Week 6 Picks

**Closed.  Many people have the same picks. A lot of drinks will be bought tonight.**

VIP Room at Wings Gone Wild

So I think I've killed a brain cell or two from drinking (but hey its football season), but I remember someone asking me awhile ago if I planned on renting out the upstairs VIP room at Wings Gone Wild for the Alabama vs Florida game on Oct 2. Well I mentioned to this person that I'll be out of town that weekend but I can still reserve it for them.
So I have done just that and now I cant remember who requested the damn room.(Bull maybe??) Lol. So is there an interest of people wanting to use this VIP room this weekend? The owner has waived the $250 deposit that he normally requires and just asks that we spend that amount while you are up there. Given the size of the group that attends, that shouldn't be hard to achieve.
So if someone wants to remind me who I originally spoke to about this or if someone else wants to coordinate this from here and take the room, be my guest. I need to tell wings something soon so respond on here or talk to me more about it at the fields.
Go Gators.

ESPN's WAKA Gameday

Fowler - Sunrise on a Thursday and Tampa is berserk. The ToeJammers are on people's minds again, in the mix, back in the hunt for the title and today on the edge of madness with kickoff 11 hours away, one of the few worthy challengers Yeagabombs comes to town.

Announcer - Welcome to Waka Gameday, pouring drinks by MacDinton's

Fowler - I'm Chris Fowler alongside my colleagues Desmond Howard, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso. It's a midseason week with several top teams playing bottom feeders so let's get right into your Upset Alerts.

Desmond - Dollar wells was tired of everybody having a 'Bye Week' when they played them. So they changed their name to that. New Name leads to a New Result. Bye Week (the old Dollar Wells) prevails.

Herbstreit - I think the Ligers defense will slow it down tonight and they pull a Shocking Upset.

Corso - Can you believe this? I Kick That upsets Balls N Dolls tonight. You better believe it.

Fowler - Around the landscape today, let's start off with I Need A Refill vs. Off Constantly

Desmond - I like I Need A Refill. I'm impressed by the way they have been playing the last couple of games. The Off Constantly offense is going to struggle vs. the solid I Need A Refill defense.

Corso - Not So Fast My Friend! I Need A Refill could use a couple more wins, but they don't get one tonight. Off Constantly wins and wins big!

Herbstreit - The Off Constantly offense is dynamic. They are the only bottom team that can score and beat you. Off Constantly gets it done tonight.

Fowler - Moving onto the Alcoballics vs. Brown Chicken Brown Cow

Herbstreit - The Alcoballics are a proven team and are on a Las Vegas mission. I think this will be a defense struggle and it's the Alcoballics offense that finds a way to win this game.

Corso - That's a good pick, a very good pick. The Alcoballics use a balanced offense backed by an outstanding defense. They won't be challenged tonight. No No, Not today.

Desmond - I also think it's a close game Coach and here is why. Last two week the Alcoballics scored 1 but allowed 7. They need some playmakers to step up. I think several step up tonight and it starts on offense. Alcoballics win

Fowler - On to our showcase game. ToeJammers vs. Yeagabombs

Desmond - I haven't been impressed with the Yeagabombs this season. There's no doubt about it, the ToeJammers Defense will play with their swag back causing trouble for the Yeagabombs offense. The ToeJammers prevail tonight.

Herbstreit - It's all about coming in and executing tonight. I think the Yeagabombs are able to get some big plays and despite the ToeJammers 2nd ranked defense in the conference, they explode offensively. However I also think the ToeJammers will make adjustments during the game to score runs with the Yeagabombs. This is going to be a tough game for both but I like the Yeagabomb defense to have more douche plays tonight. I think The Yeagabombs survive and win in a shootout under the lights.

Corso - Kirk, I give you a big NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! I think it's a low scoring game and the defense leads the way. It's a classic matchup. You got the Yeagabombs Offense averaging 3.6 runs scored vs. the ToeJammers Defense averaging 2.4 runs allowed. Something’s got to give. And that something is right here; give me that Yeager machine, shot glasses and Flag. You kids shouldn't be drinking that, it’s bad for you. Ahhhh Get that stuff outta here (*** Yeager machine goes flying to ground***). Give me that Jheri Curl Wig and Soul-Glo hair product. ToeJammers win in a game that's close, this close.

Fowler - Enjoy your kickball Thursday

Week 6 Vegas Odds

Last weeks Vegas Odds Results

Record= 5-3

Number of perfect spreads= 3

Number of perfect totals= 0

Number of games with total difference of one= 4

Not a very good week for Vegas

(The) Todd Had a Birthday Party; Rest of Team Stayed Home to Murder Kittens

Todd, the social butterfly of a notoriously cliquey and axe body sprayed Balls and Dolls team, was generous enough to host a high quality birthday party this past Friday. Sandwiches from Wright's Deli, keg, drinking games, and a quality PA system that led to both Bull and Ernie scaring every dog in a 10 block radius with live karaoke; all the ingredients were there for a memorable time. Todd, Rosey, and Chandler even broke out the guitars to provide the soundtrack. One thing was missing though, any member, other than Todd himself, of Balls and Dolls. Apparently the appeal of putting on the sequined t-shirt, applying some self tanner and mildly drugging the local talent at The Kennedy was too much for any of the fellas on Balls and Dolls to stop by the party. Hell, Todd's sister was there and she lives in Illinois. Bayshore was well represented though, a diverse group of kickballers were in attendance to hold a master class in drinking game execution.

