DPT BQBL Week 7 Recap

"You people" need to have some more interesting things to blog about.

In the meantime... record setting weekend. More points were left on the bench (398) then were started (310)!

Gorecki vs. Souder
Gorecki couldn't bring himself to start his man-crush Brantly Tebow. And that looked like a huge mistake for most of the game. But then Jesus did Jesus things... like giving motivational speeches to prisoners, donating his time to the homeless, and circumcising impoverished kids. In fact, during the 4th quarter, Tebow H. Christ had just started to squeeze the foreskin scissors on his last patient: Litman. Unfortunately he realized there was only about 2 minutes left in the game, so he had to stop mid-cut to go embarrass the shit out of the Dolphins. Eighteen un-answered points later, Denver had a victory... Gorecki had an orgasm... and Litman had a hybrid. None of this has anything to do with the Gorecki/Souder match-up. All you need to know about that is "AJ Feeley," and his first start since 2007. Nate can fill you in on the rest. It also doesn't help that Souder left the Colts (with 97 points) on the bench. Final score: Gorecki wins 39 - 0.

Litman vs. Kyle
Matt Cassel played valiantly (shitty) for Kyle, doing his best to become a 2nd string QB. Meanwhile, my boy Charlie Whitehurst did his best to make me look like an idiot... by failing to reach 100 yards passing. With the Ravens unexpectedly stinking up Kyle's bench, the outcome was never in question. Final score: Litman wins 62 - 46.

Chandler vs. DNN
Mark Sanchez continues to be the bane of my existence, throwing 3 touchdowns and killing my team once again. Nate was forced to start the Bucs and Cards due to byes, and was quickly rewarded with Kolb taking a safety (like an idiot) and Freeman doing what Freeman-Lovers refuse to acknowledge that he does (suck ass). The Bucs have gone to England twice, and were beat down twice. Is the NFL trying to LOWER interest in the game across the pond? Please... just leave our Bucs alone and allow them to suck in peace. Final score: Nate wins 71 - 19.

Bito vs. Smithkey
This was a battle of two bench-riding titans (somewhat literally)! In fact, I'm not even going to talk about the starting teams. Bito told the actual Titans to sit the fuck down. The Titans told Bito that he doesn't know much about real football or pansy European football, and proceeded to do their best Man U vs. Man City impression. Hasselbeck eventually got benched in the 4th quarter following a pick six, and finished with 92 wasted points. It appeared Smithkey was going to be destroyed in the Bench Bowl. But for some unknown reason, he didn't feel like using the Raiders who had just signed an aging Carson Palmer... and were threatening to start him on 3 days practice. WTF? Oakland eventually went with Kyle Boller, but his 3 picks (one for six) led to a benching. Rusty-ass Palmer prances into the game and throws three more interceptions (one for six). Terrelle Pryor is on the sideline looking nervous. What a mess. 178 BQBL points wasted! Final actual score: Smithkey wins 58 - 15.