Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Events

Lets discuss some long overdue events and issues:

1) Poker - Jared has expressed interest in hosting the game once his house addition is complete. Bito also mentioned possibly hosting another game. Duc and E-Flo shuffle fat-stacks of cash each week at the casino and need to give that money to us... not the Indians. So let's help feed their addiction.

2) Volleyball - It's going to get "cold" soon. At least cold for the 3 of us in the league who were born and raised in Tampa. So before that happens... shouldn't we do one last pool & volleyball gathering at Ali's place (Rocky Point)? That was fun over Memorial Day.

3) Sammich - Brie is supposed to make Bull one. It hasn't happened yet. She also apparently still owes some drinks due to a piss-poor performance in week 3 picks. Take that up with her though. She's very sneaky.

4) Paint Ball - Gomez has the lead on this one. So it's hopeless.

5) Halloween Party - If you aren't going to FL/GA... then go to Jared's. Not to buy diamonds. To drink beers and have crazy costume sex. If you didn't get the Evite for this... it was an oversight. So let me know.

6) DPT Project - After some major hiccups... our latest project is finally moving along again. I hope to get it completed before the end of the season, but that might require help from sweet Baby Jesus.

7) New Fields - They still suck and I'm very surprised I haven't heard of any sprained ankles yet.

8) Universal Health Care - Should include treatment for all illegal aliens... even if they come from beyond our galaxy... since we're just one galaxy of an estimated 200 billion in the entire Universe. If each galaxy can easily hold hundreds of billions of stars, and each star can easily have multiple planets (ours has 8 and "Pluto")... it's not too far fetched to think that there is probably life on many of the 876 fucktillion planets currently in existence. Anyway... providing coverage to that many lifeforms can get expensive. Canada hasn't figured this out yet.

9) Flip Cup Tournament - What time does this start at the mid-season party? Is it best of 5 or 7?

10) Alcoballics - If the AB's go 9-0-1... is that impressive or anticlimactic?

Week 4 Picks

Get them in before 3pm on Thursday.


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Weiner Cousins, every kickball game is a family reunion!

this came up the other day and as an avid Scrubs fan and thanks to urban dictionary i can pass on this valuable branch of your family tree. see all my cousins on thursday!!!




MIDSEASON PARTAY, FLIP CUP TOURNY - TEAM SIGN-UPS




For those of you who don't know, we have decided on a date/place for the Mid-Season party. Tis OCTOBER 10th @ ELMERS in YBOR. So, now on to the fun stuff...who is ready to dominate in some flip cup!?!?!

You can let us know on here if you are going to represent your team in the tournament, but you will need to get with Brie/Marla on the field or at MacDintons to pay up. You only have until next thursday (Oct 8th) to sign up so don't wait! It's for charity! Weeee!


Same as last year rules apply...7 players per team, $5 per player ($35 per team).


(BTW Ty will also be putting out an email with all the info for those that do not happen to check the blog)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Week 4 Power Rankings

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Taking Coed Sports Seriously

My brother pointed me toward a site that's devoted to everything about being a "bro."

On top of pounding insane amounts of Yeagabombs, the following characteristics are typical of a bro:

1) Gets fucked up. By far the most important quality of being a bro
2) Takes mad protein
3) Hooks up with mad chicks.
4) Above all loves hanging with his bros and would do anything for them, even let them drive when they’ve had too much to drink.

The #51 thing that bro's do might be the best - Taking Coed Sports Seriously

Friday, September 25, 2009

Marla, i took your "Sex Degrees of Separation"

it doesn't work.



Kicktease No Longer Teasing Victory

In a defensive showdown on field D, Kicktease won in a close battle against Team Fabulous. At first we thought Team Fabulous was not showing as they only had like 5 players 10 minutes before the first pitch. In the end, Team Fabulous and all the flashiness on their shirts came out in full force.

