That cool, refreshing air you felt last night was actually emanating from the body cavities on Field D at 7pm. Sometimes your soul needs a cleansing. We find that a flow of medicated solution works best.Here's how it went down:
With zero outs and a 1-1 game in the bottom of the 2nd, Bayshore President Christopher somehow managed to get on base with a nice line drive to left-center field. Liger Andy is up next, and kicks a high floater between first and second forcing Christopher to tag up. This normally wouldn't have been a big deal... but that kick went directly to Big-Tuesday-Thursday Tony.
Tony gracefully swats the ball to the ground... tags out Christopher... then steps on first base. BAM! Two outs. God and Asshole Catcher each kill one kitten.
The play which Tony executed flawlessly is also known as the "In-field Fly Play." It's controversial because unlike in baseball, there is no in-field fly rule. And there really can't be since kickballs tend to bounce everywhere and errors happen all the time. But when a player purposefully drops a ball to get two outs... you start venturing into "Founder's Cup territory."
A few seasons ago we discussed the idea of a "Douche Rule" due to the fear of becoming a Founder's Cup league. Each team would carry a red flag (just like in the NFL), and would throw it during any morally questionable play fit for Kanye West. After a long debate at the Captains Meeting, Tyrus "swine-flu" Gordon ruled that such a policy wasn't really enforceable, since douchiness is an opinion at best. He might have been right, but he still proceeded to drag the remainder of the meeting on for 2+ hours resulting in 8 Douche Flags being thrown at him.
Anyway... back to the game...
The Ligers were helpless and knew they couldn't argue an in-field fly. The balance of our social league hung squarely on the management of Your Mom. Alas, they remained quiet under the blanket of "Tony being Tony." Fair enough, said the Ligers. We don't get mad, we get even.
The very next inning Alicia kicks a perfect bunt towards third base and sprints for a single. With no outs, His Name is Bito comes to the plate looking for some RBI action. Having already kicked, I knew he was going to try to punch it down the first base line. And then it dawned on me... no outs... runner on first... dude up... hmm? So I look over at Bull on the sidelines and say "Hey! If he kicks it to me can I dial up the Douche Play?" "Fuck yes!" was his response.
On cue, His Name is Bito kicks a line drive to first... and I completely fuck it up. Instead of knocking it down with my hands, I went for the more melodramatic chest bump. This unfortunately caused me to kick it out of my reach and I could only get HNiB out at first. But while Alicia (God bless her soul) reached second base safely, someone on the Ligers said something to the extent of: "hey you gotta go back to first." With her unassuming and trusting nature, she begins to walk back. BAM! Christopher pegs her. Two outs. All the guys on BnD got instant erections.
A tiny bit of us died that night. I felt really bad for Yellabird who was reffing second... and was forced to honor our cheap retaliation. And for the first time in the new-Liger era, we refused to give out a Game Ball (kind of a subtle tribute to those who founded our league on fun... and not the bullshit that we rolled around in.) But I will say I giggled on the inside when some of the players on Your Mom yelled things like "Are you seriously going to get her out like that? What about the spirit of kickball? That's a douche move!" Really? Really? Don't get angry if you teabag us... and then we turn around and give you the Roman Helmet (def: While someone is passed out, gently and inconspicuously place your fleshy bag on their forehead while carefully laying your dudemeat down the bridge of their nose in parallel fashion).
So that's that. Frank won the picks with a perfect bracket and gets a drink from myself, Jared and Mike S. One more week of picks and then we'll do the tournament bracket betting like last year (probably for $3 or $5 each).
29 comments:
Chan Chan... I have no quarrels with how you played that. Tony is a douche. All you did was play by the same set of moral principals that they set forth earlier in the game.
Well done my friend. The only way douchey-ness will be forever removed from the league is if more events like this happen.
P.S. Yes I know I can act like Tony sometimes. It still doesn't make what he does acceptable.
I do enjoy the fact that Mr. Brown tries to right his moral compass by not giving a gameball out. An excerpt from his post game speech: "Good job team, way to secure a win! I apologize for not getting on base tonight and flubbing such a simple task as DROPPING a ball. However, I think in the spirit of the game, since I played like crap and counter-balanced one douch move with another, no game ball for anyone! Go Ligers!!
