ME!!!!!

My name is Atomikkitten, but you can just call me Jaime. I am an alcoholic. I left my family 7 years ago after a legal dispute. My hobbies include drinking and ballroom dancing. OMG hamsters are sooo cute ♥ i have 3.. okay I have 12. My main goal in life is to have 22 children and get my own reality show….
Just kidding…or am I????

So, as the new Customer Service Rep for Bayshore Division, I have been asked to properly introduce myself to this illustrious kickball/bloging community...
Here goes… My Name is Jaime. No, not Jaime. Jaime. Like Jamie. But not. Are we good? Okay.

Before my current occupation, I used to be a girlie girl – Sorority…USF Sun Doll…Tampa Bay Storm Cheerleader. I now spend my non-WAKA time as a Captain in the Florida Army National Guard (AGR). I have been stationed in Honduras, Iraq, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and some more places that you’d never read about in Budget Travel. I excelled in covert training in these war zones, partially due to my depth of knowledge regarding insurgencies. After all, I have led members of my old kickball teams to defect this season and start anew with my team! I have no regrets, as I maintained custody of the best flip-cuppers and karaoke singers.

I refuse to take kickball too seriously – I’ve seen far worse than a lopsided Seminoles/Toe Jammers win. One example…While stationed in Afghanistan (in an area known as “Mortaritaville”) my bunkmates and I were sound asleep when a round hit outside our tent and the airwave blew us all out of our cots. And you thought you had stress at work?

Now a days I am the rear-detachment (love that word) commander while my current unit is in Kuwait. I guess they figure I have been deployed enough for this one and let me stay back. So, no matter how bitchy you all may think you are being on these e-mails and blogs.. It is nothing to my day to day interactions with my Soldiers.. Believe it or not your interesting comments and issues are simple and welcome compared to my little workerbees and the headache they cause me on a day to day basis…….

OK… Enough about me.. Let’s talk about WAKA stuff… Just to be clear… I HAVE ABSOLUTLY NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THESE NEW CHANGES!!! Do you really think I want to pay more and not have my beer on the field?? Please!!! Do you really think I have that much power????

I will let you all know, that I will not be cooler checking, but just don’t be obvious!!!! If I do see it, cooler goes back in the parking lot…
Also… The parking money that we are no longer paying went directly to PAL. We cut them a check, so they do in fact still get their share. We took it out of our party budget, but I am positive we will not be hurting come party time. They also may start up their concession stand again if there is any interest. I for one really enjoy their chicken sandwiches.
I ordered the shirts for this season; however, if any of you ordered more than one shirt, you will only be getting one. Apparently WAKA has a glitch in their system. I believe you can now go online and order more, but not sure. I just wash mine every week?!?
For the Pre-season party, MLoop and another representative will be there to explain the changes etc.. Please feel free to bitch at them all you want, as I am sure they have all the right answers. The Army is keeping me from the pre-season party to go to St. Augustine for training... Fun fun…. But more e-mails on that stuff later…

Well.. That it is for now… looking forward the season actually starting!
Happy Kicking!
~Jaime

Hey.. This technically IS a Cooler.. And there are NO actual labels on it... Baseball cap can conceal the tap.. Just a thought....

Attn: DPT basketball players

Indoor basketball.
Land O Lakes Rec Center
11:00 AM
Tomorrow morning (Saturday)
I'm meeting up with a couple people to check it out..all are invited (unless Rollo outlaws women).


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Top 100 Bars In Tampa Bay

The TBT did an article of what they thought were the top 100 bars in our area.
Everything from the Ultimate Drinking Destination to Ultimate Irish Pubs to Ultimate Dirty Little Secret.
Everyone’s favorite MacDs is #6.
Here’s the link if you want to check it out: Top Tampa Bars

Bucs Game August 21st??

So, since my big 3-0 birthday is coming up on August 21 and there is a pre-season Bucs game that night, I wanted to see if there is any interest in going to the game that Saturday night at 7:30?? I was thinking about putting together a little tailgate party before the game as well if that interests anyone. I guess group rates are $32-$99 a seat with a minimum of 10 people. So speak up people and let me know and spread the word. I know a bunch of people are out of town that weekend unfortunately but let me know!! Thanks!

Stadium Vendor Inspections

Not sure if I should have had those chicken fingers and fries at the Rays game Monday....

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=5401646

Detroit Tigers vs Tampa Bay Rays; Or, Rays no-no

Hey guys, I created a facebook event but in case I missed anyone I am trying to put a group together to go to the Tigers vs Rays game on July 26. I know many of you have expressed interest but I want to try to get tickets this week so I'm asking for some commitment! Not sure it includes anything but if 20 people commit I would be willing to put down the 50% deposit. It is non-refundable though so if you want to go let me know! Otherwise we are looking at tickets in the Party Deck that would be $11 a ticket. Post if your interested and haven't replied on the Facebook event. Can't wait, it'd be super fun of course and a great way to recover from Savannah! Hope to see you all soon! And it's Bull's birthday!