Kicktease got off to a fast start in the bottom of the first inning going up 1-0 when Virgil scored after singling and then going to third on a short kick. That was all the scoring until the top of the fifth when Team Fabulous finally put a run on the board to tie the score. Not realizing that Kicktease was the home team, Team Fab scoured to find Ty to see if we can go to extra innings if tied after 5 innings. After Virgil got on first on a fielder's choice, the unsung hero of the game, Erin, kicked it short again to try to get Virgil over to third. Luckily, they made a bad throw to first (I think as I didn't pay attention) and Erin made it to second.

This sets up the game winning kick with runners on second and third with one out. Of course it just so happened that the captain Jeanette was up. She kicked a blooper that just went off the outstretched fingertips of the first basemen after pausing for a few minutes to stop her knees from shaking because she was so excited.

Final score 2-1 and the first ever win for expansion team Kicktease. All in all, it was a great game and Team Fabulous were, as always, a fun team to play. Next up is the team that no one hears coming because they are so quiet, Pick Me Up. Hopefully Kicktease don't have a big letdown after their big victory this week.

"Do not put your weiner in a dumbbell."

As an employee of one of our local news stations, I find it my duty to fill you all in on vital, breaking news. Must be a slow Friday - this was just posted on our site under "Top Stories" and was apparently reported to CNN earlier...



Man almost loses genitals in do-it-yourself experiment


Related Links
Man exposes himself, makes gang signs at neighbor
Man sues over genital amputation

Slideshow Reported by: Gary Sarnoff
Email: gsarnoff@abc15.com

LOS ANGELES -- A California man who tried an at-home attempt at lengthening his penis almost lost it instead.

According to a CNN report, the Costa Mesa man used a dumbbell gym weight and got stuck for three days.

The fire department was called to the emergency room and the only way to get the weight off the man's penis was to saw it off. It took about two hours, but crews were able to keep the man's organ intact.

A sex therapist in the area says the bizarre incident shows how all the products and advertisements that promise to make a penis grow can trigger someone to act extreme.

One woman who was told about the incident reacted by saying, "Do not put your weiner in a dumbbell. Probably not the brightest idea."


http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Man-almost-loses-genitals-in-do-it-yourself/kd0fGohn4k6RdsnXASGJmA.cspx

What's your magic number?

This is kinda weird, but I was curious about it. Not sure how accurate it really is, but what the hell.

The average Brit has had sex with 2.8 million people – indirectly.
Using the "Six Degrees of Separation" theory, you can find out your total number of indirect sex partners.
To find your "Sex Degrees of Separation" enter in the number of partners you’ve had with their sex and age into the calculator.

The calculator is at http://calculators.lloydspharmacy.com/SexDegrees/.

It'll make your real number seem waaay low. ;)

Rough Economy

THE NIT FAIRY

The rough economy is encouraging more and more people to go into business for themselves. I passed by one such entrepreneur today coming back from lunch. He was a 6'3" dude driving an extended cab pickup truck with his business advertisement on the side of the truck:

"Nit Fairy --- the only head lice treatment and nit removal service in the Tampa Bay Area. "

I thought this was a joke until I found their website later.... NitFairy.com

Hmmm one of my cousin's friends briefly started his own 'dog pooper scooper' company a couple years ago and I used to think that just may be the worst profession... until today.

BTW - what the hell is a Nit?






Ligers Get Their Ass Kicked

Apparently the Ligers victory over the ToeJammers went to their head. Achieving another huge upset against the Yeagabombs last night fell just a bit short. And by that... I'm referring to the 7-2 ass raping that took place at 8pm on Field A.

For some reason, emotions were running high with the guys in blue. Maybe they were just looking for a little more respect. Trying desperately to break into the upper echelon of the league. Or maybe it just wasn't the "right time" of the month. In any case... it wasn't a very glamorous sight.

So don't worry, Bayshore Division. The Ligers were reminded of their proper place in the league. We all awoke early this morning to hit up CVS for some "Plan-B."

Yeagabomb baby

NKOTB falls to the Jammers on the field... Dominates on the flip cup table.

With an uninspiring turnout at last nights game, NKOTB took another hard fought loss. After Farshad dominated Chuckers in the chug-off, we took the field as the home team. Limited to 9 players in the field we had a few issues dealing with the Jammers aggressive base running. We were able to get out of the inning trailing 3-1. Respectable. Then it all went down hill from there. I am sure Kevin or Rubs will be happy to go over each defensive scheme they put in place play by play, but I am hungover and i have to do actual work today. Call them at their 1-900 number if you are interested in hearing about the game.

