aged cheddar cheese (for the season picks championship), I had to give him $90 for a perfect bracket. He immediately bought $90 worth of Mexican Red from one of the kids on the playground.

Results:

Frank - 26 (missed the total runs tie-breaker by one)
Paige - 24 (got the total runs correct)
Melissa M. - 24 (got the total runs correct)
Souder - 24
Emily P. - 20
Matt R. - 20
Bito - 18
Dave (SuperBad) - 17
Maria - 15
Litman - 15
Kyle - 14
Alison 2 - 14
Chandler - 14
Robert P. - 14
Alison - 11
Paul - 12
Kyle 2 - 7
Litman 2 - 5

T&A Green Corner Wins Big at Tourney


Thanks GOKickballers. Without the homeless guy there collecting, we were able to save a lot of trash from winding up in landfills and offset the carbon emissions from burning WAKA shirts for the entire past year.
I’m looking forward to rocking the T&A Green Corner recyclers in the coming 2012 season. Here’s a few tips to help in the recycling process:
-If you’re going to recycle cans/bottles, drink it all. Don’t be a pussy.
-If you’re going to recycle jello shot containers, take the whole shot. Don’t be a pussy. Actually probably just good to throw these away.
-Crush the can.
HYPE!

Friday, October 14, 2011

A Little Funny Friday

So I guess this may be pretty old at this point, but I saw it for the first time today and couldn't stop laughing. Thought Id share with those who might be in the same boat as me.

Tournament Brackets & Stuff

Brackets are finalized, and you can print one here. Fill it out with your name and total runs in the final, and give to me with $5 if you want to participate in the pool.

If you don't play until 12:15pm or 1:30pm... email me your selections. All brackets must be turned in before the start of the first games (11am). All money is due to me before 12:15pm. Any brackets with no money associated will be thrown out then.

------------------------

Frank, Litman, Chandler, Todd and Alison won the picks last night with a -1 score. Smithkey and Teneille owe each of them a drink with a -4 score. Good luck getting Teneille to buy you a drink.

This makes Frank the winner of the picks. The hypest of the hype. Good job! He'll win a gift card of some kind, once I find one. In the meantime, everyone else just has to live with the fact that he's more of a kickball expert than you.

------------------------

Don't forget the unofficial after party at Rajun Cajun. Don't forget to bring cash to the fields for gambling. See you guys Saturday.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Power Rankings & Picks - Week 8

Final Power Rankings and picks for the season! We added a little hate... and a lot of ass kissing.

Picks are closed!

--------------------------------


Update - Michael J Fox Foundation - TEAMFOX - New York City Marathon


Kickballers!

FIRST of all THANK YOU SO MUCH to those whom have donated thus far. In just over two weeks we have raised over $1200 for Parkinson's Research! That is AMAZING!!!

A new development, as a first time fund raiser for the Fox Foundation, I will have every dollar I raise matched by a grant. So while I will only get credit for the $1200 thus far, we have indeed raised $2400!!!

I would like to keep the ball rolling soooo I started talks with the Tampa Bay Lightning AND which ever team donates the most as a team will get a team outing to a game. Tickets are TBD solely on the fact of we do not know who the winner will be and securing 17-28 tickets and having not enough or too many was a big planning issue. The offer is for roster spots ONLY, NO plus ones. Since this is for charity and I will be opening up this offer to the other sport leagues I play in but based on your generosity thus far, I cannot imagine another league taking this.

All donations by active players thus far will be eligible for this offer and so at THIS point the Ligers are in the lead with Pitches Be Crazy in second place.

Our league ends next week and the other leagues just before Thanksgiving so I will update the winner around that time.

I am also working a deal that even if your team does not win, the Lightning will be offering a special rate to the same game as the winning team to all my supporters so we can all go to the game together.

Also I have a few more prizes since last post,

2-Tickets to 97X's The Next Big Thing concert courtesy of Cox Radio
1-$25 gift certificate to Shulas
1-$25 gift certificate to Shulas
1- Giordano's gift certificate ($25)

So donate today!!!



