Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Kickball Time Already?

For an off-season that seemed painfully long... the last few weeks have flown by and I'm not anywhere near ready to see you people again.

That being said, I suppose this Thursday is our first week of the season. Let's discuss a few things:

1) Litman just emailed my team to say he's not drinking this season. Does anyone out there believe this? I mean, even if he is attempting to NOT drink... he's bound to cave in after a long stressful day, or in celebration of some other life event. Regardless, he's losing 300 Man Points for the suggestion.

2) The schedule is published here. You might have noticed that it was slightly different on GKB's website. That has now been changed (I think). I even heard Deeks' team emailed out the incorrect time. So make sure you know when you're playing and all that good shit. Why was there ever a discrepancy? Let's just call it.... "work-arounds." As always, I'll gladly fill in those gaps in person if anyone is interested. But as Johnny continues to try and make GKB the best value in Tampa... there are always going to be annoying obstacles.

3) Speaking of... the City of Tampa, in my opinion, has fucked us. With only a two-week notice, they changed our field. This creates a TON of issues.
     a) Taylor is much smaller than Doc Nance. If you played in GKB Season 1, you might recall we went to the smaller Taylor Field after the whole "tree falling on the lights" thing at Doc Nance. This forced us to go to 3 time-slots (6:30, 7:30, 8:30) and play with over-lapping outfields. Miraculously, we finished the season without much incident, and everyone except Off Constantly was content. You also might recall there was a larger field at Taylor, which we couldn't use due to a men's softball league.
          i) The larger field I speak of is where we are playing.
          ii) We actually played one week out there (Week 4, March 23rd 2011).
          iii) The larger field is STILL too small for us, and it's going to be super tight out there. In fact, Johnny is enforcing that all teams set-up/hang-out in the infield clay. There is not enough room for anyone to be standing between fields.
          iv)  I've spent a lot of time after work and the past couple of weekends at Taylor Field. I'd like to remind the 10 of you who read DPT that I don't get paid for this shit. I do, however, live very close so I don't mind as long as it's helping to make our season better. Johnny has actually gone out there every day for the past week or so. After setting up a few different field positions, I think the best thing to do is see if we can make the Frank-Layout work. Any other design creates over-lapping outfields. If everyone starts complaining that the fields are just too close together... we'll have to go to three time-slots (6:30, 7:30, 8:30).
     b) I'm going to talk about "Issue B" right now. Ask me again on Thursday.

4) "Ok! STFU already. We get the situation is not perfect. Why don't you spend less time rambling and more time seeing if we can play on __________?"
      a) Let me explain to you why there are no stupid questions... only stupid people who ask questions:
          i) Doc Nance - A local school uses this field for their home baseball games. They do not want anyone else using that field until April. Allegedly, we can play there next season. Why are they implementing this rule now when they didn't two seasons ago? Probably because the baseball team that is out there practicing complained about all you people bringing your dogs to the fields.
          ii) Small Taylor Field used in conjunction with large field - You'll probably notice on Thursday that nobody is using the small field. So why don't we put two games on the big one, and one on the small one? Same reason as Doc Nance. But this time it's Tampa Prep softball that has put money into the field and thus has convinced the city not to rent it out during softball season.
          iii) Any field owned by a school - They don't need the money. Nor do they want grown adults stepping on their sod. Every school that has been contacted quickly says "no."
          iv) Other fields I don't want to name at the moment - One is having discussions with GKB... another one that would have been perfect told us "no" after talking with the Little League that plays there.
          v) PAL - Money reasons and obviously Thursdays are booked. Remember when Kickball Society tried to get in there on Wednesdays in 2011? WAKA bought the entire year just so they could keep other leagues out (at least, that's what PAL told us). Granted... I still blame the KBS owners for dragging their feet and missing the opportunity. But that's their loss, and their Thursday league is still under-sized because of it (10 teams).

5) Shocker Rob has come up with a great way to give out gift-cards each week at the fields. He's working with GKB to make it happen.

6)  Who wants to do some picks again this season? Last year Frank won a big wedge of aged-cheddar cheese. If people are down... obviously I'll keep records. Maybe the winner can get the $70 I still haven't paid Gorecki for winning the DPT BQBL.

See you kids Thursday.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Ye Olde Sayings...

Friday, January 27, 2012

TGH Parking lot

I know a decent amount of you have parked in the TGH parking lot when the valet lots fill up after the games. Don't do it anymore. I got towed. I hate tow truck drivers more then I hate when Tenielle touches me.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Still Bitter

Last season it was made very clear that only 6 "elite" teams are eligible for the Crystal Cup. The rest of us bastards are just filler games and fodder for your redicule and scorn. We can't take the heartache that we went through last year when we put a great deal of time, effort and money striving for acceptance only to be spat upon by your society. We're too lazy to join another league, so we're going to sponsor an award strictly for the undesirables. We were going to give it a homoerotic name like some splinter wrestling organization, but that would make SuperBad pester us to be eligible.