During the second game of the night, NKOTB showed the Jammers that even though they may crush us on the kickball fields, we will destroy them on the flip cup table.

I was taking anyone on from the Jammers in one on one action of flip cup last night and finished the night a perfect 3-0.

After defeating Griff for the second time, I have begun to seriously comprehend starting a second team in this seasons flip cup tourney.

I need an official ruling from the PPC (party planning committee) to see whether or not they would let me participate on the same team from last year, the returning champs by the way, AND let me play by myself on the other side of the bracket... If and when my two teams met in the finals, I would drink and flip for both teams, as I can flip two cups at once.

Anyways, in rebuttal to MJ.... Are you even playing this year?

Acronym Game

NKOTB is BAAAD this year. Worse than The Beer Nuts...possible?

They need a new meaning for NKOTB. Here's my idea. Any suggestions?

N Non-
K Kickballers,
O Out
T There embarrassing
B Bayshore

Thursday, September 24, 2009

TO ARTHUR..................


Irish lead the party as Guinness celebrates 250th birthday

DUBLIN — Ireland's unofficial national drink celebrated its 250th birthday Thursday, with Prime Minister Brian Cowen hailing the anniversary as "an excuse for having a great party."
A scion of the Guinness brewing dynasty was also on hand to lead toasts to the "black stuff." The brand is a huge commercial success around the world.

Rory Guinness, a great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Arthur Guinness, who brewed the first pint of the dark ale in 1759, said it was a great day for the family and the company.
"One of the keys to Guinness is the fact that it comes from Ireland, because the country is what supplies the wonderful barley, the water, all the magic ingredients to go into making such a delicious pint.

"That is Ireland and those years of history and those years of scientific expertise that has gone into perfecting the drink," the 34-year-old told RTE state radio.

Dublin is the hub of worldwide hype to toast the Guinness founder, with millions expected to down a celebratory pint of the world's most famous stout in pubs from Cork to Cotonou and Hong Kong to Honolulu.

Live music was organised in 33 Dublin pubs and Rory -- jokingly describing himself as a "tour guide" at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin, Ireland's top tourist draw -- said he would "dearly love to have a pint in each of them."

Taoiseach Brian Cowen marked the occasion in a speech at the Storehouse shortly before the main party event at 17:59 pm (1659 GMT) -- to mark the year the firm began.
Calling Guinness a "global phenomenon," he said: "The Dublin celebrations are, of course, special because this is the home of the black stuff and Guinness is an iconic Irish brand -- one that we are very proud of."

"Anniversaries are important occasions. They allow us to come together to celebrate achievement, while looking forward with confidence to the future.
"They can also provide an excuse for having a great party!"
he added.

Some 10 million pints of the black stuff are now downed every day in 150 countries.

Guinness first started to flow when its founder, equipped with a small inheritance left by his godfather Archbishop Arthur Price, signed a 9,000-year lease on a run-down brewery in Dublin's St James's Gate and started one of Ireland's biggest commercial success stories.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Its Great to be a Florida Gator... (And Tim Te-bone)

Dammit, my seats were in the wrong section at Saturday's Game...

Week 3(a) Picks

Alright... let's try this again. Get your picks in by 3:00pm EST on Thursday.


Whoever wrote this is my hero

I thought you guys might enjoy this insightful conglomeration of thoughts. It's a bit long but I nearly wet myself reading it (No, really... I had to stop for a minute) so I had to share.



More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.


I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish
a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.


I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the
right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.


How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!


Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know
how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or
FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first
saw it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples,
I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I
had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G
as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile
is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red
Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me
if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't
already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I
find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the
fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about
it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating
to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before
dinner.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Kanye punks www.bayshorekb.com

click here to see

What a tool that prick is.

Duc & E-Flo: The Younger Years


It appears you never grow out of the habit of being a UNIT.


