Friday, May 22, 2009

Red Rockets Blast Off and Give Whiskey Sours a Facial With 10-2 Win!

The Red Rockets "exploded" all over the faces of the Whiskey Sours and all over the fields this past Wednesday for the opening of the brand new Kickball Society. It was a long, hard, explosive, red rocketing good time full of beer, ass slapping, jello shots and more ass slapping.

Everyone picked their own pre-game ritual to get ready. Most of the Rockets pounded beers and socialized. Some were way more intense. NateDogg practiced his oral sex skills on a jello shot and Chris Gomez was so excited about his debut that he repeatedly punched himself in the nose to get ready -- as seen in this photo on the right. Now that's dedication to his team. We can all take a page out of his book!

























The Rockets showed up pumped for their debut and did not disappoint to the tune of a 10-2 Whiskey Sour butt ramming that would make even Knowlton proud. So proud that this reporter even contacted him by phone and got the following comment, "Red Rockets?? What the fuck is a Red Rocket?! Leave me alone, Fucker!!"

The action started early on in the top of the first when Nate "NateDogg" Leighton and Ali "Dookie" Deese got on safely and we're driven in by a tape measure shot 3-run homer by John "Griff" Griffin. Before the Whiskey Sours could even blink or grab their ankles, they had been violated and we're screaming in pain looking for a "happy place," a wash rag, a hand towel, an explanation or all of the above. That would set the tone for the evening as the Sours would be ravaged several times again. The final "load" came in the 3rd inning via a 2nd 3-run homer by Griff that all but had the Sours in the fetal position, wishing the Rockets would just "get it over with" so they could take a shower and ice down their asses.

The Rockets were without the services of Ruben "Rubs" Kajkowski, who will make his debut next week. In his absence, Duc "Duck" Truong pitched 4 solid innings, giving up only 2 runs for the win and Jeanette pitched a colorful 1,2,3 5th to finish the game. Next week's opponent has not yet been announced, but does it really matter? The Rockets will be revved up, turned on and looking for action.

Just how high can these Red Rockets burst into the air? Who knows? One thing is for sure though, the sky is the limit and the rest of the league better stock up on some cherry flavored Anal Eaze. If they're curious where they can buy some, they should check CVS, the Todd, Chandler's mouth or Rollo's bathroom.

16 comments:

Alicia said...

LMAO...nice recap!

Chandler said...

hahaha. awesome recap. good job kids.

Griff said...

LOL...Hess and Chandler..the 2 best recap writers...LOL...so wait, did I win the "Rocket-Man-Of-The-Week" award??

Geoff said...

Congrats on the win... Can we recruit Griff for our WAKA team next season?

Chandler said...

instead of playing "Thunderstruck"... you guys should totally play "Rocket Man".

just drink every time Elton John is gay.

SarahB said...

oooooohhhhh ur gonna be in big trouble Yella...lol...great recap though, as always!

YellowBird said...

Geoff -- He's already signed through 2013 w/ the ToeJammers, had to use the franchise tag on him

Honeybuns -- Good idea. BTW, Motel 6 in 30 min for our "lunch break" as usual, same room.

SarahB -- Thx for the compliments, I should probably post it on her blog as well to avoid a lashing. Whats the url?

Chris said...

I thought the whole point of you doing this was to get yourself a lashing.

SarahB said...

http://ourbayshorekb.blogspot.com/

Alicia said...

We do need a theme song....something upbeat. Anyone have ideas? Rocket Man, Major Tom, Boom Boom.....

Chandler said...

"She packed my bags last night pre-flight

Zero hour nine a.m.

And I'm gonna be hiiiiiiiiigh as a kite by then..."

-Gomez

YellowBird said...

I'm only into the pain thing if it's Honeybuns dressed up as a dominatrix.

MJ said...

Good post Redbird (yes, you will be Redbird for about 6 more weeks)

Other highlights -

Cathy's slide into second would have broke another leg via Nate Dogg style.

Brooke's glasses

Maria's intentions to 'not play' while playing RF.

-Oh and for Rocket Man, we got it. It was supposed to make it's debut in Week 1 but someone had a trunk full of JL Audio Subwoofers and MB Quart tweeters...

MJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SarahB said...

The song in the beginning of the video is a good one too...i swear i heard something about red rockets

Chandler said...

lol