Thursday, January 21, 2010

DPT Endorsements

Another kickball season is right around the corner. This means elections (or as Duc says: "erections") will be held at the captains meeting.  Below are DPT's official endorsements:

President - Brie


Brie has a wealth of experience and leadership in the Bayshore Division having served on the board one entire season.  While that might not seem like a lot of experience, consider this: every day she's forced to babysit Mike "Hand Towel" Gorecki. This makes her perfectly qualified to handle the drama of our league. Her campaign platform includes: increased league participation, buffalo dip, creative fund-raising, better communication and more Ruben vs. female fighting. Plus, if you don't vote for her she might ban you from the hot tub.

Vice-President - Knowlton (write-in candidate)


That's right... Davie McKnowlty still lives inside all of us. DPT wants to re-live the epic VP battle of Summer 2008 when Knowlty defeated Flo in a chug-off for the position. Historians will remember that Knowlty 1) didn't even want the job and 2) didn't do anything once the position was his. He was just being true to himself by squashing Flo's dreams in an Instant Classic. This makes him the best choice for the over-rated "Vice President" position (there is no difference between a board member and VP. I'm not even sure why this title exists).

Sheriff - Nate

As if there is another choice. Pound for pound, Nate is the best Sheriff in the country. He always shows up on time, he never misses a game, and his 5'1" stature makes him perfect for setting up the fields (60 feet per side = 60 Nate strides). Don't settle on anyone else for this position. Our league deserves the best!

Secretary of Balls - Alison

DPT has just learned this new position will be created for the upcoming season. The job requires excellent ball management, as well as vast knowledge of ball inflation to bounciness ratios. You can't have kickball without balls. Alison is the most qualified candidate.

Finally, don't forget to sign the petition to have the Flonettes change their name to "Pants on the Ground." One comment/signature per person. I'm not sure why their management isn't jumping all over a fresh, funny name that comes with a team chant.

18 comments:

Florian said...

Well the VP would take over as President if the current President got kicked out of the league for fighting or was run over by a bear on a tricycle.

M. Gorecki said...

I second all nominations. And Brie is so good at handling my drama that all KB'ers should feel welcomed to go to her at any time and pour out what's bothering you.

Hello Kimmy said...

In response to Mike's comment "all KB'ers should feel welcomed to go to her at any time and pour out what's bothering you."

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

But yes, Brie would make an awesome President!

Chandler said...

why would "she" say that? when does semen bother people?

bull said...

I question Alison's candidacy for Secretary of Balls. What are her qualifications?? Does she hold any advance certifications in Ball Management or Ball Bounciness?? Hell, is she even American?!?! Inquiring minds what to know!!!

Nate Dawg said...

I hate to break any hearts but I will not be the league's Sheriff. I have retired from the position. Thanks for the vote of confidence though. Thanks DPT!

YellowBird said...

Wasn't Nate re-elected one time when he didnt even show at the captain's meeting?

Nate Dawg said...

Yep. I'll be there (most likely) and I wont except the position...

Chandler said...

ok... so you wont except the position. but will you accept the position????

Chris said...

Will your grammar policing affect his decision? What will be the effect?

~Marla~ said...

Yep, Flo is right. VP takes over if President gets kicked out.

I had to take over when Knowlton was kicked out a couple seasons ago. But I'd say that's not something Brie would have to worry about...

Nate Dawg said...

When I was President 2 seasons ago Brooke was my VP and she did most of the work along with the board. As I learned from my mentor Knowlty-Poo the position of President is all about delegation. So I believe I was an excellent President. That being said I think Brie would be a great VP canidate, I dont see her delegating many duties...

Chandler said...

nice insight there, sheriff...

Brie said...

Nate, don't be so bitter just because you can't reach the bottom of our hot tub. It's not my fault they made it 6 feet deep. I thought you were over that!

Chandler said...

Sunday Sunday Sunday! Presidential Candidate vs. Bayshore Sheriff! In a pool of jello! Be there!

Nate Dawg said...

Brie I was giving you a compliment, b/c you get sh1t done but lets do the jello wrestling lol.
PS never been in your hot tub but your prob right on me not being able to touch the bottom.

Brie said...

Ok - it's on! I might be small, but I'm tough ;)

Angie AKA Clam, HJ, ... said...

Brie + Angie = Brangie for Pres and VP!!! Just saying!