Thursday, April 8, 2010

Picks - Week 8

Picks are closed!


37 comments:

Geoff said...

2.0
nickel beers
yeaga
ballics
bullies
superbad
jammers
balls

Nate Dawg said...

Pants on the Ground
TBN
Yeaga's
Off Constantly (Ballics will win though since I didnt pick them)
Bullies (Dont let Thunder play outfield)
Superbad
Jammers
PMU

Kristen said...

Kick That
TBN
Yeaga
Ballics
Shockers
Superbad
Jammers
BND

Brie said...

Camel Toes
Dollar Wells
Yeaga
Ballics
Shockers
Superbad
Jammers
BND

SarahB said...

Camel Toes
TBN
Bombs
Ballics
Shockers
SuperBad
Jammers
BnD

Buchanan said...

I'd Kick That
Beer Nuts
Yeagabombs
Alcoballics
Bullies
Superbad
Toejammers
Pick Me Up

Duc Duc Goose said...

Camel Toes
TBN
Yeagabombs
Al-co-ball-ics
PGB
SuperBad
TJs
BNDs

Maria said...

I'll give Buchanan's picks a whirl this week.

Although Ligers are playing random positions, never mind we still won't win.

Rosey said...

I should probably put it out there on record that I won't be able to make the game tomorrow...

Use your discretion!

Smithkey said...

CT20
dollar dollar wells yall
yeaga
OC
Shockers
SB
TJs
BND

FRANK said...

camel
nuts
yeaga
alco
shock
supa
toe
bnd

Jim said...

Thanks to those for the beers last week (a few randoms off the bar too), undeserved as they were. My picks:

Camel Toes 2.0
Thee Beer Nuts
Yeagabombs
Alcoballics
Shockers
Ligers
Wakashame
Balls N Dolls

YellowBird said...

Well i guess I have to kick things off with some commentary....

Camel Toes -- Well this should be a supremely serious spring shitface-fest when the lowest scoring offenses and two of the worst defenses square off in a battle to avoid playing BnD in round 1 of the tourney. If there isn't a common theme here that centers heavily around alcohol, somebody should fire both captains. If there is, please refrain from sharing too much of it with Paige. We've all seen where that leads.

Dollar Wells -- Damned if you do and damned if you don't is what you get here. Since I've picked Dollar Wells in an attempt to bribe them into playing well, they'll most certainly screw around and lose to TBN in order to prevent me from getting free drinks tonight. Quit hating freedom, you bastards.

YBombs -- Almost as bad as those free drink terrorists, Dollar Wells, has been my win percentage picking the Ybombs. Do you remember when they used to be really good? Me neither. However, I really like them tonight vs Team Fab, who tonight will probably play the kickball equivalent of "a slump-buster". Most guys know what I'm talking about so ask them for clarification if you need it.

Consistent Masturbation -- This was supposed to be our "Old People" theme game until the Alcoballics lost to the Shockers last week. Your consolation prize, a date with Grifter's mouth. Congrats. First off, try to keep Grifter from stopping the game too much. The lights are only on until 9:30. Secondly, keep your rules book handy. I'm sure it will referenced multiple times. Plus look out for dead horses, Ref calls being overruled, Jack's awesome commentary, Beardface's check-raises, anyone who claims today is their birthday, Toolshed shenanigans and Bito lurking in the weeds with a sniper rifle.

Shockers -- With the tourney looming just over the horizon, the Shockers seemed to have found their rhythm. Just in time too. Unless Rollo tasers them tonight, I like them over the Bullies. "The keys to this game are going to be depth, defense and patience." All of which apparently favor the Shockers according to the Gameday crew.

Superrandom -- This is a trap game, but I'm going to lean the other way. I hope there is some kind of theme involved as there should be. Remember when the Superbad female brass was angry over how Ty "randomly" allowed teams to choose their conference, thus eliminating Supa's chances to play some of the fun teams in the Beer & Boobie's Conf? Well, the stars have aligned. Enjoy!

Jammers -- Gingers >>> Daywalker's and bumpits. Did u hear HNiB is getting married? O RLY?????

Best Looking Team -- If you would have told me that BnD would have zero paper forfeits at this point in the season, I would have called you insane. If you would have told me a team with no chant would win the Boobie's Conf, I would have called you a moron. Since BnD has already secured the division title and nobody really seems to care, I'm calling this game pointless.

