Wednesday, December 28, 2011

DPT BQBL - Playoffs Round 1

Souder vs. Gorecki
This game was all about the keeper teams. Souder's Colts are desperately trying to destroy their future, by winning two games in a row. While Gorecki's Rams continue to lose their dignity faster than the baseball-Cardinals lost Pujols. Souder left a staggering 57 points on the bench with Mark Sanchez... but as these recaps have said all season... you just can't count on the Jets quarterback to put up good or bad numbers. Bottom line... Indy fucked Souder over just as much as they're currently fucking over their fan base. Gorecki shuffles into the finals... but if he fails to pick his teams before kickoff on Sunday... he forfeits. Final score: Gorecki wins 63 - 3.


Nate vs. Litman
A very close game. Litman scored his most possible points, despite not-so-shitty play from BQBL Allstar Tavaris Jackson. Blaine Gabbert did his best for Nate's squad... but it was Josh Freeman who spoiled the party. The Bucs median score in the regular season was 18.5, so the 10 points Freeman put up was well below what we're used to. To make matters worse, the Cards (on Nate's bench) had a three turnover game. Final score: Litman wins 38 - 35.

Litman and Gorecki... get your picks in.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Basketball

We're playing at the Sweetbay courts around 5:30/6:00 tonight if anyone would like to join.

DPT BQBL Playoffs

All stats have been updated through week 15.  Souder, Nate, Litman and Gorecki made the playoffs (in that order).

Grantland did establish head-to-head as the first tie breaker, but Nate and Litman split their regular season match-ups.

There will be an email re-draft this afternoon starting at 1pm. Each of those teams can keep ONE team on their roster, then they will select 3 new teams in order of their seeding (non snake draft).

Stay tuned. I know you all are excited.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Golf Cart Bowling

Perhaps the Buccaneers should sign this tackling machine!


Fucking Soccer...

Sport of fags!

Two unrelated stories combine to form an awesome headline combo!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

DPT BQBL - Week 14 Update

One week to go. Three teams are already out of the playoffs. Only Souder has clinched a spot... but if you read up on how Grantland set up the playoffs... seeding is very important.

Remember, the winner gets $70 (from me) plus a $10 IOU from Smithkey. Good luck!

Gorecki vs. Souder
Gorecki was well on his way to not sending in his picks, again. Somebody buy his ass some ginkgo biloba for Christmas. I'm afraid Brie is in for a long life of forgotten anniversaries. Anyway... Mike had no chance of winning. All of his QBs (including Tebow H. Christ) played well. As long as Souder has the Colts, he's going to put up some decent numbers. Final score: Souder wins 53 - 24.

Litman vs. Kyle
Litman sent me a video text on Sunday morning of Lovie Smith giving Caleb Hanie a vote of confidence last week. As expected, Grantland didn't acknowledge it. So he's getting the points anyway, and I sent off a humorous (but dick-ish) email to GL. It turns out Brian didn't need the bonus points, since Hanie sucking fat dick is why he got the VoC in the first place. But it might come into play for a tie-breaker. I fully expect Litman to sneak into the Saints hotel room this week and snap a photo of Drew Brees' penis. Once it's uploaded to DPT, the +150 bonus points will secure the playoffs. Real winners do whatever it takes to get that victory. Final score: Litman wins 64 - 38.

Chandler vs. Nate
I was pretty much out of the playoffs already. So I didn't really need Fitzpatrick rubbing 103 BQBL points in my face. Nate's team is on fire... and he didn't even start Josh Freeman who shit out 84 points of his own. Final score: Nate wins 127 - 39.

Bito vs. Smithkey
Smithkey has been unlucky all season, narrowly losing despite putting up huge numbers. This weeks sob story: Christian Ponder and his 99 points (all of his other teams went negative). Typical Florida State excellence. Based on the other results this week, Bito was knocked out of the playoffs anyway. And he successfully dragged Smith-Key down with him. Final score: Bito wins 93 - 50.

