Ballics Shockers - and yes, I will attest that those Drunk people only played music when they were up to kick... Booooooo.. But they liked kicking to me, or should I say one "stoner" specifically... OC Supa TBN
Lots of drinks being won/lost tonight I see... people still waiting on the odds to settle down maybe.
Ligers vs Alco-Phallics
The Phallics showed some weakness last week after trash talkin ball/rhyme droppin Gorecki all but guaranteed a win. DALTS are suprisingly decent and beat them by one run. Ligers have been putting up runs this season, although with the bases being fixed possibly this week, their run count could be cut in half. In a clash of the "Ol' Guard" In my choice for game-O-the week, I'm going with the Phallics winning by 1 run in a stiff battle of Red v. Blue.
Shock v DALTS
Shockers have played like ass all season, and are playing against a DALTS team on the up and up. As it seems the writing is on the wall for the Shockers, I cant see Rob and the boys losing 4 in a row. I have to go Shockers although I wouldnt be suprised if DALTS win big.
OC vs. Growlers
In the battle of the new team colors, we have two high flying run scoring teams set to square off tonight. This game could be a doozy. OC playing for first place, and Growlers looking to prove their playoff win wasnt a fluke. Tempers could flare in this one. I have to go OC.
Supa vs. Pin Chasers
I reffed the Chasers last week, and they popped up 9/10 kicks. If this is the case this week, they could be in for a long night. While our Offense isnt the best, our defense will win this game. Hopefully I do not get kicked out. Supa wins
TBN vs PBC
The morale is low on PBC and the team chemistry on their team is horrible. That being said, this game could be close. After TBN got their shit kicked in 0-9 last week, they will pull out some drunk supa human strenf and send PBC to the bottom of the standings.
Chan, why dont you lead by example and put up some comments of your own.
Ligers vs. Alcoballics: The Ligers come in as the Cinderella of the league. The Ballics come in on the heels of yet another wedding. Citing an anemic offensive showing last week, an undisclosed injury, a captain that can't spell in his emails and a vastly improved Liger team, I will pick against my team as this usually leads to me winning money (see conference tourney bracket last season)...Ligers win it 3-2 on fielding/throwing errors from the Ballics and the speed of Chan Chan. Go thin for the win.
DAaLtS vs. Shockers: DAaLtS...because the Shockers really are that bad.
OC vs. Growlers: The Growlers are the better team. OC is playing like the better team. On paper, the Growlers win and OC gets drunk. Unfortunately, we don't play these games on paper, we play them on crooked fields in the middle of the ghetto. I should pick the OC, but I'm going with the Growlers as the OC has turned it's thoughts to spring training, cowbells and vuvuzelas in the Trop.
Superbad vs. Bunt Chasers: Even if Super pulled the disappearing act they had against our team 2 weeks ago, they would still win this game. Anyone know what the mercy rule is in this league? We might need to enact it after the 2nd inning.
TBN vs. PBC - acronyms suck and so does PBC...TBN still has some sort of a win every week this season. It just so happens that they were more excited about winning Beer Olympics than they were about kickball last week. TBN gets the W.
"Commentary Jack" has excused me in previous weeks due to my Power Ranking write-up. However... "Field Marshal Frank" demands I participate. I can't argue with that, especially since his quips were quite good this week. Kyle gave me the giggles as well.
Ligers vs. Ball Licks - I pick against my team every week. I'm a natural pessimist, so I see it as a win-win. Either I'm one step closer to winning drinks, or I'm buying drinks celebrating a kickball win. In fact, it seems I win a lot. I got Liger blood flowing through my veins. I got Hermes DNA. When people fuck with me, I send Fire Breathing Emails. Ball Licks win.
Shockers vs. DAaLts - Rob is going to get the entire league to abuse the lack of position swapping rule. Girls already only make about one defensive play per game per team... and now they'll never even get on base. Soon, kickball will collapse into a weekly dude fest where we circle jerk outside on an open field. The horror. The horror. Shockers finally win a game, and DAaLts throws more hats/visors.
