Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Can't get enough

I just can't stop reading Texts From Last Night. This is a comedic goldmine.

(850): I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

&

(419): Want to have sex later?
(614): This feels like a trap

14 comments:

Griff said...

(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

Griff said...

(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

Griff said...

damn ur right...this IS addicting...

(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.

Griff said...

(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

Ryan said...

(415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

Ryan said...

(425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
(206): sorry mom...

Ryan said...

"(216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. "

Alicia said...

"so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class."

Jared said...

(312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

Ryan said...

(201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

SarahB said...

(330): "First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down"

Ryan said...

(703): I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

Maria said...

(847): This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
(847): And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month

WOW! funny.

E-FLO said...

(541): Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.