Thursday, April 29, 2010

Eh...

Slow week in the creative world of DPT. So while we eagerly await the latest Red Rocket Report detailing how RRR gave up 9 runs in the final inning to lose the game... I'll go ahead and re-post something from Knowlty's old blog.

The story of Sodom and Gomorroah. Which gave rise to the word "sodomy." Which was then performed on RRR.

Enjoy getting your learn on.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Red Rockets Repeat!! Starts tonight!

Champion vs. Champion!

Come see the best of Kickball Society take on the best of Tampa Bay CLub Sport!!


When: Tuesday, April 27th
Time: 8pm
Location: 4719 Regnas Ave., Temple Terrace


Defending Kickball Society Grand Champion:



VS.

Four-time Tampa Bay Club Sport League Champion (yes, with Grifter as mascot):

Monday, April 26, 2010

Awesome Celebration Vid

Red Rockets Announce New Team Sponsor



The Red Rockets have announced that Svedka Vodka will team up with Anal Eaze to be the team sponsors this year. The deal was quickly done after the Swedish company heard that several Rockets wrote commercials for the company in a drunken stupor while vacationing in Cayo Costa over the weekend. Apparently they like what they heard. Must have been something lost in translation. Oh well, Svedka..... Fuck It!

Kickball Society Presents:

Champion vs. Champion!

Come see the best of Kickball Society take on the best of Tampa Bay CLub Sport!!


When: Tuesday, April 27th
Time: 8pm
Location: 4719 Regnas Ave., Temple Terrace


Defending Kickball Society Grand Champion:



VS.

Four-time Tampa Bay Club Sport League Champion:

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Official Movie of WAKA Bayshore Division


This was suggested to me in my Netflix queue tonight? How do they know?




















After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven young adults decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak accident, the others argue about what to do, which leads to a ruthless fight for survival

 

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Can we play too??



Well it looks like only a couple of us Jammers will be out there tonight (4-5 girls, and maybe a few guys) but we'd like to jump in and play if anyone needs players....my lead foot and I plan on showing up at 7:00.....HOLLA!

--ALSO, anyone up for a little Home Run Derby at 8:00, Field A?? We can just move the pitchers mount closer to 1st base so the right-footers have equal advantage to clear the fence in right field.

--Maybe some other skills challenges? Pretty awesome watching Nate vs. Mikey around the bases 2 weeks ago...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Things we can learn from other leagues

For my second post in as many days, and also ever, I'll direct your attention to some overtly inappropriate team names and, apparently, accompanying lewd behavior that got a kickball league in St. Louis banned from all public places and possibly all deported to GTMO if Barry hasn't closed it yet. I'm really not tuned into current events, and I don't really care anyway.

Here's the link.

How can we use this news to make our league better? Well, first of all we shouldn't allow park rangers to officiate our games. You can't trust those bastards, particularly those from San Francisco that play with puppets for children. I'm looking at you "Ranger Joe."

(Did I just make the first "Full House" reference on DPT? And it wasn't about violating the Olsen twins, or at least Uncle Jesse's wife? First sign that you should stop reading this rambling post.)

Secondly, 2,500 people? Are you kidding me? I'm not even going to start believing that, but Ty is and he's aching to get that many people in the league and have us all kick once a season or less in our three inning games that end by sunset every night.

Lighting is expensive and we're going green anyway.

And most importantly, the inappropriate team names are one thing, and I can understand we're a more conservative crowd than St. Louis... wait, did I just say that? Are we really prudes compared to boring, midwestern gateways to the west? I understand they're in the "show me state" (perhaps streakers would be more accepted?), but we're Tampa: home of more strip clubs than you can shake your stick at. Seriously, have you ever tried shaking your stick at all the strip clubs in Tampa? You'll get tired eventually, trust me. (More aimless rambling. Why haven't you stopped reading yet?)

Back to the most important part (and the only reason to have continued): the team logos. Here they are, lifted from whoever published this groundbreaking news:


So here is the modest task which is your charge, contributors of DPT: create some damn team logos. They're awesome and severely lacking from Bayshore Division. If I had any skills with any graphics program I'd step up and give it a shot, but MSPaint just isn't going to cut it.

I'll hang up and await your response.

I apologize for showing my ass. Literally.

For those of you who are offended or disgusted by my streaking, or probably more so my wasted actions at The Ragin Cajun I apologize. I know we're all there for a good time but I should have probably drew a line somewhere. There's not much more I can do but to say sorry. What's done is done. So hopefully it's not held against me for to long and if so then I should have thought about the repercussions of getting sweet out of control drunk. Go ahead...let the jokes begin.

B

How To Fail A Breathalyzer

video

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Kickball Haikus

I'm in Alpharetta for work, this city is extraordinarily boring, a taxi to get to the train to get into a fun city like Atlanta is $45, and I'm stuck here without a rental car.

Welcome to kickball haiku!

Where is my kitten?
Why does it smell like ass holes?
Balls N Dolls was here.