Best Spam of the Week

Got this spam in my inbox from Bonefish advertising a new special. Almost trashed it, but it's a pretty brilliant ad campaign. Let's all make our hump days a little better...

Farting Preacher

Yella showed me this. It's a good laugh.

Who are the newcomers?

Brown Chicken! Brown Cow!? I Need a Refill? Who are these teams? Are the just new reincarnations of Mooseknuckle and PGB's? What's up with the exclamation points? Do they think they're special?

Jack wants to know.

Is the grass really greener?

WAKA Fall 2010 Schedule

The WAKA Fall 2010 Schedule is up... located on the right of this blog (or on the shitty WAKA site).  Yep.  Just like that.  Seven of the eight games are scheduled so I'm not sure if week eight will be grouped by record like last year.

Anyway... no Beer Olympics this season.  Good thing, since we can't take coolers to the field anyway.

Strut That Ass

In an effort to get Biff's damn hands off of my mother, thus preserving my very Donkeypunch existence, I give to you this:



May you all have a great weekend, and please make sure to Strut That Ass like the chauvinistic pigs that you are!

Soccer/football/futbol THIS WEEKEND!!

The Bayshore (blue) Ballers, DPT's very own soccer/football/futbol club, begins tournament play this Sunday at Shimberg Soccer Complex (7022 Soccer Ave, 33834).

Kickoff is at 4pm against our archnemesis, SUPER BLUES. This is YOUR team's opporunity to save their season from mediocrity by advancing to the semifinals next weekend. Come out and support the team!!


Also, don't forget we have pickup soccer/football/futbol TOMORROW as well. So far the head-count looks to be between 12 - 18 people...a couple more and we can run full field world cup style and take rediculous flops and dives:

When: July 17th

Where: Monroe Middle School
4716 West Montgomery Avenue
Tampa, FL 33616-1042

When: 1pm


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Soccer vs. Football

Teneille... please take a look at this map.  Notice how only terrorist countries are colored (coloured) blue.  Therefore, if you call it "football" then you are a terrorist.  Glad we ended this debate.

DPTs best friends present....

The latest from the people who brought you "Paige on the Ground" and this crazy twizat...


Tru TV's - Girl Wrecks on Bike Ramp - Watch more Funny Videos

Comes the dance that is sweeping the nation. And will definitely be reenacted by Gomez and Alicia circa next weekend in Savannah.

Savannah Room Roster

Ok... I'm tired of everyone asking me who's in what room... and who has extra room... etc etc.  So we're going to revert back to what we did in 2008 and 2009.

Here's the roster that I know of.  Let me know the changes as things get settled.  I can take ONE more person in my room if someone is desperate.

Soccer THIS Saturday

Hey guys I'm putting together a pick-up soccer game and all DPT viewers/contributors/fans/lurkers are welcome to join. Lets get another 11 v 11 game going like we did last time:

When: July 17th

Where: Monroe Middle School
4716 West Montgomery Avenue
Tampa, FL 33616-1042

When: 1pm


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Can this please be added to the DPT calendar? Thanks guys!

TPD Charity Dodgeball Tournament

This is the same day as the Half Way to Gasparilla Pub Crawl, but I thought it sounded fun for a good cause and some of you might be interested.

July 31, 2010
Saturday 11:00am - 2:00pm

Clear Channel Radio of Tampa is teaming up with the Tampa Bay Storm and the St. Pete Times Forum to present a charity dodgeball tournament to benefit the families of slain Tampa Police Officers, David Curtis and Jeffrey Kocab.The event will take place inside the St. Pete Times Forum on the Storm field on Saturday, July 31st, 2010 from 11:00am-2:00pm.

Tournament registration is open to the public with thirty-two available team slots. Each team will consist of six members with an entry fee of $120. All proceeds will benefit the Curtis/Kocab Memorial Fund.The event will be open to the public to watch and donation opportunities will be available on the concourse at the Forum.

You can find more info here: TPD Charity Dodgeball

Hunting Beer Nuts

**This is a 10 minute "documentary" about our 4th of July attack on THEE Beer Nuts.  Due to some salty sailor language, it's not recommended to watch at work without headphones.  Enjoy the stupidity.**

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of THEE BEER NUTS
They started up near Tarpon Springs
And we were on their butts. 

Our captain had a mighty beard of pubes,
The first mate loved the conch.
Five other pirates went that day
In hopes to break 'em up, in hopes to break 'em up. 

The weather sucked big donkey balls,
Storm clouds were all around,
We followed S.S. BEER NUT 3
Until that bitch broke down, until that bitch broke down. 

The NUTS set up in the shallow sea,
Right off Three Hooker Isle.
We raised our flag...
Full steam ahead...
Bull's "pirate roar", was kinda gay...
Knowlty giggled...
Balloons were thrown...
And we crashed Crystal's birthday!

