Thursday, March 31, 2011

GAMES ARE CANCELED

That's right. CANCELED!

No word on if/when there will be make-up games.  Stay tuned.

Y'all Babies Betta Stay Outta Lakeland!


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I just killed my boyfriend



So if there's one thing you know about me, it's that I looooooove Lady Gaga. I entered a contest to meet her when she's here for her show on April 16th. This contest is won by having the most votes come April 13th. That's where you come in. Please help me score the most votes to meet her by voting once per email address per day. If you're really creative, maybe you can register multiple accounts to vote more than once per day since, let's face it, we all have a few email addresses. They won't send you spam if you tell them not to.

There's some pretty stiff competition so I need all the help I can get. Spread the word to everyone with an email address! Your coworkers, family, long-lost cousins, etc. By clicking the share link, you can post to different places like facebook or use the permalink to email. If I win this contest, I will do something really cool for all of you to show my appreciation. Go on, try me.

If you're not so familiar with Gaga or don't like her (I still expect you to vote), this picture was inspired by the Paparazzi video.

Thanks in advance for being awesome. You know how much this means to me!

Here's the link to vote.

fify

Picks - Week 8

No DPT Power Rankings this week.

Get your picks in by 4pm on Thursday.  Write some commentary.  Collect drinks if you're owed.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Picnic Island Adventure Run 2011

Plenty of time to get ready kids. Lots of talkers but some how i end up at the starting line by myself.

http://www.tamparaces.com/PicnicIsland/

Date

Friday Race Dates are May 13, June 17, July 15 @ 6:45 PM

Additional Date Information

6:45 p.m.

Address

Picnic Island Park
7404 Picnic Island Blvd.

Fees

Early Registration is $30 and $35 on race day; Do all 3 races for $75

Registration Closing Date

Wednesday, May 11, 2011 @ 12:00 PM

Brief Description

Course: 3.6 miles of Adventure Running in Tampa's best kept secret... Picnic Island Park. This is an off-road course with several great challenges added. Your feet might get wet, you may have to crawl or jump or scamper, but you'll have the most fun at a race you've ever had. When you are done, there will be a great post-race party and feast as you watch the sun go down over the bay. We have a great DJ, great awards and more!

Website

Check out all the race details, photos, and maps at http://www.tamparaces.com/PicnicIsland/

Crystals Cannon Leg


Last Week of GOKickball - Spring 2011

The last week of games and tournament are upon us.  It's been a crazy season filled with the trials and minor-tribulations of starting up a new league.  And while there was a learning curve for all parties involved, the quality of kickball never suffered*.  Games were played, runs were scored and we will soon crown season and tournament champions!

During the season, the following things were established and/or tweaked based solely on player feedback:
  • Rule changes (munting & pitching line encroachment)
  • Game-time distribution
  • Week 8 schedule
  • Division organization
  • Field Layout
  • Base improvements
  • Strike-zone cone improvements
  • Allowing player-refs at 1st, 3rd and soon to be 2nd
  • Bar selection
  • End-of-Season-Party date
Maybe I'm making too big of a deal about a league that is willing to evolve with its customers during a season.  But I refuse to forget the lack of communication we had with our previous kickball provider.

So this week, basically all seeds are up for grabs.  The OC has locked up the Shenanigans Division, but needs help to win the #1 seed and season title.  The winner of Growlers/Alcoballics will get the Tomfoolery title, with a tie going to the Growlers.  The Bunt Chasers, Shockers and DAaLtS will comprise the last two spots.  Everything else... who knows.

The tournament bracket has been posted (kickball info section of DPT) and will be filled in on Friday.  We will be gambling again this year, so bring $5 per bracket (two entries max) on Saturday to participate.  Be sure to put the total runs scored in the final game for the tie-breaker.

Every team needs to provide refs at the tournament.  If you aren't playing... you should be reffing.

Final note:
GKB corporate is coming down to watch our games on Thursday.  They're very excited and appreciative that we chose to give them our business this season, so they wanted to check it out with their own eyes.  Pete G. (Director of Operations) and Daniel L. (Business Manager) will be in attendance, so please say "hello" and give them whatever feedback you desire, good or bad.

*As an example of how the quality of kickball can suffer, take a look at the old WAKA Bayshore Division this season.  A "Pick Me Up" team that was moderate at best in our group is 7-0 with 38 runs scored and 3 runs allowed.  This indicates that our replacement teams are filled with no-talent ass-clowns.  What a joke.