Monday, September 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Griff

Before and After "Jack"










video
(and for your viewing pleasure...this is what we shall now call the E-FLO booty hump LOL)

NGTW's Theme song...

My buddy, Crum-Dumpster, The Crumster, Crum, Josh, asked if I would post this for him. I told him all he had to do is email Chan Chan for posting rights but he is a scaredy cat.

Anyways he emailed his whole team and CC'd me on it (just Sayin that if NKOTB wants to keep me they are going to have to pay... not sure in what form or how much yet)

Here is the link. NoGamesThisWeek Theme Song

Since I cannot view videos from work, I am not to be held responsible, unless its awesome, then I take all the Credit.

HORN!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dates to Save

I thought everyone should be aware of the following dates...

Saturday, November 14th - Kickball Playoffs/Tournament

We're still working out details for the parties and hoping to have 2 this season.
Currently we are working on Saturday, October 10th for the Mid-season Party.
This could change!
I'll let you know positively once we've confirmed everything.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Umm Can I get a raise?

So when they told us we could "work from home"....

I hope they meant make everyone who stayed at your place and partied until dawn some homemade "bitos doritos" with a recipe you found on the internet for Cool Ranch Doritos.



Cut up corn tortilla



"Cool Ranch" Seasoning



The End Result.

They turned out great. But they aren't "Cool Ranch" it is missing something and Mike, Alison, and I cannot figure it out. It would be like if you ordered a pepperoni pizza and the server brought a cheese pizza. The cheese is still a good pizza but it's not pepperoni. I'm gonna continue to tweak the seasoning until I get it right.

Next time you come over I'll make some for you.

Rain Out?

So last night I was on my way home from work filled with excitement like a little Chan Chan on his way to Rollo's house to try out Rollo's new strap-on. I get an email from one Tyrus Gordon, Senior Customer Service Representative for WAKA Kickball that read, "Blah Blah Blah, Something Something, without Kickball I would have no life, blah blah blah, Rainout."

My immediate reaction was to steer my car back into one lane and to quit driving 80 mph with my knee. My second reaction was similar to Bito's when he walked in on Flo, Chan Chan, Rollo and Gorecki re-enacting the death scene from Donkey Punch. (Now available on Blu-Ray) HORROR!

After the initial shock wore off, and checking the sky for any rain in the area, which there wasn't, I was a little let down. But I decided that I was not going to let Ty ruin my plans for Thursday evening.

I got home, walked straight to my closet, put on my kickball getup, complete with sweatbands. Walked downstairs, grabbed my cooler from the pantry, walked to the fridge, grabbed two Delicious Miller Lites, filled my cooler with an additional 10 Miller Lites, and proceded down another set of stairs into my man cave (could not come across any gayer i know) and turned on the PS3.

I proceeded to go 15-0 with my Alma Matter, Miami University of Ohio, and black out after deciding in the National Championship game that I should start doing shots at the end of each qtr. (I had the game set on 5 min qtrs)

All of this, for those of you still reading, leads me to only one conclusion.

WE NEED A RAINOUT POLICY

I am not talking about, "Hey, its raining, no games tonight, see you next week." I am talking about, "Hey, Ty canceled our games, I was going to get wasted at KB, might as well meet up with everyone and get wasted anyways"

So here is my proposal, if Ty decides to ruin our fun again, we all agree to meet at Mac'd's at 730 and try to get as blacked out as possible. Or even have the teams that were supposed to play face-off in drinking games to decide the winner that week?

I know that some or most of you probably went to the bar anyways, but I am not as cool as you guys and no one called or txt'd (thanks nate) to tell me what was up... so in an effort to feel better about myself I think this policy would be beneficial to the comraderie of the league and I would feel less like an alchy for crushing a 12'er in my man cave by myself.

Discuss.

Chandler

Where's my requested video? :o)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Week 3 Picks

Get yours in by 3pm Thursday. Mike S. still owes Bull a drink for his PERFECT sheet last week. Good job Bull.


Prank of the Week- Lipstick Slingshot

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sodahead13

yeahya!!! james from TBN is the king but Sodahead13 is the ace!




