Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ligers and Toejammers and Drama...OH MY!

Last week the Toejammers (8-1) and Ligers (5-3) faced off in a battle of completely contrasting styles:
- Advocates for Pro-Cupcake pitching vs. advocates of Pro-Douchey pitching 
- Everyone gets a lollipop for participation vs.Your ass gets cut if you make an error
- Pressure to make sure you're always having fun vs. pressure to win every game and be the highest ranked winless team in competitive tourneys.

But in an effort to make this FUN, we had some bets on the line:
1. Handjob Todd threw down his Subway Point card against Ruben's in a winner-take-all high stakes affair.
2. Christian threw down some Superman boxer-briefs against A-hole Toejammer Matt (AHTM) Toejammer Asshole Matt (TAHM) that he couldn't throw out QuickSilver on one of his infamous Chunts.


Game Summary: 

The Toejammers came out swinging with four runs in top of the first inning, while some of the Ligers came out swinging with a mindset that they were going to have a shitty night regardless:
Just don't kick me the ball..I'm good right here.
The Toejammers surged for three more runs before the Ligers retaliated with two of their own, bringing the score to 7-2. Later in the game after a few well placed kicks (and few well placed comments from the Liger bench), Ruben gets a bit flustered and starts tossing bouncy meatballs fun pitches to the Liger kickers, and subsequently misses the tag on Rollo's little bro, who is surprisingly flexible, as he ran home to score. Follow this by an "I-gotta-win-this-bet" velocity overthrow by AHTM TAHM, and a drop-kick from the outfield by Christian that missed Chandlers gray-bush by "inches" (according to Christian) the Ligers start to get some momentum going. At this point it's 7-6 and we're realizing that we actually have to pick up the offense again. So we score an insurance run to push it to 8-6 before locking down the defense to preserve the win.

Final Score: Toejammers - 8 Ligers - 6 


Other News and Notes:
- There were plenty of sexy schoolgirls out at the bar...good job, Growlers!
- Later on at Yard of Ale, Handjob Todd buys me a round and shared his thoughts on the game:
Betting Results:

1. Undies:
- QuickSilver's first kick attempt goes to Christian at shortstop and Matt cannot make a play. Second attempt is shanked and our catcher Joe throws him out on a call that (seeing how the Ligers reacted) surely landed our first base ref on the couch that night. On his third and final attempt, he finally lands the Chunt down the third base line to Matt, who rockets the ball into the outfield of the other field.

Result: After deliberation, it was decided that BOTH Christian and Matt would sport the Superman undies this week (or next  week if they don't arrive in time). At the time of this writing it was not clear as to why.

2. Subwaygate:
- After our victory, Ruben collects Todd's Subway card only to find that those shady folks at Subway corporate tried to hoodwink our hero out of the 219 points Handjob Todd had promised. After Ruben threatened to once again take his business elsewhere, balance (on the card) had been restored.

I had fun in this game and I hope others did as well.



14 comments:

Fat Kid said...

3 reasons as to why both Fat Kid and AHTM will be wearing the superman boxers/underwear:

1. Fat Kid feels bad for AHTM and doesnt want him to get made fun of completely alone.
2. Fat Kid agreed to join in on the superman boxers if AHTM wore superman underwear (as in tighty whities)
3. Since someone indeed threw out Quicksilver (our catcher Joe), Joe put forth the idea of both of us wearing the superman boxers. I owe Joe for being an asshole during our games against eachother, so all is right in the world now.

PS 1st base volunteer ref was amazing. superb reffing skills while being throughly involved in a side conversation, mad skills.

Jess said...

I thought it was TAHM?

RÜBS said...

im so glad Jess's cough is gone.

Mabancroft said...

Why you gotta change my name like that Griff? Not cool bro, not cool.

Fat Kid said...

you are correct, i blindly followed my captain's AHTM without consulting my cheat sheet of nick names.

AHTM=TAHM*

Griff said...

Haha I always get acronyms flipped around....talking geek-speak all day at work i guess?
I thought the term was originally coined as Asshole Toejammer Matt...but Maybe I called it Toejammer Asshole Matt last week...TAHM sounds better though.

Mabancroft said...

As long as we are all clear on who the asshole is. Wouldn't want anyone to be confused.

RÜBS said...

TAHM looks less like Ass To Mouth, AhTM, go with that, just saying.

Griff said...

lol done AND done. Edits made.

Fat Kid said...

and btw, my drop kick was on point, i misjudged Quicksilver's speed, just barely missed, im sure he felt the breeze of my heat seeking missle across the back of his neck.

Jess said...

Me too, Rubs! That cough was a bitch!

Chandler said...

Excellent recap, as always. And like I said at the bar: that was the most fun I've ever had losing to the ToeJammers.

!! HOT TUB PARTY TODD !! said...

We scored 2 in the first.
you guys brought it up to 7 -4 later on. then we added some more smackage to that before a final score of 8 - 6.
Inconclusive reports remain as to if Ruben was going soft on pitches, except to Maria, or if it was just his limp arm.
Inconclusive reports also remain as to if Ruben's pacemaker deactivated the Sub Card, which was later reactivated.

Griff said...

There goes Todd...sucking the fun out of this post with probably accurate facts and wild accusations....lol
Nice catch in left field, btw...those calf implants are amazing to see in action