As you can see from the break down, there was a college recruitment brochure level of diversity at the party. Unlike his teammates, Todd has the ability to socialize with other people and not instantly make them think "asshole". Man, is this guy on the wrong team. Here's a pie chart. Enjoy.
Well done Todd, thanks for hosting. Seriously, you should join a different team.

EDIT: Updated the attendance chart and added an extra one because I felt like it.

Power Rankings Week 6

Perhaps instead of Vegas...

...We Should Stay and Enter This.

I heard the streaker from last season's tournament was going to be the pace setter. Just sayin'...

http://www.imathlete.com/events/CalienteBareDare5K

Week 5 Picks & Recap

So despite balloons, streamers and cake... MLoop did not show up for his Appreciation Week.  While it was a little disappointing and anticlimactic, I think most of the league had fun.  "I guess I'm not surprised.  Don't celebrities not show up to their events all the time? I think Paris Hilton does that a lot..." pondered Knowlton after the Ligers' game.

Oh well... maybe we just aren't that important.  :(

- So Griff went perfect (8-0) in the picks... and gets one drink from Caruso, who lost yet again with 4 incorrect guesses.  Good job, Bambi.

- Shocker Rob tells me that the Yeagabombs used they Douche Play against them (purposefully dropping an "infield fly").  Tisk tisk, Yeagabombs.  The ToeJammers and Tony haven't even done that this year.

That is all.

Remember kids...

While you're off having fun on the kickball fields...



Mishka is at home...



Alone...



In the microwave...



Waiting for hockey season. :(

Week 5 Picks

**CLOSED! Lots of people missed out this week.  Tisk tisk.**

The District of Columbia is now the second largest "state" in terms of traffic to DPT.  While I don't doubt that Obama checks the blog, he can not account for all the unique visitors we get on a daily basis.  So why the sudden increase from our Nation's Capital?

Could it be the WAKA brass are watching our community? They're stationed in DC... the birthplace of our great league.  If so... hi guys/girls!  Feel free to request posting rights or make comments (no rights required).

Here are the picks.  Get them in by 4pm on Thursday.

ESPN's WAKA Gameday

Fowler - In a year that already has provided some chaos, surprise contenders are bound to emerge for conference titles. This weekend will provide some insight into who is still a contender for the title. Your Gameday crew is up next with that insight.

Announcer - Welcome to Waka Gameday, pouring drinks by MacDinton's

Fowler - Glad to you have with us on this glorious sunny day in Tampa, FL. I'm Chris Fowler alongside my colleagues Desmond Howard, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso. The fans here are already loud and it will only get louder tonight. If you can't handle the decibel level, then the PAL fields are no place for you. Let's get right into you Upset Alerts.

Desmond - What is wrong with this statement - I'd Kick That is 3-1. How can that be? I need A Refill is the more athletic team with a better offense. I'd Kick That is going to get kicked back to reality. I Need A Refill pulls the upset.

Herbstreit - Thee Beer Nuts offense is starting to click. Week in and week out I'm constantly picking this team. It's only a matter of time before they stop letting me down. That comes this week. I think they surprise the Alcoballics and pull the upset tonight.

Corso - Breathing a sigh of relief after last week's close call, I don't think the ToeJammers can avoid a letdown tonight. This team still has concerns. The Ligers upset the ToeJammers tonight just as they did to end the Jammers 15 game winning streak season's ago.

Fowler - Now for Saturday's Selections. From the Bitchslap heard around the fields last week to a possible Bitchslap heard around the league this week. Can Brown Chicken Brown Cow Bitchslap Superbad in a major upset, or will Superbad Bitchslap Brown Chicken Brown Cow around the field they way they did the Alcoballics last week.

Desmond - This is a serious challenge for Brown Chicken Brown Cow tonight. I think they fail it with their Swiss cheese defense. Superbad wins as they have momentum after crushing the Alcoballics last week.

Herbstreit - I think the big thing is for Brown Chicken Brown Cow to play consistent tonight. Their defense is getting better and look for their veteran leadership to step up tonight. I like them to win the game.

Corso - Not SO FAST MY FRIEND! I wouldn't pick Brown Chicken Brown Cow if they were playing a team of rocks.

Fowler - Who will remain a Conference A Contender? An obstacle tonight that is a proven tested team stands in each other’s way. Shockers vs. Yeagabombs. The Shockers have had the Yeagabombs number the last 3 games.

Herbstreit - Hunger and Desire. Who wants this game more? It'll be interesting if the Yeagabomb offense puts up some runs early. The Shockers have allowed 3 runs in the 1st inning the last 2 week, both loses. The Shocker defense gets a big boost this week. The Shockers will get past a determined Yeagabomb squad and hand them their first loss of the season.

Desmond - A lot is at stake for both teams tonight. The Shockers have fantastic athletes but has cracks in the defense right now. The Yeagabombs don't self destruct on defense and they still have one of the most feared offenses in the league. The Yeagabombs prevail in this game.