Grifter said...

****I'll try to keep the commentary short and sweet this week. wouldn't want to hold up the game, er I mean predictions.****

This week’s picks brought to you by Seth Myers, because “Seriously?”

Camel Toes - Moose Knuckles prove that Flo’s team is one of the worst teams ever assembled. I would even venture to say that NKOTB of last season could beat Flo’s misfits.

Thee Beer Nuts – Despite the Fast Fuck (Chris) the Slump Busters aren’t that great of a team. I haven’t seen TBN play this year, but don’t see the Slump Buster’s pulling this one out.

Yeagabombs – Team Fabulous... I will never forget the play… Yeagabombs take them down.

Off Constantly – Alcoballics look to be stiff competition, but OC’s game plan of kicking it to Gorecki will prove too effective. Gorecki starts free-styling in the middle of the third inning to make up for all the balls he drops.

Shockers – I am not sure what I saw last week between PGB and the Slump Busters. After winning the chug-off PGB chose to be the away team, then the game ended on a weird play. Knowledge of the rule book is key. (Just ask Bito and Yella) Shockers take advantage of the aging PGB team.

Superbad – After losing to OC Frank took his team to their secret training facility and has this team in full tournament mode. SB is always good this time of year.

ToeJammers – Will probably find a way to win… whatever. A word of warning to Wakashame players up to kick, after a kick goes foul, their sidelines like to throw the ball back at kickers… Apparently it’s YOUR fault for not watching.

Balls-N-Dolls – Execution at its finest. Even when playing the field with less than 11 this team does not make mistakes. Everyone kicks the ball extremely well, and they are fast enough around the bases and in the outfield to run it up quickly. This isn’t a blow-out, but the outcome is not in doubt.

Extra Special Bonus Prediction – The Beer and Boobies conference lose the first Inter-League mash-up 5-3.

Paige said...

Camel Toes
TBN
Yeaga
Ballics
PGB
Ligers
Jammers
BND

Florian said...

IKT
Wells
Bombs
Ballics
Shockers
Superrandom
Jammers
BnD

Jack said...

Two parts, it's long. (That's what she said)

Mooseknuckle v. IKT - I really want to pick this game correctly as IKT is the only team I haven't missed on this year. Unfortunately, as great as my system ("generally pick them to lose") has worked so far, variation and playing against awful teams like Mooseknuckle tells us that it will occasionally fail in the long run. So I had to consider a few options:

1. Tamper with the results as a referee. Well, I can't do that because OC is throwing down with the Ballics at the same time as this game.

2. Tonya Harding someone. Great idea, but whose leg breaking will actually influence this game one way or another?

3. Pray. I love Jesus, but I doubt he's going to do me any favors in a drunk kickball game, and as much as I'd like to finally win a free beer I'm not cashing in a favor with God for one game in kickball picks.

That leaves me with only one real option: overthinking the pick to the point of incorrectness. So I'm going to say Pants on the Ground is somehow victorious over Mooseknuckle and bookends the official season with wins. And I'm also going to warn people that following the Jack system is a risky undertaking this week.

Dollar Wells v. TBN - I would pick Dollar Wells this game due to a still lingering hangover from a beer olympics, but after winning the beer olympics so many times, do THEE Beer Nuts even get hungover afterwards? You know what does cause hangovers? Dollar wells. TBN neutralizes the fast fuck with loud noises and bright lights and wins the game.

Team Fab v. Yeags - Given their affinity for tight shirts, working out, and tanning, guidos are surprisingly homophobic. And given Yeagabombs' affinity for, well, I guess Jagerbombs, they're guidos. Yeagabombs win out of hate for dudes in pink, but don't be surprised if they're inspired by Team Fab's fashion sense and show up to the playoffs with a little "dazzle" of their own. Because while guidos may try to fight it, they love Fabulous trends.

(Cont'd)

Jack said...

Off Constantly v. Alcoballics - In my seemingly unending quest for Off Constantly respect, I've done a lot of things. I've begged, guaranteed, wagered, insulted, lauded, made jokes, and who knows what else. What I haven't done quite enough of is win games, and if you haven't heard, Toejammers scored 5 unanswered runs against our previously stout defense to cost us a season defining win last week. So look for us to rebound and win* this week, and in doing so gain respect from the league and hatred from the 'Ballics due to our incessant shit-talking (BEARDFACE!) and call-arguing (our entire team). BND, we're coming after your throne. The asshole throne, though, not the league championship one.

Gorecki, prepare a sorrowful rhyme to drop after your loss.

PGB v. Shockers - Who are you, new Shockers, and what happened to the shitty shockers shuffling shamelessly to shittown (I can use alliteration, too, but mine's better becauase I said "shit" twice) that lost to the likes of the Ligers, WAKAshame, and thee beer nuts? I picked you those three weeks, then against you the last two, and you've done the opposite each time. Well, even without a couple players I'm picking the Shockers because everyone knows the best way to beat a bully is a pinky in the ass.

Superbad v. Ligers - This game must be a dream come true for Chandler as president of the Superbad fan club. If Superbad loses it's always because of a random lineup, and once the playoffs come they're going to be the best team ever and Chandler's going to give them all handies under the bleachers and then everyone will call him "Chandy Handjobs" and Souder's heart will be broken. Eventually Chandler will abandon his free-wheeling lifestyle of indescriminately giving out the hammer hands to anyone wearing whatever shade of green it is that Superbad wears, Chouder will reunite, and the Ligers will go on their merry way, but not before Superbad beats them this week. O/U on Paige falls (in-game only): 5.5. I'm going over.

TJs v. Wakashame - I know it hasn't made a lot of posts around here, but the TJs mounted a furious comeback last week to prove that they could, in fact, beat off constantly. Before that, they came back from a 4-run deficit to win a kickball game, which has been a topic of thorough discussion. Why has the constant masturbation since been so underreported? Because no one really wants to hear about it, probably, and even if they did YellowBird only writes about RRR happenings. Regardless, Toejammers win due to their increased forearm strength and afterwards Bito will find official rules of flip cup to dissect after a minor controversy during a game at Macd's.

BND v. PMU - On the surface, this game seems like a bit of a mismatch, and when the best looking team is involved, why go past the surface? BND wins gracefully and moves further down the hate rankings.

Speaking of hate rankings, is there an anti-crystal pitcher award that I'm not aware of? Because that'd be awesome.

Thanks, and have a great day.

*assuming we don't forfeit or have to play with a girl who can barely walk due to injury like last week. If either of those happens, apologies to the OC fan club whose picks relied on us winning, AKA Nate Dawg

Alison said...

Camel Toes 2.0
Thee Beer Nuts
Yeagabombs
Alcoballics
Shockers
SuperBad
ToeJammers
Balls N Dolls

Nate Dawg said...

Not that anyone picked them but Ty just sent out an email saying that Team Fab is forfeiting against Y-Bombs.

Rob said...

Camel Toes
Dollar Wells
Yeagabombs
Alcoballics
Shockers
Superbad
ToeJammers
BND

THE_Dawson said...

2.0
TBN
Bombs
OC
Shockers( I am afraid PB has a case of the Thunder fingers)
Superbad
Jammers
BnD

Griff said...

CT2.0 - Stiffer competition in the A-hole conf. this year...i guess that gives them an advantage?

Dolla - TBN, I went againt my gut and picked you last week...ANNND you let me down. This just in: Narve doesn't care. Sounds like another loss to me. O RLY??

Yeaga - 'bombs: go easy on 'em, will ya? They already forfeit..

Ballics - Tough call here...I'd call this GOW. But I think OC had the wind taken out of their sails last week by a horse, HNiB, and an owl. I guess Dolphins are the only animals getting love in the sunshine state. Leagally.

Shockers - Pinky in the stinky turns Bullies into B*tches...but it'll be a close one....

Supa - Supa has this whole random thing down by now...so I no longer consider it a dissadvantage. And with a banged up 'Chan-string' working against them, the Liger's hope for scoring a single run seems dim.

Soul Glo - The Toejammer brass had to activate Tourney-Mode towards the end of last week's game...haven't heard of them turning it off yet. I'll be packing my injury-prone eagle wings again this week. Sorry Bumpits, but i think we have more daywalkers than you, too.

B&D - Sad that a 1 vs 1 matchup can garner such lack of interest...I know of a Champion from KB Society that could make things interesting against B&D....just sayin...

Chandler said...

mmmm... black jelly beans

Rollo said...

Camel, wells,yeaga, alco, Bullies, Super,toejammers,balls

Nate Dawg said...

Gut punches if you forfeit Jack, gut punches...

Nate Dawg said...

Griff - Breaking news from the Narve Camp on a reaction to your comments..."Dont Care"

Seems like you were correct.

Ryan said...

POG - (Can't believe I really have to make a pick here)
TBN
Yega
Ballics
PGB
Superbad
TJ
BND

RÜBS said...

"ToeJammers – Will probably find a way to win… whatever. A word of warning to Wakashame players up to kick, after a kick goes foul, their sidelines like to throw the ball back at kickers… Apparently it’s YOUR fault for not watching."

If this is talking about the incident where i fired the ball back at your catcher, much like when your team complained about being blocked while rounding second when there was not one Jammer in sight and you were looking for a bail out because your player thought he could out run our terminator, you are wrong.

the ball was not fouled off. dawson was in the box, didnt like the pitching and step out and behind the catcher. your catcher took exception, grabbed the ball and instead of throwing it back to the pitcher so he could throw nine pitches per player like i did, your catcher threw the ball at our bench in frustration. the ball came rocketing at me so i tossed it right back. stop playing the victim. it was a great game and i said that before we pulled out the victory. stop your crying.

if i misread the allegation, i will graciously apologize.

Angie AKA Clam, HJ, ... said...

IKT
TBN
YEAGAS
BALLICS
BULLIES
SUPERBAD
WAKA SHAME
BND

Grifter said...

Rubs... It was a foul ball. Our pitcher did not throw it at your sidelines... What are you talikng about?

YellowBird said...

Remember when the pics didn't have any hate attached?


Me neither.

~Marla~ said...

Camel Toes
Beer Nuts
Yeagabombs
Alcoballics
Shockers
Ligers
WAKAShame
Balls N Dolls

Chandler said...

From Kyle:


“Well, i have to do something to get out of last place and not picking isn't helping.



Mooseknuckles



Beer Nuts - Don't screw this up Nate



Yeaga (and it won't be close)



Ballics



Shockers



Moderately Terrible



Jammers - it's almost tourney time...even sans Rubs, they still win this game...and the women at MacDinton's get a 1 week reprieve as Rubs is up there giving Tiger pointers on how a real player plays



Balls n Dolls - their girls are sooooo hot, just ask them”



Kyle Myers

Jack said...

The ball slipped out of the catchers hand on the throw back to the pitcher. It was anything but rocketed at your bench. I'd say lofted, but that still makes it seem harder than it was thrown. It wasn't malicious at all, and he even gave yall the heads up about it. Why would anyone "rocket" a ball at a crowd and yell "heads up" to warn them?

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that your throw wasn't intended to hit the guy in the head while he was bending over for a beer.

I'm officially done talking about that game other than my awesome homerun and Griff's awesome hurdle and accompanying picture. Speaking of the homerun, thanks for those 7-9 pitches, including 3 foul balls, and missing me by a wide margin, Ruben. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

M. Gorecki said...

5 min till pick are due so this will be quick (thats what brie said)
pants-come on boobies conf make me proud!
tbn-nate didnt pick the ballics which normally infuriates me, but i know he did it for selfish reasons this week (so he wont have to buy beers again) so no 2000n hate from me.
yegas-LOCK OF THE WEEK! anyone wanna bet me? i may have insider trading
ballics- i didnt enjoy last weeks game due to asking for the lineup (seriously rob we're gator pals wheres the trust), balls n strikes being called (rob says its cause the rulebook says to... well the rulebook also allows munting!), and too much arguing. and cause of last weeks loss we now get to play oc and i dont see this one being much different. sigh at least the fun will return next week
shockers- bullies have your lineup ready. oh 2000nhate has shifted on you rob!
superbad- there (i spelled that wrong to irritate chandler) more experienced with the random lineup than ligers
jammers- whod they play last week and did they win?
balls-rubens getting nervous as their (did it again for u chan) approaching jammers undefeated streak

Chandler said...

Seeing visual evidence that the catcher couldn't hit Griff from 2 feet away... it's very believable that he accidentally "tossed" it towards the ToeJammer bench. I'm really glad nobody got hurt.

Unlike that time Nate sent that chick to the hospital and then never even offered her a quickie as reparation.

And much like Grandpa, the blog gets more amusing with age and hate.