Flo says I'd Kick That.
Chandler says Pants on the Ground.
I say that team blows.

Jammers win it all.
Congrats on a great season.
BEARDFACE still hates you.

Who is Mooseknuckle?
Nobody knows for certain,
but they lost a lot.

Where is your lineup?
Rules say you must provide one.
Here is our excuse.

That is not the rule.
This is the rule, change the call.
OC still loses.

Chouder is in love.
What we really want to know:
did Paige bed the cop?

Ballics almost win.
What happened to their chances?
Gorecki dropped them.

Team's named Pick Me Up,
and the team won't make a chant.
Does that team matter?

THEE Beer Nuts drink beer.
They win at beer olympics.
Can't win at kickball.

Oh my, what bumpits.
There are daywalkers, as well?
Guidos still love you.

Randomize offense.
Randomize defense, I swear.
Oh wow, Frank's pitching!

Thank you Dolla Wells.
Grifter likes your slumpbusting.
You unleashed the fury.

Team Fab bedazzles.
Would you like your shirt glittered?
Maybe a handie?

Jager tastes shitty,
but when it's mixed with red bull,
kickball regression.

PGB starts hot,
lose to Dolla Wells and Yeags?
Now playground bitches.

So I think that's one per team. Hope you enjoyed kickball haiku, and I hope I got all of them right. Feel free to add your own. I recycled almost all of the material of the year, but I'm sure there are scraps left somewhere.

Flip-Cup Tournament!



Our friends at flipcups.com wanted me to let everyone know that there is a rather large flip-cup tournament THIS Saturday at MacDintons at 1pm.  Be there BEFORE 12pm to sign up.  Details are:

  • Prizes for 1st and 2nd place
  • Five member Co-ed teams
  • Drink specials all day
  • Free beer during the games
  • Best team uniform wins a prize
So there you have it.  If you're in town... go check it out.

NSFW - Ashley Dupre 2K an hour

agree or disagree




TBCS Bowling



Some of us are putting together a bowling team & I wanted to extend the information to everyone else. You have to sign up by next Thursday... more info can be found here: http://www.tampabayclubsport.com/Info/bowling.htm

I think it would be fun to have a few teams of people we all know.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Whooooo's in da house?!?

Am I a terrible person for thinking this is hilar??!

Watch till at least the 1 min mark...

Shake Weight DVD

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Bracket Results

We had our best participation in the bracket pool ever yesterday.  It came down to the final game between myself, Smithkey and Frank.  Thanks to a controversial call that sent the game into extra innings, I was able to win $57 in a tie-breaker.  The official results are below.  Great season everyone.



Name Rank Points Tiebreaker


Chandler 1


1


28


7 runs


Smithkey


2


28


5 runs


Kristen 1


3


22





Souder


4


21



Frank


5


18



6 runs


Geoff


6


18


5 runs


Alison


7


18


4 runs


David C.


8


17


7 runs


Gorecki


9


17


5 runs


Nate Dawg


T10


16


5 runs


Rollo


T10


16


5 runs


Kyle 1


12


15





Kristen 2


13


14


9 runs


Buchanan


14


14


8 runs


Bull


15


14


6 runs


Chandler 2


16


13





Kyle 2


17


12





Maria


18


11





Jim 2


19


7



Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hey MJ...

I told your wife last night her purse was too large.  You can easily fit yourself, Nate and that baby of yours in it.  She mentioned she wanted a new one anyway, so how about you get on that. Just a little... "I love you" present. Thanks in advance.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Bald is beautiful!

For those of you unaware, there was a bet that was laid down last night at MacDintons. If there is a rematch of the Fall 09 tournament finals between the Alcoballics and ToeJammers during the tournament tomorrow Buchanan and Ruben will be putting their hair on the line. The loser of that game will have his head shaved by the opposing team. If this story plays out it should make for a very interesting twist to the finals!

OR

Raising Money for a good cause!

Hey DPT, as some of you know Anita Longton and I are trying to raise money for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk in October so, in the spirit of the kickball tourney tomorrow we will be selling jello and pudding shots to raise money for our walk! We are thinking 2 for $1 so please bring an extra dollar besides the one you are giving to the parking guy and come see us at the Ligers or Superbad camp!! Thanks for your support ahead of time!

Any one who doesn't want to get drunk tomorrow feel free to see our facebook pages to donate on your own time! :D

Picks and Brackets!

Marla won the picks last night (-0), and gets a drink from Nate and Maria (-5).

But more importantly... it's bracket time!

On the side of the blog you'll see the PLAYOFF schedule.  Print it, then fill that shit out.  Put the TOTAL number of runs scored in the championship game for a tie-breaker (closest wins, under trumps over).

Brackets work just like March Madness.  Rounds will be scored 1-2-4-6.  You can submit up to 2 brackets, but each cost THREE DOLLARS ($3.00)

Winner takes all.  Gorecki won $51 last season.

If you have any questions, ask a friend.  If they don't know, your friend is stupid.  See you Saturday.