Monday, March 28, 2011

GOKickball Stuff

Comment the scores of your games on Thursday, and I'll update the stats.

Tournament
Tournament is this Saturday, and the schedule for it will be posted soon.  I assume it'll be the same kinda all-day deal we're used to, but with less games played since we have less teams.  The last 4 teams have play-in games.  After the tournament, it's Ragin Cajun time.

We will be playing at Doc Nance field... which is the original field we started on.  Since the games are in the afternoon, we won't need lights (they aren't fixed anyway).  Our games this Thursday are still at Taylor fields.

Grills are allowed in the park, but not on the baseball field.  So just line up your grills on the fence outside the field, do your cooking there, and eat it at your tent.  Consider it like a fancy restaurant... where the cooking and dining areas are not the same.  I hear the Superbad grill is on Dirty Dining anyway.

We'll be voting on Crystal Pitcher (unless someone suggests a better name) at the fields.


Season Party
The party is scheduled for May 7th at Wings Gone Wild.  More on this later, but you should already have it on your calendar.  Tell your teammates since only about half the league reads the DPTs.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Knowlton and Tony @ The U.S.A Vs. Argentina Game?

35 seconds in.


Your $10 Applebees Gift Card is in the mail.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Tonight's Games

Tonight we head back to the smaller field at Taylor... and play at 6:30, 7:30 and 8:30.  But GKB needs your help:

Bull and myself will NOT be there tonight.  And since I'm going out of town straight from work... the measurement wheel in the back of my Jeep won't be there either.  This means the GKB refs are setting up the fields.

If ANYONE from Superbad, Alcoballics, Pitches Be Crazy, and/or Off Constantly can get there for the 6:30 game, please do.  They need refs for 1st, 3rd (and we should start putting them on 2nd).  Also, the more people that approve the field set-up before games the better.  Bases are 60 feet (about 20 manly paces).

Even last night, the number of volunteers from other teams to help ref were piss-poor.  Asking one paid ref to make every call is a little ridiculous, and yet we never help them out.  Shame on you, kickballers.  You're all grounded.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Southeast Kickball Fest 2011 - ATL



http://www.southeastkickballfest.com/


A couple teams from KBS have been talking about taking a road trip up to ATL for this open Go-Kickball tourney at the end of July...a team can register between now and May 18th for $395/team.

This was a pretty big event last year with over 100 teams (mostly GKB teams from the Georgia area). They provide shuttles from the hotel to the fields, sponsor parties, and flip cup tourney also.

Their hotel deal is $109/night in downtown ATL and can be split up to 6 ways.

Surely you guys can get a few teams to rep GKB Tampa, right??

Picks Weeks 4 & 7

One complaint we've gotten this year, is the lack of variety in the picks due to only 5 games being played each night.  So... let's get fucking crazy and have a

DOUBLE PICKS WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!

Wow... that was fun.

Picks are CLOSED!

Man Brings Beer to DWI Court Appearance

Brilliant!

There’s insouciance, and then there’s another level reserved entirely for people who just don’t give a F**

And then there’s Keith Gruber, of Swan Lake, NY, who showed up to his felony DWI charge hearing at Sullivan County Courthouse drunk.

Oh, and he was an hour and a half late to his scheduled appearance. By the time Gruber sauntered into the courthouse, he was obviously drunk, carrying an open can of Busch beer, plus four more cans in a bag.

According to the Middeltown Times Herald-Record, the judge asked Gruber if he was enjoying his “liquid lunch,” and when Gruber replied in the affirmative, the judge threw him in the can with no bail.

http://hypervocal.com/news/2011/what-could-go-wrong-man-brings-a-few-brewskies-to-his-dwi-court-appearance/

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What it all really looked like last Thursday!

I feel like this is well...

I just wanted to get in on the MS Paint fun...this is my first time but I had some help. Feel free to name call and hate me all you want, it's fun.

Power Rankings - Week 7

Here are some rushed rankings... just to get this shit off my desk.

Monday, March 21, 2011

One Way the OC Hates Freedom

The GSoJ is now extinct, thanks to OC and their cats.

Boom Boom Boom

Gotta keep up with the crappy posts to keep your profile pic alive...

Kickers Guide: How to Capitalize on Chandler's Fielding Positions

Well it's been a while since I've posted, so here are some tips on how to take advantage of Chandler's fielding positions below. Please explain to your girls that it's nothing personal. Usually.


Captains Guide - Positions

This is for captains:

Quick-reference guide of where to place your  players (male vs. female).  Please remember to tell your girls NOT to stray one inch from this diagram.

Ligers Beat Themselves Constantly; Dominate the Blame Game

Well, the Ligers vs. OC game turned slightly ugly last week.  I was going to do a whole recap of it with some hot MSPaint action, but I had yet another crazy long weekend.  I also had many long discussions (emails) with the OC captains so its almost been talked to death at this point.  But, this is a blog, so I'll rant the facts in bullet point fashion:
  • Maria was standing in the 3rd base-path, and Crum did run her over heading toward 3rd base.  In my opinion he actually did a decent job not knocking her head off, rather, he kinda helped her to the ground after contact.
  • After the collision (which I do consider obstruction) Crum idiotically tried to run home with the ball 3 feet away from him.  He was quickly pegged out.  Arguments ensued.  Some of OC claimed the obstruction allows him home (not true).  Some of OC said the obstruction meant he could stay on 3rd.  The Ligers felt that him attempting to run home was at his own peril, and thus he was out.  Obviously none of this is addressed in GKB's rules.
  • We looked up the official MLB rules after the game.  Basically, if the ref is allowed to call the obstruction "dead ball" or not.  If he says "dead ball," then Crum stays at 3rd.  This is eventually what was called, albeit on accident because none of us were really well-versed in MLB's rule.  If the ref did not call "dead ball" and let play continue (which initially happened during the play), then Crum is out for trying to run home and getting pegged.  This situation is no different than a player running through first, making a move toward second and getting tagged out.
So there are two acceptable calls.  The ref stumbled upon the one that helped OC more than the Ligers.  I have no problem with that, but I guess after a few "bad" calls two weeks ago, combined with some "questionable" calls last week, topped off with every "close" call not going our way... my team's frustration boiled over.

We were just playing down to OC's level and arguing everything as a group.  You know... testing it out?  Seeing the hype?

But seriously... the Ligers were legitimately shut out.  So none of this matters because we couldn't score any runs.  And I think the entire league needs to go a little easier on the refs AND each other.  Calling Off Constantly the new "Balls N Dolls" (*ahem* Maria) is every bit as ridiculous as calling Bull an asshole and saying he should be hated (*ahem* Julie).

And calling the ref a "bitch" (*ahem* Rollo) probably should have gotten a lot of people thrown out.  If we were still reffing ourselves, everyone would have been tossed.  However, telling the ref that "God hates liars" (*ahem* Steve) is pretty damn funny.

As for Crum, he really had no intention of hitting or hurting Maria.  I've known him for years and played many seasons of softball on his team at UF.  He's a great guy and I'd totally let him babysit a child that I was in charge of babysitting.  But I get on base all the time, and I dodge girls all the time, and I've never run one over.  I've also never sent one to the hospital with a compound leg fracture (*ahem* Nate).  So everyone should probably just expect girls to be in the base-paths because it's never going to change.

I think that about covers it.  When the issue at 3rd base happened, the guy who was supposed to be reffing that base wasn't really paying attention (*ahem* Caruso).  Hell... I think he only reffed one inning and went home.  But Frank's self-reflection is contagious... and if my team keeps losing their cool ever week, then I'm going to have to conclude that we're the problem.

Enjoy your damn Monday.

I go thru EBATES to buy GROUPONS (and other stuff)

If you're not signed up - you should be...it's free.
You get 3% off Groupons (so Yard of Ale deal is even better)

Click the pic to go there:


Also get a $5 cashback (have to earn more than $5.00 in cash back before it's issued, though.)

Nothing fishy about it...promise. Love you. Don't change.

Yard of Ale



Today's Groupon is for Yard of Ale. $10 for a $20 Gift Certificate for Food and Drink. That's like getting beers for $1 instead of $2. For those of you who may owe lots of drinks, or just like lots of drinks, hop on it.

http://gr.pn/fd6P8x

Friday, March 18, 2011

White People learning to Dance Trini like.. hahaha

According to Chandler, I need to contribute more on the DPT page.. So I decided since I have a life and I am usually recovering on Friday's, I can post some nonsense to the blog. Thus, please appreciate the attempt in this YouTube posting of a mix of SOCA from 2011 Carnival in Trinidad set to some white people "like Chandler and Alison" keeping time. They actually do a pretty darn good job!

Picks Recap - 6

Caruso had a perfect week in picks... again... and wins one drink from Nate and Paige.  I'm not really sure how to comprehend this.

I'm off to the Transitions Hooter's Tent for free beer and wings all day.  So MSPaint, recap and stats updates will have to wait. 

Frank, I sincerely hope you don't cause anymore death and destruction.  I imagine you did a lot of self-reflection last night after a loss to Robes, who's playing mere days after being pieced back together.  Apparently we have the technology, and we can re-build him.

Robes

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Picks - Week 6

---CLOSED---

Get your picks in by 4pm on Thursday.

Oh... and the make-up game is Wednesday the 23rd (next week). So plan accordingly. We're going to be able to use the large field for that night only... so there shouldn't be a 6:30pm game.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Butterfly Effect Part III - TKO in TOKYO (Leaked Footage)

I came across leaked footage of Frank's new movie. I believe this is the scene after Frank causes the earthquake/tsunami, and rescues the magical geishas from the forbidden pagoda.  They then apparently use their spells to try to cool the nuclear reactors from melting down.

All the titles I came up with sounded douchey...like this guy

When you watch this video, the awkwardness will sweep over you. Much as I expect it sweeps over the newly sober STD risks MTV pays to have pseudo-sex with this guy when they wake up in the morning smelling like tanning oil and regret. Also, he's probably going to get gunned down sometime soon since he decided it'd be a good idea to mention slavery to Snoop Dogg (Comedy Central didn't air the "joke" saying Trump likes property, Snoops ancestors used to be property).

Butterfly Effect Part III - TKO in TOKYO


Dream Matchup

DPT and MLoop finally meet in the darkened back alley/bus ramp after 8th period.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Help me raise some money to fight cancer

Hola, loyal DPT readers and contributors. Usually I'm posting here to make crude jokes and insult people, but right now I have a serious and worthy charge: raising money to fight cancer.

The OC isn't just about winning, arguing with referees, singing loud karaoke songs, and winning, we're also about raising funds for righteous causes. As such, several of our team members are participating in Relay for Life Davis Islands as Team Happy Endings. My personal goal is $500, as this is the first even mildly selfless fundraising task I've ever undertaken, I felt that would be a good achievable goal. I'm getting close, and I'd really like to eclipse it. So if you have a few extra dollars, or need to make a sizable donation for tax purposes, please click on the icon below and help me help others live with cancer, beat cancer, find a cure for cancer, and fight against cancer. (Shout out to Maria who has already been kind enough to donate to the cause)





Thanks, GKB Rapey and Stabby divisions.

Your pal,

Jack from Off Constantly

PS You evil f-ers from that other league who still keep up with this blog could use the good karma. See y'all in the summer!

Yard of Ale on Thursday

So as you all know, this Thursday is Lá Fhéile Pádraig.  Or maybe you didn't.  Regardless, everyone is encouraged to wear green trinkets and crap at the fields.  But what about the bar?


Turns out Yard of Ale is doing some block party thing.  You can read about it here, but I'll give you the summary:
  • It goes from 6pm - 3am.
  • $5 yards and sangria
  • Live band, karaoke, door prizes
  • Costs $15 or $20, depending on if you have a penis, and they're limiting the number of tickets sold to men.
  • Money raised goes to PAL
Whaaaaat??  That's right... the douchey club that is hosting this event is "allegedly" donating it to PAL, the organization that took thousands of dollars from us each year and then allowed WAKA to monopolize their fields and services.

Johnny is looking into us getting our normal specials... but I give that about a 0% chance of happening this week.  And I probably wouldn't go anyway, due to their choice of charity.

So does anyone want to suggest a backup plan?

Monday, March 14, 2011

St Pattys Day Theme


Not sure if anyone else has a theme game or anything, but I thought it would be cool to do a St Pattys Day League Wide theme. Ill bring some green food coloring if anyone wants some green beer. Everyone wear their St Pattys shit.

Minimal Clay / Maximized Chilling..... to scale


Power Rankings - Week 6


Oh... and an excellent post/MSpaint over at OC's corner of the web.  I can't comment on the accuracy of those allegations.

Tournament Bracket

Unless you have been living under a rock or are communist and just don't like sports, I am sure you are aware that the NCAA March Madness Tournament will be starting soon. The best part about the tournament is always filling out your brackets and getting the chance to talk smack to your friends when you correctly pick those mid major Cinderella upsets. I am sure most of you are already in a league or four but here is another bracket for you to fill out and waste time with while at work.


Get in the action now:


Group: DPT Diaper Dandies
Password: kickball

Friday, March 11, 2011

Fields

Frank...

Instead of eye-balling it... here is the field with two 100x100 foot squares.  I reckon you need at least 100 feet on each side to play.  The bases are 60 feet, and this gives you 40 feet of outfield before hitting a home-run over a fence.



As you can see, you can position these any way you want... but you can't get away from having part of the base paths in the clay.  I don't think there's anything wrong with running bases in the clay.  But... I think your drawing was a bit too off-scale.

Ligers Tie Growlers to Remain Undefeated; Ignore That Whole "Loss" Issue

I'm walking a little funny this morning after getting pounded in the ass by the officiating last night.

The Growlers played a great game and took a legitimate 3-1 lead heading into the last inning.  The Ligers had some hope, since the inning coincidentally began with the top of their order.  In the process of scoring two runs to tie the game, a close (aka: blown) call at first base gave the Growlers the outs they needed to close the inning 3-3.

Liger D is quite large... so the kids in blue weren't worried despite allowing the lead-off guy on base.  The next girl however... another close (blown) call at first allowed Growlers on 1st and 2nd with no outs.  Fast-forward a few kickers, and the bases were loaded with 2 outs and Rob up to kick.

Paige then walked him.  That's right... it was a walk-walk-off.  Game over.

It was also the SECOND time in the game that Paige walked Rob with the bases loaded.  I guess any time she sees a dude name "Rob" she immediately wants to start giving him gifts while allowing him to score all over her.  Hey... some people have weird fetishes.

After the game, our ref (Trevor) came up to reiterate that his calls were correct.  I'm OK with that... because I'll go to my grave believing that they were horribly wrong.  My issue is not the calls itself, but rather: how can someone 60 feet away looking down a parallel angle judge a timing play at first base?  That set-up is asking for controversy.  And I do NOT blame the refs for this.  They're doing the best they can with what they have.

Bull and I personally helped ref the first two games on Field 2.  Yet nobody stayed late to help our game.  This really has to change.  I'm suggesting a few things today, including giving teams that don't provide refs a Tyrus (aka: 0.5 points deducted from your standings).  We used to call these "Paper Forfeits."  I don't think GKB will take this route, since they're afraid releasing the Tyrus will cause the entire league to start lying and playing dumb when confronted with facts.  Science has yet to prove this is contagious though.

The "Kegger," however, is quite contagious.
So anyway... Growlers got lucky. And any other team that doesn't provide help for the refs deserves dick punches. It's complete bullshit for people to say the officiating sucks, when those same people don't help out.  One person can not accurately call an entire game behind home-plate. KBS has refs at the pitchers mound... and they still suck and miss runs coming across the plate (while they're watching the play in the field).  No help = bad calls. 

Dick punches = your future.

New Setup, Recap, Constructive Criticism

So I was in bed last night reflecting the night and how we lost to TheeeeBN and thinking about my previous posts and what we could do to get the league to where we and GKB want it to be.
I think I have been a bit harsh, and somewhat counterproductive in our efforts to make this league a success. I spoke to Johnny last night after our game, and he said he knows about the blog, reads it, and the cat is out of the bag.

So instead of me being a dick and just saying the negatives about the league I would like to talk about some of the positives and some areas which we feel could be improved to make our league awesome. Also, I invite Johnny to read this blog and comment on some of the things we touch on. One of the downfalls of WAKA was that there was a disconnect between the league rep and the players. I think Johnny has done a good job at addressing and responding to people's emails, and it would be great for him to add his two cents on the blog.

First, I know that there have been issues with the fields, which we knew were going to have before the season started. No big deal. The lights not being on in time, while may not be GKB's fault but the City of Tampa, I do feel like GKB should go to bat for us, and ensure that they are cut on in time. If we need to send emails to the city, let us know and we will.

The bases I thought were a lot better this week. I didnt see anyone slipping and I think the issue was addressed and fixed. The new cones at home plate were great too, and the lines for the fields looked straight.

I also wanted to comment about the YOA. Whoever got the deal for $2 abita, yuengling, etc, food deals, maybe gorecki, did an awesome job. We spent 8 dollars last night and left with a great buzz. Maybe I'm a light weight. YOA also added two porto-johns outside to accomodate the bottleneck at the bathrooms. There was also a lot of WAKA folks mingling at our bar.. I'd have to say things are definitely looking up.

Field setup: The new fields are small. Two games at three times works. I think if we do this setup next week we will be fine.
Negatives:
Time constraints. Our game lasted 5 innings last night, and was a really close game. Currently GKB's rule is, if there's 15 minutes left, the current inning becomes the last inning no matter what. In the top of the inning TBN got out 1-2-3, in 5 minutes. We were up and got out in like 6-7 minutes leaving 5 more minutes to start the next inning. They called the game.
The Largest reason I think most of us were drawn to this league was the mention of being able to play 7 innings. I also think, besides the supplying of umpires, this should be the main marketing point for GKB in the future.
We drive a full hour to get to the fields every Thursday, spend probably 10 dollars in gas each week to get there. It really is a let down when the refs call the game in the 5th. I think most people in the league would pony up another 5 dollars each to be able to play the full 7 innings no matter how long it takes. If GKB isnt up for that, another solution would be to do like they do in rec softball. Start the clock and when it runs down to Zero, the inning finishes. If the home team is up and winning, the game's over. If the visiting team is up and is winning, the home team gets to kick. If the home team gets out before the clock hits zero, another full inning occurs. It works fine in softball, and should work fine in kickball. if anything it only adds another 10 minutes to the games. I think it should be our priveledge to be given an extra ten minutes than to get 10 minutes taken away from us.
This last issue is probably just me being a dick and it really isnt that big of an issue and I hope it doesnt overshadow the rest of my rambling, but it seems like most of the ref's dont want to be out there, and for the most part are not having a good time. Can we let them drink while reffing or at least get a smile out of them?
Overall, I think the reason that we do come off as dicks and are very demanding, is because we have so much passion for this game and want to take pride in our league, one thing I think both the players and GKB have in common. Instead of me being counter productive I hope that we can work well with GKB and whatever other networks we deal with, in an effort to make this league 10x better than WAKA ever was.
BTW the game with theeeee Beer Nuts was awesome, and although we lost, we had a blast and it came down to the last play of the game. I was happier losing this game than I was winning previous games. I think thats cool, and how it should be.
Frankbox

Picks Recap - Week 5

In the long and illustrious history of DPT gambling on kickball games... never has ANYONE missed every game.  Caruso has tried to do this many times, but always managed to get at least one game correct.

I know such a feat is diminished by there being 5 games instead of 8.  However, the accomplishment still proves that you don't know shit about kickball.

THREE people reached this milestone last night: Alison, Gorecki and Nate (who text in his picks prior to game-time).

Jack and Caruso managed to only miss two games, and thus win a beer from each of the 3 Losers (capital "L").  Congrats.

Jack, you should require a hug from Gorecki when he pays you.  Then immediately dump the beer out on his feet.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Picks Week 5

Alright... new week... new field... new game times... I FEAR CHANGE!!!  Seriously, I do.  That's why I voted for McCain.  But let's not go there.

Last week (before God ruined the fun) we did a great job providing commentary.  I'll post mine after I eat my one meal of the day.

In the meantime, you should check out some excellent blogging going on over at the OC site today (Post 1 and Post 2).

Get your picks in by 4pm on Thursday!

New Fields!


ESPN’s GoKickball Gameday



Reece - Dawn is approaching on this Rainy Survival Thursday. The top 6 teams are hours away from their monumental showdowns. We will learn who the contenders and who the pretenders are. Gameday gets your day started next.

Announcer - Welcome to GoKickball Gameday, pouring drinks by Yard Of Ale

Reece - Welcome to Tampa, FL Kickball fans. It will be electric in just a few short hours when the top 6 teams are set to battle each other. TBN vs. Superbad, Alcoballics vs. Off Constantly, and Growlers vs. Ligers. Alongside Dick Vitale, Digger Phelps and Jay Bilas; I'm Reece Davis. Today we also have Coach Bob Knight with us. Let's begin with your Upset Alerts.

Knight - You know, I'm so shocked with Reece's lack of knowledge about upset alerts that I don't care who wins those games tonight. We're not wasting time talking about 4 teams that are a combined 1-11. That is chicken shit!



Reece - We'd like to apologize to our families and young people watching for that comment. Moving on let's get to a matchup of 2-1 Teams in Superbad vs. The Beer Nuts.

Bilas - Superbad will be able to control the tempo and dominate this game. I'm not sure there is a player in the league like CJ with his ability and skill on the mound. Superbad wins this game easily.

Knight - I think Superbad will want to get regrouped after one point being the best team in the country. I think they worked very hard the past couple of days to get back to that positive. Superbad gets a statement win tonight.

Vitale - I like Superbad. This is an outstanding team defensively.

Digger - I don't think Thee Beer Nuts defense can stop the Superbad offense. Superbad wins it tonight.



Reece - Moving on to The Alcoballics vs. Off Constantly. Break it down for us fellas.

Vitale - What are the Alcoballics made off. Tonight my friends we find out. Well I'll tell you in the Alcoballics previous game it was flat out one of the worst offense efficiency games I've ever seen from them. How will they react to avoid losing another one? I really like the Alcoballics defensively. They are going to do a great job there. I believe if they can score 1 run, then they win this game. If not it's a tie.

Bilas - I'm going to take Off Constantly here even though I think it's going to be a rock fight. It's going to be difficult to score runs on the Alcoballics Top Defense which only allowed 2 runs all season. But the Alcoballics offense just isn't gelling like Off Constantly's. Look for that to be the difference maker.

Digger - I don't think the offense will be there for the Alcoballics tonight. I think Off Constantly wins the game.

Knight - I think the Alcoballics defense is too good. Defense wins period. Alcoballics win tonight.



Reece - It was a tough choice this week and now for our Game Of The Week. Ligers vs. Growlers.

Bilas - This is a battle of the top 2 offense teams in the league. The Ligers with 18 runs scored and The Growlers with 16. They each have played similar opponents with similar results. First place is an unfamiliar spot for the Ligers this deep into the season. I think if the Ligers don't play smart defensively they are in for a tough time. I do think there is too much pressure on the team to make it to 4-0 and they will falter tonight. Growlers win in the late innings.

Digger - I think the Ligers know this is a payback game. The last 3 non-tournament games they are 0-3 vs. The Yeagabombs losing those games by a combined score of 16-4. The fact is this, if the Ligers can keep the Growlers off the bases and they can. Then I think the Ligers win this game.

Knight - I agree with Digger in this regard. I think The Ligers are very capable of shutting down the Growlers offense. Ligers win a close on tonight.

Vitale - It would seem the likelihood that The Ligers can spend the entire first half of the season flying under the radar in first place would be about the same as Charlie Sheen appearing completely coherent in an interview but somehow that has happened. The Liger have been a little stealth now and have the opportunity to make the big splash. But let me tell you this America, the Growlers have a person who can't kick the ball as far as my 2 year great granddaughter can. Are you serious? Had the Ref ruled it a MUNT you wouldn't have this special opportunity to be invited to Jay Bilas's Kicking Fundamentals Class. My pick is The Ligers Baby!! I love the spirit and the passion of their fans, don’t you? This place is rockin!





Reece - Enjoy your kickball Thursday

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

New Division Name Contest


In case you didnt know we are running a contest on our division page at donkynoms.com. Join us in trying to come up with the catchiest, coolest, most lights out names for both our Division, and Conferences at our new hood away from home, Taylor fields.


Some examples include:

The classic, "Rapey and Stabby"

"Muggy and Robby"

"Bloody and Crippy"

"Crackey and Methey"

"Glockey and Mossberg"


The best, most innovative idea will be chosen and hoisted into the anals of history in GKB, and will be given their choice of prizes between a bullet proof vest, or a free gravestone across the street to be carved at a later date.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Smithkey & Litman... You MUST Do This

Uhh... not sure why I called out you two. Just seems, natural?


GKB Field & Schedule Change

So last Thursday at about 2pm (5 hours until game time), the City of Tampa informed us that there was an issue with the power source at Doc Nance Field... and thus it would not be fixed in time to play kickball.  Ok... shit happens.

Yesterday at 2:30pm (76.5 hours until game time), the City of Tampa decided to expand on what that issue was.  Apparently, the large oak tree behind the home plate bleachers fell over, crushing said bleachers and taking down some lines with it.  It isn't clear what part of the light system was damaged (transformer? power supply? Dilithium crystals?), but it was told to GKB that it won't be fixed any time soon.  Naturally, Johnny asked: "Well how long ARE we talking here?"  To which a city official replied: "Well something similar happened to another field once and it took a few months."

So... Doc Nance field does not have lighting for "a few months."  Let me be the first to say... if the city wanted to have these lights fixed tomorrow, they would be.  However, I imagine the bureaucracy and red-tape required to hire a vendor to come fix the problem is a slow one.  The delay might even be related to quarterly budget issues.  I'm speculating at this point... but the city sure as hell got the tree out of there ASAP (photos below).  Then again, it seems Tampa has an abundance of tree trimmers while being a bit light on fire-ant killers.


Which leads us to our next issue: what about the rest of the season?  Securing Doc Nance was difficult enough, requiring a select few of us to convince everyone it was 1) large enough 2) centrally located 3) not rapey 4) only a little stabby 5) decently secluded 6) able to handle all our cars and 7) available for rental.  Any other field GKB finds at the last second will easily not meet a handful of those seven points.

Are we fucked?  You bet.  Proper fucked?  Maybe not.

To add to the madness of finding a replacement field, it turns out the City of Tampa doesn't have one park manager.  Parks are divided up by region and controlled by different people.  So the guy that runs Doc Nance can really only tell us about the availability of fields in the immediate area.  Other options require multiple phone calls, messages and waiting for contact (which started immediately as soon as we were told the bad news yesterday).  I personally went to two fields after work to take measurements.

Ultimately, GKB just needs to pick a place... and then brace for the shit-storm our group is nationally known for.

Johnny did find a few fields that are the size of Doc Nance (or close),  but all of those were either not available for Thursdays or are not rented out to private groups outside of Little League.  So for this week (if not more) we're playing at Taylor Field (611 W. Indiana Ave, Tampa, 33603), which is a few blocks north of Doc Nance on the other side of the cemetery.  Of course... this field isn't big enough for us.  It appears we can only tightly fit two games at once.  So the schedule is changing, and we'll have three time slots of 6:30pm, 7:30pm and 8:30pm.  This is no different than we had with WAKA a couple of years ago.  The NEW schedule will be posted tonight.  Only teams who currently have a 7:15pm game are eligible for the 6:30pm slot.  So while it sucks, you only have to show up 45 minutes earlier (this is our way of making Frank late to games).

We're going to have to just make the most of it.  In the meantime, email Tyrus and ask him what he used to cut down that tree.

Drunk Bull

Monday, March 7, 2011

GKB Season Party

We need to start planning the season party.  GKB doesn't typically do things like we're used to... so we'll be putting together a team of people to help out (charity things, flip-cup, bar deals, etc).  Regardless, there's not enough time to throw all this together DURING the season.

So... here's what we're looking at:

April 2nd - GKB Tournament day.  Will be be too tired and drunk?  Does it ruin Rajin Cajin' trip?

April 9th - Gorecki wedding day.  Way too many people are going to this.

April 16th - Jimmy Buffett Concert.  Too many GKB kids going to this.

April 23rd - Easter Saturday.  Might cause people to be too hungover for Jesus.

April 30th - Off Constantly Wedding... not an option since we won't pick a date that excludes an entire team.

May 7th - This is the official party date.  Details to come soon. Mark it down.

Please comment and vote on the above dates.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Paige was just drunk...

...she wasn't violent or anything.




Wonder what WAKA thinks of this? I mean this is going to be all over the place for a long time. People still watch The WB right? Right?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Friday Time Waster

No kickball thanks to the city...and we suspect WAKA but that can't be confirmed.

How was the bar turn out? Did anyone go heckle at PAL Fields?

Don't forget Drunk-a-Palozza tonight!

The next DPT trip has officially entered the planning stages...details to follow!

I'm studying for my psych final exam tonight...what are you doing?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Kickball Canceled Tonight

Apparently the lights at Doc Nance Field are not working.  The city just contacted GKB to inform them they won't have the issue fixed by tonight.  So kickball has been canceled.  Stay tuned to this page (and your email inbox) for announcement on when/how these games will be made up.  Thanks.

**UPDATE**

Please spread the word to everyone on your team.  The usual bar specials and karaoke are still on.  From 7-9pm it's all you can drink for $10.  Or show up after 9 for the $2 deals (might want to wear your shirt so they don't give you crap).

The make-up night will be announced ASAP... but I can pretty much guarantee you it won't be on a Thursday.  So... be ready for that.

No, Frank... we can't play anywhere else tonight.

DAALTS New Names/Acronyms?

Shoot.....

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Picks - Week 4

Better match-ups this week.  Get your picks in by 4pm on Thursday.  Include some commentary as well to make Jack happy.

"Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic."

Price:$24.95
Ships in 3–5 business days
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Would you rather..

Would you rather party with Mel Gibson or Charlie Fucking Sheen??

Power Rankings - Week 4