Wednesday, May 30, 2012

PICKS

1. Blue barracudas
2. Super Ninjas
3. Growlers

Now this is golf.

Member Of Prestigious Golf Club Scolds Others For Pissing On The Greens, Cavorting In The Nude, Picking Up A Golf Ball With "Naked Butt Cheeks," And Much More

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sunday, May 27, 2012

What I Saw- Week 1 Summer Kickball

Guess which one I was on Thursday.


Hey guys! We're back!

This Thursday marked the start of our summer season. That's right, a real summer just like the big guys have for people with plenty of disposable income ($73.00 vs $49.00, in some cases $30.00... hmmm...) Summer season is actually pretty similar to its Fall and Spring counterparts. Same beer-filled shenanigans, same waterfront field, same Yella running around with a bug sprayer of mysteriously strong purple liquid. Only difference, is the size (6 teams) and a couple of new teams that I will get to in a minute.

Storms a Brewing

This week we narrowly dodged an intense rain storm to play. As the fields were being set up, storm clouds seemingly circled the entire field. Some leagues may have halted play and you're probably wondering what my policy is on rain (this being a summer season in Florida.)

If it starts raining during  (or before) a game, we carry on as normal. The exceptions to this is if the force of the rain is so strong that it inhibits the ability to play or if there is lightning close by. Obviously, there was lightning a modest distance from where we played but it wasn't close enough to where I felt we were in danger. But enough with the serious stuff . . .

Johnny Crosskey kickball highlights!

I actually played an official kickball game (as part of the roster) for the first time in a year on Thursday... but if you blinked, looked down to slurp up one of Maria's delicious pudding shots, or took a piss in Tampa Bay... you probably missed it. So this is for you:

First at bat - I lined up to kick with Vince from Honey Badgers directly in front me and a new Honey Badger to my right. Vince winds up, runs up to the mound. My eyes see the ball rolling rapidly towards me, I'm thinking, "man I'm going to knock the shit out of this ball, round the bases and get doused with well wishes and Heinz ketchup". Then as toe met rubber. . . I weakly grounded out to the pitcher.

Next at bat - Ruben is the pitcher. "Oh I got this. I'm gonna show the pitcher of our most recent championship team what time it is. Ball so Hard!!" Ruben does strange curvy wind up thing. The ball comes spinning towards me but that's OK. It streaks towards the plate and then. . . "Shat!!!" Weak pop up to the pitcher.

Later on Yella told me that I sucked, which was really saying something considering that he seldom talks about what happened on the field unless it pertains to tits or ass.

So look for a better performance against the Blue Barracudas.

Ball So Hard - 5, Honey Badgers - 2

Luckily enough, I have a good team. We were able to shake off some so-so defense and an early 0-2 deficit to capture a 5-2 victory. Chandler may have broken the game open with the first ever home run on a "full extension, kicking the ball soft, but it looks like you are kicking the hell out of it" munt. Also, Souder had a great kick to left field where the outfielder appeared to fall and was unable to get back up.

The Importance of Being Neighborly

The Blue Barracudas made their introduction into the GOKickball Nation by treating us to a seemingly endless amount of blue and watermelon jello shots. I already like them better than PbC (jk?). They seem to be nice, hard partying with a sprinkling of hot girls. That's good right?

The Team to Beat

The other side of the Barracuda story is that they got destroyed by the team to beat, The Growlers. The spring league runner-up brought back most of their team, which means more pre and post-game Jager shots, solid defense and total bar/karaoke domination. They looked good out there. Hell, Jess is playing with two broken toes. The only thing that could hold them back. . . Dark-colored shirts.

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Come out and root on the United States in their FIRST 2-14 FIFA WORLD CUP qualifier. The Men's National Soccer Team will take on Antigua & Barbuda. The price includes a great sideline ticket to the game close to the action in the Club Sport block plus a tailgate party before hand in the parking lot celebrating the US Soccer Team that includes free snacks and beer! Save up to $10 in Ticketmaster fees!!!

Good times.

Check it out:
https://www.tampabayclubsport.com/Info/Tournament/USsoccer.htm

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Week, I mean, Weak, 1 Picks

Hurrying up and get your picks in before the games start....

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Rays vs Tigers June 28 OR 29?

