Monday, March 1, 2010

Hello Kickballers!


Nice to get in contact with all of you and introduce myself. I'm Gorecki's Hot-Tub. Most of you probably already know me so this is just for those of you that don't know me yet. I'm a fun-loving hot tub located at Gorecki's house. I love hanging out with kickballers (especially the girls), cutting loose and having great times. I do have some rules however and would appreciate you following them:
1. No peeing. I don't care how drunk you are, how the water feels or how cold it is outside. Walk around behind the house.

2. No puking. See above.

3. No semen. Don't care how hot she is or how huge his cock is. Guys should keep it out of water and girls should probably just swallow.

4. No spillage. Having drinks in me is fine, but keep the alcohol out of the water. I've got enough to worry about every time you invite over a brown guy like Ruben. Last thing I need is more beer eating up my chemicals.

5. Minimum Even M/F Ratio. I know this one is harder to enforce, but the last thing I want is a bunch of dudes swimming around in me. I'd prefer at least a 2-1 female ratio but I think asking for at least even is pretty fair.

6. Absolutely No More Solo Florian. I think the above statement covers this, but I just want to be really clear about this one. The dude pissed all over me last saturday and it was gross.

7. Absolutley No speedos. Done. Nadda. Never again. I know Yella brought April in with him complying with the ratio rule but for God's sake nobody wants to see that. I had to ask Mike to shock me the next day to get the image out of my head. Wear it in the house, you freak!

8. Have fun!

So that's pretty much about it. Keep it your pants guys and how about some girls try skinny dipping next time?


So to recap, More of this.....





















And how about a lot less of this...

14 comments:

Florian said...

The hot tub is spreading lies again. The last sentence of rule #5 is absolutely false. Lies I tell ya.

Chandler said...

Don't you mean #6?

Florian said...

Yes, of course. I have never been good with numbers. lol

Chandler said...

Not being good with numbers is probably why you violate rule #5.

Gorecki's Hot-Tub said...

Dude, regardless of whether or not you'll admit to breaking rule #6 just follow it. No more solo Flo, okay?

M. Gorecki said...

Couldn't have wrote it better myself! Thank you Gorecki's Hot Tub. (I'm curious to know who this author is) Anyways,i agree with all your rules. Maybe we can implement a "point system" of some sort where you gotta accumulate a certain number of points before being allowed in the tub. Bring women with you and exceeding rule #5, +2 points.. Violate Rule #6 & 7, -10 points and suspended indefinitely!

Brie said...

Hot-Tub, I'm insulted. Why is it "Gorecki's" hot tub? Do I not exist?? I believe my address is also 3306 W Paul Ave. Don't make me go outside and unplug you...

Gorecki's Hot-Tub said...

How many times have you checked my PH levels, Brie?

How many times have you added chemicals?

Ever shock me?

I recognize that this is your house too though, therefore my apologies. Why don't you go skinny dipping tonight in me and we'll bury the hatchet?

Brie said...

The last time I checked, your pH level was 7.6 though after Saturday night it's probably a lot lower like it was after the Christmas party (to which I did shock you with an oxidizer since the dirt and oil buildup was ridiculous).

Oh snap! :)

Gorecki's Hot-Tub said...

Touche. Why don't you disrobe and climb in for a swim?

Chandler said...

A hot tub just told our current president to "disrobe." I think it's time to shut the blog down... since it'll never get any more ridiculous.

Chris said...

Juse wait until the hot tub starts asking Brie to do that while wearing the Ding Dong and the Liger Visor, while soaking Flo's ankle.

SarahB said...

and eating Brookies Cookies lol

MJ said...

...while getting a Dirty Doda