Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Kickball Haikus

I'm in Alpharetta for work, this city is extraordinarily boring, a taxi to get to the train to get into a fun city like Atlanta is $45, and I'm stuck here without a rental car.

Welcome to kickball haiku!

Where is my kitten?
Why does it smell like ass holes?
Balls N Dolls was here.

Flo says I'd Kick That.
Chandler says Pants on the Ground.
I say that team blows.

Jammers win it all.
Congrats on a great season.
BEARDFACE still hates you.

Who is Mooseknuckle?
Nobody knows for certain,
but they lost a lot.

Where is your lineup?
Rules say you must provide one.
Here is our excuse.

That is not the rule.
This is the rule, change the call.
OC still loses.

Chouder is in love.
What we really want to know:
did Paige bed the cop?

Ballics almost win.
What happened to their chances?
Gorecki dropped them.

Team's named Pick Me Up,
and the team won't make a chant.
Does that team matter?

THEE Beer Nuts drink beer.
They win at beer olympics.
Can't win at kickball.

Oh my, what bumpits.
There are daywalkers, as well?
Guidos still love you.

Randomize offense.
Randomize defense, I swear.
Oh wow, Frank's pitching!

Thank you Dolla Wells.
Grifter likes your slumpbusting.
You unleashed the fury.

Team Fab bedazzles.
Would you like your shirt glittered?
Maybe a handie?

Jager tastes shitty,
but when it's mixed with red bull,
kickball regression.

PGB starts hot,
lose to Dolla Wells and Yeags?
Now playground bitches.

So I think that's one per team. Hope you enjoyed kickball haiku, and I hope I got all of them right. Feel free to add your own. I recycled almost all of the material of the year, but I'm sure there are scraps left somewhere.

11 comments:

Chandler said...

genius

Chris said...

Whatever version of the Pulitzer DPT gives out...winner.

Geoff said...

Awesome... well done!

MJ said...

Here's one for you for your job well done:

Chandler hates babies
Jack is Haiku'in it up!
Five dollar foot longs

trinihic said...

awesome.. :)

April (tall) said...

That is fantastic!

YellowBird said...

Jack's haikus kick ass
Reminds me of Dongs in rear
Yeahhh! Pak it Xtra!

Paige said...

Great stuff...what happens off camera stays off camera. ;)

Jack said...

MJ, I enjoyed the existentialism of your haiku.

Yellow, I'm frightened by the imagery of yours.

Paige, I'll take that as a yes. Internet high five!

Rob said...

Hilarious

YellowBird said...

Sorry, Jack. Kind of an inside joke if you didn't make it to the Ragin Cajun.