Corso - Let me tell you one thing, Shockers have been like a bully in the neighborhood. One guy finally beats up the bully and everyone wants a piece of that guy. That's what happened to the Shockers. The Yeagabomb defense is underrated and I think it's their defense today that wins the game for them shockingly in a low scoring game.

Fowler - Our showdown game is WakaShame vs. Pick Me Up. Kirk you will be calling the game on ESPN 8 - The Ocho; tonight so you can't pick the game. But you can give us a key to the game.

Herbstreit - When you look at what is at stake tonight, both teams have so much to play for. You get into the 2nd half of the season and the tournament looming around the corner. An Opportunity to whoever survives this game to have the inside track for the Conference B title and possibly hold out hope for the season & tournament title. Both teams are determined and they are tired of hearing all the conference B criticism. Nothing will be left on the field, the playbooks will be emptied. These teams are going to want to come out early and put some runs on the board to take pressure off their team. Whoever can do that early will have the edge in this game.

Fowler - Along with the headgear, we will have a special celebrity guest picker for our showdown game this week in Billy Mays. How does this game play out?

Desmond - Both coaches have done so much, now they have a chance to add to their impressive resumes. Both teams are playing at a high level right now with balanced and efficient offenses. Both teams have stout defenses. I think this is the most balanced game of the year and nobody wins it. Neither team has an edge. This game ends in a tie.

Billy Mays - I don't know much about kickball but what I do know is.... Right now buy one get one free Bump It!, just pay process and handling only $9.95. You can go from flat to fabulous, perfect volume and style, effortlessly in seconds!! Bumpits self gripping leave-in volumizing hair inserts give you instant volume and let you enjoy FEELING CONFIDENT and BEAUTIFUL, like you just stepped out of a professional salon!! Call now while supplies last, only $9.95 for 4 large Bump It! inserts, 4 mini Bump It! inserts and 2 Hollywood Bump It! inserts. Several orders were shipped to the WakaShame headquarters so I think they will win this game. Bump It! Call Now.

Corso - I think it's a low scoring game and the defense leads the way. The WakaShame defense has the edge tonight. They win behind that defense, but it's a close one. Real close. Closer then the experts think. Hey Billy, I ordered a Bump It! too. What do you think?

Fowler - Enjoy your kickball Thursday

Week 5 Vegas Odds

AppreciHATE!

WTF? I log into DPT today and it looks like a 5 year old's birthday party.  This makes me very uncomfortable since I'm not legally allowed to be near 5 year olds.

Let's start with that "bitch-slap."  Smithkey... your mom hits me harder when she's riding me reverse-cowgirl and slapping me in the face... signaling me to go from a canter to a gallop.  You also used too much powder and hit him in the neck.

Breaker Division... it's sad that a league who has a "Dungeons and Dragons" theme night is probably more fun than 90% of other WAKA leagues in the nation.  Who's idea was that anyway?  The new rep Erik? Or was it Tyrus, who is a well-known World of Warcraft player?  At least HI-MAY doesn't try to impose league-wide theme nights on Bayshore.  If she did, I'd probably cast level 200 "Cock of the Infinite" and turkey slap her back to the Shire with the other hobbits.

So it's MLoop Appreciation Week, huh?  Lame.  But ok, I'll play along.  Consider this the MLoop Haiku Competition.  I'll start (assuming "MLoop" is pronounced "M-Loop" and not one syllable which would resemble the sound of your turds hitting the toilet water):


MLoop wheels and deals
negotiates "free" parking
party budget shrinks


ten games is too long
eight games seems just about right
avoids lightning strikes


do not bring coolers
mandatory "balls and strikes"
MLoop hates freedom

Feel free to submit your own.  Have a hateful week, you fucktards.

Week 5 Power Rankings

M.A.W. has me quite busy, so I quickly threw these rankings together.  The cluster-fuck of #3 through #10 should have some people debating who belongs where.  Victories against Dollar Wells and Team Fab shouldn't help your cause.

Alright, need to get back to the festivities. Next up is the "dance competition"... where contestants dance around questions like: "How come we play 8 games instead of 10?"

One More Reason Why Breaker Is "Better" Than Bayshore

Happy Monday Everyone,

I was pleasantly surprised to receive this neat little tidbit of information in my inbox this morning. As you may know, Breaker Division likes to do a league wide theme instead of individual themes. Why? Well, they say it's to promote league unity but the real reason is that this group of misfits isn't organized or creative enough to come up with their own themes.

Gosh...I can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store for us. Maybe next week will be a Pokemon Theme and then we can mix in some Lord of the Rings, who wouldn't love a hobbit on first base? For a season finale, we can do a tribute to World of Warcraft.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: erik@kickball.com
Sender: noreply@kickball.com
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2010 08:10:06 -0500 (CDT)
To:
Subject: RE: Kickball Theme


A few of you have been asking if we are doing theme's this year and the answer is yes. You don't have to do it if you do not want to, it is just something fun to do during the games. This weeks Theme will be Dungeons and Dragons, I am not sure how this will turn out since we have never done this theme before but it should be fun. Looking to forward to seeing everyone tomorrow.



--
This message was sent by an administrator in the 'FL Breaker - Fall 2010' group at WAKA Kickball. To visit this group, browse to http://www.kickball.com/season/flbreakerfall2010.
--------------------------------------------------------

Bitch-Slap!