Win Championships, Pop Bottles!

Happy Tournament-Eve Everyone,

I've discussed this with a few people but wanted to put it out there for everyone. I'm hoping that we can start a tradition in our league whereas every team brings one bottle of champagne to the tournament. Then, as the tournament progresses, the losing team from each game will provide their bottle(s) to the winning team. This way, the team that wins the tournament will have 16 bottles to go nuts with. Each team can sign / decorate their bottle if they so choose, but the point is the sportsmanship / social aspect behind it. We all get competitive out there, but in the end we all want to have fun...and spray some champagne on each other.

I realize this is a little late as the tourney is tomorrow, but go out there and get a bottle of Andre!

Hello Kitty Champagne need not apply.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Reminder: Poker This Friday




Email me or post here to confirm you're in...
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm overdue to have another poker night at my place so lets schedule it for this Friday. (The eve of our kickball tournament). Theres plenty of beer still left in the keg from Tenielles Party (you lightweights) so I'll keep her iced down (the beer not Tenielle) this week.


Start showing up around 7 pm with cards getting dealt at 7:30. $10 buy in as always. Lets get enough ppl to show up to do 2 tables again. See ya there... (3306 W Paul Ave Tampa Fl 33611)


Picks - Week 9

Picks closed.  If Dollar Wells forfeits tonight... that's a loss. Use common sense.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Longoria/New Era Commercial...

This was filmed ALL in Tampa.. Channelside/Ybor/Davis Islands... I'm wondering if the blonde is from here.. Sign her up in WAKA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTLQBOlgkTg

Monday, April 12, 2010

2000 'n Hate!

Alright, bitches. Here are my rankings of the teams, based on hate. If you disagree... go fuck yourself.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Don't forget: Soccer at 1 PM tomorrow!




You know the place...

View Larger Map

Week 8 Picks Results

Blaaaah. I feel like shit.  Let's do this:

So I forgot to post the final image of all the picks yesterday at 4pm... that's updated now.

Buchanan, Maria, Gorecki and Kristen (-1)

all get a drink from:

Smithkey, YellowBird, Paige, Rollo, Geoff (-4).

I told Marla she lost last night, but upon further review she didn't. Oops?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Week 8 Inter-league Breakdown

A little breakdown of last nights action. Is the Boobies and Beer Conference (aka fun conference) actually better then the Asshole Conference (aka asshole conference)? With SuperBad being the only team producing a win for the A-hole conference during last nights inter-league play it it looks like the BBC might be a little underrated.

Winners By Conference









Picks Breakdown
Number of picks made= 168 (21 people, 8 games)
Picks for Boobies and Beer Conference= 77 (45.8.33%)
Picks for Asshole Conference= 91 (54.166%)

Boobies and Beer Win Percentage= 75%
Asshole Conference Win Percentage= 12.5%
Tie Percentage= 12.5%

*Note: My math might be a little questionable but then again so is SuperBads "Randomness"






Picks - Week 8

Picks are closed!


FROM AUGUSTA - Paige, you win!

WOW! Just wow!!! Great video. Not sure what you win but if there is a contest, you WIN!!!

Buchanan, reality show is a great idea. I had a guy wanting to follow me around last season, but since i was in the midst of some legal trouble, i declined. I know if contacted him now, he would be on board. Bayshore division reality show, who is game????????????????

-RPK


Soccer this Saturday: 1pm @ Monroe Middle again

Played 11 v 11 full field last weekend...good times...lets keep it going.

And can Rubs comes out to play??



You know the place...

View Larger Map

Waka Gameday

For those who don't like the jpg, let's try it this way for once.


ESPN’s WAKA Gameday


Reece - Oh they are bringing in Silkk The Shocker & Master P to sing The Shocker and tonight its Shocker nation hoping to will their team to victory in front of their team. Playing for a higher seed it's The Shockers vs. The Playground Bullies in front of a ruckus scene here in Tampa.
Announcer - Welcome to WAKA Gameday, pouring drinks by MacDinton's
Reece - What a great scene behind us once again as we bring you this regular season finale of Waka Gameday. Reece Davis with you today, alongside Digger Phelps, Jay Bilas and Bob Knight. Dick Vitale will not be with us this morning as he is still recovering from the Duke National Title on Monday. What games are you looking forward to or any upsets on the Slate tonight?
Digger - Credit Superbad. Their MO has been random all year but I think that gets scrapped tonight. They have been having two a day practices this week getting ready for this game. It's their tournament tune-up and I’m looking for a big game out of Superbad.
Bilas - I'm looking at the Yeagabombs. There was some talk about them tanking the game last week to get this matchup. That is absolute nonsense. You look back to last season and it was Yeagabombs vs. Balls N Dolls in the first round of the tournament. Yeagabombs learned their lesson last year that you need to win games to avoid the big first round matchup. Team Fabulous will have to slow down their offense and I don't think they do it. Yeagabombs win tonight.
Knight - You know I think given the speed at the top of the Dollar Wells lineup it's going to be a gamble, but I like Thee Beer Nuts. They got embarrassed on the field last week after winning the Beer Olympic events. I think in the end they are too much for Dollar Wells.