Instead we bring you the Chalice of the Others sponsored by South Tampa Smiles. Our mascot will be an abandoned puppy and Sarah McLachlan will compose our theme song. The only teams eligible are the Growlers, YLLINaD, Jacked Up, Honey Badges Hit That and Guys, Dolls & Balls and of course PBC. The rest of you can keep jerking each other off and recycling Teneille. We're going to make new friends who are better than you in every way.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Winter 2012 Schedule

The schedule is posted. Check it out here.

Don't forget the captains meeting and "meet & greet" tomorrow at Yard of Ale (7pm).

Pre-Season Power Rankings

We just received the schedule, and will post it shortly.


Monday, January 23, 2012

Meet & Greet / New Field Location

Alright, time to dust off this shit and talk about the upcoming kickball season.

The new season "Meet and Greet" is this Thursday (1/26/2012) at 7pm. Yard of Ale coincidentally has "all you can drink" starting at 7pm ($10)... so enjoy it.

The captains meeting starts at 8pm upstairs in the usual spot. Make sure your captain (or someone representing your team) is there.

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Ok, so the "new" fields.

The City of Tampa has designated Doc Nance (our usual field) as "baseball only" during the first 5 months of this year. A local school actually uses that field for their home baseball games, and the city doesn't want us tearing it up. They also did us the huge favor of notifying GOKickball at the last possible second.

Anyway, the largest field in the area is at Taylor (611 W. Indiana Ave., Tampa, FL 33603), which is next to the small fields we played the second half of our first GKB season. In fact... we played there one week during that season.

It's slightly smaller than Doc Nance... and a slightly shittier playing surface. What I do know... is that we can squeeze 3 games at a time, so the game times shouldn't be affected. Please help out by not setting up your team right on top of home plate or the base paths. A lot of teams were really horrible about this last season.

Kickball is kickball. We have a place to play, even if it's not "ideal." Just remember that anything we do in life is only as fun as you make it. And for the veteran players out there who've been around since I joined our leagues... don't ever forget what PAL used to look like (before they used all that money we donated to them to build new fields). We didn't have any problems playing on a giant sand pit back then...

PAL. You can even see the old Iowa-controlled lights that would over-heat and shut off once a night.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

Saturday Party

Seinfeld has Festivus, and we have NewWeen.

It's New Years meets Halloween. We will celebrate the Ball Drop every hour and burn a christmas tree. The cost for this is free, however you must bring 3 things.

1 - Bring a Bottle to share with the group or some beers.
2 - Bring something to forget from 2011 so you can burn away the past (feel free to bring any leftover Waka Shirts to burn as we did in the past)
3 - You must be wearing a Halloween Costume or New Years Tux/Suit

NewWeen will take place this Saturday Jan 21st, at the D-10 Hut. 114 S. Westland Ave, Tampa. Party starts at 9pm. Afterwards we will be hitting up the Soho bars.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Off-Season party scene

Damn, it’s been boring on the blog. We could’ve known how the DPT social scene was doing, but Chandler gave up on the Off-Season Power Rankings fairly quickly (Hey bud, it was a good try… It’s a good idea and I still have faith in it, just like emo music). The Shockers take the cake in the Off-Season party scene, as proof in this video of them getting an 80 year old shaking her goods and climaxing with a full out flashing. The highlight is around the 1:10 mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YzyNomtlog&feature=youtu.be

I wasn't patient enough to upload to the blog, the copy & paste it like you'd do in the old days.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Pickup Kickball

Anyone going tomorrow?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

NFL playoffs fantasy league

I'm going to run a playoff fantasy league. 10$ per entry, winner take all and maybe 2nd gets their money back. Post your email address if you would like an invite. Here are the rules.
http://challengegames.nfl.com/playoffchallenge/pages/how_to_play

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

DPT BQBL - Finals

Much to Teneille's dismay... the season has come to a close.

Litman vs. Gorecki
Gorecki, with his history of forgetting to pick teams (despite multiple texts sent to his Jitterbug phone), backed his way into the playoffs and had the last pick of the re-draft. And with the very last pick of that re-draft, he selected the Buffalo Bills. Good thing he did, as Ryan Fitzpatrick had 4 INTs and a pick six. Litman's Browns put forth a good effort, but he received zero help from any of his other teams. Tavaris Jackson fails to be clutch in real football... AND bad quarterback football. Final score: Gorecki wins 55 - 34.


Gorecki: "Hello? Hello?!? What are all these buttons?? I want to start the L.A. Rams and the Baltimore Colts!"

Congrats, Gorecki. You win your initial $10 payment, $60 from the rest of the league, and a $10 IOU from Smithkey.