Enjoy.

RACE FOR THE CURE - OCT 2ND

The Boobies Say THANKS!!!

TEAM - JOGGING 4 JUGS

Hi guys, your lovable TRINI here! Most of you know that a bunch of us are doing the Race for the Cure race on October 2nd on behalf of honorary member Melissa.. A dear friend of Laura's

Please take a minute to visit our team page and help us reach our donation goal. We would also love to see everyone out there on race day, our KB friends and family cheering all of us on for this event! http://action.komensuncoast.org/site/TR/Race/General?team_id=1233&pg=team&fr_id=1030

Of course nothing would be complete without a Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/event.php?eid=144037975622921&ref=ts

Finally... Just wanted to say thank you in advance for everyone who has already shown their support, helped us out in some way, volunteered or just cheering us on along the way!!!

Here's the list of peeps participating:

Teneille Williams (Captain)

Laura Cook (Captain)

Stephanie Alvarez

Ryan Buchanan

Brie Calcote

Steve Cook

Sara Kilborn

Geoff Leighly

Anita Longton

Juno Paramadevan

Vermille Seribo

Michael Smithkey

April Warner

Would You Rather??

Fart Bud Wanted – 24

Bi dude looking for a masc. guy who has rank farts. If you can clear a room then hit me up. I wanna inhale every bit of your raunch man stink. I am open to more if we vibe but I really wanna taste your eggs.
Clean, normal, D/D free, you be too. Send stats and a little be about yourself. Would be cool if this could be a regular thing.


OR



OR

Touch My Warp Whistle – m4w – 28

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, “MORE”, “HARDER”, “YES”, “FUCK ME”, but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like “OH GOD”, “YES”, OR “IT HURTS” no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like “Thanks”, “It was great”, “I loved it”, “Don’t stop”

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together. Will consider SMB 3 and if you are really nasty we can try SMB2.

Week 4 Picks Recap & Announcements

Holy shit... the Miller Lite Fog is strong today.  MacDintons really needs to clean out their taps and lines.  I feel like death.

Anyway, with three games tying last night, there were a bunch of winners.  In fact, 10 people missed zero games and earned one drink from Angie and one from Caruso (-3).  It is the winner's responsibility to collect their drinks:

Rollo, Frank, Rob, Florian, YellowBird, Refill Kevin, Kyle, Bull, Chandler and Nate Dawg.

In other news:

• Our season party is officially booked on October 16th (as Maria ranted about below).  I have no idea where, what time or the contract details.  I also do not know if there is a party-planning committee.  Hopefully whoever is putting it together uses our previous contracts (listed on this blog) as a reference for what deals and number of kegs we require.  Personally, I think it's good we no longer have the joke positions of "president" and "vice-president"... but there does need to be some sort of group who organizes our party.
• The Bitch-Slap last night was a theatrical mess.  I'll try to compile the video this weekend... and although I haven't watched it yet I'm still laughing about the whole thing.  Smithkey and Tony were great sports and provided another memorable moment in Bayshore history.
• Gorecki is the front runner for Captain of the Year... as he filled in for Duc/E-Flo/Unit/Ding Dong to lead the 'Ballics in a 7-0 ass pounding.  Granted, they were on the receiving end of the sodomy. But hey... they're still going to Vegas.  Props to Kyle for being the only 'Ballic to have the balls to pick against his team.
• DPT has learned that it is very possible MLoop will be here next week for a surprise visit.  While we love surprises, it's much more ridiculous to dedicate next week as: "MLoop Appreciation Week."  Since this will be the inaugural M.A.W., we'll want to be on our bestest behavior.  So unlike last night, please make sure you wear your WAKA shirts and you hide your coolers, hide your beers, hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband cause they rapin' everybody out here.

I'll see most of you on Saturday... in the meantime, how about some game recaps?

Season Party Changed? (Allegedly) / Friday Rant

So in case you haven't yet checked your reliable Kickball schedule apparently the Mid or End of season party, whatever you want to call it is now changed to October 16th. Apparently it was posted in the shout box yesterday so if you are on the blog at all times you definitely caught that update. Since I know we have all planned for it to be October 2nd and it is now changed I'm sure some people are happy about it and others not so much. Speaking for myself who has to plan many weeks in advance because I work on weekends, really appreciates the notice. Who is planning this party anyways since we no longer have officers? Who makes this decision? Just wanted to see what was behind this change so I can now go to work and try to change my schedule once again hoping to be able to come to the new date. Thanks.

Week 4 Picks

***CLOSED***

Now that the Vegas odds are out... here are the picks. Get yours in before 4pm on Thursday.

And the Academy Award Goes to....

http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=146170&provider=top

CHEATER CHEATER DEREK JETER!

WAKA Kickball Just Announced: The complete list of 60 Founders Cup Tournament Teams is now available! http://www.kickball.com/tournament/founderscup2010tournamentteams

Vegas Week Games

A suggestion was made for the Alcoballics vs Toe Jammers Thursday Night 7 OCT Game to be played on Tuesday 5 OCT at 8pm during the Breaker Division Games. They will have the fields set up and Ref's Provided. Your Opinions???