Golf
1-Foursome at Innisbrook Golf Resort, redeemable in 2012
1-Foursome at Hammock Beach Golf Resort, redeemable 10/11-10/12
1-Twosome at TPC Tampa, cart fees not included($30), redeemable 10/11-10/12
1-Twosome at TPC Tampa, cart fees not included($30), redeemable 10/11-10/12
1-Twosome at Westchase Golf Club, restrictions apply
1-Twosome at Westchase Golf Club, restrictions apply
1-Twosome at Champions Gate Golf Club, all inclusive, redeemable 10/11-10/12
-includes players golf package, a sleeve of course golf balls, etc.
1-Twosome at Champions Gate Golf Club, all inclusive, redeemable 10/11-10/12
-includes players golf package, a sleeve of course golf balls, etc.
1-Twosome at Reunion Resort and Golf Club, redeemable 10/11-10/12
1-Twosome at Reunion Resort and Golf Club, redeemable 10/11-10/12
1 - 90 minute swing evaluation from GolfTec, expires 9.23.12

Game Tickets and Sports Memorabilia
1 - Brad Richards autographed Lightning Jersey from the Stanley Cup Championship season
1 - Tampa Rowdies Prizes Pack, 4 VIP tickets and 4 pregame Field Passes, scarf, etc
1 - 4 Suite Tickets to a 2012 season Lightning game courtesy of CBS Outdoor


Restaurants
- Lunch for two at Wright's Gourmet ($30)
- Giordano's gift certificate ($25)
- Brickhouse Tavern ($25)
- Ruby Tuesdays ($25)
- Lunch for one at Pei Wei ($10)

Spa
- Spa Pedicure from Heavenly Nails ($20)

Misc.
1 - 28x22 framed David O'Keefe Caddyshack personally signed by Bill Murray. Only 10 exist.



Tournament Brackets

New people! DPT Lurkers! YLLINaD boycott committee!

Listen up.

Every year we do tournament brackets, just like "March Madness." Entry is $5 per bracket, and you can enter as many as you'd like.

You can find a printable bracket here... but it won't be filled in with seedings until Friday. The Liger tent will also have some blank ones for you. Turn your submissions in there.

Points are awarded for correct picks in a 1-2-4-6 fashion, depending on what round it is.

Each bracket turned in must have the following:
  1. $5. We'll have limited change... but we can not take credit or IOUs since we pay out at the end of the day.
  2. Your name on the top. It's amazing how many people forget to put their name on their bracket.
  3. A TOTAL number of points scored in the final game. This is the tie-breaker.
Do not miss this opportunity to gamble on kickball. It's the American way!

This has nothing to do with the above post.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

swallow this.

DPT BQBL - Week 5 Recap

Let's get this over with.

Chandler vs. Souder
Why has Big Ben abandoned the things that made him a Super Bowl winning quarterback? Mainly, raping sorority girls in public bathrooms (allegedly)? It's probably a bit calloused of me to make jokes about someones drunken (and possibly drugged) plight. But Roethlisberger totally threw me into the stall at Golden Corral and profusely pounded my pooper this week (alliteration for the win!). Sure, maybe I was initially star-struck when I saw him. And maybe I was overly flirtatious and willingly followed him into that bathroom. But I was drunk on Salisbury steak! And halfway through his 5 touchdown performance, I begged him to stop! Alas, he didn't. Meanwhile, Cam Newtwon threw another pick for Souder. Final score: Souder wins 2 - -10.

Bito vs. Litman
Litman is in trouble. When T-Jack went down on Sunday, I told Daywalker: "Watch out. My fellow Clemson brother Charlie Whitehurst is a beast." Sure enough, he threw for one TD, zero picks and a 100 QB rating. He was also only 37 seconds away from a "game winning drive." I predict a massive Bad QB Controversy on Brian's hands. As for Bito... his boy McNabb got a THIRD vote of confidence in a row from his coach. If you feel the need to prop up your quarterback every week... maybe it's time to just put in Ponder. Or at least to ponder putting in Ponder. In any case, McNizzle won't be getting a 4th in a row, because they finally won a game. Final score: Bito wins 28 - -1.

Smithkey vs. Gorecki
It finally happened. After getting another vote of confidence from John Fox... Orton got benched for Tebow. Jesus promptly went three and out... twice. But even the Bible can't account for Jesus' life between ages 12-30. So maybe slow starts are just His thing. Anyway, Tebow rallied the team and almost won the game. Gorecki (who thankfully started the Broncos and got +35 for the benching) erupted in a mist of bodily fluids. And this couldn't have come at a better time for OMG. With John Brantley on crutches, there's a huge man-crush void to fill. But will Mike have the balls to start Tebow in the BQBL? He is, by definition, a bad quarterback (so far). Smithkey put up a good fight, but once again had to play one of the top scorers. Final score: Gorecki wins 66 - 26.

