Wednesday, October 5, 2011

DPT BQBL Week 4 Recap

Hello football fans. Is your fantasy football team 0-4 like mine, despite consistently scoring a decent amount of points each week? Well if you think it's time to panic and give up on the season... you're right. So let's praise the shitty players in our experimental DPT Bad QB League.

And while the league only has 8 people in it (which is the max), I'd love to see multiple leagues next season if everyone thinks it's fun and worth it. The problem is... I'm doing all this shit by hand. Not really the most efficient experience of my life. If running this league was a quarterback, it would be Luke McCown in week 2 (6-19, 59 yds, 4 INT). So we definitely need to come up with a way to handle more leagues.

Souder vs. Bito
Bito started the week strong thanks to his boy McNizzle... who got his second vote of confidence (+10 pts) in as many weeks! This could go on for awhile until they put in Ponder... which will net some big points if it happens during a game. Unfortunately, Eli Manning screwed up by playing well, allowing Cam Newton to lead Souder to victory with a beautiful pick-six (+25 pts). Final score: Souder wins 23-21.

Smithkey vs. Chandler
Smithkey is frustrated. He's killing everyone in point total, yet is only 6th place on the standings. He thought he had a sure victory with Romo throwing two pick-sixes (+50 pts)... but the Falcons didn't help by laying a goose egg. Oh... and Mark Sanchez. That guy. He was offended I called him a "typical New York asshole." So he responded with a pick-six of his own, and two fumble-sixes. Add to that zero TDs, under 40% comp, under 150 yards and 5 turnovers in total... holy shit where's my calculator? 105 points, a new record that might not be broken this season. Final score: Chandler wins 120-56.

Nate vs. Litman
First round pick (and BQBL all-star) Tarvaris Jackson had a good game? 3 TDs and +300 yards? There's no way the Scrapbooking Litmans can recover from such poise! Whats that you say? The injured Michael Vick threw for 400+ yards and ran for 75+ on the ground? Sorry Nate... just be glad you're 2-2 despite only 25 total points. Final score: Litman wins 17-5.

Kyle vs. Gorecki
This match-up wouldn't have been close if not for the Broncos once again saying that Orton is their guy... and not Tebow (+10 pts). But Gorecki neeeeds some hot Tebow action. Even though Orton put up 52 points in an attempt to win Gorecki's favor. But oh my... Flacco countered with 61 points of his own. I actually watched a lot of that Flacco-Sanchez shit show just because of the BQBL implications. It was a glorious mess. Final score: Kyle wins 76-70.

Comment your selections when you have them.

7 comments:

Litman said...

I'm starting Seattle and Chicago.

M. Gorecki said...

70 pts and I lose?!! WTF! What do I need next time to secure a victory? A penis pic? Fine. Litman, go get your roomates phone and post Bitos anteater all over the net.

Chandler said...

Bito doesn't play QB. Let alone on any of your teams.

Ryan said...

It was a testicle.

Litman said...

Chad Henne out for the rest of the season.

Chandler said...

Woohoo!

Nate Dawg said...

Chan I'll go Philly and Buffalo. Hoping they fuck each other up.