No way. Get Real...

...like those things.



**Update**
A $1,000,000,000 ... No way.

Motherfuckers are making a tad more than I do on unemployment.

Howl-O-Scream Oct. 1

If you haven't gotten the invite or seen it on facebook there is a group of us going to Howl-O-Scream on Friday Oct 1. The lines should be shorter and there will be less of a crowd if we go early in the month. Tickets for groups(15+) receive a discount so if you get me the cash money I have no problem getting a ticket for ya.

I've set up a paypal link that you can pay though or feel free to bring me cash or a check on Thursday. Tickets are $32.05, but if you pay on paypal I've requested $33 because they take about .80 for the transaction.

Tickets MUST BE PURCHASED 5 days before we attend so I can pick them up to avoid more bogus service charges. I'll be getting the tickets Sept 24th, and no later!

Also I live out in Temple Terrace just a few miles from Busch Gardens so if anyone wants to meet there or pregame beforehand you're more then welcome to.

any questions just ask. litman.brian@gmail.com

Vegas Odds- Week 4

Season stats so far for the Vegas odds. 15wins, 5 losses, 4 ties (Ties should probably count as a loss but I did not want to hurt my percentage).




Edit: Just for you Nate.
Odds of.....
-Tony Crying: 10-1
-Smithkey taking it easy on Tony: 3-1
-Either party not showing up: 20-1
-Tony slapping Smithkey back: 4-1

Bitch Slap Thursday!

Since UF beat USF by more than 15.5 points... according to reports on DPT, Smithkey gets to bitch slap Tony.  Be sure to come watch this latest debacle before the 8pm games.  Do not start your games on time.  The state of Iowa called and confirmed the lights will not shut off at 9:15pm.

*Official* Tom Brady 911 Call

Week 4 Power Rankings

Dollar Wells vs. Team Fabulous is officially a 1-1 tie.   This causes David C. to owe Angie a drink at the bar... and wipes out my beerline bet with Smithkey.

Where's Schwack been??? Oh....

Wow....

Full Story

This Is Why You're Fat

Just in case you're wondering why you (or your significant other) are going to die of heart disease at the age of 41...


Feast your eyes on this  (pun intended).

Week 3 Picks Results

 **Update**  HI-MAY is telling me that Dollar Wells and Team Fab tied.  However, I had people from both teams say at the fields that DW only had 2 girls show up and had to forfeit the game.  If someone was there who reffed, or watched, or knows anything about the game... post a comment.  If it was a tie, the payouts wouldn't change other than David C. also owing Angie a drink.


First, let's start with last week...  Todd owed 5 beers and he was walking around soliciting help finding those people.  I believe he's all paid up.

So last night, Angie won the picks with an impressive 5-2 record.  Five people lost with a 2-5 score and all owe her one drink:  Jack, Griff, Maria, Paige, Bull.   Angie should be hunting down anyone who didn't pay her last night.

What's interesting is... it all came down to the TBN vs BC!BC! game (tie game 8-8).  Had BC!BC! won that game, those five losers would have owed ten people drinks.  That would have set a record for 50 drinks changing hands last night.  Alas, it wasn't meant to be.  Congrats to Angie!
-------------------------------
Side Bets:

• Chandler won the beerline against Smithkey (Team Fab forfeit win over Dollar Wells).  Smithkey:  I already owed you one from a previous bet, so we'll gamble with the two drink balance you owe me next week.
• Rollo won two drinks off a beerline bet with Jack (Superbad beat TJ's 5-3).
• Todd on BnD won a free drink from Chandler for his stellar play in the infield.  He is also going to get one (1) free beer every kickball night for the rest of the season.

--------------------
Fun night last night.   I'd love to see some recaps.

Tailgate Update!

The RV (or "Alco-Bus" as it was called last night) will be parked in the lot on the corner of SW 13th St. and W. University Ave. We'll be parked there for both pre and post tailgating. Me, Mike, Ryan, Vermille, Kevin and April will all be there so I'm sure everyone's bound to have one of our numbers. Call or text if you can't find us but I'm predicting we'll be hard to miss!

On Sunday, we're planning to head out to Ginnie Springs for the afternoon and then head back down to Tampa later that day. Time is still TBD but should be before noon. If anyone else would like to join, feel free to meet us there or we can caravan over.

Here's to a great game and to no redneck pastors blowing shit up!

This bout is scheduled for 1 bitch slap!!

If there wasn't enough bragging rights and shit talking on the line already between UF and USF fans the stakes are about to get even higher...

Here's what happened in a nutshell... Wednesday night at my house Smithkey and Tony got into a little shit talking battle about the match up this weekend. Smithkey claims UF rolls the Bulls and Tony claims USF is going to shock the Gators. Tony manned up and said "let's bet pussy." Smithkey hesitated for a bit but nonetheless took the bet. Tony is getting 15 1/2 points and the wager is a BITCH SLAP. I could really give to shits who wins but I'm definitely watching the pay out, as a matter of fact you can too! Bitch slapping will take place between the 7pm and 8pm game next week in the middle of the fields or probably by the BCBC game. Ticket prices- $1

Watch Blacked Out NFL Games

If you are looking to watch the Bucs or some of your other favorite teams: http://atdhe.net/
Cheers!