Get your picks in. And don't worry Bito... I already selected your teams.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

WAKA Pricing

There's some weird shit going on with WAKA's pricing this season. As many of you know, we diligently track the cost of all "social style" kickball leagues in Tampa (which means we exclude TBCS). Let's revisit a bullet point in a previous blog post, and expand on it:

WAKA's Bayshore (Thursday) registration has been open since October 25th, one day earlier than posted on their website. In seven weeks they've managed to sign up six groups, which by their definition have less than 14 people and/or less than 4 females. Some of you might have received a mass email from WAKA the other day stating that leagues are filling up fast. At least here in Tampa, such a claim is complete bullshit.

Our attempt at an "unbiased" analysis says their painfully slow registration is due to two things: 1) charging $74 for an eight game season and 2) opening registration 3 days after the previous season ended! The "thanks for playing, now immediately send us more money" mentality doesn't really light a fire in the pants of players who typically cherish their off-season. It also caused GKB to open registration earlier than planned in order to lure teams away if needed.

But what is really strange is the pricing difference between Bayshore and Breaker (Tuesday). Breaker opened registration on December 1st for $72 (one group has signed up after a week and a half). Two whole dollars cheaper! In the previous season, Bayshore and Breaker had 14 and 10 teams respectively. So the price difference isn't demand oriented since both divisions can handle 16 teams. Is Thursday considered 2.78% more premium than Tuesday? Who's even going to notice the discount (besides an anally retentive internet donkey blog)?

Would anyone ever say to themselves: "Hmmm... I really want to play Thursday nights... but Tuesday is $2 cheaper!"?

Both WAKA divisions are run by the same rep, and presumably he manually sets the price for each. Perhaps he has a rational explanation for the differences. But there can't possibly be an explanation for this:

Sometime over the past few days... well after teams had begun registering to play in the Bayshore division... the price was lowered from $74 to $73.

1.37% discount?!? Getthefuckout!

What the Hell is going on over there? If you told us GKB's website was possessed and had a mind of its own, we'd totally believe you. But WAKA's is a well-oiled money grabbing machine. Someone had to manually drop that price one dollar, after teams had already signed up! Are the 50 or so people previously registered going to get a $1 refund? Does Ticketmaster run the Bayshore division now? Or perhaps Kohn Sports Paintball Park is to blame?

To be fair, the cost to play in Bayshore last season was $73 so maybe they decided not to have their typical rate increase. But to make that decision after teams had already signed up seems... Keystone Kop-ish.

And to make such a determination AFTER we blogged about it (on December 5th) just seems... sad. If you want DPT to do your job for you, please send us some of that $2,000+ you make per season, per division. We'll gladly use it to purchase beer, which we won't share with MLoop or Keggers.

If and when the price changes again, we'll be sure to blow it out of proportion right here on this blog. Stay tuned.

DPT blowing shit out of proportion?!? Getthefuckout!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Poker and Bank-O

I sent out invites on Facebook to peeps for some drinking and gambling at my place.

Next Saturday, Dec 17th

If you didn't get it, its probably because your name starts with "T" and ends with "E" or I forgot to put you on the invite.

This is a pic of the last time we were playing Bank-O




Allegedly.

Fat Arm

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Basketball anyone??


It's been rumored and now it's REAL!



This Sunday at 10:00 AM at Riverside Park (1300 Braddock St. 33603) - Corner of Decatur & Coral St.

So all of you shit talkers bring your A game... and your friends!

Who's in?????

DPT BQBL - Week 13 Recap

Three dudes this week failed to set their teams. I didn't realize it until around 1:45pm. The following message was posted on the league board at that time:

"Souder, Kyle and Gorecki did not submit picks for week 13. The league realized this after 1pm games had begun. So all 1pm games are void. Kyle is starting the Cheifs, however, since 3 of his teams had 1pm games and at the time of this writing there has been no scoring by Kansas City (good or bad)."

More on this in the recap:

Souder vs Litman
Every one of Souder's teams went negative this week. He had no chance, even with Litman missing out on 56 points while the Bears rode the pine. Final score: Litman wins 24 - -33.