Jerk Offs vs. Vaginas - I don't bet against Vagina. It controls all around you.
Superbad vs. Bunt Chasers - "Obvious Kickball Advice that the Bunt Chasers Ignore" of the week: score runs. Superbad wins.
Nuts vs. Pitches - I love TBN, and am quite fond of everyone associated with them. But other than Nate, Fast Fucker and Charlie's girlfriend... they leave a lot to be desired kickball wise. Daywalkers get their first victory.
First, I'd like to wish our Bulgarian readers a happy Liberation Day. Just think, on this day some 143 years ago, you finally escaped from Ottoman rule and managed to control your land, presumably without any pieces of furniture on which to prop up your legs. On to the picks!
Ballics v. Ligers
I'm a little suspicious of this game because I saw Gorecki and Chandler hanging out together at the baseball game Tuesday night. I thought maybe they were planning some sort of run shaving venture in order to win a bunch of beers. Then I realized that it was Tuesday, and they were just carpooling from the Tall and Extrordinarily Scrawny Men's Club, which is rumored to only allow entry to men taller than 6'1" and weighing less than 120 lbs. I'm still waiting for my invitation... So assuming that everything is above board, I'm taking the Ball Licks to end the Ligers winning streak. Extra hate for Jack today!
I'd Shock That v. Shockers
When are we going to officially rename DAaLtS? I'm sticking with I'd Shock That until someone takes a stand here. Anyway, several members of IST get to face their old team this week, and that's always a recipe for good times. Speaking of good time recipes, rumor has it that Smithkey will be preparing the pre-game meal for the Shockers using his new favorite cookbook. I'll take the Shockers to get their first win of the season thanks to a jizz-powered offense.
****GAME OF THE WEEK****
Off Constantly v Growlers
This matchup pits everyone's favorite team, the OC, against a bunch of pussies, Vaginas. Robes is the only pitcher in the league that I hate facing, but I'm sticking with the good guys to win this one with the stout defense that returned last week. On offense, we plan on penetrating the Growlers defense with repeated hard liners and when they start to come in, we'll kick the balls deep and really blow them away. The OC will tear apart the Growlers tonight to continue their march towards the regular season title.
Superbad v. Bunt Chasers
The Bunt Chasers are so bad that a team comprised only of McLovin, the fat kid, the kid from Arrested Development, and the sassy redhead could beat them. The kickball team Superbad will surely smoke the Pin Chasers (I kind of like that nickname), and Frank will be especially cool and funny because he's going to bring his smartphone which will allow him to communicate solely via the Shoutbox and the comments section. He will also improve the feng shui at Yard of Ale using MSPaint.
Pitches Ain't Shit v TBN
Pitches Ain't Shit now sit at 0-3 after losing to Superbad last week. Really, they shouldn't be too disappointed to be where they are. They've lost two games to two teams expected to contend for the title preseason, and a surprisingly good and even more surprisingly undefeated Ligers squad. Maybe they just need to go back to the bumpits like when Charlie Sheen went back to his oddly coifed hair to succeed in Major League 2? Perhaps they just need a teamwide infusion of tiger blood? While I'm not sure on how they'll do it just yet, I'm picking PbC to "upset" a reeling TBN this week. Oh, and short, marathon-running nole fans are bitches. How's that for commentary, Nate? Please don't spit in the beer that you still owe me.
Ligers- Cause i'm captain Drunk- Cause I'm not OC- Cause "growlers" is a terrible name Super- Cause I married one Pitches- I did eeny meeny miny mo for this one.
Gorechate Checking In. I'm treating this week like festivus cause we lost last week so I need to begin with the airing of grievances. "I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Now on to the picks before I lose my train of thought.. (cause that'd be a shame)
Ballics- Ah the game of the week. Its time to see who this Liger team really is. Chandler forgot to send out an email to his team of the decided theme game, claiming "did we really decide on that last week as a theme?" He will display this same type of confusion this week when he faces a real defense. That and I bought him beer and food at the baseball game so he owes me. But then Jack came out of nowhere and stole chandlers food like a school bully demanding his lunchmoney. Fat Fuck.
