Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Sports Science - Creepy Beard Pitching

Hello kickball fans! And welcome to another edition of SportsCenterKB Sports Science!





In this episode we'll examine just what makes Creepy Beard a formidable foe on the mound, as well as the most "non-Jewish" pitcher in the league!

At 5'3", CJ is eight inches shorter than the average pitcher in GKB, giving him unprecedented lines of sight as he looks up to his opponents standing at the plate. This advantage limits the ball flight before it hits the ground, allowing for minimum air-friction as illustrated in this to-scale image:

A dollar bill is exactly 6.14 inches long!

Releasing with over 25 lbs of force, CJ slings the 10-inch ball 42.42640687119 feet with enough power to run an electric razor for 1.8 seconds! Which probably explains the beard.

But CJ's most menacing tactic is his release angle, combined with a wicked 210 degree wrist-flick that spins the ball right-round faster than any Dead or Alive record in 1984. Look at these three different pitches to Deeks in last Thursday's game:


Creepy Beard is definitely not throwing "over-hand" as blog admins previously implied, but he's also definitely not throwing "under-hand" in accordance to Playing Rule #8. We're going to need some science!

Using the GOKickball logo centered in CJ's chest, we can draw a line to his hand position at the bottom of the ball. From there, we are able to calculate his exact release angle using PhotoShop's measuring tool (horizontal = 90°, straight down = 0°, in-between... you guessed it... 45°). Click on the images for full size analysis!

60 degrees
58 degrees
55 degrees

Perhaps only a GKB rules official can clarify if this is "sidearm," but science is fun!

Next week, we'll analyze how PbC Anne makes her pitches so crazy! Which will probably just turn into an excuse for us to measure the curvature of her voluptuous ass.

10 comments:

DanPBC said...

How is this not considered side arm? I could really care less if he actually pitches sidearm, but the fact that Superbad argues against it is ridiculous. It's F*&^$#@ sidearm. Just admit it "Fat" Frank.

trinihic said...

hahaha... oooh the time you have on your hands Sports Centre... I appreciate the attention to detail!

Griff said...

LOL John Brenkus has nothin on this!

Fat Kid said...

amazing

RÜBS said...

WELL done! Wow! "I believe in science and i hate all the childrens in the world!"

anyone else frightened of the implications of FUTURE KB science posts???

YOU SHOULD BE!

FRANK said...

So if there's a 1 degree change from perfectly straight, then that would make it sidearm. Maybe we need to have pitching machines to ensure the perfect pitch.

Smithkey said...

Awesome

Nate Dawg said...

25lbs of force and a 210 degree wrist flick?!?! That is amazing! I love science! Awesome post.

RTT Realty said...

hatas gonna hate

FRANK said...

And he only weighs 130 lbs.! He's like a carpenter ant