As you know, I am an avid Tigers fan and usually invite people to go to a game when the Tigers are in town and they are back June 28- July 1. I'm thinking we should get a group to go Thursday or Friday night June 28 or 29th. Both games are at 7:10pm, so just seeing what the interest is in going, and which day. I'm leaning towards Friday but whatever you guys want. Maybe you will even see another NO HITTER by the Rays. Wouldn't that be great for you? Invite friends and people that don't read the blog. Maybe I'll even do a facebook invite when we pick a day. I think we should just get Party Deck tickets and sneak down like we did before. I will prob have everyone buy their own but I guess I can get a bunch if that's easier. Let me know and post comments, GO!
*Side note just looked and Earth, Wind and Fire is the Concert Series on Saturday night!*

Summer Power Rankings - Week 1


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Why Chandler Brown lost $1,000

This was the winning GoKickball vid. Worth $1,000.


I've seen Chandler make better videos IN BED. (not a knock on Alison - who wouldn't want to see that...am i right - AM I RIGHT??? huh? huh? huh????)

I'm just as guilty, I could have made a better vid...hell, a vid of Flo with his running club would have more entertainment value...
Chandler, I'm blaming you for not making a video and playing banko with $1,000. The RedRocket vids would have won alone.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Back when life was simple...


Notes:
Video almost 5 years old...also the same age as Dylan the ref.
Slowest chugoff ever.
2:33 - Tony still awesome. I think he's safe
2:58 - Yella is 'normal' and the Jammers wear league-mandated shirts. Not 'traveling' jerseys.
3:23 - Schwack cameo - sounds like he's got a frog in his throat...Fast fwd 5 years, probably got a dick in his throat.
5:28 - Taqueria sighting - miss that place
5:43 - Oh boy!
6:38 - The ingredient of happiness.

Enjoy your summer. K.I.T. Page me. See you next school year.

Summer Kickball!

Hello DPTers. We're back from a very short "vacation," just in time for GKB's first real summer season. And at $30, how can you go wrong??

The captain's meeting and "meet n' greet" is this Thursday at Yard of Ale (7:30pm). GKB tells me that everyone is welcome and will receive whatever specials the league gets, even if you aren't playing this summer. Come hang out!

The summer schedule will be up sometime this afternoon.

We'll do some power rankings this summer, but we're taking a break from running picks.

All the lurkers who are not playing this summer, feel free to tell us about your adventures. Perhaps Griff can give us an update on his three other kickball teams. Maybe a Ginnie Springs recap? Whatever.

-Blog

Friday, May 11, 2012

Give Breast Cancer the KICK...Kickball Tourney

Hey gang I'm posting this for a friend in case I didn't add you to the Facebook invite...

Give Breast Cancer the KICK





Please come out for a good cause!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ahhhh Memories...

Killing time, slow day at work.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

This is great and it's GoKB ATL!!!

Please enjoy the music, I am certain the Jammers come to mind BUT it is still funny to hear people's reaction to the level kickball is being taken, haha!

The BERT SHOW,
It’s All Fun And Games Until You Lose…And Then Your Kickball Captain Sends An Email Ripping You A New One
Click the link for the audio from the show.
http://thebertshow.com/its-all-fun-and-games-until-you-lose-and-then-your-kickball-captain-sends-an-email-ripping-you-a-new-one/
   
"An Atlanta area kickball team (kickball, so we’re talking extracurricular here – you know the teams where beer comes right after, if not during, the game?), went home with a 0-20 loss, and to say their coach was upset about it is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year. Oh…and this was their first game. A “free agent” on the team sent Deadspin the letter, claiming that: …the team captain sent out this fantastically hostile email after the team’s first loss. I wasted $50 on signing up, but the entertainment value of this email is priceless. I redacted all of the names mostly because this is the only time in my life I foresee an opportunity to redact something. Sounds like somebody needs to find a way to work off that stress…maybe outside of organized sports. It’s just a game. *Cringe. Please don’t hurt us.*"