Chandler vs. Gorecki
Gorecki sent me a text Sunday night saying he wasn't sure if he set his BQBL teams (imagine that). I directed him to the blog, which led him to say it was "convenient" that I didn't send him a "reminder text" the week that I was playing him. If it's required that I send reminder texts to people, then I demand a 50% increase in League Commissioner salary. I calculate: $0.00 * 1.5 = $0.00. God dammit! Quit being senile, OMG... and get your shit together. Technology is your friend. Set a reminder on your phone. The NFL survivor pool debacle was bad enough. Final score: Gorecki wins 21 - 12.

Bito vs. Kyle
Bito demanded that teams who hadn't set their rosters get 0 points. I didn't go that route because I thought it was a little harsh... especially since two of those idiots had enough late games to make fair starts. In any case... unless Kyle started the Pats this week (which he wouldn't since they were playing the win-less Colts), any other combination was enough to beat Bito. Final score: Kyle wins 67 - 48.

Smithkey vs. Nate
Finally! A game where two people actually looked at their schedule and set some motherfuckin' teams. Smithkey has been hosed all season long, while Nate won a couple of early games with dick for points. Lately, however, Nate's teams have been garbage (which is a good thing). But Carson Palmer's pick-six and Matt Ryan's two INTs appeared to give Smithkey an easy victory. And Kevin Kolb's game winning drive put Nate in a bigger hole. There was NO WAY that Nate could pull a win out of his ass. Wait... did you just say he started Vince Young? The 4-INT, pick-six, should have been benched Vince Young? Final score: Nate wins 46 - 45.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

After Dark @ The Library: Tacky Holidaze

After Dark @ The Library: Tacky Holidaze
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
7:00pm until 9:00pm
900 N. Ashley Drive, Tampa, FL 33602

Eat, Drink, and Be Tacky...Not sure what to do with the ugly sweater Uncle Morton sent last year? Put it on and take part in a Tacky Sweater Party. Can't muster the courage? Wrap it up and re-gift it in the evening's White Elephant gift exchange!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Pick-Up Game and Ramblings

Hello. Declarations for today:
  • GKB is hosting a pick-up game this Saturday at noon, on Doc Nance field. If you want some practice, or just want to get out and enjoy the 80 degree Tampa winter... go check it out. There will be food and drinks (ice cold Rocky Mountain ones) provided for a $4 charge, which really only covers field rental.
  • A plague on everyone's house for not submitting any Rosey-Thumb pictures. Mike even offered free beer. Shame on you lurkers. Boooooo!!
  • GKB registration is nearing "full" status, but there are a few teams that are lacking in roster size. Personally, we're rooting for free agents to secure the final spots, so we can watch those veteran teams struggle with newbs. It's kinda like rooting for the LSU-'Bama rematch, and then rooting for 'Bama to win. We enjoy chaos. Break 'em up!
  • WAKA is now charging $74 to play in Bayshore (Thursday) and $72 to play in Breaker (Tuesday). What's the logic in that? Last season those divisions had 14 and 10 thinned teams respectively... a far cry from the 416 members (16 teams) Bayshore had before we left. So why the discrepancy of $2? Is Thursday considered a "premium" night? And if so... is it only 2.7% more premium than Tuesday? The cost per season is ridiculous enough as it is. But if you're going to sodomize your customers, the idea that one league is only $2 less rapey is mind-boggling.
  • DPT Insiders can read a half-written tirade about the compensation for WAKA league reps. That is, if you're truly an insider.

Enjoy your Monday.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Rosey Thumb Contest

So I was bored at work and Chandlers mentioning of Rosey looking like a thumb in the shout box inspired me to connect with the artist within. After I completed my masterpiece I thought I would reward anyone else who submits their own Rosey Thumb pic with 1 free beer next time I see them. Yeah you read that right! 1 full beer of my choosing. So submit your Rosey Thumb Pic today.


*Original*