While Tony made a douche play the infield fly rule would not come into play since there was only a runner on first.
"The infield fly rule applies only when there are fewer than two outs, and there is a force play at third or home. In these situations, if a fair fly ball is a hit that, in the umpire's judgment, is catchable by an infielder with ordinary effort, the batter is out regardless of whether the ball is actually caught in flight."
If the ball was a floater like you say, shouldn't Andy have still run to first in case the ball is dropped. You never know what will happen. Sounds like bad captainship. You need to get your team to hustle more ChanChan. lol
Kickball is becoming more and more like the Prince song "when Doves Cry". I have no problem with any calls made and decided by a ref (that's their job) but it brings down the kickball "funness" when people argue over calls and get angry. I used to enjoy kickball but as of late, it seems like its all about winning. Look it may be just my point of view but in kickball there is no real winner. No one wins nothing but pride for that team who decided to play to win instead of the fun aspect for one or more seasons.. If you guys and girls really want to play to win then join a bowling league or something of the sort where you ARE playing for something..as in bowling...MONEY. Then you'll see how kickball was meant to be. I bowl on a league Friday nights and I bowl for money. My team is in 6th place out of 16 teams and we play for money,even though it is as little as it is. I would choose kickball for its commraderie and fun vs bowling any day of the week instead of playing kickball for its winning aspect. I mean the way people argue we all should just play for money. And no matter if you win or lose during the season we all still play at the tournament. Now I probably am putting a lil blame on my team for their outbursts but it's not only us it's the "fair" calls that need to be addressed.."again". Look during the season we ALL (and some of us do) should play for fun and not argue over calls. We play for fun. That's what I joined this league for. I didn't join another league to get all pissed off at one another and refs, I came to play my best (Yes by the way it was my error in the outfield that caused soo much competition to win and yet lose) and most of all have fun. Somewhere it seems we lost that in all the competition. Like I said I bowl in a league on Friday nights and if you people want to play some real competition, just let me know, at least in bowling I can talk the talk and walk the walk and we will play for money. Then you will see how it feels to win or lose...most likely lose. I just want to have the same fun as when I joined kickball when Christine was here...it's just not that fun anymore lately..too much arguing and yelling. And like I told Ty maybe we should implement a challenge procedure in which if a team wants to challenge a call the 2 teams would have a chug off with the runner and someone from the other team of equal stature. 2 challenges per game. It would relieve the stress from the refs calling a call that is argued by one team. But Ty shot it down. And guys don't take this personally for that it not what my post here meant to do. I posted because I feel last night really made me and my team down to its lowest point of the season. I do not blame the refs or the Ligers. Last night I blame my team for poor sportmanship. We play for fun. Ya we lose but we will be in the tournament. Yes that call bout Alicia should have been called interference, but oh well. My team feels they are being cheated on and ya on some calls and some teams yes, but I always keep in mind that this is for fun and friends and we will be in the tournament. Anyways I will probably get some flak from my team for what I posted and some other people will blast me. But I wanted to get this game back into having fun instead of competition and like I said if you people want some competition, let me know and I will put you in your place at bowling. At bowling, you better win or go home cuz its all bout competition and money. And partly because I am too damn good at a sport that deals with money and that I have been playing for many years.
So are you trying to recruit people for your bowling league? Or did I miss the point?
Point is I am tired of the whining and want to play just for fun. I have a team on my league as I stated.
Also if you people want to play to win go play on Tuesdays League and get off ours.
And my league dont need any people. Besides probably 90% of the kickballers want to have fun as I do, and not play to win on a league you win nothing. Comprende'?
And that's the bottom line...cuz smileydrunk says so...
Oh and I said me against competition freaks not on a league. To be the man you gotta beat the man...WHOOOO!!!
haha we're all on the same page. and that one play was easily the low-point of the Ligers in at least 4 seasons (you hear that Bull? add that to my legacy).
but hey... what about the Roman Helmet? that didn't get any lulz?