Reece - Now for Thursdays Selections. How about ToeJammers vs. WakaShame?
Digger - The ToeJammers can score, but more importantly that'll take the pressure off the defense. ToeJammers win big and make a statement to the league that they are in tournament mode.
Bilas - Against the ToeJammers, you have to play rock solid defense and keep them off the bases. I like WakaShame to do that tonight. They need this signature win tonight.
Knight - You know I look for The ToeJammers not just to do well in this game but to be tough in the tournament. WakaShame is going to get their rear ends beat here today.

Reece - Balls N Dolls are a thorn in the leagues side. To be honest they ought to pay property tax at the PAL fields having won the last 7 games here this year. Can they go for number 8 and finish the regular season undefeated? It's Balls N Dolls vs. Pick Me Up.
Bilas - This is going to be an incredible toughness game. I give the edge to Balls N Dolls because of their outstanding defense. Balls N Dolls is a loaded team and Nick is an absolute factor why they are undefeated.
Knight - Only a Duke grad could come up with a statement like that and I'm proud of you boy. Now you know, I think Balls N Dolls are too athletic and only shot to beat them is to slow them down. I don't think this year Pick Me Up is capable of doing that. Balls N Dolls win.
Digger - A couple weeks ago I was really impressed by the rise of Pick Me Up, however they have struggled recently. We all know how great of a defensive team Balls N Dolls is and they really come after you and put pressure on you. We are now in the final week of the season and Pick Me Up is still searching for an identity. I don't think they will get it done offensively tonight, I also have Balls N Dolls winning.

Reece - It's The Shockers vs. The Playground Bullies in our showdown game. Few teams have been more perplexing then The Shockers this season. They have been good enough to beat the Alcoballics and Yeagabombs, a couple of top teams but lost to The Ligers and Thee Beer Nuts and tumbled in the power rankings. That has left the coach frustrated and Shocker nation pretty much bewildered. Your thoughts?
Knight - First of all, study last game played and that tells me a lot about these teams. Shockers finally won a game since they had their full team, while Playground Bullies got upset. You know I think the Playground Bullies have to play extremely well case I think The Shockers will and if the Shockers do, they are unbeatable. Shockers win tonight.
Bilas - You measure yourselves. You know if you can beat The Shockers or The Playground Bullies here, you can beat anybody. They both have proven they can play with the best teams. They both can score runs and they play hard, if not as hard as anybody I've seen all year. The problem is right here neither has shown heart, they aren't fighting and their records reflect that. I've yet to see furrow brows on their team, like whose going out there to kick some tail. They are taking punches but not throwing punches. I think the keys to this game are going to be depth, defense and patience. All of which favor The Shockers.
Digger - The Playground Bullies still need time to develop back into their old form as their problems have been defense recently. I agree with Bob Knight that looking back at last game, I was impressed with The Shockers. I feel after their last 2 wins, they have the confidence back to make things happen. I think they are the strongest of the teams that have potential. Since Dickie V is still recovering from the Duke victory, we drew straws and I get to go out into the crowd. My pick for the game has The Shockers bullying the Playground Bullies pretty bad and also sending a statement to the league they are ready for the tournament.

Reece - Enjoy your kickball Thursday

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Best Video Ever

Please consider this video when voting for Crystal Pitcher.  Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigers. (Yes, that is our very own Paige)


Man Reveals Intimate Romance With Dolphin



Monday, April 5, 2010 9:05 GMTPUNTA GORDA, Fla. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A 58-year-old writer is revealing that he had an intimate relationship with a dolphin in the 1970s.
In 1971, Malcolm Brenner says he began a nine-month emotional and sexual relationship with a dolphin named Ruby.

His passionate, real-life romance with the marine mammal is the basis for his new novel, Wet Goddess: Recollections Of A Dolphin Lover (Brenner).

Brenner met the sea seductress while taking photos of Ruby for a Florida amusement park and things escalated from there.

He says the dolphin would nuzzle, flirt, and dance for him in the water, making it known that she wanted something more than friendship.

The constant “come-ons” led Brenner to look at Ruby as a person. At the dolphin’s suggestion they got physical and engaged in sex, an experience he calls “phenomenal.”

Brenner suspects many people have had similar affairs with dolphins because the animals are so human-like. By the way, beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida.

Brenner says a relationship with a dolphin is hard because they’re clingy and “require attention 24/7.” Since his tryst with Ruby, he’s never loved another.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hey DPT!!!

Hey DPT!  Did you hear the ToeJammers beat Off Constantly?!?




Yeah it was crazy.  Off Constantly was up like up 4-0 thanks to a bunch of ToeJammer errors, which undoubtedly included HNiB dropping shit in the field.




Yeah, srsly! But then like, the Toolshed couldn't finish the game and made a shit-ton of errors of their own... and lost the game 5-4 amidst a lot of arguing and rule disagreements!




