Tuesday, November 30, 2010

"It's kickball time again"--Thanks but NO THANKS

For those of you who received an email from Erik @ WAKA today reminding you that registration is open for the winter 2011 bayshore league begining in Feb.
Remember that it is rude to ignore people so make sure to reply with "REMOVE ME" in the subject line and whatever personal thoughts you might like to share in the body. See my example to the right.

World Accuracy Kick Association Challenge*

Here's the scenario:

It's the championship game and your team is STILL tied 0-0 after two "Kansas City" extra-innings. Everyone on the field is tired, and your ex-division rep clearly doesn't want to be outside anymore. Only 84.852813 feet stand between you and W.A.K.A glory.


Do you have what it takes to play in the Breaker Division?




*created by Geoff

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

More WAKA Bullying

Want to know something funny?

GoKickball is one of WAKA's largest competitors in the national market.  Their website is www.gokickball.com.

Guess what I just stumbled upon?

WAKA registered the domain: www.gokickball.org!

Proof from WhoIs:


Domain ID:D155951849-LROR
Domain Name:GOKICKBALL.ORG
Created On:24-Apr-2009 17:07:33 UTC
Last Updated On:12-Apr-2010 10:10:18 UTC
Expiration Date:24-Apr-2011 17:07:33 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:Moniker Online Services Inc. (R145-LROR)
Status:CLIENT DELETE PROHIBITED
Status:CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED
Status:CLIENT UPDATE PROHIBITED
Registrant ID:MONIKER1936737
Registrant Name:WAKA Kickball
Registrant Street1:PO Box 1002
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Gainesville
Registrant State/Province:VIRGINIA



Oh... and DPT's visits from Arlington, VA continue to be quite high.  Arlington is the closest major city to Gainesville, VA, and our stat tracker lumps those together.

Shame on you WAKA.  This tactic completely violates standard business ethics.

**UPDATE** - You can read more about cybersquatting here. I'm not sure if this qualifies, but we'll research it some more later.

**UPDATE 2** - If you see me out this weekend, ask me about "update 2."

**UPDATE 3** - Since I stumbled upon WAKA's ownership of the www.gokickball.org address... it never occurred to me to broaden the search.  Sure enough... WAKA has registered www.gokickball.net and www.gokickball.info.  For shame!!

**UPDATE 4** - WAKA also owns the websites: www.wakasucks.com and www.kickballsucks.com.  Foreshadowing, perhaps?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

TMZ Catches Korb Corrupting PAL!!!!


Photo taken at the scene of the underhanded event, at which he also presumably banned several freedom-loving Bayshore kickballers for loving freedom, beer, kickball, and freedom.

Winter 2011 Kickball Options

I sent out an email to some people regarding the details of our kickball options.  If you didn't get it, more than likely it was just a huge oversight* on my part as I raced through my phone contact list.  Just ask and I'll forward it to you.

My inbox is blowing up with responses, which is good... but Smithkey correctly suggested we need public comments.   Please discuss:

  • WAKA - Take a massive dump on freedom and return to PAL for $72 + parking (paid for by your party budget).
  • Kickball Society - $55 if you sign up by midnight Wednesday (technically Thursday). $59 for a week or so after that.  $65 after that period.  Play up in Temple Terrace, which is a decent and established league.
  • GorecKickball** - $50 for ex-WAKA members, no deadline on that price.  Field is actually in South Tampa.  League is very small and customizable.  If it sucks, we either help make it better or return from whence we came.  Here's a link to what this league looks like.

*There is the slight chance that I fucking hate you and wish you bodily harm.  :)
**The league is not actually called this.  I'm just busting Gorecki's old-man balls.  www.gokickball.com/tampa

List of Bayshore movement.  Please comment or email me so this is accurate.

Hold the Phone

There have been some new developments tonight in the world of kickball.  We're talking last minute shit, and we might just have a suitable solution for everyone after all.  An official announcement will come on Wednesday afternoon.  Do not make any plans until then.

Oh...

Monday, November 22, 2010

DPT Turkey Bowl 2010!

For any of the guys I missed on the facebook invite, Im trying to put together a football game Saturday morning at 9:30 at the fields down on Davis Island. I know it's something a few of us have been talking about for a while now, so lets make it happen!!!