Dalts- I gotta pick them here and ask them to win out so our loss to them doesnt look so pathetic. And I nominated your fistbaseman to the members of the academy cause his "acting" (like he caught a ball that clearly hit the ground) has gotta be up for an Oscar.
OC- Ya Jack, you did see Me and Chan hanging out. Other teams can socialize together you know. Just cause you and Crum have this bro love fest together maybe try and reach out. And perhaps then youll get more than the usual 3 hits to your blog.
Superbad- Frank's ego is getting to him as he thinks he's god after seeing the sucess of the new field layout last week. Even Sandra told me NOT to compliment this idea of his as she'll never hear the end of it. God Frank, what else is Sandra forced to compliment so it makes you feel like a "bigger" man?
Pitches- Nate has nothing to live for anymore as their team has been exposed and he prevented yet AGAIN a visit to THEE Dollhouse. And why are you telling me to suck it? Dawn having trouble finding it?
Told ya I was bringing it this week. Damn losses get me fired up!
I do remember u buying me that beer now but then didnt u take half of it and dump it into that 14yr olds cup? better practice your response now for the judge "I don't recall".
20 comments:
Lets see if I can keep my streak of either buying or winning drinks every week...
Ligers - Suck it Gorecki...
Drunk Again
O.C.
Superbad
TBN
Blow me Jack...hows that for commentary?
Ballics
Shockers - and yes, I will attest that those Drunk people only played music when they were up to kick... Booooooo.. But they liked kicking to me, or should I say one "stoner" specifically...
OC
Supa
TBN
Ballic
Drunk Again
Growlers
BC
Pitches
I didn't buy drinks last week so I figured I'd make up for it this week
Lots of drinks being won/lost tonight I see... people still waiting on the odds to settle down maybe.
Ligers vs Alco-Phallics
The Phallics showed some weakness last week after trash talkin ball/rhyme droppin Gorecki all but guaranteed a win. DALTS are suprisingly decent and beat them by one run. Ligers have been putting up runs this season, although with the bases being fixed possibly this week, their run count could be cut in half. In a clash of the "Ol' Guard" In my choice for game-O-the week, I'm going with the Phallics winning by 1 run in a stiff battle of Red v. Blue.
Shock v DALTS
Shockers have played like ass all season, and are playing against a DALTS team on the up and up. As it seems the writing is on the wall for the Shockers, I cant see Rob and the boys losing 4 in a row. I have to go Shockers although I wouldnt be suprised if DALTS win big.
OC vs. Growlers
In the battle of the new team colors, we have two high flying run scoring teams set to square off tonight. This game could be a doozy. OC playing for first place, and Growlers looking to prove their playoff win wasnt a fluke. Tempers could flare in this one. I have to go OC.
Supa vs. Pin Chasers
I reffed the Chasers last week, and they popped up 9/10 kicks. If this is the case this week, they could be in for a long night. While our Offense isnt the best, our defense will win this game. Hopefully I do not get kicked out. Supa wins
TBN vs PBC
The morale is low on PBC and the team chemistry on their team is horrible. That being said, this game could be close. After TBN got their shit kicked in 0-9 last week, they will pull out some drunk supa human strenf and send PBC to the bottom of the standings.
Chan, why dont you lead by example and put up some comments of your own.
Ligers vs. Alcoballics: The Ligers come in as the Cinderella of the league. The Ballics come in on the heels of yet another wedding. Citing an anemic offensive showing last week, an undisclosed injury, a captain that can't spell in his emails and a vastly improved Liger team, I will pick against my team as this usually leads to me winning money (see conference tourney bracket last season)...Ligers win it 3-2 on fielding/throwing errors from the Ballics and the speed of Chan Chan. Go thin for the win.