I know... shits crazy. Would have never expected it to play out like that.

Breaking News

The Toe-Jammers beat us, Off Constantly, last week.


In other news, Duke Beat Butler last night, LOST is on tonight, and the Earth continues to spin on it's axis.
See you all on Thursday.

OK Bito... Let's Really take a good hard look at all the Rules. (By following a link and not taking up half the damn page)

KICKBALL
OFFICIAL RULES
OF THE GAME
2010



The End.

Final Ruling...

...for all the people who can't read good.

Once again during our game there was a dust up after a play at 1st base when there shouldn't of been. The rules are very clear.

Here is what happened. The throw to first was wide. The 1st baseman, attempted to make the catch by stretching/positioning his whole body across the base path and blocking both bases. The runner redirected and touched the actual 1st base, not the extra one. Runner safe. There should have been no discussion.

Here is the entire rule. Let's break it down line by line.

Final Ruling #1
1.06 - Optional Extra Base – The option of using this field setup must be made by the division board of directors
each season via formal vote and approval at a scheduled meeting prior to the third week of games played. Once
use is approved, this extra base must be used for all games of that division season and division tournament
games.
We use the extra base so this applies to every game.

If the extra base is used:

a. The Extra Base is only available for runners traveling from home plate (see Rule 10.06);
Easy to understand.

b. Fielders trying to make an out on first base must touch the base in fair territory (the First Base). Runners
hindered by a fielder touching the base in foul territory (the Extra Base), will be safe;
Read this one again. The fielder cannot be touching or hindering the runner from reaching the extra base. If they are, the runner is safe.

c. When a play is attempted at first base, a runner who touches the First Base prior to being called safe at the
Extra Base shall be called out, except under the exception in Rules 1.06f and 1.06g;
Let us continue reading for those exceptions.

d. Once a runner has reached first base safely the runner must start the next play on the First Base. Any runner
standing on or touching the Extra Base at the beginning of the next play will be out;
Ok so once you've made it to 1st base, you can no longer stand on the extra base, if someone has trouble with this then they deserve to be out. Kind of like people who overrun 2nd base by 10 feet.

e. No additional base may be used at any other base;
Okay we get it Rule Man. No additional bases, except slip n' slides.

f. The runner is permitted to use the First Base if avoiding collision with a fielder in foul territory. In this event, the
fielder in foul territory is permitted to tag the Extra Base (see Rule 14.02o);
Here is the big one. The extra base is technically foul territory. So if the 1st baseman is all stretching out and blocking the extra base and doesn't actually have the ball/merely stretching out to receive it. Which is what happened in our game and I have seen happen in other games, the runner can run to the actual 1st base.

g. The runner may use First Base if attempting to advance to Second Base, or if there is no fielder on First Base.
A runner (see Rule 1.06a) using or touching First Base in any other circumstance is out.
So you can use the 1st base if there is no play there. Cool got it.


***Grifter, sorry but you and everyone else who subscribes to this line of though is wrong. This rule is cut and dry, there should be no more arguing***

Final Ruling #2
Almost every game I ref and play in I see people running out of the base lines trying to avoid tags. And we aren't talking a step or two to the right or the left. We are talking 10-15 feet/half way into the outfield.

As it should happen, one of the male clowns that we played this past week tried this nonsense. He overran 2nd base by 15+ feet, he was out in left field. The ball was thrown back to 2nd to tag him out and he claimed an outfielder who was obstructing him.

Not so fast my friend.

10. RUNNING AND SCORING
10.01 Runners must stay within the baseline. Any runner outside the baseline is out (see Rule 14.02k):
Oh look, when you run outside the baseline, you are out.

a. Runners may choose their path from one base to the next, and may follow a natural running arc;
So natural running arc. Not overrunning a base by 15 feet.

b. Runners are free to change course to avoid interference with a fielder making a play;
So you can avoid a tag, under the following condition...

c. When attempting to avoid a ball tag, runners may move no more than 4 feet out of their established path.
So if someone is attempting to tag you with the ball, you have four feet either side of the base path to work with. 4 feet is only a step or two. Not much.

10.02 Obstruction. Fielders must stay out of the baseline. Fielders trying to make an out on base may have their
foot on base, but must lean out of the baseline. Runners hindered by any fielder within the baseline, not making
an active play for the ball, shall be safe at the base to which they were running. Runners may choose to advance
beyond this base while the ball is still in play.
Here is a big one. And I see this every game. And this also applies to the 1st ruling above. If a fielder is standing on a base they can have their foot on the base. FOOT singular, not both feet, nor can they stand in front of the base, or block the base. The fielder MUST lean out of the baseline.

Active play for the ball, means you are actually moving to get the ball. Not standing there attempting to make a force out and you decide you can stretch it all out and hinder the runner.

