Monday, October 17, 2011

What??????

When we began our Crystal Pitcher journey we were told to NOT DREAM the impossible dream. We heard that only 3 or 4 teams were truly eligible and the elite would not accept us. We thought our strategy of hot women, buying affection with an aggressive bar tab and generally not being douchebags would work. Unfortunately our dream has been raped. We don't mind losing to the Ligers, because they were two of our best games. Instead of taking the high road, we'd like to take this opportunity to piss and moan.

A few of our own fun facts/observations:

Shockers are dicks......we rolled into our game with them in full Octoberfest/Gay Leprechaun attire and took shots with the only player on their team allowed to talk to outsiders. We didn't even lose it on a controversial play that cost us the game in the last inning. We still like Rob and have a crush on the hot catcher, but we didn't even warrant a single vote from your team????

SuperBad is on probation.....Seiler and half our team was there cheering you on when you won. Sure it was because they were too drunk to leave, but they still showed support. We've had your back on the field and at the bar and quite frankly we are hurt, dicks.

ALCOBALLICS.....1, 2, bite me.

Katherine plays for PHDivas. Can anyone else name someone from that team? Exactly. We also got support from IHT, although they are a little clingy and drunk text us late at night. FYI...we know you would hit that, but we just want to be friends. While some teams are circle-jerking with each other, we're at least reaching out to the new teams. We're giving up on YOA and starting a new book club with the PHDivas.

We should get more credit for our Community Outreach program. Even though it cost us games we were the only team that would allow JD, Jepsen and Caruso to play. You should see their happy, simple faces light up while they are dry-humping the damn ball around the field.

On behalf of the Pitches, congratulations Ligers......the rest of the league can kiss our ass!

18 comments:

Florian said...

I voted for pbc but I'm sure the Ligers are worthy of the title even though they still let that a-hole Chandler play on their team.

Chandler said...

Ligers <3 PBC

MuffDaddy said...

Were officially changing our name next season to "Liggers be crazy" to show our added support of Pitches

MuffDaddy said...

...And to anger the NAACP

Chris said...

This post is so full of awesome. I was all for conceeding the prize or sharing the win. But now that this post exists, I'm glad we won. Even though we didn't deserve it. Like chandler said, Liggers <3 PBC

Smithkey said...

Did the Ligers just pretend to <3 PBC and support them for Crystal Pitcher while really trying to gain votes by playing the "nice guy" card? Hmmm......

Litman said...

The Crystal Pitcher voting reminds me of the show Big Brother.

Chandler said...

So... who wants to come see the Liger's HoH Room?!?!?



I'm sad I know what that is.

Nate Dawg said...

I voted for the Ligers sorry Deeks..

YellowBird said...

I did cast the single Jammer vote for PBC, Deeks, but I'll still kiss your sweet (but very sweaty) ass cheeks.

Smithkey said...

The Ligers are the new HoH while the Growlers are on slop.

Justin "G" said...

Hanging Chandler's? How come we didn't get any black team votes and the Liger's did? My Ligger's theme all year. Something is definitely up!!

M. Gorecki said...

Am I to consider this post PBC's concession speech?

Sorry Deeks but I wasnt at the tourney. I need to inform GKB to start accepting absentee ballots!

Although a big "right back at ya" to the "bite me" comment as I notice we received no votes from PBC. Hmm maybe I need to buy your team a tray o beers next time?

Looks like the reason for the Liger win was the mass team votes from Shockers and Growlers. Did you consider these "lost states" and just conceded the electoral votes and focused more on the swing states err teams?

Anyways, one hell of a run. Never too early to start campaigning again! Where we drinking?

Geoff said...

Haha... Love it! Great write up.

JD said...

We never played the Growlers, so didn't have a chance to bribe them. No reason for the Shockers to dick us over. We focused on the whole damn league and made sure we bought at least a round for every team....except for the Divas.

As much as this rejection hurts me, Justin is not taking this well at all. You all should look Justin in the eye and explain to him why he can't get accepted into your little club. You bastards!

Chandler said...

When you ask Justin that question, be sure to also ask what happened on #18 yesterday...

Justin "G" said...

Chandler = Dick! Ligers = Cheaters! :)

Rob said...

Todd's Shocker outfit stole our votes at the tournament