Week 3 Picks

***Closed.  Good Luck Tonight***

No Wednesday Rant today. I have a lot to bitch about... but taking a break to catch up on other things. Also, people are having trouble accessing the site on their cell phones. We're working on that, but right now our domain hosting seems to be fucking up when it comes to forwarding. If your phone is telling you "www.donkeynoms.com" is not responding... you can still get to the site using the actual blogger address of: "donkeypunchtoboggan.blogspot.com". If your smart-phone is working perfectly... you get a gold star.

ESPN Waka Gameday

Fowler - Ready or not, 6 programs with a lot to prove collide tonight at the PAL Fields in one of kickball's Mecca here in Tampa, Fl. A perfect place to be, it's Waka Gameday coming up next.

Announcer - Welcome to Waka Gameday, pouring drinks by MacDinton's

Fowler - On this beautiful morning, alongside Desmond Howard, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso; I'm Chris Fowler. Who should be on upset alert tonight?

Desmond - The Yeagabombs should be on upset alert tonight. I think they slip up tonight and people start to recall what they said about this team. They have 2 ties and are facing an improved Ligers defense.

Corso - Here is a perfect example of a team rebuilding in I'd Kick That. The offense and defense lost something but they haven't lost faith. Off Constantly should look out as a win tonight and I'd Kick that could be off to 3-1 start.

Herbstreit - Brown Chicken Brown Cow needs to look out for Thee Beer Nuts. They have never started a year like this. Look for Thee Beer Nuts to pull the upset by establishing themselves early on in this contest and get their season back on track.

Fowler - Now for Thursday's Selections. A lot to prove in this game. Does WakaShame belong on top of this conference? Is I Need a Refill a reliable team?

Herbstreit - I think this game is going to be more of a challenge then people think. Both teams will be playing with a lot of emotion tonight, but in the end I like WakaShame to win. They are no longer an underrated team and can handle the pressure.

Corso - Having lost to Off Contantly already and a date with Balls N Dolls looming, I Need a Refill needs this one badly and they get it.

Desmond - No doubt about that Coach. I think I Need a Refill's defense will play lights out and prevail in this matchup.

Fowler - Alcoballics vs. Shockers. Can the Alcoballics prove they belong in Vegas? Can the Shockers prove history doesn't repeat itself? It last year they were in this same position at 2-0 and ranked #1 in the power ranking and slipped up in week 3.

Desmond - Physical is the Shockers trademark. It gives them a fighting chance week in and week out. You can't be physical without passion. The Shockers will put a lot of pressure on teams. They have a lot of weapons on offense and defense. The Shockers are too much for the Alcoballics tonight.

Herbstreit - The Shockers have one of the best defenses in the league having only allowed 1 run. Their offense is dynamic and is going to be a lot for the Alcoballics to slow down. I think their balanced attack is too much for the Alcoballics to slow down. Shockers win.

Corso - Good pick my friend. The Shockers are running this new pistol offense and it has a lot of bullets. They have excellent athletes all around and their defense is too good. Shockers bomb the Alcoballics by 3 runs. I'm telling you that.

Now for our Showdown game. Superbad vs. The ToeJammers. Can the ToeJammers prove they are still a top team? Can Superbad prove they deserve that #2 ranking?

Desmond - This will be a fantastic contest. You look at the ToeJammers. What are they going to do if they lose today? They'll have to win out and I think they are in dire straits right now. They have experience but they also have a lot of inexperience. I think they will struggle vs. a tough veteran Superbad team with a pesky defense. Superbad prevails tonight.

Herbstreit - The ToeJammers have issues on offense and defense. They don't have the skill and talent to compete at a high level anymore. It's going to be tough tonight for them. Superbad has too much athletic ability and outstanding speed. Superbad wins this game easily.

Corso - What have you done for me lately? Nothing for the ToeJammers except apply for AARP memberships. It's also nothing for Superbad except pay off the home plate ref last game. Both teams are fighting to stay alive in this tough conference, a loss tonight puts a dent into someone’s league title plans. I'm picking the team with excellent athletes, patience and offensive balance. Give me my headgear ... Practice makes perfect. Go Superbad!

Fowler - Enjoy your kickball Thursday

Watermelon Anyone???

USF vs. UF this Saturday!!

There's a bunch of us going already...some of us have tickets, some are just going to bask in the sheer awesomeness that these two teams are finally playing each other. We'll be pre and post tailgating on Saturday, followed by Sunday at Ginnie Springs. Anyone else in?? Bulls, Gators...the bigger the tailgate, the better!

Week 3 Vegas Odds

Made some slight changes to the odds sheet again this week and removed the payout numbers. Basically it was just too much thinking, too much time, and too many numbers. The spread, beerline, and totals are all still there for your betting pleasure though.

Week 3 Power Rankings

One Month Until Hockey Season

MJ is ready for the Red Wings!  Are you?

Flag Football Anyone...(REPOST)

We still need a few more players to sign up as a full team. Get your lazy asses in gear Bayshore and let's play some ball. It is football season god damn it!