Think of it this way. The runner is entitled to the base path. They just are, it is cut and dry. The base path is like a hard plastic tube, like a subway, or those underwater escalators at seaworld. The runner has every right to be there. The fielder does not. The only ways that the fielder can access the hard plastic tube is to
A) Have the ball and stand at one of the two entrances and attempt to tag the runner.
B) Run across the tube to make an active play.

The fielder cannot just stand in the tube while waiting for the ball to reach them, they can't block the tube, if the throw is wide they can intercept the throw parallel, above, beside, and behind the tube, but they cannot enter the tube, while the runner is there, that is obstruction, and the runner is safe.

For the 'tards #3
10.07 Base Running on Overthrows;
a. an overthrow is a ball thrown, kicked, or deflected into foul territory while making a defensive play toward a
player or base;
This is pretty simple,... hey, know what? If you guys don't get this, just ring your call button, and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard.

b. a runner may advance only one base beyond the base the runner is on or running toward when the ball travels
into foul territory;
Three key things in this one.
#1 - If you are standing on the base and the ball goes into foul territory, you get to go to the next base. And the next base only. i.e. if you are on 2nd base and there is an overthrow to 1st base, you only get to go to 3rd base.

#2 - If you are 1 step off of the base, thus you are "running toward" the next base. You get to go to that base, PLUS the next one. i.e. if you have left 2nd base and are advancing toward 3rd and there is an overthrow to 1st base, you can continue past 3rd base and on to home.

#3 - "Foul Territory" - This overthrow rule only applies to balls that don't not stay in the field and go into "foul territory". If the ball stays in the field, you can run until your heart is content.

c. one base on an overthrow is a restriction on the runner – not an automatic right for the runner to advance;
This is easy.


d. if any fielder attempts to make an out prior to returning the ball to the pitcher, runners may commence base
running.
Once the defensive team returns the ball to fair territory and tries to make an out, or throw it to 2nd, or doesn't get the ball directly back to the pitcher ON the pitching mound. The play once again becomes live and the runners are free to continue running.



The rules are pretty simple actually. But people don't take time to read them, then they get all worked up and start shouting and carrying on like they know what they are talking about.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The XVCLVII(ish) Beer Olympiad (Posted late because nobody likes to upload pictures)



The Ligers and Thee Beer Nuts faced off in another Beer Olympics for the ages Thursday night on field D. Eager to play this game both teams managed to have enough people show up on time for the early 6:30 pm start.

Pregame: The Ligers, minus the services of ace chugger David G., didn't put up much of a fight in the team chug-off. James and Charlie finished us off before Bull and I even had a chance to chug. This did not bode well for the Liger's hopes in the Olympic events to come.

1st Inning: The Ligers, the away team for the first time this season, stepped up to the plate in the top of the first inning. The bases were quickly loaded with some excellent kicking from the top of the Liger's lineup. Two sacrifice flies later, the Ligers took the early lead 2-0. The Liger defense made quick work of the top of TBN's order, even with Cathy "Red Card" Leone sliding into first going for the "Nate special".
The second Olympic event of the evening was the "Pitchers and Straws" race. TBN, despite their name, are not so good with the beer pouring,sporting quite a bit of head on their pitcher. So while their pitcher looked something like this, the Ligers actually attempted to drink 4 full beers. TBN won this event amid some controversy and forced the Ligers to kick the next inning barefoot.

Neither team did much on the field for the next couple of innings. TBN won the third Olympics event, the bat spin relay, giving them a 3-0 lead in the Olympics and 4 outs in the bottom of the third inning. The Ligers mounted a comeback, however, using the Lady Liger's cheer-leading experience to secure a win in the human pyramid relay race. The Ligers won the right to have a team mate pitch, and thankfully, Chandler managed not to strike anyone on his team out. For you historians out there, Rollo managed this feat during his tenure with the Ligers, thanks for taking him off our hands Bullies. The Ligers strung together some hits in the top of the 4th inning, adding two more runs, bringing the score to 4-0.

The final Olympic event is also the newest one, the flip-cup relay. The Ligers, hoping to make the Olympics tally respectable, and remain undefeated in this event, came out of the gates flipping. By the time it came down to the anchor legs, the outcome was inevitable thanks to Chandler's ability to one flip, even with the whole Beer Nuts team screaming in his ear. This win brought the Olympics score to 3-2 and the Ligers earned an extra defender for the final inning.
The Beer Nuts strung together some hits and scored two runs in the bottom of the fifth inning, but the comeback was not to be. After throwing out Brooke at first on a bunt, Nate decided to try for home. This, it turns out, was not a smart idea. Nate had already been thrown out trying to make it to first earlier in the game, and this time was no different as my throw took a Liger bounce and caught Nate on the leg, securing the Liger victory, 4-2.
Oh, James and I dominated the egg toss, again, by the way.

When you put the ball in Ty's hand...

So the Jammers had a brainfart or two/horrendous fielding the other night during our game against Off Constantly. Suddenly in the the bottom of the 4th we found ourselves down 4-1 with two on and two outs. Using a small dose of timely hitting and Mikey the Terminator, we were able to tie up the game with 3 runs on 2 outs. You probably already know where this is going don't you?