————— Forwarded message ————— From: [redacted] Date: Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 11:31 PM Subject: Our game tonight To: [redacted] Let me ask a real simple question… What was that? Seriously, did you guys just think you could show up and win? That was pathetic. Again, pathetic. I know we kid around a lot and try to have fun and a good time, but what is the point if you guys aren’t even going to try? I can count several instances, and not to name names but I think I will this time just to get my point across… [redacted], are you just trying to show off your speed by letting the ball drop in front of you when you play the outfield so you can run and get it? joke. Do you not care? If you don’t care that is fine, but some of us do. [redacted], how about running out your kicks after they’re in play instead of just jogging down to first base as though it doesn’t matter. joke. you got very lucky the ref called you safe. you were out. [redacted], your obp% is the worst on the team. I thought you played before. [redacted], great pitching and defense… yeah right, I can count about 3 or 4 plays in my head where you just allow them, basically, to reach base and score, and you probably cost us 5 runs single handedly. great job dude. Some of you guys are striking out, others can’t catch a pop fly, others don’t even know which base to throw the ball to. Are you guys adults. Thought this was an adult kickball league, as in you act like adults and play the way you are supposed to. Do you want to play? I thought you joined this league to be competitive and win, but maybe I thought wrong. Tell ya what, if any of you guys are going to bring that lame shit out to field next week, why don’t you do us all a favor and just stay home and watch t.v. instead. Seriously, I am embarrassed to be a part of this. We LOST 20 – 0 tonight. That is a freaking joke. Again, I know we joke around and try to have fun, and I’m not trying to be Mr. Serious here, but that was not fun. I am not kidding, don’t come next week if you are going to act like a bunch of children out there. Thank you to the people who did try tonight: mainly [redacted], myself, [redacted], and [redacted]. and [redacted]. The rest of you better think about what I’m talking about unless you don’t care in which case we don’t want you coming out anyway. EFFING (Our edit – you know what it really says) JOKE

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Schticky

Do you prefer the big schticky or the little schticky?

Summer Season

First off, congrats to the Growlers on winning the flip-cup tournament. It was another Growler vs. ToeJammer final, and who would have guessed the team that actually drinks on the field won at the bar? Crazy sauce.

With the end-of-season party behind us, it's officially the off-season. But if you still have that kickball itch, you should probably make sure it isn't VD contracted at WgW over the weekend. If you're clean, then sign up for GOKickball's summer league. It's $30 fucking dollars (Can we get a sketch of a $10 bill having sex with a $20 bill? Anyone? Perhaps Alexander Hamilton all up on Andrew Jackson?).

The random team I'm on needs a few more chicks. E-Flo is on another team which probably has a couple of spots to fill. Same with the Growler team. Use this chance to play with different people. Make new friends. Try different positions. Practice your munting. Whatever.

Go to GKB's website. Use the promo code for current players (ask if you don't have it). Join as a free agent. Or if you want to join a specific team, post a comment on here and I'll hunt down a code for you.

Registration closes at the end of this week... so get on it.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Jamey Schwartz Classic

For those of you who are friends with Duc, you'll know that one of the few times he leaves the house is to participate in the Jamey Schwartz Classic. This year the event will be held on August 4th at Cleveland Heights in Lakeland.

The JSC is a charity golf tournament that benefits a scholarship fund honoring one of Duc's friends who passed away. Much like the Leif Nissen Memorial Tournament, the JSC has done a ton of good work (raising almost $100,000).

If you're interested in playing, go to their website and register. It's $100 per person which is the price of most charity tournaments. Myself and some other kickballers will be out there. And we always win the photo contest.







PS... Nate K. wants me to remind everyone the Tampa Gator Club Tournament is on 6/9/12 for $175.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

End of Season Party

Here's another reminder for you. The end of season party is this Saturday at Wings Gone Wild. The party kicks off at 7pm, and the flip-cup tournament will start at 8pm sharp! So make sure you're there with your team so you can sign up and make your forced donation ($5 per person, $30 per team). That's right... you WILL do charitable things!

The rest of the night there should be enough free beer to last until midnight. Karaoke starts at 9pm. Usually a bunch of kids go to Red Dog afterward. Sometimes kickballers throw up on the actual bar. Sometimes the Growler girls dance on top of tables with each other all sexily. Sometimes Hot Tub Handjob Hippie Todd rips off his shirt and gets asked to leave the bar.

In any case, go to the Facebook event page and RSVP. Bring some friends. Email your team and remind them of the party. Only about 40% of the league reads this blog, so go help spread the word. The off season is party season!