Is anyone interested in playing flag football with Tampa Bay Club Sports on Tuesday nights? Unfortunately, we will not be playing with, getting to tackle, or have any other contact with Marisa Miller, but it could still be fun. The league plays at Skyway Park (Veterans & Independence). We would play in the men's league and possibly play rec unless everyone has the desire to get there ass kicked. It is 7v7, but you need at least 12 people to sign up as a team. Games are 6:30 - 9:30. Team cost is $600 + $10 per non member, so the more people the cheaper it is and the more subs we have for all of those people in non-football shape. Sign up deadline is 9/7 and the league starts on 9/14. If you know of anyone else who would want to play that does not check this blog then feel free to invite them. If you have questions check out the website.

http://www.tampabayclubsport.com/Football-tues-mens-rec.htm

If you want to play leave a comment or email Buchanan at Walker7926@aol.com

Ligers v. Superbad Recap

Short and sweet.

• BRBC, not so much with the reffing well.
• Superbad: base coaches like to physically drag girls back to the base.
• Ligers: miracle they made it through the kicking order, played great D though.
  
• Bull: pulled off the most feminine kick ever, thank God it was a foul ball.

Week 2 Picks Recap

Ohhhh boy.

Apparently when Todd from BnD said "not Shockers, not Superbad etc...," he really meant NOT those teams.  I thought he was just fucking around, but before the games last night he asked me to change his picks to match his original intentions.

So... that caused him to miss 5 games, and lose the picks.

BUT... the OC/PMU and YB/'Ballics ties caused 15 PEOPLE TO WIN (with perfect scores)!!!  A new record since the picks began.

Todd was a great sport last night and paid for most of the drinks.  Below is the list of winners:

Geoff (paid)
Maria (paid)
Kyle
Brie (paid)
Alison (paid)
Chandler (paid)
Steph
Rollo (paid)
Gorecki (paid)
Griff (paid)
Jack
Paige (paid)
Florian (paid)
Rob
Refill Kevin

If your name is on the list and you haven't been paid... find me or Todd next week.

I really Blew the Pooch on that one...

My screw-up during my Game aside, I owe IKT/POTG and WAKA Shame an apology.




Please to forgive me.

kthxbye.

Grifter.

Week 2 Picks

**PICKS ARE CLOSED**  Good luck tonight.

WAKA Gameday

**Posted on behalf of Rob, since his company hates freedom and blocks sections of the blog**

Fowler - Good Morning Kickball Fans. Waka Gameday returns to Tampa, FL.

Announcer - Welcome to Waka Gameday, pouring drinks by MacDinton's

Fowler - It is early out and the fans behind us are already wicked and loud. It should be a fun day for kickball. Chris Fowler with you today, alongside Desmond Howard, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso. Let's get right into some of the games. How do you see these shaking out?

Herbstreit - I'm anxious to see WakaShame today, coming off their best game last week vs. Balls N Dolls in that big win. Here's a team that has heard for a long time about are they're good enough to break through. I think WakaShame wins tonight.

Desmond - The Balls N Dolls defense looked like a piece of Swiss cheese last week with holes all over the field. I think they are able to bounce back this week and return to their dominant defensive form. They will be focused to not start the year 0-2. Balls N Dolls wins easily.

Corso - Brown Chicken Brown Cow has 2 chances to beat the Shockers today: Slim and None. The Shockers defense just makes play after play after play. Shockers win this game.

Fowler - How about some upset alerts tonight?

Herbstreit - I think Superbad should be on upset alert. They showed they are beatable last week. I think the key for the Ligers is to come out early and believe they can win tonight. This is one of those Liger Upsets we talked about in our preview show.

Corso - Good pick my friend. For me I'm putting the ToeJammers on upset alert. They hardly resemble a juggernaut this year but rather an AARP team. Thee Beer Nuts have an improved team and with some smart play, they will pull the upset.

Fowler - Now for Thursday's Selections. First up is the summer league champs, Off Constantly vs. Pick Me Up.

Desmond - So far Off Constantly has lived up to expectations after dominating the summer league. But they run into one of the top Bayshore teams this week. Pick Me Up has great balance and this is their toughest challenge so far. I think Pick Me Up survives this game and Off Constantly learns just how good Bayshore defenses are compared to Guava Defenses.

Herbstreit - This is a huge day for both teams and will have a big impact on the conference standings. Both teams better be ready to go tonight. Now I'm buying into this hype about a re-tooled team that just flat out dominated the summer league. I think the new tools on Off Constantly show they deserve to be a top ranked team. Off Constantly over Pick Me Up.

Corso - That's a good pick, a real good pick. It's going to be a tough game tonight. Both coaches think this could be a mini-shootout and it takes 3-4 runs to win it. You have to score runs to win. Looks for these 2 teams to go back and forth with Off Constantly prevailing.

Fowler - Onto our showdown game. The Vegas bound Alcoballics vs. Yeagabombs. How do you see this game?

Desmond - The Alcoballic's defense will spend a lot of time on the field today vs. this potent Yeagabomb attack. And the Alcoballic's offense is going to have a lot of 3 and outs. Yeagabombs wins easily.

Herbstreit - The high scoring Yeagabomb offense started to get back on track last week. It's exciting to watch because they are very balanced and effective. Their defense is questionable after week 1 but I think they will get some timely plays tonight. At the end of the day the Yeagabombs get it done and KO's the Alcoballics.