DAaLtS vs. Shockers: DAaLtS...because the Shockers really are that bad.
OC vs. Growlers:
The Growlers are the better team. OC is playing like the better team. On paper, the Growlers win and OC gets drunk. Unfortunately, we don't play these games on paper, we play them on crooked fields in the middle of the ghetto. I should pick the OC, but I'm going with the Growlers as the OC has turned it's thoughts to spring training, cowbells and vuvuzelas in the Trop.
Superbad vs. Bunt Chasers: Even if Super pulled the disappearing act they had against our team 2 weeks ago, they would still win this game. Anyone know what the mercy rule is in this league? We might need to enact it after the 2nd inning.
TBN vs. PBC - acronyms suck and so does PBC...TBN still has some sort of a win every week this season. It just so happens that they were more excited about winning Beer Olympics than they were about kickball last week. TBN gets the W.
"Commentary Jack" has excused me in previous weeks due to my Power Ranking write-up. However... "Field Marshal Frank" demands I participate. I can't argue with that, especially since his quips were quite good this week. Kyle gave me the giggles as well.
Ligers vs. Ball Licks - I pick against my team every week. I'm a natural pessimist, so I see it as a win-win. Either I'm one step closer to winning drinks, or I'm buying drinks celebrating a kickball win. In fact, it seems I win a lot. I got Liger blood flowing through my veins. I got Hermes DNA. When people fuck with me, I send Fire Breathing Emails. Ball Licks win.
Shockers vs. DAaLts - Rob is going to get the entire league to abuse the lack of position swapping rule. Girls already only make about one defensive play per game per team... and now they'll never even get on base. Soon, kickball will collapse into a weekly dude fest where we circle jerk outside on an open field. The horror. The horror. Shockers finally win a game, and DAaLts throws more hats/visors.
Jerk Offs vs. Vaginas - I don't bet against Vagina. It controls all around you.
Superbad vs. Bunt Chasers - "Obvious Kickball Advice that the Bunt Chasers Ignore" of the week: score runs. Superbad wins.
Nuts vs. Pitches - I love TBN, and am quite fond of everyone associated with them. But other than Nate, Fast Fucker and Charlie's girlfriend... they leave a lot to be desired kickball wise. Daywalkers get their first victory.
First, I'd like to wish our Bulgarian readers a happy Liberation Day. Just think, on this day some 143 years ago, you finally escaped from Ottoman rule and managed to control your land, presumably without any pieces of furniture on which to prop up your legs. On to the picks!
Ballics v. Ligers
I'm a little suspicious of this game because I saw Gorecki and Chandler hanging out together at the baseball game Tuesday night. I thought maybe they were planning some sort of run shaving venture in order to win a bunch of beers. Then I realized that it was Tuesday, and they were just carpooling from the Tall and Extrordinarily Scrawny Men's Club, which is rumored to only allow entry to men taller than 6'1" and weighing less than 120 lbs. I'm still waiting for my invitation... So assuming that everything is above board, I'm taking the Ball Licks to end the Ligers winning streak. Extra hate for Jack today!
I'd Shock That v. Shockers
When are we going to officially rename DAaLtS? I'm sticking with I'd Shock That until someone takes a stand here. Anyway, several members of IST get to face their old team this week, and that's always a recipe for good times. Speaking of good time recipes, rumor has it that Smithkey will be preparing the pre-game meal for the Shockers using his new favorite cookbook. I'll take the Shockers to get their first win of the season thanks to a jizz-powered offense.
****GAME OF THE WEEK****
Off Constantly v Growlers
This matchup pits everyone's favorite team, the OC, against a bunch of pussies, Vaginas. Robes is the only pitcher in the league that I hate facing, but I'm sticking with the good guys to win this one with the stout defense that returned last week. On offense, we plan on penetrating the Growlers defense with repeated hard liners and when they start to come in, we'll kick the balls deep and really blow them away. The OC will tear apart the Growlers tonight to continue their march towards the regular season title.
