Friday, February 11, 2011

Despite a Liger Win, GOKickball Doesn't Implode

The Ligers shut-out the Shockers 5-0 last night, in the second biggest upset of the week.  Most who witnessed the complete-game pitched by Paige on the Ground fully expected the Earth to open up and engulf our newly formed league.  Especially since THEE BEER NUTS defeated the defending champion Growlers 5-4 at the same time.

Nevertheless... life went on.

The Ligers win was attributed to classic stellar defense. Any kickball historian knows the Ligers have the biggest D in all the lands. While we recognize some people are intimidated by such bulging defense, we pride ourselves in being honest upfront about it.  And nobody works the D like Paige, who was promoted to pitcher seconds before kickoff by new captain Rollo.

Rollo, now 1-0 as captain (lifetime), was insufferable after the victory.  "The entire ride home he kept talking about how great his 'leadership' is," said his future wife Michelle.  "If the Ligers' don't lose soon, I'm totally going to ground him and take away his nightly ice cream!"

The Shockers kept their heads high in the aftermath of the upset. "We've been practicing for this during the off-season," explained captain Rob.  "I've got this long list of 'missing players' and 'injured reserve' excuses that I've been itching to use!"  Ironically, Rob was the ONLY Shocker to reach home plate last night... although it didn't happen until Paige stumbled in drunk at 3:15am and woke him up.

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So how did GOKickball do it's first night?  Well... overall I'd give it a B.  It seemed like everyone had fun, but we definitely have some kinks to work out.  Let's discuss those:

Here is a picture of what GOKickball looked like at 7pm.


Notice the pristine playing surfaces, and perfectly spaced out fields.  Also, notice the bum on the swing set sharpening his stabby stick.

Earlier last week, I joked with friends that there was no way in Hell the City of Tampa would have the lights on when we arrived.  So first, huge thank you to everyone who hung out at the parking lot party until the issue was fixed.  As for the issue itself?  The city person who turns on the lights was there at 6:45pm.  However, they said they are not allowed to flip the switch until 7pm exactly.  Johnny is supposed to call the city this week to explain how 200 people hanging out in the dark is a safety issue, and to quit blowing smoke up our ass.  I'll update you later on how that conversation goes.

Other issues:
  • Field Set-Up:  With the help of Bull and D-10 people, we're going to get the fields a lot more consistent.  But I think the rush job we did once the lights finally came on worked out for last night.
  • Ants:  There are a few ant piles out there.   The city put killer on some, but we shall go take care of the others.  However... I didn't hear about any major complaints regarding them.  If we had Smithkey playing this year, this shit would have been taking care of already (Power Stance).
  • Refs:  We have one paid ref running each game, just like Kickball Society does... and they are learning many things on the job. Just go easy on them for awhile, and familiarize yourself with some of the rules to help them.  We NEED to start providing help at 1st and 3rd base.  I'm talking with Johnny about putting a team together to help.  Once they get to know us better, they'll trust our judgment.  Personally I like reffing our own games, but GKB wants to have the distinguished fact of providing the service to us.  Later, I'll post up some of the biggest rule confusions.
  • Yard of Ale:  I thought the change of pace was nice last night. Some people went back and forth to MacDinton's, and some WAKA kids even came to hang out with us.  However, the specials we got were NOT as promised.  The only Abita beer that was $2 was Purple Haze.  Apparently the General Manager who quoted us the deal was fired two weeks before our season started, so we're working with different people now.  I suggested to Johnny that he point out how 95% of the bar (which was packed) was wearing GOKickball shirts.  Any good General Manager can clearly see that we wear the pants, and should quickly expand their offer of $2 beers.  All of this being said... who didn't enjoy the $2 Yuengling?  I woke up without a dirty-ass-Miller-Lite-keg-beer taste in my mouth... and it was fabulous.  Also, the wait for karaoke is like 10 minutes... which is awesome.  Give YoA some slack while they figure it out, but don't forget we run this show.
Final notes...

If the season ended today there's only TWO teams you should be voting for Crystal Pitcher (or whatever we call it).  1) SuperBad... only because Frank and Sandra drive an hour each way for our games.  2) Off Constantly. Their entire team was at the bar singing and dancing past 11:30pm.  It wasn't until Bull and I got on stage to sing that they started leaving (not that I blame them).  Excellent showing by that group.

I hope last night made everyone 100% aware that we DON'T need a dictatorship mentality running our kickball league.  Did you see what happened in Egypt today?  18 days of protests finally ended a 30-year reign of their "president."  Now... they're undoubtedly going to fuck it up and promote some other asshole to power (it's human nature).  But we're only asking for a place to play, cheap booze to drink and a little coddling.  WAKA really Grorec-Dropped the ball on our simple requests, and we will continue to remind them.  In the meantime... isn't it nice to have kickball back?

5 comments:

FRANK said...

nice, we get the crystal pitcher for pregamming for an hour on our way to the game!

Jack said...

The OC parties because we like to party, but if you want to crown our asses, go ahead. We'll take a trophy for doing what we do because we like shiny things to party with. We're kind of like raccoons in that sense.

Can we not name it the crystal pitcher, though? Maybe call it the Old Cup, Ostentatious Chalice, or better yet, the Omnipresent Carousers Trophy. Something with OC.

Hooray for mostly self-run kickball leagues.

Maria said...

Nice Post, enjoyable reading. thanks.

Maria said...

Still wish I could drink vodka at Yard of Ale....

Chandler said...

You can... if you bring it. ;)