5th inning and 3 up 3 down for Off Constantly.

The Jammers waste no time in loading up the bases with no outs. Off Constantly know that any deep fly ball means the end of the game, so they decide to pack the infield with all 10 players. Needing only 1 run, it comes down to Rachel who pops up. Up steps myself, after a few pitches and a foul, I send a meek popup to Ty on 1st base, who tries the relay home to tag out the runner from 3rd Griff.

(Photographic representation of the ensuing play)



As you can see, the catcher is mere feet away from Griff as he spreads his "eagle wings" (very distant cousin of the "batwings" b.t.w) and takes flight, yet the catcher is unable to hit his target.

In the end Griff's double eagle wing/pokemon/somersault/end around tele-tubby/triple blue jay gimmick into home plate clinches the game for the Jammers.

Well done Griff.



Bonus Material:
a) Surprisingly Griff didn't hurt himself during the penultimate moment of the game.

b) Look in the background (Directly above Griff's left knee) at Grifter who is almost giddy at the thought of ending the game on a play at the plate. Wish someone had the agony of defeat follow up pic - HORN!!!

Power Rankings - Week 8

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

Love, DPT.



Bill Hicks, comedian.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Don't forget: Soccer at 1 PM tomorrow!

Yes, it'll be 80-something degrees...welcome to TYPICAL Florida weather.

Monroe Middle School (map IS interactive, kids!)


View Larger Map


And don't forget...featuring 'FLOGLOALIE':

Picks Results - Week 5b

The Beer Olympics had another casualty last night.  Since I was pretty drunk, I couldn't even tally up the picks results correctly.

So Jim from the Shockers missed one game...  And I thought 9 of us missed 4 games.

Turns out... Nate missed 5 and owes Jim a drink.  However, a few of us (myself included) bought Jim a beer.

So... fuck it.  Congrats Jim on your free, undeserved beers.

Nate... I tried really hard... and failed (in tallying).

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Picks - Week 5b

Picks are CLOSED!


Red Rocket Report: Rockets Get Hard, Stay Hard, Hose Down Competition to Win Grand Championship in Dominant Fashion





Un·der·dog
(ŭn'dər-dôg', -dŏg') n.
One that is expected to lose a contest or struggle, as in kickball or politics.

That's not a word commonly used in reference to the Red Rockets. After losing in the 2nd round of their league tourney, the Rockets entered the Grand Champions Invitational Tourney as a low seeded at large bid. Thus, our Happy Humpin' Hornball Heroes in Red were an underdog for the first time this year. No worry. These peeps know how to finish any job the right way. The way any respectable person would. By handing her a towel and saying "Here ya go. Thank you, that felt great, but I have a lot to do. You should probably get dressed and go now."




The Rockets truly were the "kings of the hill" saturday afternoon. They used stellar defense, timely kicking, aggressive baserunning and a lot of Anal Eaze to butt-bone the entire Kickball Society field of champions. And butt-boning is putting it kindly. They went through 3 bottles of Anal Eaze, outscored their opponents 26-4 and did not trail once the entire day.











It was exciting. It was orgasmic. It was messy. Several Rockets explained the feeling they got when it was over.

"It feels awesome," exclaimed Dawson Hicks. "This totally makes up for being born a ginger! People can openly hate all they want now. I don't care!"

"This is really satisfying," explained Alicia Zorilla. "And I'm not one to be easily satisfied. It usually takes a couple of attempts to get me... er, it right."



After winning his first kickball tournament ever (he's only played on the Beer Nuts before this), Nate Leighton took a moment to collect his thoughts, soak it all in and enjoy the limelight. He hollered, smacked a random girl on the ass, shotgunned a beer and shouted "Boom! Now I'm done!"




Game 1 vs One Kick Wonders

The Rockets first opponent of the day wasn't really much to write about. Here's a team with some athlete's and not much personality on the field. Imagine an uglier but quieter BnD squad with zero fanny packs. I know. You can't, but try anyway. One of their players had those gloves wide receivers and defensive backs wear playing football. I'm going on six years playing kickball now. That was first.


The Rockets got lubed up and exploded right out of the gate with a 5-run first inning facial. By the time the One Kick Wonders figured out what had happened the Rockets we're already carbing up for the next round. This one was one-sided. Cathy Leone actually admitted to intentionally popping up in the late innings fearful that the Rockets would keep scoring runs and blow their load again. The thought of a large load started getting to her. And Ruben wasn't at the field to have sex with her in front of everyone again, so she put a banana in her mouth to take away the urge and refocus.






"We we're not going to blow another early load and then go limp today," said Rocket Captain John "Griff" Griffin. "We had worked on that for weeks. We tried thinking about baseball and it didn't help much. We tried hypnotism. No luck. So we just had orgies all week. The regular sex really got our endurance up and it was great to see it translate on the field."