WAKA Strikes Back

So WAKA flexed their muscle and decided to monopolize the "South Tampa" kickball market.  As many of you know, there have been a couple of people working diligently with Kickball Society to give us another option a little closer than Temple Terrace.  Here is a time line of events:
  • November 1st (Monday) - Michael Luppowitz, speaking on behalf of WAKA, sends out his first direct correspondence ever to Bayshore Division individuals.  Ironically, he decided to begin this inaugural dialog by saying we were banned from the league.
  • November 4th (Thursday) - The director of PAL returns from partying with the San Francisco Giants (his son, or something, is on the team).  He returns to countless emails from Kickball Society, who is interested in playing two to three leagues in 2011 on Wednesday nights.
  • November 5th-9th - PAL and Kickball Society discuss potential dates for 2011.  There's a lot of effort put into shifting schedules around PAL's youth soccer and football leagues.  KBS feels the general idea is worked out and mulls over the risk of investment.  In all honesty, I think they doubted a bit too much during this time how many of us are willing to give WAKA the finger and switch leagues.
  • November 10th (Wednesday) - The director of PAL (Phil) calls WAKA and tells them Kickball Society is attempting to sign up on Wednesdays.  When asked why he did that, Phil replied: "They are a loyal customer so I wanted them to know competition was moving in.  Maybe you guys can have inter-league play."
  • November 12th (Friday) - PAL finally sends KBS a contract for Wednesday nights... however due to "computer issues" they only had a template so the official contract was scheduled to be hammered out and signed the following Monday.
  • November 13th (Saturday) - Jonathan Korb and Michael Luppowitz show up at the Breaker Division tournament.  Korb meets with PAL and says they want to have a Wednesday night league in 2011.  Tyrus Gordon then goes on to ruin kickball as we know it by allowing the championship game to be decided by an Accuracy Kick.
  • November 15th (Monday) - On the day KBS was set to sign a contract, Phil from PAL informs them that WAKA has enacted a clause from their Big Guava league (Summer 2010 on Wednesday) which says they get first choice of Wednesday nights.  This is very confusing for two reasons: 1) PAL NEVER mentioned this clause during the previous two weeks 2) Big Guava was in the summer, not the winter or fall.  So it makes no sense as to why they have first right for the entire calendar year.  This is nothing more than sketchy on PAL's part.
  • November 18th (Thursday) - WAKA was supposed to finalize with PAL what Wednesday nights they wanted.  Initially, they requested a time during youth soccer.  PAL had promised KBS this would be resolved, but continues to give WAKA extra time in deciding.
  • November 19th (Friday) - PAL informs KBS that WAKA has reserved Wednesday nights starting January 16th, and again on June 14th.  This means in the winter season, WAKA will have PAL for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights at the same time.
Well played, WAKA... you pissed on our parade and stopped KBS from playing at PAL in 2011.

Despite the lies that have been told to us in the past, Breaker on Tuesday does not sell out.  This past season they had only ten teams... so there's really no chance for WAKA to make a "standard" profit on Wednesday nights.  They just didn't want KBS to move in, and PAL bent over backwards to accommodate their wish.

PAL has since been informed that we will no longer donate the Leif Nissen golf charity money to their organization, due to their involvement with WAKA.  This totaled $1,373 this year and should continue to grow as we add more teams.  Every year we hold this tournament, I will send PAL an email detailing for them how much money we are giving to a more deserving organization.

So now what?  It's far too late to find a South Tampa option for Winter 2011.  I'm talking to another kickball league tonight, but as of now it's just going to be an initial discussion of our groups needs.

Kickball Society has moved their Temple Terrace league to Thursday nights, in hopes of getting our members to sign up.  Historically, they do not have a season party like we're used to...  But they will have one this year (although rates are increasing to make this happen).  Starting tonight through THIS Wednesday, sign-ups will be $55.   November 25th - Dec 4th, sign-ups will cost $59.  After Dec 4th, it'll be $65 to play in Kickball Society.  I've been told that you can just sign up and put "DPT" or something as your team... and rosters will be shuffled once there is a good idea who's playing.

The members of this blog have nothing to do with Kickball Society's offerings.  We've done our best to show them that we're a large group fed up with our current league.  Undoubtedly, what they currently have is not good enough for many of our friends who live in St. Pete or South Tampa.  In the meantime, WAKA is banking on their monopoly strategy.  MLoop bragged to Brie before the start of last season that players threaten to quit every year, yet they always return.  We need to start holding these people to a higher standard.  We're the customers, and somehow we're getting pushed around and lied to.

If you know for sure you're going to play in KBS this winter, leave a comment.  If there is a need for DPT to host roster spreadsheets to help teams form, we'll gladly do that.  I apologize that this news isn't "best case," but I assure you we'll keep working on improving our situation.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Trivia Update

This week's trivia team name: "Accuracy Kick MLoop in the Korbs." They didn't win, but still managed to drink their weight in free beer from previous weeks winnings.



No actual updates about DPT's kickball future yet. Too many loose ends. But I hope soon that will change. Hope you all are having a nice week, and I'll see most of you this weekend at various events. If not... you're doing it wrong.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The One Where They Decided A Championship With An "Accuracy Challenge"

Happy Monday Ladies and Gents,

I think I may have a bit of a treat for you this morning. Lots of interesting things came out of the WAKA Breaker Fall 2010 Tournament on Saturday. None of these were more interesting than a very candid chat I had with Jonathan Korb from WAKA's Corporate Office.

Where shall I begin??? Well, my team "Multiple Scorgasms" was the number 8 seed going into the tournament. As you may know, Breaker only has 10 teams in the league. We had a "play in" game vs. the number nine seed to determine who would play the much hated Seminoles. After a 6th inning rally, my team came back to tie "Booze on First". Clearly ignoring directives sent down from God, we chose to play Kansas City rules. After the 8th inning, we were still tied. This is when the first round of excitement began. Ty & Erik informed us we would have to have an accuracy kick-off to decide a winner at this point. After the other captain and I discussed several options, including a fight to the death, a 5K, a team chug off, a game of Dungeons and Dragons and a tricycle race, we decided to play flip cup for the right to move on. I assembled a squad that would rival any team from the Ligers, Ballics, TBN, etc. (insert booing and animosity here) and then went to have a chat with Mr. Korb. While my team was quickly disposing of the amateur squad, I expressed my displeasure with this type of a format and that this would never fly in the Founders Cup. Mr. Korb assured me that this would only happen in the first and second rounds, and that much like the Founders Cup, our championship would be decided on the kickball field.

As we moved on to face the Seminoles, it was brought to our attention that they were using a roster filled with impostors due to the fact that almost all of their registered girls were in Tally for the FSU game. My team, much to my dismay, wanted to go "douche move" and challenge their roster. We did...Korb and MLoop ran the roster checks...told us everyone checked out...although they didn't and I have proof of that...and we played. My team fell apart in one inning, we looked a bit like Team Fab, and we lost 5-2.

So after we lost to the Seminoles, there was some downtime before the semifinals began. In fact, about 30 minutes went by between the conclusion of the quarterfinals and the beginning of the semifinals. Now, if only that time had been preserved, perhaps we would have gotten a real winner in the end of the tourney, instead of an accuracy champion. However, Miss Nevada used this time to discuss the shenanigans of late with Korb. I should have tape recorded it, but I failed in this department. Highlights are as follows:

1)Mr. Korb insists that he has only looked at the blog twice, ever. The first time was after the hit-and-run incident with a former league rep (I apologize, I don’t have her name) and the second time was when Kegger told him to check out the cooler game video this season. He admitted that he and MLoop both laughed at this video.

2)Mr. Korb admits that WAKA could have handled all of these things better, but both he and MLoop insist that the blog is not the reason for anyone’s dismissal. For the record, Korb doesn’t like the word “banned”.

3)When asked what the reasons for dismissal were since they weren’t stemming from the blog, I got the standard “well, we can only discuss that with the individuals in question.” However MLoop’s take on the situation was “if you’re going to bitch and complain about things in our policies that we aren’t willing to fix, than you just shouldn’t play here anymore.”

4)When I brought up the issue of the parking and the budget, I was assured that our parking was not paid for out of the party budget. Instead, the reason our party budget was so much lower this season is because in all previous seasons we had a lot of money rolled over from season to season, so we had a bigger opening balance and this accounts for the money at our parties. Also, Korb said that they were tired of walking into places and throwing their wallet on the table and saying “here, take this, what do we get” and instead WAKA would rather negotiate before hand without releasing total budget amounts to get a better deal. I would tend to agree with part of this logic, but I don’t agree with the disappearing money aspect.

5)Korb insists that not a single banned member has emailed him. He would have responded and would certainly remember them. Korb welcomes any and all player emails, especially from those players who have concerns about the validity of their ban.

6)Korb has had a conversation with one banned member though. Per Korb, he, MLoop and Jenn V. had a conversation about the issues and she has been reinstated. When asked if it had anything to do with the fact that she was the only who had retained counsel, Korb assured me he had never heard from a lawyer or knew of her representation.

7)I then began to discuss my lack of understanding of how someone such as Alison who helped to plan fundraising events, went to Vegas to support this organization and had never said anything directly negative about WAKA (at least not on the blog) had caught the wrath of the ban hammer. Was it because she was dating Chan Chan? Were the DC hipsters upset about her choice of representation in Vegas? Did they feel left out because they’d never had the pleasure of her jello shots? No answers…

8)We discussed that the very people they banned were the heart and soul of WAKA Bayshore and that the reason they spoke up is because they actually cared. He didn’t disagree.

9)He admitted that they should have handled this entire process differently and that MLoop had certainly made some mistakes during this process. “But we all make mistakes and we can only improve in the future”…so to you banned people, they messed up but don’t expect an apology.

10)I mentioned that a league wide email from someone with a brain at the corporate office might go a long way towards clarifying concerns and easing tensions. Korb indicated he had contemplated such a venture, but had not done so to date.

11)When I asked him if he was concerned about the impending revenue loss, he responded that he was of course concerned by a loss of revenue, but that he didn’t think the hit would be as significant as the blog has made it out to be. (wait, wasn’t the ban/boycott list and revenue calculations started after the cooler video was put up?)

12)There were some other rumblings, mostly from my stomach because I forgot to bring a sammich…Korb disappeared before the quarterfinals started, and MLoop left shortly thereafter. Chandler, if I left anything out from this synopsis that I told you on Saturday, feel free to fill it in…I blame the Andre.

So now that the Korb/MLoop Chronicles were finished for the day, let’s get down to that historic championship game, shall we?

After 6 offensively charged innings (0-0 tie) we were forced into extra innings. Kansas City rules came into effect and let me tell you, the offensive futility continued. I was busy eating spiked Watermelon put together by Jaime’s own Masterbatters team…her team is actually pretty cool and she seemed far more laid back. Despite providing a scouting report to the green team as I had umpired the semifinal game for the pink team, they still managed to not do anything to push a winning run across. So after 8 innings of fun and excitement, Ty broke the news that this game was going to a kickoff. Allegedly, the captains met before the 8th inning began to discuss what would happen if the game was still tied. Queue the video…

This video was taken from my phone, so the quality isn't great and I was a bit intoxicated by this point




bumped by bull...way too much great info to be buried below two silly posts

You guys going??

What's wrong with this Poster??


Proceeds to benefit Waka and PAL?? How does that work?? And the Pub Crawl is at MacDinton's? How is that a Pub Crawl and who is organizing this? Care to let us know Waka Powers that lurk our blog?? And what kind of Costume are you supposed to wear for Thanksgiving?

"Courage"

Since these lovely ladies are of the chubby catholic variety, they probably were too busy thinking about getting drunk and giving Melvins, to concentrate on the impending hurdles.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ruben's Christmas Card 2010

In the midst of all this hate on the blog, thought I'd share some early Christmas joy with everyone.
For those of you who attended the party at our house this past Saturday, you were lucky enough to see this live. For the rest of you, here's an early Christmas card to you all from Ruben (or so he proclaims at the end). It's what happens when you mix Ruben + rum + our new hardwood floors. Enjoy.

video

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The OC is Coming With You

Hello all. Do you like how that title can be read in a couple ways? I do.

Many of you know me as Jack from Off Constantly, and many of you know me personally as J.W. I've played 5 seasons of Bayshore Division kickball and dominated the only season of Big Guava kickball. I love kickball. Some folks think it's an ironic thing: adults playing a child's game. I think it's my favorite day of the week, where I get to hang out with dozens of friends, hundreds of acquaintences and well-wishers (in that they don't wish me any specific harm), run around a little bit, have a couple (or several) beers, and get the competitive juices flowing.

In my time as a loyal WAKA customer, I've recruited, directly or indirectly, at least 20 folks to sign up, and many of them have in turn become loyal WAKA customers. If this was Amway, I'd be doing pretty well for myself. I was a part of building what is now everyone's favorite team, Off Constantly. I loved WAKA, the division, everything. Ty and Jaime, WAKA associates, are amongst my friends and have each played on Off Constantly at least one season.

And then WAKA went and dumped on my friends.



Now I'm not going to play with WAKA anymore.*

I met MLoop and I met Kegger, the two folks WAKA sent down to run the captain's meeting this last season. Why the hell Kegger was there other than to act like a dickhead, be obnoxious, and drink free beer, I don't know. I'd never met the guy and the first thing he does is insult my team. Thanks, guy, go smoke another bowl.

MLoop seemed like a decent enough guy, but his answers to our concerns left more than a little to be desired. Lightning? Apathy? Just let us play 10 games, or just tell us the real reason (insurance costs and need for more money for the national office to fund Keggers' free beer and all the levels of management and top notch customer service they have, I presume).

Now they're banning people for blog posts that are mostly jokes? Give me a break.

So, thanks Jaime and Ty for being good WAKA reps (to myself and the OC at least). Sorry you guys work for such a sorry entity. The OC is out.**

*Except maybe taking the summer team to Vegas, assuming they don't hit me with the ban hammer for this post.

**Can't say for sure whether or not the entire roster is out, but the majority and the official team are.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Just Felt Like Singing For You Guys


Since "Brooke Loves Yella's Karaoke Lyrics" and because I love this song, I guess inspiration hit me. The timing seems about right.

Cee Lo Green – "Forget You"

I see you kickballin' down at PAL Fields
It's the game I love
and I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
Oo, oo, oooooooo!

I guess my honest concerns about the league
Were just way too much
I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
And fuck MLoop too!

I said, if I was quieter, I’d still be with ya
Ha, now ain’t that some shit? (ain’t that some shit?)
And although there’s pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a…
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooo!

Yeah I’m sorry, I pointed out your service has gotten shotty,
But that don’t mean I can’t get you square.
I guess Kickball Society is an xbox and WAKA's more atari,
But the way you play your banning game just ain’t fair.

I pity the fool that pays $75 to you
Well...
(oh shit WAKA’s a gold digger)
(thought you should know fellow kickball niggaz)
Ooooooh
I’ve got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend, Ty

I see you kickballin' down at PAL Fields
It's the game I love
and I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooooo!

I guess my honest concerns about the league
Were just way too much
I’m like,
WAKA, Fuck you!
And fuck MLoop too!

I said, if I was quieter, I’d still be with ya
Ha, now ain’t that some shit? (ain’t that some shit?)
And although there’s pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a…
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooooooo!



Here's the video to the full version. Warning, NSFW.

Monday, November 8, 2010

One Week Later

So it's been a full week since WAKA started swinging the Ban Hammer and crushing fools in the Bayshore Division. So what's new?
  • DPT called for a boycott, and so far 20% of Fall 2010 registered players have pledged to never play for WAKA again. Add to that three team captains who have told me they are willing to get their teams to leave. This is quite amazing since we haven't even announced details on a new place to call home. Speaking of...
  • Plans for a new home are in the works.  Please keep in mind that WAKA locks up fields a year in advance... whereas our people are scrambling to get something official in two weeks time.  I think we'll be able to speak more about this later in the week, and I think most people will be happy with the outcome.
  • To my knowledge, four of the five people banned have not heard ANYTHING from WAKA since the infamous MLoop letter.  Johnathan Korb, the Director of Customer Service, has responded to emails sent by members of our league.  Thankfully, he's said in a few of those responses that the blog wasn't really a factor in the bans.  This revelation would be a huge victory for Freedom of Speech if only he were able to offer up another explanation.  So far, he's hiding behind "privacy concerns."  That is also an acceptable excuse... but it implies he would be willing to tell us banned people what happened.  Sounds like it's "Open Letter to Johnathan time!"

    "Dear Johnathan... you have my email address.  Please let me know what WAKA policy I violated, what altercation I was a part of, or how I failed to adhere to your published rules of kickball.  Considering that I was told by both Tyrus and Jaime (both WAKA contractors) that a banned list existed due to comments on the blog, I can only assume that you are a liar.  I know of at least two other people who heard the same thing from those contractors.  So please, correct my ignorance.  Thanks in advance."
  • One of the five banned people has had conversations with WAKA.  I hope that person comes forward and tells their story.
  • Finally, it was quite cold this weekend.  Gorecki did a horrible job estimating the amount of firewood needed to keep his guests comfortable.  Thankfully, Bull came to the rescue:


Have a good week.

    Sunday, November 7, 2010

    Suck it WAKA

    Friday, November 5, 2010

    The District of Columbia is Watching

    Here is a chart of how many visits we've gotten from the DC & Arlington area, per day, since September 1st.  Thankfully, WAKA has made it clear in a few emails that the blog had nothing to do with the banning of it's contributors.  So they must be visiting to share the laughs.


    We have always maintained that anyone can contribute to this community.  Thus, if any WAKA employees out there would like posting rights, please send a request to donkeynoms@gmail.com.  We would love to have you submit haikus during the next MLoop Appreciation Week.  Thanks in advance.

    Thursday, November 4, 2010

    My email and Mloops response

    Dear Mloop,
    All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Washington and find those Waka fucks who are making these bans, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfucks are next.

    Love,
    Sean & Silent Rollo.



    Mloops response

    Who's the biatch now? Suck it bayshore.



    My contact with WAKA

    Below is my email to WAKA and their response:

    To whom it may concern,

    I’ve been a WAKA player for 10 seasons now and I must say I enjoy the game of kickball as well as the company of the friends I’ve made while doing so. I know you’ve received other emails from the FL-Bayshore division already, but I’d like to let you know my letter is not one of complaint but one of inquisition.

    I understand your right as a private company to remove anyone from playing under your umbrella that you choose. But can you please offer me an explanation as to why each of these individuals has been banned from play? I just want to make sure for myself that these players weren’t banned from WAKA for just voicing their opinions. After all, the adage goes “the squeaky wheel gets the oil” not “the squeaky wheel gets removed and we’ll just ride around with one less wheel”, right? I’m sure there’s a perfectly sound reason to remove these individuals; so if you could just forward me a breakdown, that would be great.

    Also, there’s a “List of grievances” located online outlining the complaints/questions raised by our division that weren’t met with any sort of resolution; I’ve attached a pie chart (fig. 1-A) illustrating the customer service received by us as a whole. So I’d also like to ask that someone up there in big WAKA HQ take the time to explain to me why these issues weren’t addressed by the people you placed in charge of addressing such issues (i.e. Division Rep, Customer Service Rep, those in charge of “banning”)

    Finally, I’d like to thank you for your time in answering my questions and finally clearing the air about this whole debacle. I know how important customer feedback in to a company that reaches so many individuals so let me remind you that the easiest way to keep players coming back and the money rolling in is to just be open and honest with them. Which is all we here in the FL-Bayshore division have been after since the beginning. I’ve also included a customer service graph(Fig.2-B) as a visual aid.

    I hope while reading this you take my visual aids in jest and my email to heart. Have a great day & I look forward to your response.


    Geoff Leighly

    Loyal Waka Customer

    ******************

    Geoff,

    Thanks for your e-mail. A bigger thanks for playing 10 seasons! Due to privacy issues we can’t discuss any individual player issues. I am sure you can understand the reason behind that concern. However, to clear up one issue we are more than open to discuss any and all ideas to make WAKA Kickball better. I have also made sure to always keep a “virtual” open door policy to any ideas that would make our player’s experience better. In the near future I plan to visit the Tampa area and would be glad to chat about your concerns.

    Thank you,

    Jonathan Korb

    Director Customer Service

    WAKA Kickball

    The World Adult Kickball Association

    Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends.

    KICKBALL.COM

    You have to give it to him... at least HE replied to all of us. Where are the other people we emailed?

    Get on Down the Road


    Ruben Kajkowski aka “RÜBS
    The Glo in Soul Glo
    Best pitcher in the league
    All-star third baseman
    12 seasons, season 2-13
    final 6 seasons as captain
    57 wins in six seasons
    possibly a team history 100 wins, division history is incomplete
    14-0 undefeated season, last 10 count regular season before you took away 2 games
    3 division titles
    3 tournament titles
    3 flip cup titles
    1 crystal pitcher
    5 BeerJam belts
    help banned munting
    2 week suspension for my “words”
    2 players banned from the league
    numerous personal donations to the board to raise extra money for PAL
    my stats ON the field are mirrored by my stats OFF the field
    HENCE, the first rule of bayshore kickball is named after me
    i.e. I piss excellence
    SOOOO Glad our comments on the blog do not impact the decision making to ban players because Jonathan Korb, Director of Customer Service you really lived up to your name. You have certainly directed your customers to seek services elsewhere. And since WAKA has up held freedom of speech, i can say your customer service is shit. so that would make you the director of shit. and what is the gateway of shit? the sphincter or asshole which when you do your job apparently makes a sound, "mloop." >enter Team America where we are dicks and they are…>
    - see kids, that is satire and good clean fun. but of course no one is reading this but my bayshore cohorts but i will go on because i feel it will be better for the division...um, blog.
    now all these moves have been made to "better" the division. Funny, as one of the longest registered customers, i was NEVER asked if banning these players is better for MY division.
    Let’s see.
    banning a national tournament certified ref and field sheriff - NO. I find that to be a great asset. I recall over several seasons seeking out Nate to clarify rules
    banning two ladies who helped organize the best party in my 12 seasons that raised the most money for our local charity - NO. Again a great asset to the league and more so to the charity who saw their county budget cut and greatly appreciated the additional revenue created.
    banning the captain of one of my rival opponents who keeps the team legacy alive of a person we lost two years ago. - NO. He too is an asset as he bridges the bayshore community from seeing each other 20, oh yeah NOW 16 times a year into an everyday blog or weekly gathering.
    banning my co captain of 12 seasons - NO. If i have to explain the value of 6 year customer who has advertised and recruited for you for free, well you are either stupid or dont give a shit. my guess is both.
    I think if you do your job correctly, you will find that my opinion is mirrored by the league and NOT by your decision. This is completely a personal attack on our league, our friends and the business WE grew for you here in Tampa.


    A few years ago, WAKA censored a picture that was posted on our division webpage. That spawned this blog. A communal tool that is head and shoulders above ANYTHING you do or other divisions do. It’s to a point you cant manage so you banned players and are possibly facing a mass exodus. Do you really want to challenge the same people who kicked your ass with a website to go play and grow another league in OUR backyard?!?!?!?
    The truth of the matter is YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US and so,
    My team, MY ENTIRE TEAM, ToeJammers aka Soul Glo will not be registering for another WAKA season. And as such, all recruiting and advertising I and we have done for WAKA is over.

    You have a marketing person. I saw an email from her posted. Perhaps she should right the ship and explain how it is nearly 10 times as expensive to produce a new customer than it is to retain a customer and that a negative customer on average will cost a business anywhere from 3 to 6 potentials customers.

    I gotta tell you, I find it completely hilarious that you banned these people. You literally had people, while complaining STILL using your product. You were winning. You couldnt give the league two more weeks? Or maybe just keep the 8 weeks and make one night a month per team a double header. So many options and you ban players. Fired the customer. How moronic.

    Wow, maybe I will take back the satirical tone earlier, you might be assholes after all.

    -RÜBS

    Wednesday, November 3, 2010

    Trivia

    Hey MLoop... we got first place in trivia tonight. This win is for you, big boy.

    Love,
    Chandler, Stephanie, Chris, Gorecki, Brie, April (tall), Angie, Jared and Karen.
    (aka: "Turds Go MLOOP")


    Kickballers 4 The Cure

    Kickballers 4 The Cure

    Help the children of St. Jude in the Give thanks walk for the cure 5k on November 20th 2010.
    If any of you are interested in joining or donating that would be cool...allegedly

    WAKA Responds... Kinda

    Today we got a few responses from WAKA... sort of.  Stephanie and Chris both sent emails to various WAKA employees, and you can read Chris' in his post yesterday.

    Johnathan Korb sent them pretty much the exact same response (with a few tweaks).  In Stephanie's reply, he added: "Your team was a lot of fun in Vegas this past year and I hope you will return in 2011."

    In the reply sent to Chris, he references this blog:
    ----------------
    Chris,

    Thank you for your e-mail. 
    We are always open to  feedback that will help make the WAKA kickball experience better for all of our players.  The fact you took the time to send us an e-mail with your concerns speaks great volumes on your overall concern for WAKA Kickball.  I will continue to closely monitor the FL Bayshore division to make sure we continue to listen to the players and hear out their concerns.

    Due to several concerns over the past year we have decided to ask a few players not come back to play in any WAKA divisions.  The blog you mention really had nothing to do with the decision as there were other circumstances that led to this decision. By no means was it an easy decision for WAKA to make but it was one that we felt would be better for the division.

    Thank you again for taking the time and for playing WAKA Kickball.

    Thank you,

    Jonathan Korb
    Director Customer Service
    WAKA Kickball
    The World Adult Kickball Association 
    ----------------

    Well there you have it.  Posting on DPT had "nothing to do with the decision."  So... what did?  How the Hell did they even know who to ban?  Was it just coincidence that they kicked out 4 people who have complained and 1 person who happens to date me?  And if there were "other circumstances," why haven't they told anyone what those circumstances consist of?

    It never ceases to amaze me how stupid WAKA thinks we are.  Kind of like that time they told us we couldn't play 10 game seasons due to fear of lighting strikes in the summer. If they just came out and said they wanted to increase their profit margins by cutting the cost of field rental, we would at least respect their honesty.

    You can read more about that as we continue to compile our list of grievances here.

    In any case, those of you who do not participate in the boycott can sleep easy.  WAKA has pledged to "closely monitor" the Bayshore Division and "continue to listen to the players and hear out their concerns."  Because... they've done such a great job doing those things in the past.

    Tuesday, November 2, 2010

    Boycotts and Rabble-Rousing

    I know most of you, like me, have decided to boycott WAKA in the future. While it's great to let everyone who reads the blog know this, I think it's even better to let other people with positions of power in WAKA know your concerns. This is the email I sent to hr@kickball.com, as well as a few other WAKA employee email addresses I came across.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    To Whom It May Concern,

    I am aware that many, if not all of you have received emails about this issue already, but I wanted to have my concerns on the record. Normally I would have contacted my division representatives, but, as you may have heard, that is no longer a viable option.

    I have been a member of the FL Bayshore division since I moved to Florida in July of 2008. Through this division I have made a great many friends, some of whom I count among my closest and most important. Until yesterday I remained an active and loyal member of the division. I have been a team captain and I was even a certified referee at this year's Founder's Cup tournament. But, as of now I will no longer be registering for any WAKA events in the future.

    Several of my friends in the league have been banned from registering for/being a spectator at any WAKA event. The main reason for this, it seems, is that they chose to voice their concerns about our league on our division blog. This blog is not affiliated with WAKA, in that, it is hosted, maintained and contributed to privately by members of the division. When it became apparent that this blog was causing problems with our regional representative, Michael (MLoop), one of our members, a friend and teammate of mine, chose to reach out to him with a thoughtful and polite email. In this email he attempted to open a line of communication so these issues could be discussed and hopefully resolved. Five days later, he and four other members of the division were sent curt and dismissive form emails informing them that they were banned with no reasons given.

    As it states in email signature, Michael is the Florida Regional Customer Service Manager. The job description for a customer service representative on the kickball.com website states that "WAKA Customer Service Representatives are the "face" of their WAKA division and are primarily responsible to provide players with a great WAKA kickball experience". When presented with our concerns and approached about opening a line of communication, our customer service manager shirked these responsibilities and resorted to refusing service.

    There is one line in Michael's banishment emails that troubles me. He states, "WAKA is aware of you dissatisfaction with the FL Bayshore division". The truth is, in fact, the exact opposite. We as a group are passionate about our division and want it to be the best possible kickball experience it can. When communication with our representatives breaks down and we have no reliable resources for answers, we become dissatisfied with our representatives, not the division.

    When I was in Vegas for the Founder's Cup I had great interactions with everyone I met from WAKA. Everyone I came into contact with was thoughtful, considerate, and kind. While it is not something I would have chosen to do before yesterday, I plan to take my kickball business elsewhere. WAKA is not the only kickball league in Tampa, and I believe WAKA is going to lose a number of loyal customers.

    Thank you for your time,

    Chris Souder

    DOG FOUND!!



    Sorry to interrupt the kickball talk but I wanted to see if anyone could help me out…

    I found a beautiful Husky-mix breed yesterday in the downtown park (next to the Children's museum).

    He had a collar but the tag attached was too scratched up to read and he isn't micro-chipped. We searched for about an hour for anyone around that he might have run from before he followed us and jumped in the car.

    He's SUPER friendly and well trained. I'd love to find the owner but my vet informed me that lots of dogs are "abandoned” at dog parks in hopes that someone will take them home.

    If you know anyone in the downtown Tampa area that has lost their dog or anyone that might be willing to take this guy in, please let me know!

    Monday, November 1, 2010

    WAKA Bans DPT Contributors; Shuns Freedom of Speech

    Hello DPT readers, WAKA employees and random internet surfers.  As many of you know, there have been rumors about the World Adult Kickball Association removing some of us from the league.   Unfortunately, those rumors are true.  Here is the story:

    There is a growing number of us in the Bayshore Division that feel the quality of league management has reached an all-time low.  When questioned about league changes, our representatives have either ignored us or lied to us.  We were told two seasons ago that the field-lights duration could not be altered, yet with one phone call to PAL we were able to keep the lights on later.  We were also told our season went from 10 games to 8 due to threat of lightning and "season fatigue."  We were then told WAKA worked out a deal to pay for parking, only to find out half our party budget was used for the expense.  The entire list of grievances is quite long, and will be officially documented on this blog.

    While some of us complained about these issues with harsh words, many used satire to make our points.  There was never ANY response by our league representatives despite us being told they constantly monitored DPT.  Yet on September 1st of this year, our division rep (Jaime) informed me that MLoop wanted to ban Nate L. because of his comments on this blog.  Since she claimed to have "talked him out of it," I never reported the threat.

    The day before the tournament (Oct. 22nd), I received a phone call giving me a heads up that a "list" had been compiled of people who would be banned after this season due to (you guessed it) comments about WAKA.  So I decided to talk to Jaime and Ty at the tournament.  Both of them admitted the rumor was true, and Ty even asked me not to tell anyone about our conversation.  My biggest concern was simple: how can the first message we ever get from a WAKA customer service rep (ie: MLoop) be one that says we're banned?  If they were so upset about our comments, why not talk to us in hopes of retaining loyal customers?  Ty agreed with me that there should be some communication between the disgruntled players and WAKA management, so last week I sent MLoop this email:
    --------------------------------------

    Dear Michael,

        Last week I was informed of the "rumor" that certain players within the Bayshore Division will be asked to not return in 2011 due to comments made in our community forum (aka: "the blog").  There is no doubt in my mind about the validity of this rumor, so I wanted to reach out to you first in hopes of opening up some communication before you start swinging the Ban Hammer.

        Our division just finished up its 13th season, and many of us have been playing for more than ten of those.  Twice a year we fill 380+ roster spots in less than seven days.  Our returning player percentage is well over 75% each season despite our out-of-pocket costs rising almost 42% in two and a half years. Every year we raise thousands of dollars OUTSIDE of kickball by organizing our own charitable events, most of which is donated to PAL who owns our fields.  The Alcoballics were very well received in Las Vegas and won the Best Team Performance by a landslide.  We also sent two refs to the Founder's Cup this year, who were constantly told they were two of the best refs in attendance (both of whom are admins on "the blog").

        Our customer loyalty to WAKA is a double-edged sword for your organization.  You have a guaranteed sell-out each season... but many of us have been around long enough to see the degradation of quality from the league and its expanding overhead costs.  So far, we've only reacted by speaking our minds and venting in our own public forum (as protected by our First Amendment rights).

        Much like the early colonists, we feel we are being taxed without any representation.  Season fees continue to increase, the number of games continue to decrease, new rules are imposed and our traditional party budget was deceitfully slashed this year.  It has also been made quite clear that league policy and rule customization is prohibited, despite us having a set-up which does allow flexibility.

        While most of us choose to vent our frustrations with wit and satire, it is true that some comments are mean spirited (and not really constructive).  However, I assure you that all of them relate to an issue which has gone ignored by our league representatives.  WAKA has been almost completely silent about our complaints, and the few explanations we do get are easily debunked with one or two phone calls.

        Maybe we're going about everything the wrong way.  Maybe we should (as a division) draft up formal and cordial emails clearly listing our complaints, issues and accusations of hypocrisy.  But is that really our job as customers?  Is it insane to think the organization we each pay hundreds of dollars to every year could keep an accurate tab of our climate?  Protecting the quality of our kickball experience shouldn't be work for us.

        I guarantee you that all Bayshore veterans realize how "replaceable" we are to your organization.  The fact that no WAKA employee has ever reached out to us (despite behind-the-scenes threats of banishment) speaks volumes about our perceived value.  But one reason we are so replaceable is due to the hype we've already generated within our own community.  People don't join the Bayshore Division for the quality of kickball administration.  They join because they meet us in bars, hear about our trips, read our stories and want to be a part of our social club.  We are your greatest viral marketing tool in the Tampa Bay area.  But we have the right to express displeasure through any and all mediums, especially if we feel we're being deceived or treated unfairly. 

        So I'm not sure where this leaves us, but any communication is better than none.  I look forward to hearing from you.

    -Chandler

    --------------------------------------

    While we may still be at an impasse, at least I gave MLoop a great chance to address specific concerns.  Sadly, a bunch of us received the following email this morning:

    --------------------------------------

    WAKA is aware of your dissatisfaction with the FL Bayshore division.  The  polices we have in place are there with strong reasons behind them.
    We have decided it is in all of our best interests that we part ways at this point. Thus you will not be allowed to register or be spectator for any future WAKA divisions or events.
     
    Michael........a.k.a. MLoop
    Florida Regional Customer Service Manager
    WAKA® Kickball
    The World Adult Kickball Association®
    --------------------------------------

    As of now, the banned list includes: myself, Nate L., Kevin (aka: YellowBird), Jenn V., and Alison.

    It's interesting to note that Alison has NEVER made a post on DPT, and the few comments she has made were not critical of WAKA.  She was basically banned for dating me.  I do not believe that MLoop would have knowledge of our relationship, so I can only conclude that Ty grouped us together and helped create the banned list.  Ty talked to Alison and myself for an hour at the tournament and informed me that he and MLoop speak regularly.  I'm willing to bet that during his talks with MLoop last week, Ty erroneously implied Alison had anything to do with my own views.

    Anyway... I was extremely disappointed that after my carefully crafted email, MLoop sent a four sentence canned reply which contained horrible grammar.  Really, WAKA? This is who you hire as a customer service representative? Do you even screen these people with writing or personality tests?  I decided to send him a reply and copy Sarah Nelson (WAKA Marketing) and Sarah Park Manchester (WAKA Human Resources):
    --------------------------------------
    Michael,

       While this doesn't come as a surprise, it is very disappointing you and your cohorts have decided not to tackle any of the issues presented. It is especially disappointing that I had to reach out to you in order to find out the status of my future eligibility. I do hope that in your response, the word "your" is intended as the "royal you," as these concerns are held by many within the Bayshore Division.  Basically, you're only shooting a messenger.

       I guess our last order of business is to find out if I'm the only martyr in this ordeal.  I've been tipped off that there is a list of ineligible players, and I'd really hate for those individuals to go through the process of writing you a thoughtful email only to get a curt response.  If you don't wish to funnel that information through me directly, hopefully someone within your organization has the sense to contact all other players in question.

       In any case, I look forward to funneling business in our area to a cheaper and locally run league.  Be sure to read all about it on Donkey Punch Toboggan.  :)

    -Chandler

    --------------------------------------

    Obviously I have not gotten a reply, although Sarah Nelson commented on a DPT post today (she had to have gotten the link from someone in WAKA).

    So what now?
    • DPT is calling for a complete boycott of WAKA.  Any organization who ignores freedom of speech and bans long-time returning customers due to hurt feelings does not deserve our money.  If you would like to join this boycott, please comment with 1) your name 2) number of seasons played 3) any titles you've ever head within the division.
    • Join Kickball Society.  This is a Tampa owned and operated league, and costs about $20 less per season than WAKA.  We know the owners and in their brief existence they have already tweaked rules based on our suggestions.  Unlike WAKA, they desperately desire our business and will not ban anyone for speaking their mind in a public forum.  There are already plans to bring the league to South Tampa, and we will update you once that is finalized.
    • Tell everyone you know.  The Better Business Bureau is obsolete.  Instead, post this blog on FaceBook and refer your friends here.  As I tried to express to MLoop, WE are the best marketing strategy for a kickball league.  Have you ever seen television commercials or advertisements for WAKA?  No!  They rely on us to get drunk, have fun and bring friends into the league through word-of-mouth.
    • Continue to speak your mind.  The arrogance of WAKA can not be ignored.  Our complaints were 100% valid and we STILL have never gotten straight answers.  Even if you don't choose to boycott, demand better customer service.  When your pancakes at IHOP are undercooked, they don't ban you from their restaurant for complaining.
    DPT's next order of business is to compile all of our ignored complaints from the previous two seasons.  We also have a TON of things in the works regarding today's banishment, but we've been advised not to talk about them at this time.  Stay tuned, and remember to comment if you wish to partake in the boycott.

    Oh... and thanks to those who sent supportive emails and texts today.  You kids have some free beers coming your way!

    -Chandler

    Weekly Crap

    Well, posts have been slow (as off-seasons tend to be)... but that won't be the case this week.  There will be some major announcements on either Wednesday or Thursday regarding the rumors going around.  Some of it will be expected, but some of it will blow your mind.  It's going to take a day or so for me to compile everything. Stay tuned!

    In the meantime, enjoy a short story I've put together from the recent Tournament Day.  100% of the quotes are 90% accurate.

    Alcoballics: "Oh snap! That's a pretty nice cake! Alison must have spent hours in Chandler's kitchen creating it. The spread of chocolate alone is immaculate and could have only been done in an anally annoying fashion... and look at those letters and balloons! Obviously someone spent an insane amount of time debating over the different cake toppings at Sweetbay! Let's sing!"

    Chandler: "Ok, Angie.  When they're done singing 'Happy Birthday,' blow out your candles."
    Angie: "But... there aren't any candles."
     Chandler: "Don't worry about that. Just get down there and blow them out. You know... pretend."

    Angie: "Ok, I'm going to make a wish!"

    Angie: "Mmmpphhhhhhhhh!!!!"


    Angie: "God bless America!"

    Happy Halloween DPT


    The first installment of my weekly comic contributions...