Nate vs. Kyle
Due to the bye week, Kyle had to start the Cheifs and Pats. It's no surprise Brady had a decent game. But 4 TDs for Matt Cassel? Ouch. He was averaging 37 per game before that. Lucky Leprechaun Nate pulled some gold out of his ass, with a 42 point effort from overrated Michael Vick. Nate's final score was impressive... but he left 142 points on the bench (Cards - 96, Bucs - 46)! This massacre should have been a lot worse. Final score: Nate wins 53 - -11.

Comment your picks for next week.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Playoff Implications

I've confirmed with GKB how to appropriately apply tie-breaker #1: divisional record.

It is not used if the teams tied are in different divisions. As it stands now, this only affects the log-jam between ToeJammers, Ligers and Pitches be Crazy. Since they haven't all played each other, currently the seeds are determined by tie-breaker #3: GKB Power Ranking (you can find that on their website or facebook page, and is based on a formula I've never seen).

But all of this is moot since half the teams have a double-header on Thursday. So what top seeds are at stake?
  • SuperBad can clinch the #1 seed with a win over the Shockers. If they tie, Supa will have to beat or tie Pitches be Crazy to secure the spot.
  • The Shockers must beat SuperBad to have a chance at the regular season title. Either way... someone from the Shenanigans division will claim that prize.
  • The #2 spot will go to the Tomfoolery winner... and it's a mess at the top. THEE Beer Nuts control their own destiny and can get it by beating the Ligers and Growlers. Or they can win one game and still sneak in with the help of some convoluted scenarios. The Alcoballics need to beat the Ligers and hope TBN doesn't get two victories. The Growlers need to defeat TBN and have the Ligers win both their games. Oh... and the Beer Olympics is going on at 6:30pm so we're in for a shit-show.
  • YLLINaD basically has no chance to win the division.
  • The Ligers can actually get the #2 seed if they win both games, and TBN ties the Growlers.
 As for the bottom seeds?
  • I'd Hit That has the #12 spot, unless they beat YLLINaD and BC!BT! loses to the ToeJammers. And even then, they'd have to win convincingly enough to move up in the GKB Power Ranking Formula. With a -55 run differential... we can assume that won't happen.
  • Therefore, Brown Chicken! Brown Teneille! has the #11 spot. Horrible showing this season by those guys.
  • PHDivas probably have the most to gain if they can beat Rob and his Shockers. But as with IHT, their stats might be too horrible to move up the rankings.
We WILL be doing tournament brackets again, as always. I'll make a post about it tomorrow here on this blog. Cost is $5 per entry, so bring cash. Maria won $105 last time!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Thanks!

6 years of football and I never missed a game due to injury, yet kickball put me on my ass! Turns out I had a little case of vertigo last week and after not eating and hitting the gym before our game, I was in rough shape afterwards. Wanted to thank the hot purple catcher (don't know her name) for sticking around to help me out as well as Paige, Robert and my Pitches. Unfortunately I'm out of town for work this week to thank you in person, but just wanted to say I appreciated it.

-Deeks

Ballics vs YLL(insert the rest here) Recap



So I've been asked to recap the Alcoballics vs YLLINAD game played this past Thursday:


The game started out fun, including the pre game activities. Ballics noticed the green team setting up a table so we suggested a flip cup challenge instead of the usual chug. Three girls from each team squared off and even with the wind swirling, the ballics somehow managed to flip their way to victory. The game commenced and the ballics looked to find their once missing stellar defense as we entered the 6th inning up 3-0. But then like herpes, a flareup ensued and due to some overthrows and bad defensive decisions, YLL quickly scored 2 runs. We added no runs in the 6th so top of the 7th we go and YLL is up to kick. Here's where it gets interesting:


-YLL has 1 out with runners on First (female) and Third (male)

-Male kicker is up and I head to the mound and instruct our pitcher (Alison) to intentionally walk the kicker. She begins to do so by purposely throwing the ball way to right of the plate (3rd base line)

-Boo's & hisses commence from the YLL bench and after a 3-0 pitch count the kicker runs over the the 3rd base line and kicks the ball. I instruct the ref that the runer cant kick in front of the plate and that should be ruled a foul. The ref says no and an argument insues from both teams (sigh) in which Johnny has to come over and overule the ref saying it needs to be ruled as a foul.