Looking Bro

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Metallica is coming even sooner.



Metallica is a bit over two weeks away. Who is all going? What are your pre game plans?

(And yes Gorecki, I already know you'll be there in your sleeveless Canadian Tuxedo, and no I won't shun you because of this. All is forgiven when Metallica is on tap.)

U2 Concert Plans



The U2 Concert is upon us in a few short weeks, October 9th.

I know a lot of people on this blog are going, so what is everyone doing? Taking that Friday off? Pre Gaming in the Rarking Rot?...

kanye continues to sound off...




Hitler Finds Out About Kanye’s Little VMA Stunt

- who knew?



Monday, September 14, 2009

Classic Swayze Tribute

So Need One of These For KBall


Extra points for hot chick

Schwack in '87



Haven't had any Schwack references in a while...

Back by popular demand...


Word on the street is that a certain jello shot will be making an appearance at this Thursday's game. Supplies will be limited, so don't miss out!

Week 3 Power Rankings

This Isn’t Twilight: The XXX Parody





- it is official,

"Yes! A Twilight film I WILL definitely watch! The sexy 2009 female performer of the year Jenna Haze will star, and hopefully in the sequels, in This isn’t Twilight: The XXX Parody. Jenna will play the role of a porny, horny Bella, who is played by Kristen Stewart in the actual movie. This parody will be released by Devil Films on October 15th - just in time before Halloween!"

"Two things there's just no end to: Twilight Mania, and the market for porn parodies. Aha! There's an idea! On October 15, 2009, Devil's Film will release This Isn't Twilight: The XXX Parody, starring Jenna Haze. It's actually the second Twilight porn parody I'm aware of: In May I reported on the release of the Twilight of Virginity porn spoof from adult film company French Connection. But this one is much higher-profile: Jenna Haze, cast in the role of a pornified Bella for this parody, won Female Performer of the Year at the 2009 AVN Awards Show, the 2009 XBIZ Awards, and the 2009 XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) Awards Show, and is one of the biggest names in porn. The film comes out just in time for Halloween, and one month in advance of the Twilight sequel New Moon. No word yet on whether Devil's FIlm will be doing any cross-promotion with Tantus, maker of the "Vamp", the (unofficially) Twilight-inspired sparkly dildo."

Make checks payable to...

Gorecki gave his fantasy team a Tim Tebowesque speech to his players on Sunday asking his team to build a sizeable lead since Chucker's "Incas" have the Brady-Moss show tonight. But he had no idea his "promise" would make this kind of noise..




They will try and stay humble as this is only week one, but with the published draft ranking and now this weeks performance, visions of dollar bills and whatever unique championship trophy Yella comes up with begin to dance in the heads..

Sunday, September 13, 2009

And people say white guys can't dance...

Last month on a lonely Saturday night, Chandler sat at home replaying this clip over and over again as dreams of auditioning for "So You Think You Can Dance" started to become a reality.



He then decided to show off his new moves at Gator Rompin' a few weeks ago. Viewer discretion is advised.

video

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009

Tube Socks, Short Shorts and Cleavage…OH MY!!!


Alcoballics looked to record their first win last night vs. first year team Kick Tease. Alcoballics BARED it all last night and the risk paid off, but at what cost? Images of Gorecki’s legs will haunt me for the rest of my life. And I could have done without Ry’s high kick – revealing his “boys” and anal hair.

As far as the game goes, it looked like the Alcoballics were on their way of beating their record for the fastest KB game as both teams were unable to score any runs thru the first 3 innings. It wasn’t until after Mike “He’s Got Legs” Gorecki delivered a “Tebow-esque” speech going into the 4th that the Alcoballics showed some signs of life. With runners on 1st and 2nd, Ali “That Girl” Noble kicked a triple and just like that, the Alcoballics found themselves with a 2-0 lead. Kick Tease couldn’t answer and the final score: Alcoballics – 3 and Kick Tease – 0. Alcoballics recorded their second shutout on the season, but is still struggling to get their offense going.

Some high and lowlights of the game:

The Unit Trophy went to none other than Ali “That Girl” for her triple and 2 RBIs.

The Ding Dong Award was a close race. Mike “Skinny Legs and All” whiffed at his first at bat and EFlo dropped two easy catches. But after a closer look, the DD Award went to Erika who revealed to the world that her legs really aren’t prosthetics but after fouling out at her only at bat they might as well be. BURN!

Next week, Alcoballics (1-0-1) take on the undefeated Shockers (2-0-0) @ 8 PM on Field B.

David Slays Goliath... Again...

I found this article in Readers Digest: Kickball Housewife Edition. I thought it was accurate so I'll post it here...

Dear Readers: I'm not going to tell some grandiose story about how the Ligers beat the ToeJammers 2-0 on Field A during a picturesque setting sun at 7:00pm EST, with a steady breeze whisking across the uneven playing surface from the northeast . I'm not going to mention how no one with any common sense picked the upset. I definitely won't take any personal jabs at SoulGlo, by pointing out the Jammers never lost to the Ligers when Kevin was captain... or when SarahB was on a different team... or when SoulGlo restricted their female attendance. And it would be silly of me to use the 15 game winning streak and 5 game win-less streak held by the respective teams as reason to magnify the significance of the outcome.

The bottom line is... both teams played some good kickball.

The Ligers scored two runs in the first inning with aggressive base-running and a few good kicks. Beyond that... both teams shut each other down. Quite boring if you're someone who needs lots of extra base hits in order to get aroused. And the slow, methodical, soothing defensive play surely left referee Nate with some blue balls.

Referee Nate

Anyway, the ToeJammers had to lose eventually. I think both teams are happy that it happened within the friendly rivalry of longtime kickball friends. And big thanks to the SoulGlo Girls who brought and shared pudding shots and alcoholic gummy bears. Fucking awesome.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.

BEER GOGGLE FAIL


CAPTION CONTEST! Winner gets a beer next week

For Chandler...


Ligers vs ToeJammers 9-10-09


Chandler hiding from ToeJammers in the trash can.



Getting some SoulGlo Lovin!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Price is Wrong...

bitch

Picks

Who doesn't like Gambling, Drinking, and Playing Kickball?

When they all come together like Captain Planet in our weekly picks post that just makes them all tad bit better.

Toejammers Vs Ligers
Balls and Dolls Vs Wakashame
No Game Vs Team Fab
Alcoballics Vs Kicktease
TBN Vs Superbad
Your Mom Vs Pick Me Up
NKOTB Vs Yegabombs
Top Shelf Vs Shockers

Picks in by Thursday at 3:00PM

P.S. Chandler will not win again. Mark it down.


Special Tuesday Edition of the Summer Tennis Series Tonight



There will be a special encore edition of the Summer Tennis Series tonight at 6pm on the Riverfront Park tennis courts. Although there will be no bunnies on unicycles, the tennis being played will prove to be a hard fought match.

In other news, Chandler is out for the remainder of the kickball season after reinjuring his shoulder at the Beach Boys concert this weekend.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Sunday, September 6, 2009

This Dude is Dating Mila Kunis...


yep, Macaulay Culkin

Mila in Maxim

Dammit mom!!!!

Rob the Jewelry Store...


Tell 'em to make me a grill.
Really?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

saw this on CNN earlier today,

so i pulled it down for your viewing purposes.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Once again...you iphone fanboys get all the cool apps...

Mike's Catch

just a quick sketch. if i teach myself to animate this weekend, ill create a cleaner visual.





i am adding this lower res image because i forgot to change it over and it was too big. either way now you can full screen or scroll.


Defensive Battle b/t Alcoballics and Top Shelf

After a season off, Alcoballics are back and showed up in full force for the season opener vs. Top Shelf. With a roster of 14 girls and 13 guys, the sideline was flooded with Cardinal Red jerseys. Alcoballics are looking to make a statement this season with the addition of new players, Alcoballics paraphernalia and a new logo. Let’s take a look at how they did on the field.