The Rocket D was suffocating and after getting out of 2 on jam in the 2nd, the One Kick Wonders never threatened, but they did get violated. The Rockets were courteous though. Left a nice tip on the nightstand.

The Final Tally:
Red Rockets 7
One Kick Wonders 0
Anal Eaze 65



Game 2 vs Drunk Again & Looking to Score

Well after ass raping fresh meat, it was time for some sloppy seconds with a familiar foe, Drunk Again & Looking to Score. You hardcore Rocket fans will remember this was the team that our Bulging Boner Blast-offs had to come from behind to defeat in the last inning. A couple of ball/rhyme drops by Gorecki erased a lead, but opened the door for a dramatic win. A busch on busch league elimination match was inevitable. A few Bushwackers even crowded around to watch the action.






After a 1-1 first inning, the Rockets seized control like a porn director. Our phallic symbolized friends would stretch the lead while keeping a tight leash (as seen on the right) defensively. Some more aggressive base running and a relay to nail a potential score at the plate would take the wind out of Drunk Again's sails.
















Though they didn't really unleash any big facials in this one, the Rockets did lube up and squeeze across a couple of insurance runs to put it away. This would turn out to be the Rocket's most competitive game of the afternoon. The Rockets kept the celebration short to prepare for the finals... and to get another drink.

The Final Tally:
Red Rockets 8
Drunk AGain 3
Anal Eaze 41


Finals vs Blue Ballers (Northdale)

The Rockets patiently awaited their next opponent. The Blue Ballers and Average Joes of the Sunday night league were going extra innings. After some over the top testosterone filled actions by the Blue Ballers, they celebrated a victory.




"Watching them play, they seemed like a bunch of pricks," explained Rocket SS Chandler "Honeybuns" Brown. "And I say that negatively because I usually like pricks. They taste good on my lips. But in the end they we're actually cool people and not pricks."







The Blue Ballers were good. Real good as evidenced by their perfect record. They had run the table in the regular season and won their league tourney. A perfect 14-0 heading into the finals. Would our well-endowed and chest-stacked friends in red have a chance?

The Rockets would put up a couple early runs to start the game. The Blue Ballers' 3rd baseman then kicked one deep to left. Cathy "Carl" Leone would run what seemed like a 5K trying to gather the ball. The end result was one of the longest homeruns I've ever seen. That would cut it to 2-1, but that's as close as the Ballers would get.

A couple of aggressive base running decisions would really test the Blue Ballers' D and they we're not up to task. The Rockets smelled blood in the panties and attacked. They forced error after error and a violent 6-run inning facial later left some drippage on the Ballers' chins. Unlike the hater rally a year ago, a very pro-Red Rockets crowd mixed of Drunk Again, Bushwackers, Average Joes and One Kick Wonders would cheer when a score of 8-1 was announced. Guess not inviting Jeanette back was a positive for league relations. Can't imagine why.



The Rockets could smell the title, but never stepped off the gas. Three more insurance runs would push the lead to double digits and turn this one into a laugher. When the dust had finally settled and the jizz finally dribbled off of the Blue Baller's faces, the Rockets had donkey punched a previously undefeated team 11-1.






The Final Talley:
Red Rockets 11
Blue Ballers 1
Anal Eaze 97


Other Game/Afternoon Notes:


The Rockets won 3 games in one day for the first time ever.

Bito and Heather are now engaged. The two hosted a small engagement party after the tourney. The occasion was so special that Bito actually wore a shirt. Congrats, guys.




The sex word for the week is "the Leaky Faucet." The leaky faucet is when you're banging a girl in the ass and instead of cumming you pee in her ass. As you continue to bang her, some of the pee will start to drip out of her butt... like a leaky faucet.







Griff made some kick ass pudding shots. Must have gotten the recipe from Maria.


Catching fly balls, throws to 1st and running the bases while carrying around a Round Up Pump N' Go Spray Dispenser is not as easy as it may look.








With timely hitting and a huge diving catch at first base, Smitty won the Donkey Punch. It was his first time collecting the award this season, but he picked a great time to do it. Congrats, Smitty!





















He was so excited about winning it, he danced by himself.....















before remembering it's true use and purpose as seen here. Give her a pink sock, Smitty!











Liger visor was given back to Chandler. Cathy had it all along. She now owes him a handski.








The Rockets introduced next season's version of the Wendy officially called the Gorecki. For failing to show up the entire day and having a ginger play his position for him (and play quite well) Ruben earned the Gorecki. Yella accepted it on his behalf.

















Great friends are hard to find. Great friends who give you sexual favors are even harder to find.















Alas, the off-season is here. Time to relax.











This week's 'Brooke Loves Yella's Karaoke Lyrics' is taken from Flo Rida's (No, not that Flo) "In the Ayer"


Oh hot damn,
This is my clam,
Gonna pound this thing strait till the AM,
Shit's so loose ya'll don't understand,
Just felt a draft of Ayer, ay-ayer, ayer, ay-ayer!



See ya next season! Until then, rock out with your red rocket out!