-Kicker comes back and since theres so much debate on if this is a d*ck move by intentionally walking, Alison decides to pitch to him. He kicks a sac fly and drives in the 3rd base runner. 1st base also tags up so now 2 outs with a runner at 2nd. Ballics luckily get the third out and we enter the bottom of the 7th tied 3-3.

-Ballics gather their composure eflo gets on first, girl (dewberry?) bunts advancing eflo to third, buchman drives eflo home where eric does a matrix type slide to avoid the tag. (We later learned this slide was due to his knee giving out and he has been limping since. And I'm the one being called an Old Man?!)

-Ballics win in walk off fashion 4-3.

-2 team members from YLL pull a Lebron James and refuse to shake my hand after the game.

-I go to YOA ask the bartender for a serving tray, and order 10+ beers to distribute to all those members wearing green shirts. Eflo comes with me, we ask for amends and saying lets leave it on the field. YLL members agree, we cheers and I consider the matter resolved.

-I check the blog the next day and find the chat box called me a douchbag. Awesome.

-SO now its time for your input. Given we play to win the game, defensive strategy calls for when you have a runner on first and third with one out is to load the bases therefore you have a forceout at every base (including home).

Note: I decided to walk a guy kicker and even knew another guy kicker was next up so I assumed they'd tie it up but we'd still have a better chance with a forceout for the third out by intentionally walking the runner with one out.



So lemme hear your opinions. Did I pull a "Shocker Rob" and expose a weakness to the GKB rules? Also I had several people from other teams saying for next time saying "to intentionally walk you should throw the ball waist high to the catcher making in unkickable" lol. I go one step further and suggest why not just drop the ball in front of the pitchers mound making it unkickable therefore an automatic ball. But feel free to suggest other ways to be creative.

In conclusion, I hope the green team that came to the bar tell the rest of their teammates about our truce. The ballics have been involved in 2 controversal games this year (7 minute rule and now this) and this isn't what we like to be known for. We welcome all kballers to come join us at the fields or at the bar and help participate in the real reason we meet up on Thursdays.. sharing drinks, and laughs by mainly making fun of making fun of each other.

Playoff Schedule

As is usually the case... DPT has a sneak-peak at the GOKickball Tournament schedule:

View the schedule here.

A few things to keep in mind:
  • Get there early to set up your tent (in the infield dirt).
  • Since there are only 3 fields, the timing of games was masterfully crafted to give just about every team a one hour break for lunch. That is... unless you're the #8 or #9 seed. But they'll probably lose in round 2 anyway so whatever.
  • Bring trash bags to help out with your garbage.
  • Go to the Rajun Cajun afterward for some awesome dive-bar action.
As always... please let your team know the schedule. Seeds will be determined after this weeks games.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Haunted Paintball Hayride and Camping

We have 19 people signed up and paid so far for the Haunted Paintball Hayride. Id like to get 30 people if possible. If anyone else is interested, let me know. They changed the amount of people per truck load to 15, and are running two at a time, so if we can get 30, everyone would be able to be together and go at the same time. Also, I got a camp site at Little Manatee River State Park, about 10 miles southwest of the paintball complex, and will be camping there after the hayride. If interested, click this link and get a site! Each site holds 8 people and is $24 a night. They have electricity, bathrooms, and fire pits. Grillin', vapin, and drankin will be involved! All are welcome. Unlike TBN's gigs....
http://floridastateparks.reserveamerica.com/camping/Little_Manatee_River_Sp/r/campgroundDetails.do?contractCode=FL&parkId=281115&topTabIndex=CampingSpot

Halloween Party

Come party with us and 200 of your close friends Saturday Oct 29th at the new D-10 Hut decorated for Halloween.
114 S. Westland Ave. Tampa FL 33606

Event Details:
Cost: $30* - $50 until sold out! Maximum of 200 tickets will be sold.

*A limited number of tickets are available at $30. The price will increase as we reach maximum capacity. Date and Time: Saturday, October 29, 2011 from 9:00 PM - 2 AM.

Included in the price of admission: a premium alcohol open bar (however, please bring cash to tip the bartenders), DJ music, and other entertainment. Additional details will be posted soon.