In what was probably the quickest game in WAKA history (official time = 00:27:46), Alcoballics and Top Shelf shut each other out ending in a 0-0 tie. At one point, I had to wake one of the refs up on the field. Both teams had a chance to bring in runners, but couldn’t capitalize. One could argue that both teams played stellar defensive OR offensively, both teams struggled.
Perhaps the Alcoballics should change their chant from AL-CO-BALL-ICS 1-2-3 DRINK to AL-CO-BALL-ICS 1-2-3 OUT!!!

The highlight of the night goes to April Warner, who had a nice popcorn catch to end the 3rd inning and was awarded the Unit Trophy. And the lowlight of the night goes to none other than Angie, who managed to foul out at her only at bat and had to wear the Ding Dong hat to MacDinton’s.

Alcoballics will look to rebound offensively next week as they kickoff vs. Kick Tease (aka FloNette) at 7 pm on Field D.

Has “Your Mom” finally turned into a classy lady?

Well... She don' tried all types of shit
She quick to deep throat the dick
And let another bitch straight lick the clit

So the answer is NO.

And now "Your Mom" has added WINNING to her many talents. Something she has failed to grasp the past few seasons.

Know this children... "Your Mom" doesn't have time for wordy recaps, funny pics, self deprecation and/or laserdisc jokes. She has got shit to do around the house.

As for a recap from last nights game against NKOTB. We have Tony. And Tony "Won us the game" and that is all you need to know.

Next week "Your Mom" will burst (a la guys disgusting back cyst/zit) that tiny little bubble of hope and joy that Pick Me Up somehow managed to get a hold of by upsetting Yegabombs last night.

Es Un Juego Sucio! Chumps.

BeerJammed! Soul Glo Retains the BeerJam Belt With 4-0 Win!



A very sore ankle and seconds thoughts about trading away Phillip Rivers to the Horny Unicorns didn't stop John "Griff" Griffin from knocking in the game winning RBI last night. The reigning jheri curl looking champion, MVP and homerun king from the Red Rockets didn't see any action in the field, but looked to be healthy at the plate. Bad news for the Ligers, who probably won't see last night's game film due to Rollo's excessive "tipping" at gay bars and very costly off-season gender change operation, thus no VCR.

Game Notes

Ruben "Rubs" Kajkowski somehow pitched balls between blades of grass taller than Nate, which is only slightly higher than normal, in route to another shutout.

Mike "SportsCenter" Longton made the defensive play of the year in the 4th inning when he tracked down a foul ball and made a diving grab and tumbled over landing on his feet. Sick catch. If Frank had seen it, he might have gotten an erection.

Chris "Hey man..." Gomez showed some nice range running down a fly ball in center field.

Dawson "draft the Steelers D in the 2nd round" Hicks picked up his first win as captain.

Amber made a nice catch in left field.

When Charlie stands next to Nate they kinda look like Penn and Teller.

Many of the Jammers enjoyed watching Katie run to first base.

The Beer Nuts drank tons of beer.

Recaps...

Let's get those recaps going... I'll start...

Practice Makes Mediocre

In a not-so-stunning chain of events, Superbad tamed the Ligers 3-1 on Overgrown Prairie B last night. The 7pm beating was filled with preseason mistakes, made mostly by the good guys in blue. Superbad played the part of kickball bullies, when one of their lovely ladies decided to boot a ball OVER the head of outfielder Joe. Two RBI resulted and the game was pretty much decided. Obviously from their 8 practices this off season, Superbad had plenty of time to review all of the Ligers' tapes from the previous two seasons. And they had to have noticed that Joe always lets balls pass him.

Kinda bullshit if you ask me. The Ligers' don't own a VCR or LaserDisc and thus couldn't watch Superbad's tapes.

Anyway... at least the Ligers shut down The Hen House. And by that I'm referring to the cackling hens: Missy, Michelle and Sydney... who were too mesmorized by Chandler's giant chicklet teeth to get on base. Just sayin'... Take the victories where you can get them.

The Ligers travel to SoulGlo stadium next week to challenge the ToeJammers in what is sure to be an instant classic. In an effort of extra stupidity, the Liger captains have vowed not to shave until they get a win. We're looking at you, BeerNuts (week 3).

"Field B"