I don't think playing to win is the problem. Wanting yourself and your team to do well does not make a social league any less social. You show up, do your best, maybe you win, maybe you lose, but you're out there having fun with your friends. Problems arise when people take calls personally, try to manipulate the rules to gain a small advantage, try to relive those high school glory days, and forget that while winning is fun, Vince Lombardi is not a coach in our league...winning isn't everything. Everyone seems to have this idealistic notion that we can play in a kickball utopia where nobody cares about the game. It's still a game, it's meant to be a competition. Bowling, beer pong, rock paper scissors, whatever game you're playing there is competition. Whether you admit it or not, you want to win these things, but there is a limit to how far you can take that desire to win and still stay in the spirit of a social league. The game between the Ligers and Your Mom last night was the least fun game of kickball I've played. Both teams made plays that, to quote from Chandler's recap, were not in the "spirit of kickball". The fun/social aspects of the game are forgotten when we lose sight of the fact that we're all friends out there. It is possible to have fun, friendly compeition in kickball, you just have to remember that while winning is a goal, it should never be the only goal. End preachy sermon.
Christopher A. Souder
Very well said.
You know guys, if i wanted to read boring bullshit nonsense i would go to rushlimbaugh.com. But i don't! I come to bayshorekb for fun, funny, and interesting posts. Now i come here and i have to read pages of spam about bowling leagues and douchebags. If i wanted to read about bowling leagues and douchebags i would go to Jeanettes blog. This blog, when i made it, was fun and people enjoyed it. Now its wah this wah that bowling this bowling that. Why can't we all just call it quits and maybe have a circle jerk. You know there are other websites that you can post on, that love to talk about bowling, douche and crying. This one is suppose to be about donkey punches, roman helmets, mushroom stamping, maybe even a little bunghole tickling but never, ever bowling. Unless its drunken naked bowling for charity. This is just gotten totally out of control. Hold on, let me scroll up to see if i have typed long enough to equal that other really long rediculous post. Nope still have to keep going. Anyway so if you want to cry, try to win blog wars, be serious about a subject, or try to get something accomplished go to JN-800s blog. This is still not anywhere near long enough but i'm bored of this now....
And that is what I meant thanks Chris. You said it better than I did.
Much better chris
Sorry Rollo my bad.
Hehehehe :o)
Thanks Rollo, your mushroom stamp of approval means so much to me.
sounds like Rollo needs a hug.
and a doughnut.
I'll give him both of those things if I see him Saturday...
We could just stop keeping score. Any takers for that???
I'm really glad you went with "MuffDaddy"... btw.
1 point for you.
oh shit... now we're keeping score again.
I guess calling interference would have been an option in that play involving Alicia, but I would have had to assume it was a Liger who yelled out that she had to run back. And quite honestly, I have no idea who said it.
don't doubt yourself Yella... you're the best ref in the league and you're damn sexy too. excellent calls last night. haha
Chan, Roman Helment... awesome, I learned a new one! I really think we should start some sort of coffee table book with pics of Sexual Metaphors. I think The Verizon or The Dolphin are still my faves. Great post!
Simba!!
Yea that was pretty douchey...and Roman Helmet? Isn't that also called Arabian Goggles? LOL
That was an intense game last night. Much more than ours with the Toejammers.
And Your Mom and Ligers are usually big proponents of playing for fun...
Now that I have finally finished that novel about bowling, quit laughing at Rollo's responce, and completed my circle jerk...I just want to say that I think this is being blow a bit out of proportion. Yes Tony made a douche play but it has happened before and it will happen again. I will defend him and say it was a pretty heads up play though. I do not blame Chandler for trying to retaliate with a douche play of his own but he managed to F that up. The whole play at 2nd involving Alicia was a little sketchy and nobody knows exactly what really happened other then that Alicia made it to second, the play was basically dead (although the pitcher was not back to the mound with the ball yet), and someone told Alicia to go back to first and she was tagged out during the process of doing so. Regardless of what happened Your Mom lost because we did not play as well as the Ligers but both teams realize that they lost site of the spirit of kickball and will learn from it. Neither team is known from making a habit of these things so I think we are getting a little carried away.
Grifter- what is with all the hating on Tony lately? He made one douchebag yet clever play the whole season, dont hate on playing intense.
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