Corso - Kirk, I give you a big NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! I think it's a low scoring game and the defense leads the way. It's a classic match up. You got the high powered Yeagabombs Offense vs. the shutdown Alcoballics Defense. Something’s got to give. And that something is right here; give me that Yeager-machine, shot glasses and Flag. You kids shouldn't be drinking that, it’s bad for you. Ahhhh Get that stuff outta here (*** Yeager-machine goes flying to ground***). Give me that Ding Dong. Alcoballics win with defense in a game that's close, real close.

Heavy Drinkers Live Longer Than Non-Drinkers

dear waka,

let my bayshore peeps have their coolers on the field so they can imbibe, have GTS thus live longer and pay you more registration. you are money motivated, you have been motivated.

that is all for now.

-RPK

Those who abstain from alcohol have a lower life expectancy than both moderate and heavy drinkers.

A new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, which is based on 20-year study of 1,824 adults, has once again confirmed this counterintuitive conclusion. It isn't entirely surprising that moderate drinkers outlive teetotalers, as some alcohol -- in particular, red wine -- is good for the heart. However, researchers are still searching for the reason heavy drinkers live longer than those who abstain altogether.

One theory is that alcohol, the ultimate social lubricant, makes it easier for a person to maintain relationships. And stronger personal relationships have been linked to better mental and physical health, which results in a longer life expectancy.

Or it could be that serious drunks are just too belligerent to die.

http://www.asylum.com/2010/08/31/heavy-alcohol-drinkers-live-longer-than-non-drinkers/

Wednesday Rant

I went back and forth on the topic of today's rabble-rouser... and decided to choose one that currently impacts our games (instead of our community).  So today, I'm going to complain about the length of our kickball contests.

For 12 seasons, we've played 5-inning games in 50 minute time-slots.  This allowed a little buffer for games to run over, and in rare situations (ie: Beer Olympics) only 4 innings or so were played due to drinking events between innings.

This year, we were told to play 6-innings or one hour, whichever comes first. It's sold to us as an excellent deal, since more innings equates to more at-bats.  It also seems to be used as a smoke-screen, in the sense of: "Hey... you only get 8 games when you used to have 10... but check out that 6th inning! Woot! Oh shit... is that lightning?"

Jaime clarified WAKA's one hour policy in this weeks captains email: If your team finishes the 5th inning before the required 1 Hour stop time, you can continue on the the 6th inning. HOWEVER, if you do not finish the 6th inning in the allotted 1 hour time frame, the game concludes and you go back to the 5th inning score.

(Disclaimer for MLoop:  I'm not shooting the messenger and blaming Jaime for this rule.)

The problem with this ruling is lack of buffer (and common sense). Let's paint two possible scenarios that don't include the obvious concern of "slow play":

1. Visitor Team leads Home Team 2-1 after 5 innings. There's 7 minutes on the clock so both teams hustle to play the sixth. Home Team gives up a few hits, but a two-out diving catch ends the inning without giving up a run. The right fielder who caught the ball also sprains his ankle making the web-gem.  Home Team now gets up to the plate for their final chance to tie/win. They load the bases with two outs... but time runs out.  Game over, Visitor Team wins 2-1.
2. Home Team leads Visitor Team 2-1 after 5 innings. Again... 7 minutes left and both teams feel they can get in one more inning.  Visitor Team turns on "Tournament Mode" and scores 8 runs in the top of the sixth inning. Finally, Home Team gets to bat... but all the run scoring causes time to expire before they record three outs.  Game over, Home Team wins 2-1 (even though they were just losing 9-2).

There are probably a million examples of issues when you govern the games to the exact letter of the rule.  But even if the home plate ref allows the game to continue a few minutes beyond an hour, half the teams in Conference Boring (and the Shockers) would start shitting bricks if the rule would have helped their team win.

For fun... let's point out the issues with these scenarios:

1. Home Team plays their ass off for a chance to win or tie the game.  A player actually risks life and limb for the glory of victory... and then they're told that all their efforts really didn't actually count.  What if Home Team ties before the time expires? Is the game called a tie, or does it still revert back to the 5th since it isn't officially over? This happened LAST WEEK in the Superbad game.  Thinking time was almost up, Yeagabombs (home team) had some reckless base running that helped them tie the game.  Souder rightfully let the game extend beyond an hour for a non-bullshit outcome, but Superbad has an argument that it should revert to the 5th.
2. Knowing that if time expires Home Team gets the victory... couldn't they just allow a million runs, and make it look like errors? They'll say after the game: "Hey! We didn't get a chance to kick. Revert the game back to the 5th and we win!"  Tying shoes is an obvious form of slow-play... but a ref can't possibly say that they're tanking the inning to waste time.  Errors happen in kickball regularly.  Hell, THEE Beer Nuts look like they fuck up on purpose all the time (but we all know they're trying). This scenario is ridiculously unfair to the Visitor Team.

Basically, the current rule is the WORST possible way to govern the game.  PAL has already told us that they'll leave the lights on longer for no charge if we want. But I don't even think we need them to do that.  Just change the rule... when the hour expires, finish the current inning.

Simple... no arguments... and you're never going to have a game go past "stop time" by more than 7 minutes or so.