Superbad v. Bunt Chasers
The Bunt Chasers are so bad that a team comprised only of McLovin, the fat kid, the kid from Arrested Development, and the sassy redhead could beat them. The kickball team Superbad will surely smoke the Pin Chasers (I kind of like that nickname), and Frank will be especially cool and funny because he's going to bring his smartphone which will allow him to communicate solely via the Shoutbox and the comments section. He will also improve the feng shui at Yard of Ale using MSPaint.
Pitches Ain't Shit v TBN
Pitches Ain't Shit now sit at 0-3 after losing to Superbad last week. Really, they shouldn't be too disappointed to be where they are. They've lost two games to two teams expected to contend for the title preseason, and a surprisingly good and even more surprisingly undefeated Ligers squad. Maybe they just need to go back to the bumpits like when Charlie Sheen went back to his oddly coifed hair to succeed in Major League 2? Perhaps they just need a teamwide infusion of tiger blood? While I'm not sure on how they'll do it just yet, I'm picking PbC to "upset" a reeling TBN this week. Oh, and short, marathon-running nole fans are bitches. How's that for commentary, Nate? Please don't spit in the beer that you still owe me.
That's 4 good sets of picks with commentary. Much better, DPT. Everyone's cooler than Nate, btw.
Very Nice. Our next theme game I will dress up as a shout box.
Ligers- Cause i'm captain
Drunk- Cause I'm not
OC- Cause "growlers" is a terrible name
Super- Cause I married one
Pitches- I did eeny meeny miny mo for this one.
Ligers
Drunk
OC
Supa
PBC
Paiges Picks/Commentary:
l
d
o
s
p
Gorechate Checking In. I'm treating this week like festivus cause we lost last week so I need to begin with the airing of grievances. "I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Now on to the picks before I lose my train of thought.. (cause that'd be a shame)
Ballics- Ah the game of the week. Its time to see who this Liger team really is. Chandler forgot to send out an email to his team of the decided theme game, claiming "did we really decide on that last week as a theme?" He will display this same type of confusion this week when he faces a real defense. That and I bought him beer and food at the baseball game so he owes me. But then Jack came out of nowhere and stole chandlers food like a school bully demanding his lunchmoney. Fat Fuck.
Dalts- I gotta pick them here and ask them to win out so our loss to them doesnt look so pathetic. And I nominated your fistbaseman to the members of the academy cause his "acting" (like he caught a ball that clearly hit the ground) has gotta be up for an Oscar.
OC- Ya Jack, you did see Me and Chan hanging out. Other teams can socialize together you know. Just cause you and Crum have this bro love fest together maybe try and reach out. And perhaps then youll get more than the usual 3 hits to your blog.
Superbad- Frank's ego is getting to him as he thinks he's god after seeing the sucess of the new field layout last week. Even Sandra told me NOT to compliment this idea of his as she'll never hear the end of it. God Frank, what else is Sandra forced to compliment so it makes you feel like a "bigger" man?
Pitches- Nate has nothing to live for anymore as their team has been exposed and he prevented yet AGAIN a visit to THEE Dollhouse. And why are you telling me to suck it? Dawn having trouble finding it?
HATE HATE HATE!!!
zing!
l-landshark
d-david copperfield
o-oyster
s-snerd nurgling
p-pirate's treasure
Damn that hate is thick. I think you made Silky Johnson blush. Playa Hater of the Year Nominee - M. Gorecki (Morecki).
And I did buy you a beer at the ball game... just not food.
Told ya I was bringing it this week. Damn losses get me fired up!
I do remember u buying me that beer now but then didnt u take half of it and dump it into that 14yr olds cup? better practice your response now for the judge "I don't recall".
Uhh.. she told me she was 21... I uhh... thought at least 18... but what am I supposed to do? Check ID? I'm no bouncer, Your Honor.
Get the hate Gorech-hate!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Ahhhh I wuv my 6'3+ under 120lb cap'itan.... :)
my picks:
tie
tie
tie
tie
tie
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