Costumes are mandatory. Guests must be 21 or over (proof of age must be provided with a state-issued ID). Purchase early to secure entry (and the lowest price).






Picks Results

First off... me, Smith-Key and Litman still owe a lot of drinks from last week. So you kids need to track us down and remind us.

As for last night:

Alison has a perfect set of... picks.

Sadly for her, she's only owed one from The Todd, who missed 3 games. One week to go for the picks championship!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Power Rankings and Picks - Week 6

Picks are closed.

----------------------------------

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Exclusive Invite ONLY Very Sexy Event!!



Just an FYI if anyone is interested, several area stores are having an instore event On Sunday Oct 9th from 7pm-9pm! We are having a DJ (at Tyrone we are featuring a former Liger, CJ the DJ), there are prizes every 15 minutes including a FREE Bra and Panty set as well as giftcards, sleepwear and more! You can RSVP (or if you want to trek to Tyrone just show up!) There is also a FREE tote with a $65 purchase, so that's fun too! Invite everyone!

Store codes for the area:

Tyrone 210, Countryside 138, International 277, Wiregrass 292, Brandon 235.

You know you want to come see ME at MY store, just saying. (Carpool.)

DPT BQBL Week 4 Recap

Hello football fans. Is your fantasy football team 0-4 like mine, despite consistently scoring a decent amount of points each week? Well if you think it's time to panic and give up on the season... you're right. So let's praise the shitty players in our experimental DPT Bad QB League.

And while the league only has 8 people in it (which is the max), I'd love to see multiple leagues next season if everyone thinks it's fun and worth it. The problem is... I'm doing all this shit by hand. Not really the most efficient experience of my life. If running this league was a quarterback, it would be Luke McCown in week 2 (6-19, 59 yds, 4 INT). So we definitely need to come up with a way to handle more leagues.

Souder vs. Bito
Bito started the week strong thanks to his boy McNizzle... who got his second vote of confidence (+10 pts) in as many weeks! This could go on for awhile until they put in Ponder... which will net some big points if it happens during a game. Unfortunately, Eli Manning screwed up by playing well, allowing Cam Newton to lead Souder to victory with a beautiful pick-six (+25 pts). Final score: Souder wins 23-21.

Smithkey vs. Chandler
Smithkey is frustrated. He's killing everyone in point total, yet is only 6th place on the standings. He thought he had a sure victory with Romo throwing two pick-sixes (+50 pts)... but the Falcons didn't help by laying a goose egg. Oh... and Mark Sanchez. That guy. He was offended I called him a "typical New York asshole." So he responded with a pick-six of his own, and two fumble-sixes. Add to that zero TDs, under 40% comp, under 150 yards and 5 turnovers in total... holy shit where's my calculator? 105 points, a new record that might not be broken this season. Final score: Chandler wins 120-56.

Nate vs. Litman
First round pick (and BQBL all-star) Tarvaris Jackson had a good game? 3 TDs and +300 yards? There's no way the Scrapbooking Litmans can recover from such poise! Whats that you say? The injured Michael Vick threw for 400+ yards and ran for 75+ on the ground? Sorry Nate... just be glad you're 2-2 despite only 25 total points. Final score: Litman wins 17-5.

Kyle vs. Gorecki
This match-up wouldn't have been close if not for the Broncos once again saying that Orton is their guy... and not Tebow (+10 pts). But Gorecki neeeeds some hot Tebow action. Even though Orton put up 52 points in an attempt to win Gorecki's favor. But oh my... Flacco countered with 61 points of his own. I actually watched a lot of that Flacco-Sanchez shit show just because of the BQBL implications. It was a glorious mess. Final score: Kyle wins 76-70.

Comment your selections when you have them.

Monday, October 3, 2011

MudBash

Deeks apparently didn't have posting rights (if anyone out there wants them, let us know). So here's an email he sent me about MudBash:

--------------------

If anyone in the league is interest in participating in MudBash, Amy and I are putting together a group. It's November 5th in Land O' Lakes. Information can be found at www.championsmudbash.com. Our group is doing the 11:00am heat. It's individual times, but you can participate as a group and we'll probably have a theme.....to go with the alcohol, hot chicks and mud.
 
I've attached a couple of pics of my teammates for motivation. Have them give me a hollar if they want to roll. 
 
 
 -Deeks
 
-------------------------------------------