Anyone want to play some basketball sometime or something? ...

Just asking...

...and trying not to fade away into oblivion

Big Guava Update

While the majority of DPT is eagerly anticipating the Fall 2010 season of our beloved Bayshore division, Jack from Off Constantly is currently focused on bringing home the championship in the inaugural season of Big Guava division.

I know what you're asking yourself right now: what is a guava? According to Wikipedia, which along with Google images forms my entire arsenal of research abilities, a guava is a "superfruit" native to Mexico, Central America, and South America which is cultivated throughout the tropics and is popular in juice form in Cuba, Puerto Rico, Colombia, Egypt, Mexico, and South Africa.

Also of note to loyal DPT readers:

In Trinidad, a tea made from young leaves is used for diarrhea, dysentery and fever.

Now we know the key to Trini's regularity and cool-headedness.

Big Guava on the other hand is merely a division of WAKA upon which Off Constantly is unleashing the fury of their new and improved roster, and is primarily comprised of newcomers and Tuesday night teams.

Although I was forced to miss the first two games of the season due to traveling duties at work, I am told that we completely dominated both I Need A Refill and Debauchery, which boasts at least one Bayshore division alum. The final scores of 6-2 and 11-2 can attest to the validity of these reports.

For my return, my teammates sandbagged it so I would have an opportunity to kick a game-winning triple in the top of the 6th inning. The next week they would return to their dominant offensive ways in an 11-0 shutout against the only other undefeated team in the league. We refused to score 12 so as not to enact the mercy rule and enjoy a 4-inning defensive workshop to better prepare for the Bayshore Fall 2010 season. It looks as if OC will roll to the championship in this inaugural Big Guava season.

All of this is happening without the assistance of verbal abuses and defensive proficiency from one BEARDFACE.

Different rules such as mandatory balls and strikes, optional munting (I've yet to see a game in which this was allowed), and overhand pitching haven't hampered the quality of kickball. If anything has hampered the quality of kickball it has been the general antipathy shown by other teams in terms of game attendance. There was nearly a forfeit last week, and this week we were the beneficiaries of a team having only 5 guys show up for the game. Sidelines have been sparse with a few exceptions, and the lack of coolers has clearly led to a less jovial kickball experience.

Yes, the coolers, the part about which you were all waiting to read. Still no coolers allowed on the sidelines, but fortunately the fields are adjacent to the parking lot and coolers are apparently allowed just on the other side of the bleachers next to the field. I brought a personal cooler to test that rule, but it was also rejected.

Attendance at MacDinton's has also been lacking, but that can in part be attributed to only having half the number of teams.

It's been a good season thus far in general. Kickball is still fun, and you can still drink if you are willing to exert a little extra effort. Still, I'm looking forward to the real season in the fall and testing out the new roster against a group of better and more experienced teams.

See ya'll on the 26th or sooner.

Oh Friday Pt II

Oh Friday...

Just sayin'.

Kickball - Fall 2010

Looks like the registration is closed. That didn't take long!
Here are the teams:

Alcoballics
Balls N Dolls
Dollar Wells
I Need a Refill
I'd Kick That
Ligers
Off Constantly
Pick Me Up
Shockers
SuperBad
Team Fabulous
THEE Beer Nuts
ToeJammers aka Soul Glo
WAKAshame
Yeagabombs
Your Mom's new team

If you want to see who's on your team, log into your WAKA profile.
Countdown is on to the first game! 49 days to go...

I post this for 2 reasons...

1. Because ChanChan already emailed me asking about it.
2. (Most Importantly) Because I don't want my contributor pict to start to fade.

Yep, I left TBN and joined a new kickball team. WILD, I know!!


DPT says:

Golf Tournaments

Two things:

1) The 3rd Annual Leif Nissen Memorial Tournament is tentatively scheduled for August 29th. Keep that date open. Details to come.

2) A memorial golf tournament for a friend of Duc & E-Flo will be held on August 7th. Facebook group is located here. Official tournament website is located here. Let us know if you want to play and we'll form a couple of teams. Or go form your own team. Whatever.

bumped by bull

4th of July - 2010

Here's the video from Chuckers' 4th of July party last night.  I'd stress not to try this at home, but most of the people visiting this blog were either at the party or dumb enough to repeat the events.  Basically, you all are a lost cause.  Thanks again to Chuckers for allowing us to get shit-faced and blow up his dock.  Enjoy.

Pirates....

Someday soon, we will show you the story... Happy 4th weekend!

Funny Ass Craigslist Add

FREE Loving Male Hamster- Golden, Big Balls (Holiday)

I bought this hamster for my young daughter , but she just refuses to hold him now that his balls are overwhelmingly large... He is a very sweet pet, he loves to run in his wheel.. he has an awesome cage (included, of course)... she named him chewy when we bought him, but now we call him "nuts mcnoltry"...


seriously.. they are like.. really, really, really big.

• Location: Holiday
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests